Fall Into Love

by Melody Anne

  My mother wanted me to stay over so I could help get the house ready in the morning, but by the time I got to their house, both my parents were asleep. I unlocked the door and slipped upstairs to my bedroom.

  Nothing had been changed since I’d gone to college. My mother’s doing. She still hoped I’d move back home where she could keep an eye on me. My burgundy bedspread called to me and I tugged off my shoes before slipping out of my jeans and T-shirt. I pulled on a pair of flannel pajamas covered with books—a Christmas present from the year before—and snuggled into my bed.

  I grabbed my laptop from my bag and booted it up. The screen lit the dark room with a white glow. Ignoring the manuscript pleading with me from its desktop home, I opened the Internet browser and typed in Gavin’s name.

  The first thing to come up was a news story about the press gathering for Viking Moon. It talked a bit about the show and the books, but the words blurred before me as I stared at the picture accompanying the article.

  My breath sped up and sweat beaded behind my neck.

  It couldn’t be. She’d told me it was over. He’d told me it was over. Still, I couldn’t deny the proof in front of me.

  The picture was of Gavin at the press conference earlier that day. His head bent low as he kissed a woman. It was a woman I recognized. An incredibly gorgeous redheaded woman.

  Leila Clarke.

  • • •

  After a sleepless night spent tossing and turning, for once I was happy to help my mother with chores. Whatever she asked me to do, I completed without protest. I scrubbed the toilet in the guest bathroom and refilled the soap. I vacuumed the living room, barking at my father to raise his feet while he watched football from the couch. I shoved my hand up a turkey’s ass and replaced its guts with mountains of herbed bread. Everything I did meant I didn’t have to think about the picture I’d seen the night before.

  When we all finally sat down to dinner later that afternoon, I shoveled forkfuls of mashed potatoes and stuffing into my mouth so I wouldn’t have to speak. My mother poured me a glass of red wine, but I pushed it away when I caught the scent, reminding me of the night with Tanner.

  We finished dinner and I gathered dishes from the table and walked them to the kitchen. I ran water over the plates and watched as it washed bright red cranberry sauce down the drain.

  Jin reached over my shoulder and turned off the tap before taking my hand. “Come on, Ellie-Bellie. We need to talk.”

  “But I need to help my mom with the dishes,” I said.

  “Dishes will still be here when we get back. Let’s go.”

  He grabbed our jackets from next to the door and dragged me out of the house. I took my denim jacket from him and shrugged it on, following in silence. We reached the park at the end of the street where we’d played as kids. The chilly weather and holidays meant it was abandoned, and we climbed up the wooden playset and scrunched in the space where kids usually waited to use the slide. At least it was well lit. I could still make him out clearly.

  Okay, Jin signed. Something’s going on with you. Spill it.

  I shivered and pulled my jacket tighter around me. I don’t know where to start.

  You’re a writer, he signed. Tell it to me like one of your books.

  My books are what caused all this in the first place.

  I’m listening.

  He leaned back on his hands and waited for me to speak. I released a sigh and told him everything. From paying Veronica to play me, to Reggie and the cowboy, to my night with Gavin and the picture I’d found the night before.

  I wiped at my damp face and tried to gauge his reaction. It was a few moments before he spoke.

  “Okay, so first things first. You slept with Gavin Hartley? Holy crap, El. Good job. I wouldn’t have called that one. You’ll have to give me every dirty detail.”

  “Um, that would be a no.”

  “Fine. I tried.” He leaned forward and settled his elbows on his crossed legs. “So, secondly, I can’t believe you paid this chick. Honey, you should’ve told me. We could have figured out some other way. Dyed your hair, told them you had some sort of rare contagious disease that kills actors, said you’re allergic to faux fur. Something.”

  “Yeah, all those sound way better than what I came up with,” I muttered.

  “You know what I’m trying to say,” he said. “I’m sorry about your roommate. Maybe she just needs some time? I’m sure it was quite the shock.”

  “Maybe. But you should’ve seen her face. I really hurt her.” I tugged at the ends of my hair.

  “From what you’ve said, she sounds like a sweet person. She’ll forgive you.”

  “Maybe.”

  “As for that Gavin douche, while I’m happy you snagged a member—pun very much intended—of the Hollywood elite, I still kinda want to punch him in the face for the Leila kiss.”

  “I deserve it.”

  Jin brushed a strand of hair off my face. “No, honey. You don’t. Yeah, you lied about your job, but you were always you. If he can’t see that, then he’s a total jackass.”

  “There’s more, Jin. Since I’m telling you all this, the least I can do is tell you the truth.”

  “The truth about what?”

  I wrapped my arms around myself and stared between the wooden planks below us. There was no going back now, and I would just have to trust that Jin, my oldest and dearest friend, would forgive me for what I was about to tell him. Whatever happened, this whole thing had taught me I was done hiding.

  “My accident. You know how I’ve always told everyone I couldn’t remember what happened and they blamed a faulty gas line?” I swallowed. “Well, it wasn’t. I let Annie light a match. After I’d left the gas oven on for hours.”

  “Elise, what are you talking about?”

  My body was racked with shivers. “Jin, it was all my fault. Annie died because of me.”

  Jin said nothing for a long time. I reached for his hand but he ripped away from me and stood. With a grace that could only come from years of dance training, he leaped off the playhouse and landed on his feet.

  “Jin, I—”

  He shook his head. “I need a minute, okay, Elise? Give me a few minutes to process this.”

  I clamped my teeth together and clenched my hands as he left the lights of the playground and headed toward a cluster of trees. The darkness and his black leather jacket rendered him almost invisible. My legs tingled from being tucked beneath me and I stood and shakily made my way down the playset ladder. There was no way I was even attempting the jump Jin had made look so easy.

  With my hands covering my face, I crumpled into the sand and sobbed. I’d officially lost everyone I cared about. Good going, Elise.

  I jumped as I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder. Jin lowered himself into the sand in front of me and crossed his legs. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him. What would make what I’d done even the slightest bit better?

  Jin ran his palms over his face and through his evergreen-tipped hair as though he was trying to wake himself up.

  “El, I always thought I was the one person you told everything to. The person you’d never lie to.”

  “I know, and I—”

  He held up a hand. “Please let me finish. I’ve known you since we were six years old. I knew you the day you went to that island. You would never have purposely harmed Annie. It was a stupid accident involving two kids who were scared and alone. I just wish I’d been there to help.”

  My body sagged and I wiped my sleeve across my face. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

  “For the accident? Yes. For lying to me about it all these years? Well, we’re gonna have to work on that. But I love you, El. Despite everything. And I wish you’d known I would’ve been here for you.”

  I leaned against the pole of the playset. “I know. But you were hurting so much when she died. And suddenly I was this freak that nobody wanted to be around. I couldn’t take you hating me, too.”

  I
could never hate you, he signed. Sometimes I want to slap you for doing things without thinking them through, but that’s for your own good.

  I probably deserve it.

  Yes, you probably do. Now, get over here.

  Are you gonna slap me? I signed.

  You’ll have to come here and find out.

  Jin rose to his knees and I did the same. He pulled me into his chest and I wrapped my arms around him, letting his body warm mine. When he released me, his mouth was a hard line.

  There’s one other thing, he signed.

  What’s that?

  I don’t think we should tell my parents.

  I couldn’t hide my surprise. Why not?

  “It was hard enough for them, losing Annie,” he said. “Let them stay somewhat content with it being nothing more than a freak accident beyond anyone’s control. They don’t need old, painful feelings brought to the surface.”

  “Okay.” I nodded. “If you’re sure.”

  “I am.”

  He stood and took my hand, prying me from the sand. We left the park without a word, both of us lost in thought. Then something occurred to me.

  “Hey,” I said. “You haven’t told me enough about Zach. How in the world did you meet a biology major?”

  “Oh, Elise.” He draped an arm over my shoulder. “That’s a story that’s going to require a lot of pumpkin pie and ice cream.”

  It took us the rest of the weekend to make a significant dent in the masses of food we had stockpiled at my house. And, even then, Jin and Zach cradled Tupperware with leftover turkey and pie when I dropped them off at the airport Sunday evening.

  I opened the window again as I drove back to town, letting the cool breeze lift the anxiousness bubbling in my stomach at the thought of returning to routine. Grabbing my overnight bag and some foil-wrapped food from my trunk—Tupperware was reserved for those who had to fly, according to my mother—I headed across campus to my dorm.

  The trees had surrendered their leaves weeks ago, and I shivered as I walked briskly between them. My breath came out in white puffs, a clear reminder that it was time to change into a heavier coat.

  When I entered my room, my bag dropped to the floor.

  “Reggie! You’re back!”

  She jumped and spun to face me. “Don’t get all excited. I’m just getting my stuff. Clint’s driving back now and he’s gonna pick me up. I’m going to live with him and his roommates at their house.”

  “Oh.” I picked up the bag from the floor and heaved it onto my bed. “Well, did you at least have a good Thanksgiving?”

  She stopped tossing clothes into her suitcase and stood with one hand on her hip. “Look, Elise, or Aubrey, or whatever your name is, I’m not interested in small talk. I just wanna pack and get out of here.”

  “Reggie, this is dumb. So what if I’m Aubrey? It’s just a pen name. I’m still Elise. I’m the same girl who was your roommate and friend. That hasn’t changed.”

  “Oh, really?” She slammed the suitcase shut. “A friend doesn’t lie to your face. A friend doesn’t spend night after night listening to you talk about your favorite books and not even mention she was the one who wrote them.”

  “I know,” I said. “And I’m sorry. It was me being stupid and insecure. Please tell me how I can make this better.”

  “You can’t.”

  She hauled her suitcase off the bed and the floor vibrated beneath me as it made contact. Something blinked behind her and she turned from me to answer the beckoning phone.

  Her back went rigid and her shoulders tensed. Then she dropped the phone. It shattered on the floor, the back disappearing somewhere beneath her bed. She didn’t move.

  “Reggie?” I stood and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

  She turned to me, her eyes filled with tears. “That was Clint’s mom.”

  My body grew cold. “Oh my God. What happened?”

  “She . . . she said he was in an accident.”

  My stomach turned to acid and the bitter taste coursed up my throat. “Is he okay?”

  “She doesn’t know. They’re already at the airport waiting for a flight. I . . . I have to get to the hospital.”

  “Of course.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She trembled against me. Her face was a scary shade of white. “I’ll drive you.”

  Reggie didn’t even protest as I led her out of the dorm and to my car. She spoke only when I asked what hospital he was at. I glanced at her every so often as we drove. Her hands wrung together in her lap, not even bothering to wipe at the tears that doused her cheeks.

  When we got to the hospital, I led her to a row of seats and went to the front desk. The stern woman in reception told me only family was allowed to inquire about Clint’s condition. I argued with her and told her his parents called us, but she wouldn’t back down. I gritted my teeth in frustration and hurled myself into one of the plastic chairs. Google informed me a flight from Chicago to Ohio took about an hour, but who knew how long Clint’s parents would have to wait to get through security, actually get on a plane, then grab a cab to the hospital. It wasn’t fair that our friend had to be alone until then. Stupid hospital.

  My roommate sat like a zombie beside me for the next couple of hours, her face barely registering the green walls and too-bright fluorescent lighting. The stinging scent of disinfectant assaulted my nostrils and I wrinkled my nose. I wriggled in my seat to bring feeling back into my bottom.

  My phone vibrated against my leg and I told Reggie I’d be back. She didn’t respond. I wandered around a corner and pulled my phone from my pocket, hoping maybe it was a text from Clint telling me this was all some sort of stupid joke. That he was actually back in our dorm room waiting to greet us with his usual hugs. The name glowing on the screen almost took my breath away. Gavin.

  I opened his message.

  GAVIN: Can I see you now? We need to talk.

  I frowned and the image of him kissing Leila flashed through my mind.

  ME: Can’t. At the hospital. Clint was in an accident.

  GAVIN: Oh my God. I’m sorry. Is he okay?

  A couple rushed past me, almost knocking me over, and I bit my lip to keep from cursing at them. No one needed to be yelled at in this place. My fingers worked the keyboard on my phone.

  ME: Dunno. They won’t tell us anything ’cause we’re not family. We’ve been waiting forever. Reggie’s freaking out. She looks like a coma patient.

  GAVIN: What hospital you at?

  I told him but explained, again, it was not the time for us to talk. I assured him I’d update him when we had news. Pocketing my phone, I tried once again with Nurse Ratched and took my seat as she blew me off one more time. Reggie’s head was bowed, her eyes never wavering from the ivory floor.

  I took her hand in mine. Her fingers were cold as ice and I wrapped my other hand around hers, trying to bring some of her warmth back.

  “You know he’s gonna be okay, right?” I said. “It’s Clint. He’s a giant cowboy. Of course he’s going to be fine.”

  She turned to me, her eyes wide and red-rimmed. “How do you know?”

  “I just do. Clint isn’t the kind of guy to leave a girl like you. He’s more of a gentleman than that.”

  Her chest heaved with a sob and she buried her face in my shoulder. I lifted my arm and pulled her into a sideways hug, letting her rest her head on my sternum. Her body shuddered beside me, and I clutched her for so long, my arm began to go numb.

  Over an hour later, someone tapped me and I looked up, hoping the nurse had come to her senses. My eyes widened as they met Gavin’s furled eyebrows.

  “Hey,” he said. “You okay?”

  I shook my head. “They won’t tell us anything. We just want to know what’s going on.”

  “Hang on.”

  He squeezed my shoulder and stepped toward the reception area. I hugged Reggie tightly as he bent over the desk and smiled at the nurse. He said something, but she flicked him away wit
h a wave of her wrist, focused solely on her computer. Gavin bent lower and spoke again. I angled myself to try to get a better view of his lips, but he had turned too far from me.

  The nurse finally looked up from her work and her eyes widened so much, I became concerned they were going to pop right out of her head. Her face took on a deep crimson color, and her mouth formed only what appeared to be stammers. Gavin ran his fingers through his hair and she fanned her hand in front of her face like she might faint right there. Then she nodded and blurted out something about “down the hall.”

  She handed Gavin a pen and paper. He signed the sheet and slid it across the desk as she whipped a phone from her ample bosom. Gavin leaned over and she snapped a picture as he pressed against her cheek. I would’ve rolled my eyes if I weren’t so concerned for Clint and too busy rocking the shaking Reggie.

  Gavin sauntered back over to us.

  “Come on,” he said, grabbing Reggie’s other arm so we could pull her out of the chair. “It’s this way.”

  We followed him down a white corridor, and I focused only on the back of his head, as opposed to the people occupying beds in the rooms to either side of me. Seeing this place brought back too many memories of the months I’d spent in the hospital all those years ago.

  “Does stuff like that happen all the time?” I asked.

  Gavin looked over his shoulder. “Like what?”

  “You flash a smile and get whatever you want?”

  His jaw tensed as he scanned my body. I shifted under his scrutiny. “I don’t always get what I want, Elise.”

  “Right.”

  Gavin followed a sign to the right and led us into a room a few shades greener than the emergency area we’d spent the last few hours in. A middle-aged couple stood in the center of the room, clinging to one another like they would fall over if they let go. I instantly recognized them from earlier. The couple who’d bumped into me when I’d been texting Gavin. Now I knew why they’d been in such a hurry. I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn’t told them off.