Renegade

by Jeanne McDonald

  This guy was attempting to push my buttons, but there was something familiar about his voice that washed away my anger. And my anxiety. For that matter, it made me want to chuckle. Even laugh. I hadn’t had that urge since the shooting.

  I rolled my eyes and shoved my badge back into my pocket, keeping my weapon trained on him.

  His face and nose wrinkled in what I could only assume was pain. “There’s blood in my eye,” he stated calmly. “I’m lowering my hands to wipe it away. Please know I am not attempting anything more.” Obviously, he’d had his fair share of run ins with the authorities.

  Under normal circumstances I would’ve demanded that he stop, because you never know when a perp is reaching for a weapon, but the tingling down my spine paused my typical response.

  I believed him. Why? I didn’t know. But I did.

  I nodded, giving my consent.

  His movements were slow. Methodical. I watched as he pushed his hoodie back from his face, using the fabric to slowly wipe the blood away from his eye.

  My mouth nearly fell to the ground as his features came into view.

  I took a step back, almost in shock. It was like a ghost from my past stood directly in front of me.

  “It can’t be,” I gasped, almost inaudible to even myself.

  “Would you mind lowering your weapon, Officer? I have no intention of going anywhere.”

  Those intense brown eyes met mine, and it was almost as if he could see straight into my soul.

  “Jude? Is that you?”

  He rubbed the hood over his eye once more, applying some pressure to the wound. “The one and only.” His lips curled into that cocky smirk I’d known in my childhood. “I must say, I’m not at all surprised to find that Lucy Diamond became an officer of the law.”

  That little comment stung. Back in foster care, Jude and Klaus made fun of me for always doing the right thing. Even though I loved Jude back then, it didn’t stop him from picking on my character. I pushed the old feelings aside. “What are you doing in DC?”

  “I could ask the same of you,” he smarted off.

  Typical Jude Wallace. But my how he’d grown up. He’d filled out nicely in all the right places. At his neck, where he’d unzipped his hoodie to wipe his face, I could see his collarbone, well defined, and the shape of his chest, even concealed by the hoodie, was tantalizing.

  I shrugged, holding my gun steady. “Family. School. Job.”

  His face lit up, making my heart beat a little faster. “I always knew you’d be adopted.”

  I shook my head. “No. I was never adopted. After you left, I was taken in by a good man who cared for me until I aged out.”

  “That’s wonderful, Luce.”

  My stomach knotted at the sound of that old nickname rolling off his tongue. I adjusted my hands slightly, feeling the fatigue of holding my gun. “What about you?”

  His shoulders slumped down, and his eyes dropped. “What about me?”

  Good ol’ Jude. Always the evader. “Really? That’s how you’re going to play this?”

  His face shot up, burning brown eyes glared at me. “You’re the one still holding a gun pointing directly at my chest. How else do you think I should respond, Officer Diamond?”

  Of course, he wasn’t going to tell me why he left me all those years ago with that asshole who beat us for sport. No. He and Klaus ran off in the middle of the night, leaving me and the other two kids behind to fend for ourselves. Three weeks after the boys ran away, child protective services collected the remaining three of us, dispersing us into new homes. That’s when I was placed with Michael and life hasn’t been the same for me since.

  Often, late at night, I wondered what happened to Jude. The boy with the chocolate brown eyes who managed to make me smile even in the depths of hell.

  Now, facing him, I could see he’d lived in hell for far too long.

  So much for catching up.

  “You expect me to lower my weapon after you tried to take on a man twice your size?”

  He swiped his hand across his jeans. His cocky expression oozed of pride that he’d taken on the beast and lived to tell the tale. “You gotta give me props for being scrappy, yeah?”

  I bit back the laughter bubbling in my throat. Without lowering my gun, I knelt down in front of him, balancing on the balls of my feet. I pulled a tissue from my pocket, lifting it toward the gash over his eyebrow. He nodded once, giving me permission to assist him.

  “You know, I have to arrest you for assault.”

  He hissed as the tissue came in contact with his forehead. “Now why would you do a thing like that? I’m the one sitting here bleeding when that chicken-shit ran like a little pussy.” He shrugged. “Besides, I saved your life just now.”

  “Is that so?” I chuckled in disbelief.

  “It is.”

  “How so?” I dabbed at the wound, applying a little pressure to stop the bleeding. From the looks of the gash, he would need stitches.

  His eyes closed as he allowed me to tend to his wound. My whole body hummed with recognition of his warmth. Jude was my first. My first love. My first time. My first everything. A first I thought I’d never see again.

  “For starters, that bastard had a gun.”

  “I’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

  He licked his lips, his eyes remaining closed. “Okay, if that’s not enough evidence for you, then imagine if he’d accomplished what he was thinking of doing?”

  “Which was?”

  Jude’s jaw jutted out as he gritted his teeth. “He turned around after noticing you. There’s no telling what that mother fucker had in mind.”

  My arms and legs felt wobbly, not only from holding the gun at ready or from being crouched down beside Jude, but for the mere fact that even after all these years he wanted to rescue me. There was something sweet and almost infuriating about that.

  “All circumstantial,” I noted. “However, there is proof that you attacked a man.”

  Jude’s eyes popped open, meeting mine. Fury lied inside, as he placed his hand over mine. My initial reaction was to rip my hand away, but he stopped me, gripping it tighter. “You know I’m right. You can feel it in your gut. And you should’ve run when I told you to.”

  Those words cut through me. I couldn’t take the intensity of his gaze any longer. I slipped my hand away from his and handed him the tissue. “If what you’re saying is true, you’re an idiot. You could’ve gotten yourself killed.”

  “Possibly, but it would’ve been worth it to keep him from doing what I’m fucking certain he wanted to do.” Jude lowered his hand, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. “Are you going to arrest me now?”

  I should arrest him. I knew I should. He’d assaulted a man right in front of me. Even though I knew I should, I couldn’t. It was Jude. Mind you, I didn’t owe him a thing, but in my heart, I couldn’t bring myself to arrest him on the count that he could’ve been right. Jude always did have a way of knowing a person’s mind by simply looking at them. He had a gut instinct that could easily be trusted.

  I evaluated the gash on his forehead and lowered my firearm, slipping it back into the holster. “No. I’m not this time. But I do think we need to get you to a hospital. You’re going to need stitches.”

  A loud ‘Ha’ burst from Jude’s lips. I jumped at the sound, a startled, questioning expression appearing across my face. “Yeah, I don’t do hospitals. They give me the creeps,” he clarified.

  “You’re willing to take on a giant, but you’re afraid of a hospital?” Not that I blamed him. I wasn’t too keen on them either. We’d both seen our fair share of emergency rooms, for sure.

  “I didn’t say I was afraid. I said I don’t do hospitals,” he stated plainly. “People go to those places to die. I don’t intend to die today.”

  I hooked my thumb over my shoulder. “And you didn’t think he would kill you?”

  “Nope. I had that fucker until you pulled out your gun.”

  Same
old Jude. He really hadn’t changed in the last ten years.

  “You claim you saved my life,” –I took the blood-soaked tissue from his hand and placed it again to the wound on his forehead– “but I’m pretty sure I saved yours.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Jude smarted back. “Whatever you want to believe to help you sleep tonight.”

  If only he knew how much I wish that would actually help me sleep.

  From the opposite end of the pier, I heard my name being called. I glanced over my shoulder to find a solitary man moving toward us. His long gait and tall stature held a sort of sophistication that only a British man could project.

  “Your boyfriend?” Jude asked, his voice a little distorted.

  I shook my head. “No. We just met tonight.”

  “Are you seeing anyone? Married?”

  I applied a little more pressure to the cut. “What’s it to you?” I snapped, a little aggravated that he asked.

  “Just trying to catch up with an old friend.”

  “Oh, so we can share about me, but not you.” I tossed the tissue at him and hopped up. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. I’m not.”

  Jude chuckled. “A little sensitive, are we?”

  I fought back a frustrated scream. Jude always did have a way of making me lose my cool.

  “Is everything okay?” Ian approached us, preventing me from biting Jude’s head off.

  “What do you care, pal?” Jude slipped his hand into mine and hoisted himself up. Instinctively, I used my weight to assist him.

  “You’re bleeding, mate. That is cause for concern.”

  “That’s right. It is. But it’s my concern, not yours.”

  Jude’s behavior irritated me. He had no reason to act like an insolent child.

  “Knock it off, Jude,” I hissed. I wiggled my hand free and nudged him in the ribs. “I can still arrest you for assault, you know.”

  “Assault? Blimey! You know this bloke?” Ian moved toward me, reaching for my hand. I took a step back, placing distance between me and both men. I didn’t like the way they stared at one another as if I were some prize to be won.

  I crossed my arms over my chest, almost as if to protect myself. “Jude and I go way back. I saw him being attacked by someone and came to assist.” I casted a sideways glance at Jude who stared at me and Ian without so much as a flinch of the face. He was cold. Stoic. Unmoved. I knew that expression all too well. It was the face he used to get when our foster dad would come home drunk and take turns using us as piñatas.

  “Yeah. This big motherfucker jumped me. Had it not been for Officer Diamond, I might not be sitting here.”

  My stomach plummeted. I hadn’t told Ian that I was a cop, and I was certain that once Sarah discovered that my cover was blown, she’d be pissed as hell.

  Ian didn’t seem to respond to the news. Instead, he gave Jude a good once over, and said, “Should we call for assistance? You look like you could use some help, mate.”

  “I’m fine, mate,” Jude spat mockingly.

  I pursed my lips, fighting the urge to slug Jude. Ian was trying to be nice, after all. “Jude’s scared of hospitals.”

  “I never said that. I said they give me the creeps. Big difference.”

  “Oh, yes, huge,” I taunted.

  “Whatever. I’ll call Klaus. He’ll get me to a doctor, unless you have any other reason to detain me, Officer.” He wiggled his brows and pursed his lips.

  I ignored his innuendo, surprised by the mention of Klaus. “Wait. You and Klaus are still together?”

  “Not together, together,” Jude mocked. “But yeah. We’re roommates. He’s never going to believe I bumped into you tonight.”

  I chuckled. “Well, I can’t believe he’s still alive.”

  Jude laughed. “He’s had his fair share of close calls.”

  “I’m sure he has.”

  Ian tilted his head, his gaze scrolling between Jude and myself. He almost seemed amused by our discussion.

  “Lucy! Ian!” Sarah’s voice travelled over the sound of the water.

  “Shit!” Jude muttered. “It’s a whole goddamn party of douchey fucktards.” Jude rolled his eyes. “That’s my cue to get the fuck outta here.”

  Jude pushed his way between Ian and me, with no sense of remorse or care. I grabbed him by the back of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks. “You’re lucky tonight. You could’ve been hurt much worse. Be careful next time.”

  Jude glared at me. My breath hitched in my chest at the dark, heady expression on his face. “You’re right. I was lucky tonight. I found you again.”

  I swallowed hard and released his shirt. My whole body felt alive with pulsating energy. After all these years, Jude Wallace still knew how to make my heart skip a beat.

  But he was bad news and I knew it. It was plain to see simply by his appearance. From the ink that played peek-a-boo all over his skin, to the faint scars that covered his hands and face. Jude Wallace was in no way one with the law.

  My gut told me he didn’t just happen upon me at the pier. Nor would this be the last time I saw him.

  Jude was up to something, and I was going to figure it out.

  Jude gave me a quick wink and strolled off into the darkness from whence he came.

  “What did he mean by that?” Ian asked, almost in a whisper.

  All I could do was shake my head.

  “Was he bleeding?” Logan wondered aloud, as the two of them reached us.

  The instant blood was mentioned, Sarah’s party girl persona disappeared. In its place was Officer Canady. “Should we call an ambulance for him?” her voice full of authority.

  Laughter bubbled inside of me. I scratched my forehead and looked into the shadows. I couldn’t see Jude any longer, but I had a strange inkling he wasn’t too far away. “No. I think he’ll be just fine as he is.”

  “Well, then. Let’s get out of here,” Logan suggested.

  Sarah stared into the shadows; her brow furrowed. She sensed something but wouldn’t ask until we were alone. I didn’t look forward to explaining to her what’d happened and how I knew Jude. I had a strange feeling she was about to place him with Sutcliffe’s crew, and for his sake, I really hoped that wasn’t the case.

  “I’m game,” Sarah said, her voice distant as she analyzed the situation. “Lucy?”

  Good. Sarah was giving me the lead. If I said it was okay to leave the scene, she’d do so and continue with our reconnaissance. If I indicated otherwise, she’d put a tail on Jude without so much as a thought to the two men staring at us.

  I pulled my wandering gaze from the darkness and looked up at Ian. In him, I saw all light. An interesting contrast, for sure, from the man I’d let walk away. There was a calmness in his eyes, tranquility that soothed my soul. It was odd to feel such peace when only moments earlier I’d felt fearlessness oozing from Jude.

  Darkness and light. Two different sides of me I’d never considered until this moment.

  “Shall we?” Ian offered, his tone gentle and inviting.

  I smiled, nodding. “Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

  That was enough for Sarah. She took one last glance into the darkness but returned her focus back to Logan without being noticeable.

  Lord help me when I tell her that Jude blew my cover.

  As we headed toward the exit, Ian leaned in so only I could hear him. “Are you sure you’re all right? That git didn’t try to hurt you, did he?”

  I slipped my arm around Ian’s waist. It was an unexpected move for both of us, but Ian didn’t seem to mind. He returned the gesture by placing his arm around my shoulders. “Nah. He’s always been more bark than he is bite.”

  Ian’s brow furrowed. “If you say so. I can’t say I trust the bastard. The way he looked at you, it gave me the shivers.”

  It had me, too, but probably not in the same way Ian was suggesting.

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ve got everything under control.”

  If only that w
ere true.

  “You okay?”

  I stared out the window, allowing the events of the day to roll around inside my brain. Between being released by Dr. Blackbird, George’s funeral, coming face-to-face with my past, and even meeting Ian, I was exhausted. However, for the first time in weeks, I felt almost content.

  For the most part, Sarah remained silent during our drive back to the precinct. She seemed to realize I needed some peace and quiet.

  “If you’re worried about our cover being blown, it’s fine. No harm was done. We were just checking out a tip. Nothing more.”

  “I know and I’m not,” I responded mechanically.

  “Good.”

  Silence fell upon us again. I stared up into the sky, seeing a combination of pale blue and dark brown eyes staring at me. Both men seemed to be fighting for dominance inside my head.

  I barely knew Ian, but in the short time we’d talked, I determined he was a good guy and felt comfortable enough to give him my cellphone number before we parted ways. As for Jude, I knew him. At least I knew the boy. He was cocky, impulsive, stubborn, and above all, loyal. When he made a commitment, he stuck to it. Well, to everyone but me.

  All those old feelings stirred inside me again. He’d abandoned me after telling me he loved me. We made love the night before he left. I saw a future with him. He was the only peace within my nightmarish life.

  Then he and Klaus up and left.

  He didn’t even say goodbye.

  I turned my head, looking away from the stars that shown as bright as his eyes. A million and one times, I’d told myself that he was just a kid. I couldn’t blame him for seeing a chance to get out of that hell hole and taking it. Yet the little girl inside me blamed him every day for it. It didn’t matter that his and Klaus’s disappearance caused our foster dad to be investigated, which led me to finding Michael. No. What mattered was he took my love and treated it like garbage. The fifteen-year-old girl inside me struggled to forgive that.

  “We do need to talk about your friend, though,” Sarah interrupted my thoughts.

  “What about him?”

  Sarah turned into the parking lot of the precinct.

  “I think you know.”