Deep Dark Secrets (The Spiritwalkers Book 1)

by Sarra Cannon

  As far as I knew, she’d never missed a single run all summer. That meant she would have run at least ten miles that Saturday morning before the party. Maybe farther if she knew she was planning to eat junk food at the party.

  And what about the drugs? There was just no arguing the fact that we both had drugs and alcohol in our system that night, but that wasn’t normal for either one of us. Hailey treated her body like a temple. I’d never even seen her take a sip of soda, much less a beer.

  So what had been different about that night?

  I needed more to go on, but I wasn’t even sure where to begin. It wasn’t like I could just go downtown and ask for the police reports.

  Could I?

  I shook my head. Probably not. Besides, if I started asking questions and looking into police reports, that was going to raise too many red flags. My parents would probably send me right back to Longview.

  I didn’t even want to think about the rest of it. The dark figure, the medallion, the symbol. The dial on my lock had spun on its own today.

  The way I saw it, there were only two options. Either something dark and mysterious was happening around here, or I was quickly descending into madness.

  From the beginning, the minute I woke up and found out about the accident, I wondered if I was losing my mind. The images in my memory had felt so real that I couldn’t imagine they were wrong. I had to be crazy.

  But now? That note had given me purpose.

  That note was proof that there was something else going on.

  Still, I needed to be careful. From the outside, anyone watching me would think I was losing my mind, and I couldn’t afford to go back to Longview now. I needed to figure this out on my own, without anyone else getting suspicious.

  I bit the fleshy part of my thumb. Damn. There was no way I was going to be able to investigate this without a car. I couldn’t very well ask my mom to drop me off at all these different places and not expect her to ask me a million questions about what I was doing.

  I hated the idea of driving, but I was going to have to face my fear. I owed Hailey that much.

  I also owed Hailey a trip to see her mother. I’d been thinking about it off and on for the past week since I’d gotten home, but I’d been avoiding it.

  Her mother was already a mess when Hailey was still alive. I couldn’t imagine what she’d been through in the past few months and just how far down she’d gone from where she started.

  And if people were treating me like I had the plague, I imagined they were ten times worse to Mrs. Feldman. It was awkward to talk to a classmate who’d nearly died, but it was impossible to know what to say to a single mom who’d lost her only child.

  Still, I needed to go see her. I’d spent the night at Hailey’s house so many times over the years, I was practically family. And no matter what kind of problems her mom had with drugs and choosing the wrong kind of men, Hailey had loved her and so had I.

  She’d been doing the best she could as a single mom in a town like this.

  It was too late to go over there tonight, but if I could convince Mom to give me my keys back, I could drive over there tomorrow after school.

  I had no idea if Hailey’s mom would have any of the answers I needed, but it was a place to start.

  I cleared off my bed and stuffed almost everything back into my bag. I kept the note out and read over it one more time.

  I ran my fingers across the page, feeling the grooves of the pen on the paper. What would have happened if I’d seen this before she died? Would I have been able to save her?

  I hid the note at the bottom of my jewelry box and walked into the bathroom.

  I’d been avoiding this all day, because I hadn’t wanted to face the truth. But now, I had no choice. I needed to know.

  I stared into the mirror and lifted the side of my shirt up, exposing the sore area just beneath my bra strap. I swallowed, wanting to close my eyes but not able to look away.

  There, in the exact location where the dark snake had bitten me last night in my dreams, were two small, black puncture wounds.

  I let my shirt fall and wrapped my fingers around the silver medallion. I hadn’t been able to save my best friend, but I was determined to find a way to save myself.

  13

  Determined

  I went down to breakfast the next morning with one goal in mind: Convince Mom to give me back my car keys.

  “Good morning,” Dad said.

  “Good morning,” I said, an actual smile on my face this time.

  I stacked my plate with scrambled eggs and fruit and sat down beside my sister at the table.

  “You’re in a good mood this morning.” Mom smiled at me and placed a glass of orange juice in front of me on the table.

  “I am,” I said, and for the first time in a long time, it was the truth.

  Mom and Dad shared the glance I knew was coming, but this time, Dad raised a hopeful eyebrow, and Mom smiled from ear to ear.

  “Did something happen at school yesterday that you want to share with us?” Dad asked.

  I shrugged, stuffing a forkful of eggs into my mouth. I actually had an appetite, which was another change.

  I definitely couldn’t share the news about Hailey’s note with them, because they would never understand it the way I did. They would probably say that it was further proof she’d been on drugs and needed help.

  But for some reason, knowing that I’d been right this whole time gave me an energy I hadn’t felt since I first woke up from that coma. I was terrified and confused, but at least I knew I wasn’t crazy.

  I was determined to figure this out and prove to everyone that they had been wrong about us.

  I looked up and realized they were all staring at me, waiting for some kind of answer other than a shrug.

  “Oh, well, nothing in particular,” I said. “I think just being back in my old routine is making me feel better. Is that so weird?”

  “Not at all,” Mom said, beaming. “You’ve been so isolated the past few months. It makes sense that you would start feeling better once you saw all your friends. Things might still be awkward for a while as you adjust, but before you know it, you’re going to be right back in the swing of things.”

  This was my chance. They were all happy and agreeable.

  “Speaking of getting back into routine,” I said, “I was thinking that I’d really like to try driving to school today.”

  The worried glances returned instantly, but I jumped in before they could protest.

  “I’ve been completely comfortable riding in the car with you,” I said. A lie, but hopefully they didn’t know that. “I appreciate that you’ve been taking time off work to be home and help me get back into things, but you can’t drive us to school and pick us up forever. And there’s really no need when I have a perfectly good car still sitting in the driveway.”

  “Oh, Marayah, I just don’t know,” Mom said. She rubbed her arm. “I think it’s too soon for you to be driving again. You’ve only just gotten home and things are going so well.”

  “Exactly,” I said. “I know I just got home, but it’s been a year since the accident. And I wasn’t even the one driving that night. Besides, Dr. Millner said that the sooner I can get back into my normal routine, the better.”

  “That is true,” Dad said, looking at Mom. “The doctor told us that we needed to give Marayah her space and allow her to make her own decisions about things like this.”

  Mom breathed in and out, worry etched on her forehead.

  Kimi and I looked at each other, and she gave me a subtle thumbs-up and a nod. Apparently, she approved of this plan, but when I’d been thinking about things last night, I hadn't accounted for the fact that I’d have my sister with me in the car every day. I couldn’t very well take her around with me to Hailey’s mom’s house or wherever it was this whole journey was going to take me.

  But I could figure that out later. Right now, I just needed to conquer this first hurdle and get the
keys out of my parents’ grasp.

  “Mom,” I said softly. “I know you just want to make sure I’m safe, but I promise you I’m ready for this. I can handle it.”

  “You’re sure you’re not scared?” she asked. “And you promise you’ll be careful?”

  “I promise,” I said.

  Her shoulders relaxed slightly, and I smiled, because I knew I’d won.

  “Okay, but that doesn’t mean that you can drive around just anywhere you want,” she said. “For now, let’s just give this a trial run. You drive to and from school with your sister in the car. If there’s any trouble at all, you agree to take a break for a while and revisit this later.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  Mom looked to Dad, who stood and crossed the length of the kitchen in a few long strides. He opened a drawer and pulled out the set of spare keys to my Jeep. The dealership’s tag was still attached.

  “Thanks,” I said when he handed them to me. “But where are my keys?”

  “You had them with you the night of the accident, because you’d driven to Hailey’s that afternoon,” Dad said. “You left your car at her place and must have taken the keys with you. We asked about them, but the police said they never recovered them from the river or from Hailey’s car.”

  “Oh,” I said, frowning. It seemed odd that my keys were never found, though. Were they still at the bottom of the river?

  “I really appreciate this,” I said.

  “Just promise us you’ll let us know if you have any anxiety about driving,” Mom said. “You can always come to us if something’s wrong.”

  “I know that, Mom. Thank you,” I said.

  I twirled the keys around my fingers, a million thoughts bouncing around in my brain. Now that I had my freedom back, it was time to start my investigation into Hailey’s death, and I had no idea where that road would lead.

  14

  Something Horrible

  I waited for Kimi in the parking lot after school and tried to decide exactly what I was going to tell her. Mom and Dad had set the rule that I was only allowed to go to school and back, but I needed to go see Hailey’s mom today.

  And I needed to be alone when I did it.

  Should I tell Kimi the truth and trust her to keep her mouth shut? Or should I give some other excuse?

  “How was school?” I asked as she walked up.

  She waved goodbye to her friends and got into the passenger seat of the car. “It was decent,” she said. “I’ve already got a ton of homework, which sucks. How about you? Did you have a good day?”

  “It was boring, which I guess is as good as can be expected,” I said, which was mostly true.

  I’d caught the new guy watching me a few times in the hallway and at lunch, which had made me uneasy and curious at the same time. How was he connected to all of this?

  Since he’d moved to town months after the accident, it didn’t seem likely that he had anything to do with it, but I couldn’t explain the similarities between him and the guy from my dreams. I’d dreamt of him again last night. It was unsettling.

  Once I got done talking to Hailey’s mom, I would start digging into the new guy’s story and see what I could find.

  For now, though, I had to convince Kimi to keep my afternoon plans a secret from our parents.

  I pulled into the driveway at home, and Kimi slipped out of her seatbelt and opened the door, but then she paused and looked at me.

  “You coming in?” she asked.

  I gripped the steering wheel. “Actually, I have somewhere I’d really like to go,” I said. “But I’ll be back in an hour.”

  She dropped her shoulders and stared at me. “You’ve got to be kidding,” she said. “This is your first day with your car back and you’re going to do exactly what you were told not to do? If Mom finds out, it’s going to be months before she lets you have the car again.”

  “How is she going to find out unless you tell her?” I asked, blinking repeatedly.

  “Well, there’s about a million ways,” she said, giving me a stern look. “She could come home early to check on you. You could get a speeding ticket. Someone else could see you and mention it to her. You know how this town is with their rumors and talking about everything everyone else is doing.”

  I couldn’t argue with her there. This town was all about the rumor mill.

  “What’s so important that you have to do it today?” she asked. “Can’t it at least wait a week until Mom has stopped hovering over you and has started to trust you a little bit more? Breaking the rules isn’t like you, Marayah.”

  I sighed. Maybe the old me didn’t like to break the rules, but look where that got me. No one trusted me or believed my story, anyway. If I was going to find the truth, a few rules were going to get broken in the process.

  “It can’t wait,” I said. “I don’t want to go into it, because every second we sit here is another one I could be on the road to do this. I have to be back in two hours to beat Mom home, so I need to get going.”

  “You’re not going to meet up with some boy, right?”

  “No, nosy pants,” I said.

  “Then what is it?” she asked. “You know Mom is searching your room every day for drugs, right?”

  I wanted to scream. Of course she was, because I was a raging drug addict. Obviously.

  “You think I’m going to buy drugs?” I asked. “Please, just go.”

  Kimi’s face fell. I hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings, but she was the one who’d brought up the drugs. Even my own sister believed those lies, which hurt me more than I wanted to admit.

  “Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. This is just something I really need to do. For me. I promise I’ll explain it to you later, okay?”

  “You better,” she said. “And what do I tell Mom if she comes home early, or she calls to check on you?”

  I shrugged. “Just tell her the truth.”

  “If you say so,” she said, finally climbing out of the car. “I’ll see you later. Don’t be late.”

  She slammed the door and as soon as she was inside the house safely, I backed away and drove straight to Hailey’s mom’s house. It only took me about five minutes to get there, and I was relieved to see a car in the driveway.

  Of course, I’d been so determined to get here that I hadn’t had time to actually think about what I was going to say. Now that I was here, though, sadness and fear crept through me like a spider, weaving its web right across my heart.

  Mrs. Feldman wasn’t doing well at all, from the looks of it. Had no one been checking on her?

  The front yard looked as if it hadn’t been mown all summer. The once-beautiful flower beds by the front porch had been taken over by tall weeds, and part of the awning over the door was ripped and hanging down.

  The shades on all the front windows had been pulled down. The trash can under the carport was stacked high with trash bags that spilled out onto the concrete. Even her car was covered in dirt and bugs.

  Nothing here had been taken care of in months.

  Sadness weighed me down as I waded through the knee-high grass to the front door. I rang the doorbell, wondering how long it had been since Hailey’s mom had had a visitor.

  Hailey’s house was nothing like mine, and it wasn’t exactly in the nicest of neighborhoods. It was a simple one-story home with two small bedrooms, a modest kitchen, and a living room. Hailey and her mom had shared the only bathroom in the house.

  It wasn’t fancy, but it had been clean and comfortable when Hailey was still alive.

  It wasn’t hard to see just how rough things had been for her mom since she’d died.

  I rang the doorbell again and tapped my toes anxiously inside my shoes.

  Surely she was home if her car was here, but if she didn’t answer in the next few minutes, I would have to come back some other time. I probably should have called first, anyway.

  But just as I turned to leave, the door creaked open.

/>   “Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it,” she said, but when I turned, she let out a little whimper and brought her hand to her mouth. “Rayah, is that you?” she asked, using Hailey’s nickname for me.

  I nodded. “Hi, Mrs. Feldman,” I said. “I’m sorry I should have called first. I didn’t mean to bother you.”

  She pushed the screen door open and motioned for me to come inside. “Oh, my goodness, Rayah, you are not bothering me one bit,” she said. “Please, come on in. I can’t believe it’s really you.”

  She pulled me into a hug, and I could feel her ribs through the thin dress she wore.

  I stepped inside, and the smell of the place hit me like a truck.

  It was a damp and mildewed kind of smell with something vaguely rotten underneath it all. Dirty clothes covered the floor, topped by old pizza boxes and bags of trash. The lights were dimmed all the way down and the curtains and blinds were all drawn. It felt like a cave in here.

  The only light was from the flicker of the television screen.

  “I’m sorry the place don’t look so good,” she said. “I’ve been working a lot and haven’t had time to get it cleaned up much, but come on back to the kitchen. Do you want something to drink?”

  “Oh, no thank you,” I said. I had to follow a thin pathway through the mess just to get to the kitchen.

  This was much worse than I could have imagined. Watching her mom walk in front of me, her unwashed hair and nearly skeletal frame obvious when she stepped into the light of the hallway, I wanted to cry.

  The kitchen wasn’t much better, but at least the floor wasn’t covered in trash. The dishes, however, were piled high in the sink with days-old food all over them. Beer bottles, cans, and leftover takeout containers littered the countertops. It looked like the place hadn’t been cleaned in weeks, and judging by the smell, maybe much longer.