Worth the Risk

by Lindsay Paige

  We’re in Montréal, our second stop on this road trip, and it’s the day before Thanksgiving. Some of the guys are getting together to eat, but I’m meeting with an old buddy of mine, Derek Novak. He’s also a professional hockey player and we always meet up if we have time whenever one of us is in the other’s town. We played hockey together when we were younger and he’s one of my best friends. Whenever we get together, we always seem to pick up where we left off.

  “You get a nanny yet?” he asks as he slides into the booth.

  “You’re late.”

  He shrugs. “It’s just you, so it doesn’t matter. Please tell me that your ma isn’t still taking care of your kid.”

  “I have a nanny.”

  “Since when?” he asks in disbelief.

  “About a week.”

  His eyes narrow. “I’ve talked to you since then. Why didn’t you tell me?” I shrug, and he ignores it. “Is she good? Is she taking care of the baby like she should?”

  I glare at him. “For someone who self-appointed himself as my baby’s godfather, ‘the baby’ is a girl and she has a name.”

  Derek rolls his eyes. He refers to Bree as the baby all the time just to piss me off. “Fine. Is she taking care of Bree? How is she?”

  Before I can answer, the waiter walks up to take our drink orders. My phone buzzes with a text as he walks away. It’s a selfie of Bree and Raelynn with a message that she wants to talk to me if I’m not busy. I tap the picture and turn it to Derek.

  “She looks fine, doesn’t she?”

  He snatches it from my hand to hold it closer to his face. “Who the fuck is holding the baby?”

  “My nanny, Raelynn.”

  Derek’s gaze lifts to meet mine. “This woman?” His eyes drop again. “This ‘hot as hell, I’d totally fuck her in a heartbeat woman’ is your nanny?”

  My jaw clenches, my eyes narrow, and I wish I could punch him. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

  He looks at me again. “When you said nanny, I expected someone like your mom. Middle-aged, maybe older, motherly, but not someone who when you see her, she gives you an instant hard-on. No wonder you didn’t tell me about her. You have the hots for your nanny, don’t you, EJ?”

  I yank my phone from his hand. “No,” I snap with too much denial. “She’s just a woman taking care of my princess.” I glance down at the photo, but somehow, it’s trying to start a video call with her. Derek opens his mouth, but I hold up my hand as she answers.

  “Hey, Elias,” Raelynn says. “Hold on.” Her face disappears and now I see the ceiling. Elias? Derek mouths, trying not to laugh. “No no, Bree,” I hear her say. “Come on. You can look at your DaDa while I talk to him.”

  I frown as Derek slides out of his side of the booth and moves next to me, so he can view the screen, but stay out of sight.

  “Is everything okay?” Raelynn asks, bringing my eyes back to the phone. “Where are you?”

  “In a restaurant. Is everything okay there?” Bree tries to grab her phone, so I add, “Hey, princess.” She gives me a big, goofy grin.

  “Yeah. I, ah, just wanted to let you know that Brayden stopped by last night. He said he just wanted to see Bree. He hung out for a bit, fell asleep, and then left. I felt like maybe you’d want to know he stopped by.”

  “Okay. That’s fine.” Also might explain the text I got as I was walking into the restaurant. He wanted to know if she would be alone for Thanksgiving and if so, could he have her number so he could invite her over to his house. “He might text you and invite you to his house for Thanksgiving. You should go.”

  Her eyes widen a little. “Oh, okay. Well, you should be eating or whatever. If you want to talk to Bree later, call me back.” She pauses and then adds with a slight smile, “Still no coherent words.”

  I laugh a little. “Good to know. She’s probably saving them for when I come home.”

  Bree reaches for the phone again. Raelynn isn’t fast enough and Bree disconnects the call. Derek moves back to his side of the booth. He eyes the menu and doesn’t say a word. That’s bad. So, so bad that he isn’t talking yet. The waiter returns with our drinks and takes Derek’s order. I decide to order the same thing as him since I didn’t really look over the menu that well.

  “How did you even find her?” he eventually asks.

  “She was looking for a job, and she went into Brayden Hayes’s girlfriend’s workplace. He was there and got her an interview with me. She’s just a twenty-two-year-old single mom who happens to be my nanny.”

  “Wait. She has a kid?”

  “A five-year-old,” I say with a nod. “It’s just the two of them.”

  He whistles quietly. “Well, that puts a spin on things.” He folds his arms and leans forward on the table. “Are you seriously trying to tell me that you don’t find her attractive? I mean, you’ve seen what she looks like, right? She’s even your type.”

  “I don’t have a type,” I quickly dismiss.

  “She has brown hair, green eyes, and do I really need to go into detail about her rack? She’d be perfect for you looks-wise if she’s short.” At that, I look down at the napkin and fiddle with it. “Holy shit. She’s short!” Derek laughs.

  “Anyone is short compared to me.” Not anyone, but most women. I’m six feet two inches. Raelynn’s lucky if she’s five foot four, if I had to guess. And I really don’t have a type. Brown hair is common. The green eyes thing has been a total coincidence and it hasn’t happened every time. I think back on girls I’ve seen before. He may have me on the short girl thing. Not saying I’ll dismiss a girl based on height, but I don’t know. He’s fucking with my head now. Bree’s mom was average height, so he can suck on that.

  “You’re in denial,” he says with a chuckle.

  “Leave it alone, Derek. Nothing’s happening. Nothing’s going to happen. I need her as my nanny more than I need to...” My voice trails off as I struggle with what to say.

  “More than you need to fuck her or have a relationship with her?”

  “Yeah, whatever. What are you doing for Christmas?” I ask. Sometimes, he’ll spend it with my family.

  “What are you doing? Is Christmas at your place or Ma’s?” Yeah, he’s been around too much since he calls my mom Ma like I do. “Is Raelynn going to be there?” he asks in a sugary voice.

  “I don’t know on all accounts. Ma will probably want us to go there, but I don’t know if I want to fly with Bree yet, especially over a holiday.” That just sounds horrible. If I have time off during the season, why would I want to spend any of it in an airport or on a plane? Especially considering it’s just a few days, such a short time period, and I don’t know how Bree will be on a plane. I haven’t taken her anywhere yet. “Christmas will be at my house,” I decide right then. “You’re more than welcome to come and sleep in Bree’s room or on the couch.”

  “Thanks. I’ll book my tickets soon.”

  I ask him if he’s seeing anyone, getting the conversation far away from Raelynn. Talking to him, though, has unfortunately made me realize I need to start thinking about Christmas. This will be Bree’s first Christmas. I don’t want to go too crazy, considering she’ll be ten months old by then and let’s face it, she won’t know what the hell is going on, but there’s a bit of a weight on my shoulders. If I want to start any traditions with her, this is the year to start, especially if later, I want to be able to say, “I’ve been doing this since you were a baby!”

  I wonder what traditions, if any, Raelynn has with Jackson. The only one Mom and Dad really had with me was buying an ornament for me every year. That’ll be a good one to pass down. There’s still time to think about it, though. The bigger issue is that it looks as if I’ll have a full house for a few days in a month. I’m actually looking forward to it.

  When someone is out of the game, the lack of his presence can be felt by everyone, especially when it’s a prominent person like Brayden. He may not be the most talkative guy and he can be a bit rough on the sur
face, but he has a confident, reassuring presence nonetheless. People look up to him. They listen to him. They follow his lead. With him at home, dealing with a concussion, Scotty is the one who seems to make the best attempt at filling his shoes.

  Once we skate onto the ice, it doesn’t take long to feel and see that our start will be another shaky one since losing Brayden. Shaky starts aren’t fun, but it’s nothing to be concerned about right now. We just need to get our minds focused, get our legs going, and tally a few goals. We can repeat what we did the last game. Start on the wobbly side, but finish strong and with a win.

  They score first and second. Both times, the puck seemingly makes an easy path past Liam ‘Savage’ Irving, our goalie in net. The rest of the first period is scoreless, but there’s a lot of back and forth up and down the ice as possession of the puck changes hands from their team to ours.

  The second period starts off much better. The Kessy twins are on the ice with Sergey Orlovsky, the trio of forwards who have been working well together lately; they rush down the ice. Serge has the puck, but there’s a defenseman on his heels, so he passes it to Collin, who is in the middle of the ice. He slaps it to his brother and from his place along the boards, he slaps the puck toward the goalie with a quick release.

  The entire bench holds their breath for a moment.

  Waiting.

  We exhale as we stand, fist bumping and cheering for Thing Two’s goal. We’re on the board and now only one goal behind.

  The next chance comes with about five minutes left in the period. I just swiped the puck from a player and send it gliding along the boards and behind the net, right to where Nathan ‘Donny’ O’Donnell waits to scoop it up. The goalie squares up to him, but Donny shoots and the puck wiggles its way between the post and his shoulder, knocking into the back of the net.

  Tie game.

  The third period seems to be the most intense. Everyone wants to score the next goal, to take the lead, and maybe even have that goal be the one to secure the win by the time the seconds count down to end the game. Ian ‘Bruiser’ Rhett draws a penalty. While one of their players sits in the sin bin, Scotty charges down the ice with the puck after gaining it from the face-off. He sends it right through the five-hole.

  And not another goal is scored.

  Rebels win.

  I’m finally home. It’s late and the house is quiet, except for my footsteps. I walk up the steps and peek into Jackson’s room first. He’s sprawled out on his stomach, sleeping soundly. Across the hall, my princess has her arms up above her head and her legs stretched out as she sleeps. She’s too fucking cute. Lastly, I walk to Raelynn’s room. The door is halfway closed, but a light is on.

  “Hey,” I say, expecting her to be awake when I push the door open.

  She’s not.

  She lies on her stomach, her cheek is smushed against an open book, and a laptop sits next to her. What is she doing? Another book sits by the one she’s using as her pillow and I pick it up. It’s a textbook. Why would she have a textbook? Raelynn hasn’t mentioned being in school. Then again, Raelynn doesn’t talk much about herself.

  I set the book on the dresser and then the laptop, closing it. I gently shake her shoulder, remembering how easily she wakes up.

  Raelynn rolls over and squints at me. “Elias?”

  “Hey. I figured you may want to use a real pillow.”

  She glances down at her textbook. “Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” Raelynn closes it and I take it from her so she doesn’t have to get up to put it on the dresser with the other one. She sits up, criss-crosses her legs, and grabs a pillow to hide the fact she’s braless. “Good trip?”

  “Yeah.” I sit on the edge of the bed, briefly wonder if I’m crossing a boundary, and then ask, “Are you in school?”

  Raelynn grabs the hem of the pillowcase and twists it around her fingers. “Yep. I’ve been working on a business degree for practically forever. I don’t know what I’ll do with it, but at least I’ll have a degree.” She rubs her eyes. “What time is it anyway?” There she goes again. She gave me more than I was expecting, which was a simple yep, but it didn’t take long before she deflected the subject away from her.

  “Late enough. Go back to sleep; I was just checking in on everyone.” I stand and walk to the door. “Oh.” I turn around to face her. “My parents, maybe my sister, and a friend of mine are coming here for Christmas during my time off. I only have a few days, but they’ll be here. If it’s okay with you, I thought Jackson could stay in here with you, so my parents could sleep in his room. Derek will sleep on the couch, maybe, so my sister can sleep in Bree’s room. I think that’ll work. What’s the matter?” I ask since she’s frowning, but the moment I ask, it disappears.

  “Nothing. Your parents can have my room. Derek or your sister can have Jackson’s. We won’t be here.”

  “You won’t?” I ask with surprise. Where is she going? Before I can ask, she speaks again.

  “I think I’ll see about visiting a very old friend of mine who I haven’t seen since I left home.” She twirls a strand of her hair. “Yeah, we’ll do that.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, you’re more than welcome to stay here with us.”

  Her hand drops from her hair as she nods. “Thanks for letting me know. We should get some sleep. G’night, Elias.”

  “Yeah, good night, Raelynn.” I leave her room and cross the hall to mine. Well, I learned a few things about Raelynn tonight. She’s earning a degree. There’s a possibility she isn’t from here if she left home, as she said. And I don’t think she likes the idea of me being home for Christmas.

  That bugs me a hell of a lot more than it should.

  The next morning, I find out when Elias’s Christmas break is and book a hotel room for Jackson and me during that time. The idea of being here during the holiday and intruding on his family time nearly made me sick to my stomach when he told me about it. I didn’t even know he had a sister because he hadn’t mentioned her. Just like I need to ask about Bree’s mom, but for some reason, I haven’t done that yet.

  I felt horrible wasting my money on a hotel room, too, but I can’t imagine being here during that time. It was a bit awkward spending Thanksgiving with his teammate. Nice, but I felt out of place. I can only imagine how much worse it will be if it’s a holiday with Elias and his family.

  “Hey, Raelynn?”

  I look up at a nervous-looking Elias and am immediately on guard. “Yeah?”

  His mouth opens and closes. “I want to ask you something, but I don’t know how without sounding rude.”

  “Oh. Just ask then.”

  “Are those all the toys Jackson has?”

  My cheeks flush with embarrassment. Thankfully, I’ve always been tan enough that it’s hard to tell when they’re flush. “Yep,” I say, popping the p like usual and trying to sound nonchalant. “He lost a few during the move, but we normally play pretend or build a fort or read books.” Damn it. Maybe I should’ve bought Jackson some more toys while Elias was on his road trip, but I didn’t think about it. I went with what he needed.

  I want to save up as much money as I can with what Elias pays me. Who knows when I might lose this job or need that money for a rainy day. My current rainy day fund is nonexistent, so it definitely needs to be built back up. Jackson hasn’t even asked for anything lately. Have I been too distracted by Bree that I’ve neglected him somehow?

  “It’s fine, Raelynn,” Elias says as if he can read the panic on my face. “Can I pick him up from school today?”

  “Why? No.” I shake my head before he can tell me why he wants to do this. “He won’t know to look for you and it might freak him out.”

  “Like it’s freaking you out right now,” he lightly teases me. “I just want to pick him up and take him somewhere. You and Bree can come.”

  “Where do you think you’re taking my son?” My heart beats wildly in my chest as if he told me he planned to kidnap him. I’m officially crazy.

  Before Elias can answer
, the doorbell chimes a sound throughout the house. He stands and goes to answer it, Bree on his hip.

  “Is Raelynn here?”

  My body freezes at that voice. It’s older, manlier, but it sounds like...no. It can’t be.

  “Raelynn?” Elias calls.

  I don’t move. It can’t be. How did he find me? What would he want?

  “One second.” Footsteps sound as Elias walks into the living room and crouches in front of me. “Raelynn? What’s wrong?”

  “I think...it sounded like Jackson’s father,” I whisper.

  His eyes widen. “Is this bad?”

  I nod. “I haven’t seen him since I told him I was pregnant. I don’t know how he found me either. I never told anyone where I planned to go.”

  Elias’s face hardens. He holds out his hand. “Come on. Let’s see what he wants.”

  Reluctantly, I take his hand and he pulls me up to stand. He leads me to the still-open door, never letting go of my hand. I squeeze the life out of it and wish I could hide behind him, much like how Jackson likes to hide behind me, when I see Henry. He looks practically the same, but all those boyish features have molded into a grown-up, manly version.

  “How’d you find me?”

  “I can’t come in?” he asks.

  “Answer her question,” Elias demands.

  Henry glances between the two of us and our joined hands. I don’t care what he thinks. I just want to know what he wants. “I hired a private investigator.” He leaves it at that. “I want to talk to you, Rae.” I flinch at hearing him shorten my name like he used to. “Can I come in?”

  I step aside and Elias follows suit. Henry steps into the house, going no further than he has to, waiting for me to lead him in a certain direction, but I’d rather send him back out the door. Elias taps the door closed with his foot since I have no plans of letting go of his hand. He walks into the kitchen.