The End of a Journey

by Grace Thompson

  Her heart was racing as she hurried back home, dashing straight up to her room and closing the curtains as though blotting out the scene she had witnessed. She lay on the bed and her thoughts became even more shocking as she imagined her mother in the arms of another man. That had to be why her father had treated her so badly, there had been malice in the unexplained disappearance of the money. Her previous joking with Greg had become a cruel truth. How could she face her mother, and smile and pretend everything was all right after this?

  She heard her mother come in and waited until she heard her in the bathroom then ran down the stairs and out of the house. She needed to talk to someone, either Greg or Aunty Mabs. It was cold and she needed a thicker coat but grabbed the nearest, a thin waterproof, as she fled. Remembering his shift pattern, she knew Greg wouldn’t be home for hours, so she went to see Aunty Mabs, cycling furiously as though chased by demons. She had to talk to someone or she would burst.

  Mabs took a while to open the door and Zena was so distressed she didn’t notice the sleepy look that suggested the knock on the door had awoken her aunt. Tearfully she told Mabs what she had seen, gabbling in her shock and the haste with which she released her dismay. Mabs put the kettle on, wondering as she did so why making tea was always the first reaction to a problem. Something to do with your hands, she decided, as she gave the tearful girl a cup and saucer to hold. When Zena finally calmed down, she said,

  ‘Your mother and Sam Edwards have been close friends since they were children and I don’t think there’s anything more wonderful than; having a friend who’s lived through your highs and lows without criticism and that’s what Sam is, a good, trusted friend and nothing more.’

  ‘But they looked so – so – happy,’ Zena finished lamely.

  ‘And you think that explains why your father, my brother, did something spiteful and uncaring? I don’t believe that and neither should you. Whatever Sam and your mother feel for each other, I can never accept your father’s cruelty. I thought so for just a moment and I’m still ashamed of my reaction. Something happened but it wasn’t spite or revenge. Your father wasn’t like that. One day we might find out what happened, but until we do, we have to trust your mother and believe her when she says she never did anything to hurt your father. Now, my lovely girl, drink your tea and there’re some cakes on the table, ready for the café, I can spare you one.’

  ‘You didn’t see them, or you’d think the same as me.’

  ‘I don’t need to see them to know Sam wasn’t the reason your father left his money somewhere other than to his family.’

  ‘Then did he lose it gambling?’

  ‘Of course not, Zena, love. Your father wasn’t a gambling man, certainly not with money needed by his family.’

  ‘Stocks and shares? That’s gambling isn’t it?’

  ‘Risking everything? Including the house? That’s even more unbelievable than your mother having an affair with Sam Edwards! Come on, love, we’ll find out what happened eventually, and in the meantime, stop tormenting yourself – and me – with nonsense.’

  ‘When he was dying, Dad mentioned a man’s name several times. Billy Dove. Do you know him?’

  ‘I’ve never heard of a Billy Dove, and neither has your mother,’ she said pointedly. ‘No romance there either.’

  They talked for a while longer but although Zena smiled and told Mabs she was reassured, the memory of the kiss between her mother and the man they had always considered an honorary uncle, remained. How could she face her mother and pretend nothing had happened?

  She had planned to go to the shop before lunch to type a few letters she had promised for the morning but decided to go in early the following day instead. Yet, going home wasn’t going to be easy.

  When she approached the back door she heard laughter and recognized the voice of Greg’s new friend, Susie, and sighed with relief. Having Susie there would give her time to calm down and accept Mab’s explanation of what she had witnessed.

  They were in the kitchen, her mother bending down turning roasting potatoes and Susie sharing tinned fruit and cream between four dishes. ‘Oh, good. I see there’s nothing for me to do,’ she announced, waving at the girl who was licking the serving spoon before dropping it into the washing-up bowl.

  ‘Sorry, Zena, you and I are down for the washing up. I’ve sort of invited myself for lunch. I hope you don’t mind?’

  ‘I couldn’t be more pleased,’ Zena replied, truthfully.

  Sam called later with eggs and some sprouts and leeks. He smiled at Zena, showing her the contents of the bag. ‘Leeks, your favourite.’

  She nodded and looked away.

  Sam went to stand behind where her mother was sitting giving the cutlery an extra shine and placed a hand on her shoulder. Lottie’s hand went up to touch his. When several attempts to talk to Zena achieved no response, Sam asked quietly, ‘Is something wrong? Has something happened that’s worrying you?’

  ‘It’s all right. I can deal with it, Uncle Sam.’

  She went up to her room unable to sit watching for more signs of affection. Aunty Mabs was wrong. Her father must have guessed, as she had. Thank goodness Susie was there to ease the painful embarrassment that she felt every time she looked at her mother. She didn’t go back down until she heard him call and the door close as Sam departed.

  Soon after lunch was eaten there was the sound of a motor bike approaching and a loud knock on the door announced the arrival of Kevin. ‘Come on, Zena, your carriage awaits! Fancy a trip down Gower? There might even be a café open where we can have tea. Or,’ he went on, not awaiting for her agreement, ‘perhaps you can bring a couple of sandwiches? Hi, Mrs Martin, lovely day for a ride, eh? I’ll bring her back before morning,’ he said, with a wink, ‘maybe.’

  Almost bemused by the sudden decision that she hadn’t actually made, she allowed Kevin to fasten her warmest coat around her and add a scarf and a woolly hat, and with hastily packed food tucked into her pockets, they set off with Lottie, Greg and Susie laughing as they waved them off.

  Nervous at first, but reassured as Kevin didn’t overdo the speed, they talked over his shoulder as she clung to him and relished the joyful sensation that was almost like flying, safe behind Kevin, warm apart from the icy cold air on her face. They stopped in the shelter of a barn and ate some of the food they had brought then went back home via a different route. She was sorry when they were back at Llyn Hir.

  He went in with her, helped her to take off the heavy coat and laughed at the rosy glow of her cheeks, telling her she was beautiful, asking Susie and Lottie to agree, then asked, ‘Where’s the tea pot, then?’

  He didn’t stay long, but seemed completely at home, going out to refill the teapot when he wanted a second cup, helping himself to the cakes Lottie had made. He thanked them for their hospitality and promised they’d do it again soon and, as before, they all stood at the door and waved as he left.

  ‘What is the name of that whirlwind?’ Susie asked as they went back indoors.

  ‘That was Kevin, he’s a neighbour of Mr Roberts, who he calls Popeye.’

  Susie looked at her. ‘Don’t expect him to ask you out.’ When Zena frowned, she added with a laugh, ‘He won’t ask, he’ll just tell you! But he’s seems like a lot of fun.’

  ‘He’s kind to Roy Roberts, he and his mother help him when he needs it – and is willing to accept it.’

  ‘I don’t think many want to help him if it’s the Roy Roberts I’m thinking of. He didn’t treat his wife very well and his sons have had no help from him at all – at least, that’s how the story goes, but maybe that’s only the half of it.’

  Zena didn’t know enough to comment so she said nothing.

  When Rose and Jake arrived at Madeleine’s flat one evening, they were told to close their eyes and wait for permission to open them. Amused, they did as they were told. They opened them slowly to see, proudly installed in a corner of the room, a brand new television. The Radio Times was fluttered in
front of them and Madeleine told them they could each choose a programme to watch. In fact they watched everything on offer and the set wasn’t shut down until the programmes ended. They were all laughing with excitement at all they had seen.

  They scoured the pages and marked programmes they wanted to see on other evenings and Madeleine laughed away their promises of not becoming a nuisance. ‘You’re my family and I’ll enjoy everything more with you than being on my own,’ she assured them. ‘Now, what shall we watch tomorrow?’

  It was after Jake had left that Rose told Madeleine that she too felt part of a family, ‘for the first time in my life,’ she added.

  Madeleine coaxed gently and for the first time Rose opened up and told her something about her lonely, sad childhood.

  ‘Is that why you left Greg? Unwilling to talk to him about your childhood?’

  ‘He pestered, insisted on knowing all about me and I hated it. I lied about where I lived and he found out. I couldn’t tell him the worst of it. Then something happened; something so terrible I had to get away, right away. So here I am, with you and Jake as wonderful friends and all memories of Greg and his hateful family with secrets far worse than mine, far away and soon to be forgotten.’ She turned away and Madeleine could see a tear drifting down her cheek.

  ‘Is there anything else you want to talk about? Just between you and me of course.’

  ‘I went back and broke into the stationers shop run by Zena and her mother Lottie, sometimes called Kay.’ She spat out the last word, hating the sound of it. She heard a sound and looked up and realized that Madeleine was stifling laughter, which burst from her as she leaned over and hugged the unhappy girl. ‘What a surprising girl you are, Rose,’ Madeleine said, helpless with laughter. ‘I didn’t dream you had such behaviour in you. Well done!’

  ‘Well done? It was a terrible thing to do – wasn’t it?’

  ‘Not at all. In fact, why don’t we plan something else?’ Madeleine wiped her eyes and slowly calmed her laughing. ‘I don’t know what the Martin family did to deserve your anger, but it’s obvious you need to get revenge, so let’s have a think. Tell me what you did when you went into the shop.’

  Guiltily at first but gradually beginning to enjoy the confession, Rose told her about the money she had taken and the mess she had made of the files. ‘I spent the money on the chocolates I bought for you,’ she added, which made Madeleine laugh louder than before.

  Although Rose guessed it was only a bit of fun, they discussed finding out all they could so that when an opportunity occurred they could plan something to make Rose feel better about whatever she had suffered at the hands of the Martins. Their ideas went from unkind to absolutely crazy and Rose laughed as she hadn’t laughed for years – if ever.

  They brought the conversation around to the Martins whenever Jake was with them and casually found out a lot about the routines of the family including the night café and office supplies and the finances of both. Then Madeleine began to suggest ways of having fun and upsetting the Martins at the same time. She was intensely curious, especially about Lottie sometimes called Kay, who had upset Rose so much. Learning it was Lottie’s nickname only added to the mystery, but knew she had to tread carefully and wait until Rose wanted to divulge more of her story. It was obviously more than an unhappy childhood.

  Greg finished his shift at eleven and went straight to the night café. Susie was working days and they had made no arrangement to meet. He’d decided to tell her about his voluntary night work to avoid misunderstandings about his mysterious disappearances. Susie was becoming too special to risk losing because of trying to keep the café a secret. He opened the door and, as usual, the conversations ceased as all heads turned to see who the new arrival would be. He waved a greeting and set to, washing dishes then starting on a fresh batch of sandwiches.

  Around 2.30 a.m. the three ex-convicts, Will, Albert and George arrived, pleased to tell them they all had a job. They worked as night cleaners in the kitchen and offices of a factory, working from 10 until 2. They were congratulated and Mabs gave them a cup of tea and a cake on the house, showing Greg crossed fingers that it might continue.

  Conversations rose and fell between concentration on the games they played. Greg smiled at Mabs, both happy with the sound of people content with their regular night-time haven, an escape from the loneliness they had once known. Then at five o’clock the door opened and Susie walked in.

  ‘Any chance of a cup of tea for a lonely girl who got the early bus instead of having a lie-in?’ She winked at Mabs, then smiled at Greg. ‘All right, I know I’ll have to earn it! Where’s the washing up?’ Greg hugged her and Mabs smiled and poured the tea. He was aware of a warmth that spread and imbued his whole body with a sense of wellbeing, which he recognized as happiness.

  Susie coming to the café changed things between them. They relaxed, knowing there would be no secrets to jump out and disturb them. He visited her family with the comfortable feeling he was no longer a stranger; and was sure of a welcome. She called without invitation to Llyn Hir and, when she was passing, would pop into Office Supplies for a chat with Lottie or Zena. In a very short time she became a part of the close family involved in the daily arrangements and welcomed by them all. Yet, hidden behind her natural good nature and happy smile a worry lurked, a worry that Greg was still holding a place in his heart for the secretive Rose Conelly. She decided to make a few discreet enquiries.

  She helped in the café for a few hours the following night and, when the café closed and Greg was about to give her the usual kiss on the cheek, she turned her head and their lips met. Their arms around each other, they stood for a moment, each wrapped in their own thoughts, wondering where this would take them. Greg thought of Rose and saw the image of her fading, but not vanishing. It hovered in his mind, a faint, mocking image. Susie was also thinking of Rose and wondering how best to persuade Greg to let dreams of her go.

  Zena continued to enjoy the two branches of her working days. She helped to clean for Roy Roberts and do some shopping for him. She also made him a cake and occasionally a few savouries. Nelda was more a friend than a client, although she still insisted on paying her for her constant and usually futile attempts to keep her home orderly. They went out once a week when Nelda had a babysitter and Nelda continued to bring the girls to visit Llyn Hir. They were promised walks through the wood when the weather allowed and they drew pictures in their books of what they imagined they would see.

  Friends would have described Zena as a happy person. Her life was full, she had friends and work she enjoyed, but now Jake was no longer a part of her life she felt incomplete, as though she were constantly waiting for something. He phoned occasionally and his conversations were full of his job, the places he’d seen and the theatres and films they had attended. It was always they, not I and there was no doubt that all his social activities were with Rose and Madeleine.

  In one letter he told her Madeleine had bought a television and described the wonderful programmes they watched. She found it more and more difficult to add her own news. There was less and less to tell him about the town where he had once lived. There didn’t seem to be anything of interest to say about her own life. A walk through the woods with the ground hard and sparkling with frost? Greg and Sam going fishing and catching a few small cod? How dull it sounded compared with his.

  In a spirit of defiance she wrote a letter, enthusiastic about the walk in the winter woodland, the squirrel she saw searching for food on a cold but sunny afternoon, the wild ducks that flew over morning and evening. She also told him about the growing friendship between Greg and Susie – for whom she was full of praise.

  She sometimes wondered if she should have joined him London, briefly regretting her decision not to, but although life in that fascinating city sounded very exciting, she knew it wouldn’t have been right for her. It was clear that the love she had felt for him had not been honest or strong, it had been habit, and not love at all. Best to let i
t go.

  A reply to her letter came a few days later, just a brief note saying he envied her the walks and the sight of the wild duck, and telling her they were coming for the weekend, staying at the usual lodgings. Rose as well, so perhaps she will talk to Greg this time, he added as a postscript.

  Susie started her enquiries about the Conelly family with her own family. She learned from her parents that Rose was fostered, not adopted, and although she used the name of Conelly, on her sixteenth birthday she was told to leave. She was also told that Mr and Mrs Conelly showed no affection for the girl, criticizing her to everyone for her dullness and her stupidity, and remarking constantly how grateful the girl should have been but was not. Susie felt a growing sympathy for Rose and wondered whether her miserable childhood was the reason for her fearing to show affection or accept it. Being constantly rebuffed as a baby and a child must have made it impossible to think of loving and marrying and all the stages of life that were normal.

  From what she gathered by feeding the gossip – about which she refused to feel guilty – Rose was never hugged and never included in days out or the holidays that her foster parents regularly enjoyed. She had never been given a birthday party nor allowed to attend parties given by others.

  Susie felt great pity for the lonely, emotionally damaged girl, but she couldn’t tell Greg what she had learned. He would accuse her of listening to gossip, which was true, but besides, she couldn’t risk offending him and possibly making him feel again the sympathy for Rose that she herself felt. Such a conversation might drive him to try again to persuade her to open up to him. She went to talk to Mabs.