Worth the Risk

by Lindsay Paige

“She was thinking about one day next week,” Deanna adds.

  “Just let me know when and I’ll be there.”

  “Here they come!” Jackson shouts with excitement as the guys return for the next period.

  Bree falls asleep, totally missing the action on the ice. Sydney’s husband, Ian, gets into a fight that adds a whole new level of intensity to the raucous crowd. The Kessy twins break away and fly down the ice with only one of their opponents in their way as he skates backward about midway between them. He doesn’t seem like he knows what they will do, but one of them, I can’t tell which, ends up with the puck and crashes the net, the puck trickling past the goalie and over the line.

  Thankfully, Jackson slipped off my lap in anticipation, so his celebration doesn’t wake Bree. The score is now three to zero. The Rebels hold that score until the time runs out. Jackson can’t stop smiling over the victory. The guys are leaving tonight for Tampa Bay, so we head on home. Henry drove separately to the game, so it’s just us.

  I walk into the house, but I frown when I see the alarm panel blinking. Looks like I wasn’t paying enough attention when we left and I set the silent alarm instead. All of a sudden, two things happen.

  Footsteps bound from upstairs, rushing toward the front door, and police sirens wail nearby.

  I scream at the sight of the three intruders, pulling Jackson closer to me by his shirt. They yank open the front door and keep running. My feet cement into place, even as Jackson looks up to me and asks me a question I don’t quite comprehend. Even when two officers come in, I can’t seem to move.

  “Ma’am, do you live here?” one of them asks.

  I nod.

  “Is anyone else in the house?”

  “I...I don’t know. Three guys just ran downstairs and out the front door.”

  One of the officers talks into the walkie talkie on his shoulder and the other heads upstairs, presumably to make sure we’re alone in the house. The guy that stays asks me what happened but my nerves are so shot to hell, my hands tremble, and my legs feel weak. I walk over to the table and sit down with Jackson balancing on one thigh and Bree on the other, my arms firmly around them both.

  “Can I call someone first?” I ask. Elias isn’t here, I can’t stay in this house alone tonight, and I need some support. There’s only one person I can think to call.

  Henry.

  There are voicemails on my phone when we land, and assuming they are from Raelynn, I attempt to videochat with her the moment I’m in the hotel room. It’s late. Late enough that I’m thrown off and surprised when Jackson’s face appears on my screen instead of hers.

  “Hey, J-man. What are you still doing up?”

  “Momma hasn’t told me to go to bed yet.”

  Okay, that’s weird. “Where is your mom? I want to talk to her.”

  Jackson stands, the view changing to his feet as he walks, and it seems as if he lifts the phone because I’m suddenly hit with another view. Of Raelynn and Henry hugging. Henry looks as if he’s holding on as tightly as possible because Raelynn might slip through his fingertips at any moment. What the hell is he doing at my house at this hour? And why are they hugging? Even though I can’t see Raelynn’s face, I can see some of her arms and she looks to be holding onto him just as tightly.

  “Momma, it’s EJ.”

  Raelynn whirls around. “Oh, thank goodness!” Why does she look so relieved? Doesn’t she realize I caught her red-handed? I’m not sure what exactly I caught her doing, but it feels like I caught her. She takes the phone from Jackson. “Someone broke into the house, Elias. They were here when we got home.”

  Her lips move, but my entire world stops. They were in danger? “Is Bree okay?” I blurt out, interrupting her.

  “Yes. We’re all fine.” She repeats what happened, that they ran soon after she walked into the kitchen door from the garage. That the police arrived right after. They found the guys before they could escape in their car. Nothing was taken from the house, but some repairs need to be made to my front door. “I didn’t want to stay alone, so I asked Henry to come over,” she further explains. “He’s sleeping in my room, so I’ll be taking over yours.” She gives me a little smile.

  “That’s fine.” But a new uneasiness settles over me. I’m glad Henry is there, especially if it makes her feel safer, but I should be the one there with her. And there’s something about them being together now that bothers me. I can’t put my finger on it just yet. “Can I see Bree?” I ask because I honestly want to see for myself that my princess is unharmed and asleep in her crib, but I also want her away from Henry for a few minutes.

  “Of course.” To Jackson, she says, “Come on, baby. It’s way past your bedtime too. Your dad will tuck you in while EJ checks in on Bree.” Nothing else is said to me until she’s in Bree’s room. “I wish you were here, Elias,” she whispers as she adjusts the phone so I can see my little princess peacefully sleeping.

  “Me too,” I whisper back.

  “Is it okay if Henry stays until you get back?” She switches the phone back to herself and slips out of the room and into my bedroom. “I don’t want to face being by myself at night just yet, especially until the door is fully fixed. But if you don’t want him here...” Her voice trails off. “I could call Deanna, maybe? I didn’t think about her.” She frowns. “Or any of the other girls.”

  “It’s fine, Raelynn.” Damn it, why does that feel like a lie?

  Her shoulders relax. “I’m glad you called me back. My heart has finally decided to calm down. You—”

  “Rae?”

  Her eyes lift above the screen. “Yeah?”

  What happened to her demanding he stop calling her that? She just gave up.

  “Jackson is scared to sleep alone and,” Raelynn’s face softens, “he doesn’t want me,” Henry finishes quietly.

  “Okay. Bring him in here.” Her eyes fall to mine. “I should go. It’s been a long night and we really need the sleep. Jackson will be exhausted tomorrow as it is. Call me when you can?”

  “I will.”

  She smiles and says goodbye. I listen to my voicemails before going to bed myself. Two were from the alarm company, alerting me of the alarm going off at my house; I should probably also give them Raelynn’s number. The last one is from Raelynn, her voice trembling with fear as she tells me a group of men broke into the house, they are okay, that Henry was on his way, and the police were there with her, and to please call her back.

  How is it that my house was broken into and what wars my mind for attention is the image of Raelynn and Henry hugging?

  Brayden: Want to go running with Collin and me?

  We have the morning off after the game last night and our late flight in, but apparently, those two want to go for a run. I didn’t even know they ran together. Or that Brayden chose to spend his time with anyone. I always thought I sort of forced him to hang with me and he tolerated it because he liked me decently enough.

  I text back that I’m willing and soon meet up with them in front of the hotel. Nothing is said. Brayden looks at me, nods, and takes off in a jog with Collin right behind him. We run in silence. Normally, that would be fine. It would be what I prefer. I dislike it so much today. My thoughts run rampant, swirling and crashing together in my mind.

  Did Raelynn ever get closure with Henry?

  Does she have any feelings at all for him?

  Should she have the chance to make it work with Jackson’s father?

  That stupid image of their hug sears into my mind, plastering itself front and center. Henry didn’t concern me before, but now, I wonder what his feelings may be for Raelynn. She could’ve called anyone. Deanna, Sydney, Meredith, or any number of the women, but her only thought was to call Henry.

  “What the fuck is the matter with you?”

  I look at Brayden. “Nothing. Why?”

  “Nothing? You keep huffing. What’s the fucking problem, EJ?” We slow to a stop and he stares at me with his hands on his hips.

&nbs
p; My eyes flick to Collin for a moment and then I lie about the problem. “My house was broken into last night.”

  The irritation slides off of Brayden’s face immediately. “Damn. Raelynn and the kids weren’t home, were they?”

  I nod. “Seems like they broke in right before they got home and they ran out soon after they came in the door.” I skip over the details with the police and jump to the next important part. “Raelynn called her ex to come over and spend the night so she wouldn’t be alone.”

  “So what?” Collin asks. “She was probably scared.”

  “He’s jealous,” Brayden tells him with a bit of a laugh.

  Collin frowns. “Of Henry? That’s her ex, right?”

  “I’m not jealous of Henry,” I snap, but my response comes too late for them to believe me, though it’s true. “I just...” My voice trails off as I try to figure out what I want to say. “We got together before she got on semi-good terms with Henry; what if one or both of them wants to try to make it work as a family for Jackson?”

  That’s not an outrageous idea. People stay in relationships all the time because they want to repair and improve it to keep the family together for the children. The family as a single unit is important enough that they want to deal with the bad until they hopefully reach the good. They prefer the usual family unit compared to other versions. What if Raelynn is like that? She hasn’t mentioned it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Raelynn keeps things to herself sometimes.

  “You don’t think she’d tell you?” Collin asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  Brayden watches me for a moment and then shakes his head. “You need to keep running, and this time, don’t think about your woman. You can do that when you get home and see her after she’s spent all this time with her ex.”

  I groan again, but follow after him since he’s running again. This is just what I need, to think about Raelynn spending all her free time with Henry until I come home. But I follow my captain’s advice and shut it down. Compartmentalization is easy for me. What I need to focus on is the game ahead and that’s just what I do.

  Later that night, I focus on pumping my legs as I skate down the ice to chase the puck and a player on a breakaway. He’s about three seconds ahead of me. I reach out with my stick as he takes a shot, but it’s useless. Savage is ready for him, though. He squares him up, but constantly adjusts, always watchful, and when that puck sails in the air, he lifts his body to block it. The puck deflects off his shoulder and lands on the ice behind the net.

  I get to the puck first and send it along the boards to Bruiser before getting off the ice as my shift ends and a new guy, Luukas Lathi, takes my place. Aaron Peters was traded and Luukas Lathi came in his place. He’s nice enough so far. He seems to easily fit in right off the bat on the ice. How do I know this?

  Because I watch him make a pass to Tommy Boy without even looking and the puck hits his stick like there’s some magnetic force snapping it to the blade. With the puck now in his possession, Tommy makes a U-turn to haul ass down the ice, weaving around the traffic of people in his way. The goalie skates out to the top of the blue paint, but he ends up falling to his knees during Tommy’s quick approach and Tommy shoots high to score the first goal of the game.

  “Yeah, Tommy Boy!” someone shouts from next to me.

  Everyone stands to fist bump him and the other guys on the line as they skate by the bench. The rest of the game is a constant battle for possession, of skating from zone to zone, or absorbing hits and dishing out just as much contact. Savage stands on his head, making save after save, but their goalie does the same thing, not letting another mistake happen to allow the puck to get past him.

  Tommy Boy’s goal ends up being the lone goal of the game.

  When we make it back to the hotel for the night, I think about calling home, but something stops me. I know they’re okay because Raelynn texted pictures of Bree throughout the day, up until two hours ago. I stare at her name on the screen before putting the screen to sleep and setting it aside. I’ll see her tomorrow.

  When I park in the garage, I sit in my car for just a moment before forcing myself to get out and walk to the door that will open into the kitchen. Nerves knot my stomach and I hate it. I feel like a wuss. I open the door and sitting at the kitchen table is Raelynn. She quickly closes her laptop, picks Bree up from her highchair, and walks toward me with my princess on her hip and a big smile on her face.

  “You’re home,” she breathes.

  I drop my bags and her arm is around my neck a second later. I hold her close, smiling as Bree says, “DaDa!”

  “Where’s Jackson?” I ask as we both pull away to look at one another.

  “With Henry. They went out for lunch and to buy Jackson a new jacket. I wanted to be here when you came home, so I stayed behind,” she explains. She lifts onto her tiptoes to kiss me. “I’m glad you’re back, Elias,” she adds as I take Bree from her.

  “Me too,” I half-lie. She shows me the damage to the front door, but before we can sit down, I blurt out, “Can we talk?”

  Her smile disappears and her body tenses, but she nods. We move into the living room and sit on the couch. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her and Henry, and I’m not entirely sure what I’ll say, but my gut says this needs to come off my chest sooner rather than later. Raelynn watches me expectantly, waiting for me to start the conversation I obviously wanted to have.

  “Did you ever get closure with Henry?” is the question that glides out of my mouth. “When he came back and you talked?”

  Raelynn frowns with confusion. “You want to talk about Henry?”

  “Sort of. So, did you?”

  Her mouth opens, but no sound comes out at first. “I guess,” she says weakly. “I’m not hung up on him, if that’s what you’re after. We parted ways when I left home. Did I think about him some? Sure, while I was still pregnant and for maybe two months after Jackson was born. I knew Henry wouldn’t be a part of my future, so I left all of my past behind.”

  Okay, but... “Then he came back. He is in your life when you didn’t think he would be,” I point out. Bree leans against my chest, content with simply being held.

  “I don’t understand why we’re talking about this, Elias.”

  “I’ve been wondering if maybe you would want to talk with Henry more.”

  “About what?” she interrupts.

  “About what happened. About any possible feelings.” Raelynn stands and stares down at me with her hands propped on her hips as I continue, “About whether you’d want to make it work as family.”

  “Is this your way of breaking up with me?” Before I can answer, her outrage doubles and she points at me. “You! Who had to go and tell my son we were dating! Are you kidding me, Elias? Where is this even coming from?”

  “I’m not breaking up with you,” I cut in before she can continue on her rant.

  “It sure sounds like it!” She throws her hands up. “You’re pushing me on Henry, Elias.” For a moment, she looks completely baffled. “What the hell?”

  The front door opens and Jackson runs into the living room. “Momma! Look! I have a Carolina Rebels hoodie!” He tugs on the new hoodie he wears.

  “Awesome, Jackson.” He turns to show me and she says to Henry, “Did you get him an actual jacket too?”

  “Yeah. He really wanted the hoodie, though, so we splurged.”

  To me, she says, “Can I have the rest of the day off?”

  “Um, yeah. Sure.”

  She walks off, up the stairs, and a moment later, returns. “Come on, Jackson. Henry, I’ll walk you out. See you later, Elias.” They walk out of the house.

  Immediately, and for the first time, I feel like my gut was wrong and it betrayed me.

  “Rae, is everything okay?” Henry asks as we walk into the garage.

  “Fine.” This world expanding business is not for me. What kind of boyfriend asks me out of the blue if I want to get with my ex? Tha
t’s basically what just happened. And not just any ex, but Henry!

  He gently grabs my elbow as I open the back door of my car for Jackson. “Rae.” I thought that word lost its meaning for me since he’s been around, but hearing it right now causes all the hurt from the past to resurface on top of my confusion caused by my conversation with Elias and I want to curl up in my bed and cry.

  Instead, I motion for Jackson to get in since he’s watching us closely. “I just want us to get out of the house, Henry,” I say as I lean in to buckle Jackson in.

  “What are y’all going to do?”

  “I don’t know,” I say with a huff and annoyance bleeding through my tone as I stand upright and close Jackson’s door. All I want right now is to get far, far away from this house. I wish I’d grabbed my laptop, but no way am I walking back in there now.

  “You’re upset,” he whispers. My shoulders sag. If Henry can tell, then Jackson can too. “Can I come with you? Drive y’all wherever you want to go?”

  I don’t have it in me to argue with him, so I hand over my keys. Soon, he’s backing out of the driveway and driving to an unknown destination, if he even has one in mind. Henry takes us to a fast food restaurant.

  “What are we doing here?” I ask. They had lunch not too long ago.

  “Milkshakes,” he answers simply.

  So, we order milkshakes and take a seat at a booth. Jackson wants to play in their playhouse, of course, but Henry tells him he has to finish his milkshake first. We have small talk, about their day together, about Jackson returning to school soon with Christmas break ending, and about his upcoming skating lessons because Jackson talks about that at least once a day. Jackson seems to finish his milkshake in record time and escapes to the playroom.

  “Want to talk about it?” Henry asks as I eye my son. Luckily, it’s not too busy in there right now.

  “About what?”

  “Whatever caused so much tension to be in the house when Jackson and I got there.”

  Maybe if I handle this now with Henry, I can go home and tell Elias that he is in fact crazy and can stop whatever nonsense he started. “Do you have feelings for me?” I glance over at Henry to find his mouth parted slightly. He stares at me without answering until I nudge him with a, “Well?”