Only Ever Us

by J. H. Croix

  As if on cue, there was a knock on the door, and Maisie hurried over to answer it. Beck came into the kitchen and glanced around with a grin. “Damn. It smells good in here. I don't get to stay?” he teased when his eyes made their way back to Maisie.

  She shook her head. “Definitely not.”

  Madison approached him, handing over the small pan. “When you get home, just pop this in the oven. It will only need to heat for a few minutes.”

  “Yes!” Beck flashed a grin, winking at the entire room as he lifted his son into his arms. “Good to see everyone.” His gaze landed on me. “Glad you're back in town to stay, Mae.”

  “Good to be here,” I called in return as he waved on the way out.

  Maisie sat down across from me, and I eyed her, bemused, as I shook my head. “Honestly, I never would have believed it.”

  “Believed what?” Maisie prompted.

  “That Beck Steele would fall that hard.”

  Maisie shrugged, her cheeks tingeing pink. “I didn't think so either. Even though I've been in town for years now, I tend to forget how many people grew up with him. He was such a flirt.”

  “He was,” Phoebe chimed in, “but he's always been a nice guy. He was never a jerk.”

  “Definitely not,” I added.

  Madison carried the casserole pan over, and we served ourselves using the plates stacked in the center of the table. We chatted casually, covering the usual topics of small-town gossip before Madison eyed Phoebe. “So, I keep hearing rumors, and I hate being that person.”

  “It's okay. It's a small town,” Maisie offered. “Simply living here is sort of a license to be nosy.”

  Madison pressed her lips together. “I know, but—”

  “I know what you’re wondering about,” Phoebe interjected. “Yes. My former best friend is engaged to my ex. I broke up with him before I knew about them. I don’t want him. I mean, I broke up with him for a reason, but it's totally awkward, and it sucks. To make it even more fun, she’s begging for my forgiveness.”

  “I still can't believe she's trying to do that,” I offered.

  Phoebe sighed and took a swallow of wine. “Yeah.”

  “Seriously?” Madison pressed.

  Phoebe nodded slowly. “Totally serious. The wedding is here next February.”

  “Oh my god, really?” Maisie interjected.

  “Fuck,” Madison offered succinctly.

  Phoebe rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that's really all I can think about it.”

  “What are you going to do?” Susannah asked.

  “Well, I'm sure as hell not going to be a bridesmaid in Tasha’s wedding like she's asked me.”

  “I can’t even believe that,” I repeated.

  Phoebe twisted her lips to the side. “She’s all, please forgive me, you don't understand, blah, blah, blah, I knew you didn't really love him, and it just happened. I'm glad they're in love. Honestly, I don't want him. I’m not even mad at him. It’s here, and I can't do the bridesmaid thing. She sent this long email about it and cc’d my mother on it.”

  “Your mother?” Madison yelped.

  “I know. It's just so embarrassing. I don't know what to do. Here's something random and weird, though.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Remember Archer?” Phoebe prompted.

  Maisie shook her head. “Obviously, I don't remember. I didn't grow up here.”

  Madison nodded in agreement.

  “Archer Cannon? He was in elementary school with us, right?” Susannah asked.

  Phoebe nodded.

  Susannah’s eyes widened. “Oh, yeah, you two were like best friends.”

  I nudged Phoebe with my elbow. “What about Archer? He's been gone for years.”

  “Yeah, he moved after fifth grade, I think. Every so often, I'd hear from him. Anyway, he's moving back to Alaska, and he needs a wife. He asked me.”

  “I'm sorry, what?” Maisie prompted, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table.

  “Yeah, I know. It's weird. I don't actually know why he needs a wife. Somehow he heard about what happened with my ex and Tasha and thought I might appreciate making it super clear I’m not pining after the guy. I think I'm going to take him up on it,” Phoebe explained.

  “Seriously?” Susannah asked. “When was the last time you saw him?”

  “I think it was fifth grade,” Phoebe said. “Maybe it’s nuts, but he was my best friend when we were little. I know he's a good guy. It'll just be for this. That's it.”

  “You're not going to just agree to fake marry some guy you haven’t seen in years?” Madison pressed, brushing her long dark hair off her shoulders. I was still getting to know Madison, and I liked her, but her beauty was intimidating.

  To make matters even more daunting, she always looked completely put together. For example, she had glittery tips on her fingernails tonight. I was also positive she plucked her eyebrows, yet somehow, they looked natural.

  “I’m not ready to say yes yet,” Phoebe replied. “Archer said he'll be here in January, and we can talk about it then.”

  I stared at her. “Um, I think that's a little insane.”

  “Agreed,” Susannah chimed in.

  Phoebe shrugged. “Look, my pride is seriously stinging right now. I'm pissed off at Tasha and can’t freaking get over how much nerve she has. I'm not going to do anything stupid, but I'm going to talk with him about it when he gets here.”

  Madison's wide eyes met mine. I glanced back at Phoebe. “Well, I guess you’ll figure it out when you do. We’ll be here if you need us.”

  “How are things with you and Rowan?” Maisie asked, a sly glint in her eyes.

  “They're good. I think.”

  “I think it's so freaking adorable. Rowan thought he'd never see you again, and now you're falling in love,” Maisie added.

  I was in deep when it came to Rowan, and it felt good just to admit it. Except I'd been ignoring that email from Chet. It felt like it was festering in the back of every thought that connected to Rowan. It reminded me of all the time we’d lost.

  When I got home that night, I decided to stop ignoring it. I opened up the email in the preview pane, only to realize the subject line was all there was to it. I stared at it, my fingers hovering, almost itching to type out a reply.

  I craved the sound of Rowan's voice. But I didn't want to tell him about this, so I didn't call. I never replied to the email.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Rowan

  “How's it going with Colbie?” Lucas asked.

  “Well, she's pissy. But Larry’s not talking to her, so she's mad at me, she's mad at my parents, and she's probably mad at you,” I replied.

  Lucas's startlingly beautiful wife, Valentina, smiled warmly, brushing a red curl off her shoulder. “She’ll be all right. Nobody likes to be told who they should or shouldn't see. Eventually, she’ll realize he’s a jerk.”

  “I know, but she should have already realized that,” I countered.

  She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “I'm not your sister, and I didn't date some guy who was a controlling asshole when I was in high school, but I do have super religious parents. They had opinions about everything I should do, and I hated it. Just be patient with her.”

  Lucas, besotted husband that he was, smiled at her before looking back at me. “She's usually right.”

  My laugh was dry. “I know she's right. I just hope Colbie eases up on my parents.”

  Valentina was distracted by their daughter calling her from the kitchen, and she hurried over, leaving me alone with Lucas.

  “It's good to see you,” he offered a moment later.

  “Good to be here.”

  “You like living in Alaska?”

  “Love it.”

  “Remy does too,” he offered with a nod.

  “I know. He’ll be staying put since he’s married now.”

  “When do you go back?” Valentina asked as she returned to the room.
<
br />   At that moment, my sister came in and flounced down on the couch beside me. She smiled over at Valentina. “Hi, how's it going?” She pointedly ignored Lucas.

  “Doing well. How are you?” Valentina asked politely as she perched on the armrest of Lucas’s chair.

  Colbie shrugged. “I’m fine. Did Rowan tell you he has a girlfriend?”

  Valentina shook her head. I figured my sister had a point to this, but I decided to wait and see. I didn’t have to wait long.

  “Yeah, nobody's about to tell him who he can and can't see,” Colbie offered with a dramatic eye roll.

  Lucas chuckled. “I know you're pissed at us, but I really don't think you want to date a meth dealer.”

  My sister rolled her eyes. I slid my arm around her shoulders, giving her a quick squeeze. “Ask me before you start seeing someone else.”

  Colbie’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, my god!”

  Valentina’s words crossed over hers. “You can't do that, Rowan.”

  “I know, I know,” I grumbled. “I just worry about you.”

  Colbie nudged me with her elbow, and I knew we were on the way to being okay. After my sister departed, I chatted a little more with Lucas and Valentina.

  “You met my friend Mae at UNC, right?”

  He nodded. “Oh, yeah, y’all were like besties.”

  “Yup. We went on a few dates. She’s from Alaska. I have to admit, that was maybe more than half the reason I took the job out there.”

  Valentina’s blue eyes held mine. I already knew my cousin's wife was not one to be underestimated, but damn, her gaze was so assessing. I felt as if she peeled back the layers of my soul. “I think you're in love,” she announced.

  Lucas glanced sideways at her and then back at me, his brows hitching.

  “I am,” I said simply.

  “Are you going to bring her back to visit sometime?” Valentina asked next.

  “I hope so,” I finally said.

  The next day, after brunch with my parents, I called up Darryl again.

  After we got through the initial pleasantries, I dived in. “You happen to know how to reach Chet?”

  “Dude, I don't think that’s a smart idea.”

  “Why?” I retorted.

  “Does Mae know you're trying to reach him? Since you called, Stephanie scouted out a little more info. Mae didn't want to pursue charges back then. One of their friends went with her to talk to the college about it.”

  “I know but—”

  “Come on, Rowan. What are you going to do?”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “Call Chet and, I don't know, make sure he knows I know, and I’ll make things difficult for him.”

  “I get it. I can imagine you want to rip that guy's balls off. He’s such a skeevy guy, such a dick, but he's also the kind of guy who would press charges.”

  “I'm not going to assault him or some dumb shit like that. I'm just gonna call him and let him know he’d better watch his back if I hear that he's done anything like that again.”

  I could imagine Darryl’s eyes rolling, hard. “We can track him down, but I think you should leave it alone unless Mae wants you to do something.”

  “I'm not going to be stupid, I promise.”

  An hour later, my phone was practically burning a hole in my hand. As promised, Darryl had texted me a phone number and an email. Chet was living in Raleigh now. He’d transferred to another college and graduated. He worked at some law office. Darryl had sent another text following with the name and phone number of the practice where he worked, suggesting maybe I could just let them know what I knew about Chet.

  I stared at the number, but I remembered his warning. I searched out my father in his study. “Dad, you got a minute?”

  He only worked part-time now, but he was a lawyer. Years back, he worked for the North Carolina Bar Association.

  “You okay?” he asked as I sat down in the chair across from his desk. He closed his laptop and leaned back.

  “I'm fine, but I have a question. Hypothetically, suppose someone had a habit of spiking girls’ drinks in college and raping them, and went on to become a lawyer. What are the chances the bar association would do anything about that?”

  My dad's eyes narrowed. “Is this actually a hypothetical?”

  I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a bitter laugh. “No. Remember Mae?”

  My dad nodded quickly. “Yeah, your friend from college. I thought y’all might date someday.”

  “We are now.”

  His lips started to curve into a smile before his gaze sobered. “Oh, no. Is that what happened to Mae?”

  “Yeah, and she's not the only one.”

  My chest ached and cold anger knotted in my gut every time I thought about what happened to Mae.

  “Look, I'm sure you know charges in cases like that are difficult to prove. If enough women come forward, there might be a stronger case. Criminally, the standard is hard to meet unless there’s physical evidence. Civil cases are much easier to move forward. I can connect you with a friend of mine who can give you some feedback. Have you talked to Mae about this?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet. I was actually going to call the guy who did it and confront him, but I thought better of it and came to talk to you.”

  My dad stared at me for a long moment, pinching the bridge of his nose before his hand fell to his desk. “I understand why you'd want to call him, but don't do anything stupid. I’m assuming you asked about the bar association because he’s a lawyer.” At my nod, my father continued, “Unfortunately, people like that are the ones who make a mockery of the legal profession. They misuse and abuse their knowledge.”

  I swallowed. “I know. I won’t do anything stupid, but I'd love to talk to your friend for some feedback about options.”

  Before I got on my flight that afternoon, I had a long talk with his friend. Jill clearly reiterated what I already knew. Those cases were difficult to charge under the best of circumstances. With the time elapsed, it would be even more challenging. She also suggested approaching it from the civil side.

  As I flew back to Alaska, my mind was churning. I wanted to persuade Mae to do something, anything, about this.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Mae

  I couldn't even count how many times I stared at the subject line of that email. I hated the little red dot on the email icon on my phone and my laptop indicating an unread email, but I didn't dare to officially open it. I didn't want Chet to somehow know I’d opened it.

  After a last glance at that stupid red dot, I slipped my phone into my purse and hurried through the biting cold air into the airport. Rowan’s plane was landing, and it was close to midnight. A light snow was falling outside. I forgot about Chet while I was waiting for Rowan. It had only been six days, and I'd missed him every single minute of every single day.

  I waited impatiently outside the security area. I had checked the arrival times to confirm he was due to arrive on time. Restless, I kept checking my watch.

  My heart rattled against my ribs the second I saw him. He was tall, standing above the passengers filing out. His eyes landed on mine when he was still behind the glass. My heart felt as if a ray of warm sun shined upon it after days of clouds. Moments later, he was weaving his way through the crowd and stopping in front of me.

  “Hey, you,” I murmured.

  “I missed you,” he replied as he folded me in his arms.

  His bag slid off his shoulder and thumped to the floor. A sense of relief and peace washed through me. This thing with Rowan was both new and intense but also familiar. He’d been my friend before, and I knew him. I breathed in the scent of him, a little crisp and somehow always with a hint of forest clinging to him. Maybe it was a firefighter thing.

  I had no idea how long we stood there until someone bumped into me from behind, apologizing as they moved away.

  I lifted my head, leaning up to press a kiss on the underside of his jaw. “My car's warm. Do you need to get
anything from baggage claim?”

  Rowan leaned over and looped his bag over his shoulder while lacing his fingers through mine with his other hand. “Nope. I hate dealing with baggage claim,” he said as he smiled down at me.

  I savored the feel of his warm hand around mine. “How was Thanksgiving?” I asked as we walked toward the parking garage.

  “It was good. I missed you, but I'm glad I went.”

  “How’s your sister?”

  “Well, Colbie’s not thrilled with me, but the asshole’s not in the picture anymore.”

  I looked up at him. “What did you do, Rowan?”

  “Let's get going, and I'll explain.”

  A few minutes later, we were in my car, and Rowan's palm was resting on my thigh. After I paid the parking fee and got on the highway, I ordered, “Okay, spill.”

  “I got the scoop from my cousin Lucas who's on the first responder crew there. The guy she was dating deals meth with his father. His dad has a history of knocking him and his mom around. Colbie’s not the first girl he's got a history of being controlling with. I don't know if he ever hit her. She wouldn't tell me, but I suspect he did.”

  I whipped my gaze to his before looking back at the highway quickly. “That’s awful.”

  “I know. Lucas and I went there and explained we were going to make life miserable for him if he didn't fucking leave her alone. She cried and argued with us about it. It took a few days, but she was speaking to me again before I left.”

  I glanced his way. “Okay, I understand, but I can imagine Colbie didn’t appreciate you being controlling about him.”

  “Mae, what was I supposed to do? The guy's dealing meth.”

  “I get it, I do. I just hope she doesn't take it as a reason to push you away.”

  “I know. I don't think she was happy with him. He’s such an ass he told us she sucked in bed. I mean, my god! I don’t even want to think about my sister with anyone, but it says a lot about the kind of guy he is that he’d say that to us.”