The One That Got Away

by S J Crabb

  Then it is time for the men to have their go. The other men go before Ben and get about half of their shots on target. I watch Ben wondering if he will do as well. I am absolutely amazed when he shoots every one of his clays and they explode in mid air. Even the Instructor is impressed and I raise my eyes up laughing at him. Cockily he comes over and lifts me up and spins me around. Laughing I say, “Typical. Is there anything that you aren’t good at?” He grins. “I thought you knew that by now.” We have a few more goes each and then go back for the lunch provided. The other couples joke around with us and we have a great time.

  On the drive home I say, “Thanks Ben, I really enjoyed that. It’s good to get out in the fresh air and that was something I have always wanted to do.” He smiles happily. “It’s great to see you enjoying yourself. We should do it more often.”

  Soon we are back at his house. We spend the evening in front of the TV with wine and a pasta dish for supper. These are the times that I love the best. Just chilling out together on our own; shutting out the world. I love the feel of him close to me. It makes me feel safe and secure and I am so grateful that he came back into my life. He rubs my arm as he watches the TV.

  I snuggle closer and I feel him tense up beside me. I stroke his leg and move my hand further up, enjoying knowing that he is hardening next to me. His hand grasps mine and he pulls it away and twists me around to face him. His eyes darken and he looks at me with lust in them. Pulling me towards him he kisses me deeply and passionately. Then he pushes me back on to the settee and pins me against the upholstery. He says in a low husky voice, “So you want to play do you?” I smile seductively up at him and run my tongue over my bottom lip, which I know drives him mad. His eyes burn into me and his breathing intensifies. I move my leg up so that it caresses his and stare into his eyes, willing him on. He gasps and runs his hands down my legs and hitches my skirt up, staring at me the whole time. With my free hand I cup the back of his head and draw it towards me and tease him with my mouth. Groaning he pulls me towards him and kisses me passionately. In no time at all he has removed my clothes and I his and I pull him tightly against me, aching for him. Pulling back he slows the pace until I am almost weeping with frustration. I can tell that he is doing it on purpose. He knows that I need him and he is making me wait. I try to pull him against me but he resists and I am left pleading with him,

  “Please Ben, now, hurry.” He laughs softly and spins me around onto my side facing away from him. He holds my body against his and let his hands go to work. He nuzzles the back of my neck and there is not any part of me that isn’t alive to his touch. When I don’t think that I can take anymore he spins me around to face him and I feel him inside me, moving slowly at first and then more urgently. We cling together moving together as one until we feel the release together, our bodies combined in one earth shattering explosion.

  Afterwards I lie against his chest and feel him stroking my back. I never want to leave this position and I cling to him. Soon he lifts me up and carries me to the shower. As the hot water cleanses us he strokes my face, looking at me gently. “What was that all about?” he says softly. Sighing I say, “I just love you so much Ben. I don’t ever want that to change.” Pulling me towards him he looks at me lovingly. “Move in with me Bella. This is your home now, don’t leave.” I pull back and look up into his eyes that are filled with love. Nodding at him I say, “Ok, I will. But not until after Phoebe’s wedding. It feels like that would be the right time.” He smiles and nods in agreement and then kisses me passionately, the water still coursing over us. Still soaking wet he carries me to the bedroom and once again makes love to me gently and with so much love that I almost cry. I know that I am home. This is where I belong.

  The weeks fly past and it is soon Phoebe’s hen party day. We are all getting a mini bus to take us to the paintballing centre and they are providing a barbeque afterwards. Even her mother and auntie are coming and I can’t help laughing at the thought of them on the rampage.

  There are about fifteen of us which include Phoebe’s cousins and friends from work. Boris’s cousin is also coming who is such a Sloane ranger. She has even worn her pearls and an Alice Band. Phoebe can’t wait to plaster her in paint to rough her up a bit.

  I really like Camilla. Despite the fact that she is so posh she has a wicked sense of humour and is hilarious with her one liners. She is married to a Lord so she is really Lady Camilla, but she doesn’t want anyone to call her by her title as she just wants to blend in with the crowd. We all split up and then the fun begins. I am so competitive and throw myself totally into it. I take no prisoners and strive to shoot everyone. Phoebe’s mother and Auntie are hilarious and can’t quite seem to grasp the concept. Every time they are shot they pretend to die and make a big song and dance about it. We are all soon in fits of laughter and totally covered in paint.

  It seems to fly past so quickly and soon we are all crowded around the barbeque, ravenous. I sit on the ground next to Phoebe and we enjoy our burgers and beers. We feel quite manly sitting there in our camouflage get up and we clink our beers together in a toast to Phoebe and Boris. Then Phoebe raises her can and says, “To my best friend. May we always be together.” As I clink her can my eyes fill with tears. Hugging her to me I almost sob as I say, “I love you Phoebe. Thank you for being the best friend that I could ever wish for. I am going to miss living with you.” She looks at me and we both burst out crying. Her mother comes over and shakes her head. “Come on girls; don’t cry it’s supposed to be a happy occasion. Things change but your friendship won’t.” Sniffing we nod at her and then Phoebe pulls me up. “Come on Bella, we need to go and get ready to paint the town red.”

  We all go back to Phoebe’s mother’s house to get ready. She cracks open the Champagne and we are all soon merry.

  Later that evening the mini bus takes us to Casanova’s, the local nightclub. Despite the fact that most of its clientele are under 18 we all hit the dance floor with abandon. Camilla is almost out of control and we laugh hysterically at her robotic dancing. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun out with my friends. It’s like we are teenagers again dancing around our handbags. We even get hit on by some guys who try to engage us in conversation, but we are having none of it. The place is packed and there isn’t much room to dance but we still manage to dance for most of the night. Phoebe shouts in my ear, “B, follow me to the loo will you, I’m dying here?” I laugh and we push our way towards the ladies. Typically there is a queue so we wait in line. “I’m shattered,” Phoebe says raising her eyes up.

  “I can’t believe we used to do this every weekend.” I laugh and nod in agreement. “We had fun though didn’t we?” She laughs and links her arm in mine. “Let’s make a pact that we will still have our nights out when we are old and grey.” Grinning at her I say, “Old yes, but grey Never!!” We remember that we always said that we would rather have pink or blue rinses than grey hair and we laugh together.

  I take a selfie of us with my phone and send it to Boris and Ben. That will annoy Ben I think laughing to myself. He was a bit put out that I was going to a nightclub. I think he has images of guys grabbing us on the dance floor for a snog like in the old days. Almost immediately he texts me back saying, “Behave yourself otherwise I will have to punish you.” I grin to myself. He really is such a control freak; well I will give him food for thought. I text back - sorry too late x-

  Phoebe is looking at me in disbelief and I crack up laughing. I shout in her ear, “got to keep them on their toes.” She shoves me and we fall into the ladies laughing hysterically. I see another text from Ben and I shiver in anticipation as it says - You have been warned. I’ll pick you up later. As if, I think. We won’t even get home until about 3am. Even he isn’t that weird. As we get back to the dance floor we nudge each other and fall about laughing. Camilla is on the dance floor snogging some unsuspecting guy whose hands are all over her. Phoebe and I look at each other in disbelief. If only her husband could see her n
ow.

  One by one the others start to drift home and soon it is just Phoebe, Camilla and myself left and we decide to head home.

  We ring for a cab to take us back to our flat and grab our coats from the cloakroom. Stepping over fallen teenagers and pushing past snogging couples we make our way outside. We look around for the cab and I can’t believe it when I see Ben waiting for us. He is leaning against his car door looking incredibly sexy. He looks at me and the look that he gives me makes my insides melt with desire. I grab Phoebe and Camilla and say, “Look, Ben’s here to give us a lift.”

  “Who, What?” says Camilla, squinting as she looks over to him. “Good God, is that him?” she says loudly, “Did I die and go to heaven in there? Can I sit in the front?” We laugh at her and she races over to and falls onto him. “Darling, have you ever wanted a threesome? If you have tonight’s your lucky night.” He laughs and raises his eyes up. I have to admit that even though I have drunk rather a lot he is looking incredibly hot. Even Phoebe can’t take her eyes off him. He holds open the door and helps Camilla inside. She flashes rather a lot of her assets to him as she gets in and I giggle to see him trying to hold in a laugh. Phoebe clambers around to the other side and jumps in, collapsing against the headrest. He opens my door and as I get in he brushes his hand against me. My body quivers at his touch and I can see that he knows the effect he is having on me. As I sit down he leans over me and pulls the seatbelt tightly around me. I can smell him as he lingers over the straps and he brushes my hair out of the way with his fingers, running them down around the straps, stroking my breast as he moves down. I am holding my breath and I am so turned on.

  Camilla and Phoebe are both collapsed in a heap and he looks at me, his eyes smouldering. He pulls away and my body screams out in anguish. He grins at me, his eyes full of promise and goes around the other side and gets in to the drivers seat. He puts on a classical CD and we start the journey back to my flat. The atmosphere is charged with sexual tension and I lean back listening to the seductive sounds of the music and imagine Ben and I making love to it.

  We are soon back at the flat and I nudge the two in the back awake. “We’re home Phoebs, Camilla.” I say shaking them awake. Bleary eyed they stagger from the car. Ben looks at me with amusement as I stay sitting and says, “Here you are then Bella, sleep well.” I look at him in surprise. “But I thought…” I say in confusion. He grins and says, “You thought what exactly?” Then I realise that this is his punishment that he promised me. God he’s good, he knows what effect he has on me and this is certainly the worst punishment he could give me.

  I get out of the car slowly and stand in front of him. Looking up at him seductively I tilt my head to one side. I reach out and tuck an imaginary piece of his hair behind his ear, making sure that my touch is light. I see his body tense and his eyes darken. Reaching up I gently kiss his lips and whisper, “Thank you Ben, drive home safely won’t you.” I run my fingers down the front of his chest and walk away to join my giggling friends. I can feel him watching us as we go inside and even though I know that I have paid him back I feel as though I am the one who has lost out.

  Chapter 30

  We all wake up with terrific hangovers the next day. I lay on the settee in my pyjamas for most of the day. Camilla goes home at around midday and Boris arrives about 2pm and offers to take us out for lunch. “Did you have your stag night last night?” I ask him as he plops down on the sofa. He nods and says, “Yes, a few of us went Go Karting and then for an Indian. We didn’t go to a club though like you girls, we just went back to mine and played cards.” I laugh at him and say, “Well judging by how we both feel I think that you made the right decision.”

  Phoebe comes in after getting ready and says, “Come on B, get dressed and we will take you for lunch.” I shake my head and say, “No it’s alright, you two go, I’m happy here thanks.”

  “Well if you’re sure.” Phoebe says, pulling Boris up. “Do you want us to bring anything back for you?” she says smiling at me. Shaking my head I say, “No thanks, I’m sure there’s something here I can have if I get hungry. “Well if you’re sure, bye Bella.” I wave them off and snuggle down in front of the TV. I am looking forward to my afternoon of laziness. After about an hour there is a knock on the door. I pause the DVD and get up to answer it. I am not expecting anyone and know it can’t be Ben because he texted me to say he couldn’t see me today as he had to travel up to Leeds for a meeting in the morning.

  As I answer the door I am very surprised to see Nathan standing there and I look at him in surprise. “Hi Bella,” he says smiling at me; looking like nothing had happened and it wasn’t unusual for him to be here. “Hi Nathan, um what do you want?” I say not quite sure what to do. I mean should I invite him in or just keep him standing there? I decide that I had better invite him in, even though it feels awkward.

  He looks at me and with a small smile he indicates for me to ask him in. I open the door to let him through and watch as he takes a seat on the settee. I don’t want to offer him a drink as I just want him to say what he has come to say and then go. I am aware that I am still in my pyjamas and look a total mess, not that it matters what he thinks of me now. I sit on the chair on the other side of the room and his smile falters as he notices that I distance myself from him. He runs his fingers through his hair and says, “I’m sorry Bella. I know that it is weird me just turning up here out of the blue but I had to see you.”

  I say, “Why, I thought that everything had been said already.” He shakes his head and looks at me with an angry expression. “The last time we spoke your boyfriend warned me off.” He says boyfriend in a sarcastic way which automatically gets my back up. He carries on. “You never explained anything to me and I had to keep away. I think that you at least owe me an explanation. After all I have kept my side of the bargain and told nobody about the two of you and kept away.” His face is set in a tight expression and I can feel my rage boiling inside me.

  Trying to maintain control of myself I reply, “That was months ago now. I don’t owe you anything Nathan. What’s done is done and there is no going back. You cheated on me and I found out. Granted I started a relationship shortly afterwards but I was faithful to you all the time we were together. As I understand it you have also now moved on and I couldn’t be happier for you.” A look of anguish flashes across his face and he jumps up and moves towards me. Kneeling in front of me he takes my hands in his. The move surprises me and taking advantage of it he says, “She’s not you Bella. I still love you more than anything. Ben is not the man for you, I am.” Snatching my hands away I move away to get some distance between us. I can’t believe this is happening and shake my head in consternation. He carries on pleading with me, “Please Bella, open your eyes. He is not right for you. We should be together and be getting married in a few weeks time. Wake up to the fact. I don’t belong with Sophie and you don’t belong with Ben.”

  I have heard enough and round on him angrily. “Get out Nathan and don’t come back. We finished a long time ago. I don’t want to hear anymore.” He sinks down on to the settee and sits there his head in his hands. “Ok Bella, don’t worry I won’t push it. I will go.” My heart is thumping and I feel sick. I wish that he would go and leave me alone. Looking at me he says in a small voice, “Before I do, I don’t suppose I could just use your bathroom.” He flicks me a rueful smile and despite feeling a bit surprised at the request I say, “Ok, but then you must go.”

  I watch him head towards my room to the en suite, and remember how many times he has stayed here before. It is almost as if it is how it used to be. He is gone for about five minutes and I am beginning to get annoyed again when he reappears. Coming over to me he says, “Thanks Bella, I am sorry to trouble you. I will go now.” Then unexpectedly he pulls me towards him and I can feel his familiar touch crushing me to him. He holds on tightly and I can hear his breath quicken. I am so stunned that I don’t react and he says, “I miss you every minute of the day. I will not rest
until you are back where you belong with me. Just remember that baby, I love you and I will not give up on you.”

  Recovering I push him away. Tears come into my eyes and I say, “Just leave Nathan. Please, I wish you well but you must forget about me. I’m sorry.” He looks at me with a pitiful look and then leaves. Running to the door I lock it and just stand there trying to comprehend what has just happened. My mind is whirring around at 10,000 miles an hour and I don’t know what to make of it. I can’t tell Ben because then Nathan would lose his job. I race into my bedroom and look at my little canvas. Somehow I need to be close to it. It represents freedom and space to me and I lift it down and hug it to me. I thought that all of that was in the past. I had hoped that Nathan would have moved on by now but clearly he hasn’t. Sinking down on to the bed I clasp the canvas to me. The sooner I move in with Ben the better. He will protect me and my life will move on. It is only then that I will be totally free and can start again.