by Eve Rabi
“Don’t you …”
“A word of caution though, Reed; you’re playing with fire. You wanted me just now. I know that, you know that, and your immediate erection was proof, so … tread carefully. For those few moments, you were as happy as I was. Genuinely happy, in spite of you telling yourself you were doing all this because you had an agenda.”
He stares at me, not bothering to deny it.
“And, I do feel sorry for you. You’re with someone you don’t love. You try so hard to make it work, but you’re failing miserably. You can’t take your eyes off me. Do you pretend you’re inside me when you’re fucking her, Reed? Do you pretend it’s my thighs wrapped around your neck when you’re thrusting away? Do you turn her around, have her in every goddamn position to get maximum enjoyment like you did me? Bet it’s the only way you can get it up for her – pretend it’s me, huh?”
“You’re so full of your –”
“Cos let me tell you – the way you held me, the way you kissed me, the way you pleased me – you dig me. Still heavily in love with me. Deny it if you must, but you will never find the peace you’re seeking.”
He starts to pace. “You’re so full of yourself, Megan, I can’t believe you!”
Seeing his torment, I simmer down and walk toward him. “What do want from me, Reed? What would make you happy? Give you peace?”
He looks at the carpet as he speaks. “I … I want you out of my life. I want to be normal again. I want … I want …”
“Done! Consider me out. If I am causing you so much anguish, then I must leave, cos baby, I love you so much that I don’t want to be the source of your pain and …” A sob escapes me. “Never mind.”
I turn and quickly walk toward the door again, silently vowing to accept that he has moved on. Suddenly, he jerks my arm.
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I … it’s so hard to get past this, Megan. Some days are good, but some days …”
His pain is visible and raw, confirming all the things I accused him of.
In spite of everything, I feel for him. I really do understand, and I really do want him to have peace.
“What I did – it was so wrong, so despicable.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I don’t blame you for hating me after today.”
“I don’t hate you, Reed. I’ve forgiven you for more despicable things in the past. I could never hate you. You’re my Angel-man, remember?”
His grip on my arm tightens.
“But it’s time for me to accept that you have moved on. So, I guess this is it then.” I turn to leave, but he holds onto my arm.
I glance pointedly at my arm.
“I’m sorry, Kitty,” he says and envelopes me in a bear hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
I place a finger on his lips. “Shhh!”
He moves my finger aside. “Don’t move on. I like it when you need me. Makes me feel good in here.” He places my hand on his heart. “It’s crazy I know, but …”
“I do need you, Reed. All the time. I feel safe when you’re around. You’re my protector. I’m scared to face life without you, but I love you and I don’t want to be the source of your pain, so …”
“You bring me pain, equal amounts of joy and pain,” he says and kisses my forehead, then my nose.
I smile.
“That’s what I miss. Your smile – can light up the whole of Iraq.”
I chuckle.
“We’re cool? Huh?”
I nod and hug him, my love for him soaring. “We’re cool.”
“Good.”
We smile at each other. He bends down and kisses my lips softly. I accept his kiss, but when it deepens, I gently push him away.
He pushes me against the wall and feverishly kisses me again. The problem is twofold: I can’t think when his tongue is inside me, and my body seems to have a memory of its own, because it immediately arches toward his.
“Reed, stop!” I moan as his lips caress my neck.
But he silences my protests with more kisses. When he finally lifts his face from mine, I’m at a loss for words. Did he have to stop?
“You want me too,” he says, freeing my ponytail and entwining his fingers through my hair.
“Yes, but what about our convers –”
He swings me around and pushes me onto the bed.
“Reed!” I gasp.
He lifts my blouse over my head.
“Let me go, Reed! This is wrong.”
“No, it’s not,” he says, unhooking my bra and freeing my breasts. “Beautiful!” he moans as he cups them.
“Yes … yes, it is! It makes me feel cheap.”
He smiles and kisses me again, silencing me and sending a tidal wave of erotic sensations down my belly and between my thighs.
“You’re not cheap. You cost me everything. And you’re not worth it. But I want you, no matter what.”
“Well, I’m saying no!” I shove him off and try to roll out from under him.
“I’m saying yes,” he says and pins me back to the bed.
“So what are you going to do – rape me again?”
“No,” he whispers. “The more you reject me, the more I want you.” He slips his fingers inside my panties and smiles. “You do want me,” he says triumphantly as he removes my panties and tosses them aside. “You’re so wet!”
He hurriedly kicks off his pants and lies over me. “Say it,” he says.
I shake my head.
He frames my face with both his hands. “Say it!”
“No!”
“Say it!”
“No …” I croak, fighting the urge to spread my legs.
“Say it, Megan! Don’t fight it. Surrender, baby!”
He is right; I’m never going to win this battle. My body craves him. I need him, if only for a few minutes. As my willpower dissipates, my body arches and sways rhythmically with his.
I reach up and rip his shirt, sending his buttons flying all over the place.
He gasps. “My new shirt!”
“I hated it.”
He grins. “Wild thing.”
With a deep moan, I spread my thighs. “I want you,” I say, and raise my hips unashamedly to his. “Fuck me, baby. Fuck me hard!”
And that’s exactly what he does.
So hard, we have to get on the floor to prevent slamming the headboard against the wall and waking up Wyatt.
Chapter Twenty-Three
We remain on the floor, spent and slick with sweat. Reed grabs a pillow and slides it under my head. Quietly, we lie in each other’s arms, staring at each other as if in a trance. Reed traces the silver stretch marks along my belly, then leans over and kisses them. I smile when I recall a time when Reed told me that he wanted the lot – crying babies and stretch marks. Gently, I take his face in my hands and kiss him lightly.
His ringing phone shatters our tender exchange. We stare at each other for a moment then scamper to get up. Abeeda said she was on her way. In a state of panic, we scramble for our clothing.
“I can’t find my G-string,” I say.
He helps me to look, but we can’t find it.
“Shit!” he curses.
“What is it?”
“No buttons,” he says as he tucks his shirt into his pants.
“I always wanted to do that. Didn’t realize I was so strong.”
He chuckles.
“You look relaxed,” I say as I finish dressing.
“It’s the therapy I just had. Sexual healing.”
“Now I know why you were such a cranky, miserable bastard – you were having withdrawal symptoms. You just needed to get laid. Properly.”
“Damn right about that! What about you? How are you going to explain your afterglow?” he asks, smoothing down my hair.
“I’ll tell them I just had the doctor come over.”
We both laugh.
“You have sex hair,” he says when my hair refuses to lie flat.
Forgetting about Abeeda, w
e hug and kiss again, both of us reluctant to end this rendezvous.
Suddenly, we hear loud knocking.
“Answer it!” I whisper as the knocking grows louder. “It’s Abeeda.”
“Can’t be,” he says. “She has keys.”
The knocking persists.
“Go!” I say and shove him forward. “Maybe she left them behind. I’ll wait here.”
Reed lets Abeeda in while I straighten up.
“I left my keys behind,” Abeeda says and walks straight to the bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” she asks.
I shrug, my face turning crimson. I realize she may have spotted my car in the parking lot on her way up. Her breathing becomes labored as she takes in the ruffled bed, the floor strewn with sheets and pillows, the wine glasses on the headboard, and most of all, our red faces.
Fumbling like an idiot, Reed picks up the linen from the floor and throws it on the bed. As he does, my missing G-string becomes airborne. We gape at each other in horror. Luckily, at that moment, Abeeda turns to me and misses that.
I wait for Abeeda to storm out, to threaten to kill me, to threaten to kill Reed, to end their relationship.
“It’s late,” is all she says. “You should be going.”
That’s it? Wow, she sure has control.
“Eh, yeah,” I say.
My meek response brings a frown to her face. From the corner of my eye, I see Reed grab my G-string and stick it into his pocket.
“Is that the shirt I bought you?” she asks Reed. “What happened to the buttons?”
“Eh … I eh …” He finally just gives a defeated shrug. Busted.
I slip on my shoes, grab my bag, and head for the door.
“Wine glasses in the bedroom? You drinking again? You said you wouldn’t anymore.”
Fuck! She sounds like his mother.
I walk out of the bedroom and gather my stuff to leave. “So, what time tomorrow?” I mumble.
“What time?” Reed still appears dazed.
“What time should I pick up Wyatt tomorrow?”
Now that makes Abeeda lose her cool. She spins around to look at me. “It’s Saturday!” she barks. “You don’t have Wyatt on Saturdays!” She whirls around to Reed. “We are taking Wyatt to the dolphin show tomorrow, remember?”
“Eh …”
“Reedwan!” Abeeda snaps.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” he says.
While they’re arguing, I walk to the door. Reed rushes to open it for me, pissing off Abeeda even further. Smiling, I step out of the apartment and turn around to look at Reed, who, by now, has deliberately blocked the entrance with his body, affording us some privacy to share a knowing look or a secret smile, both of which we do.
“You’re still amazing in the sack,” I mouth.
He beams. “I’ll walk you to the car,” he says.
“Okay,” I say, pleased that he wants to.
“I’ll be back in a second,” he calls over his shoulder and shuts the door.
“Reedwan!” Abeeda shouts through the door. “Reedwan!”
Outside, we look at each other. “Run!” I whisper.
He grabs my hand and we bolt toward my car. When we pass a private side of the stairwell, Reed pushes me against the wall and kisses me.
I laugh and kiss him back, pressing my hips against his.
“You have no panties on,” he says.
“And you have another erection,” I giggle as I grind my hips against his. “Where are they?”
“Here.” He fishes them out of his pocket and hands them to me.
“How amazing, did you say?” he demands between kisses.
“Very!”
We eventually make it to my car and we share a lusty kiss before I drive off. My grin grows wider as I think of our explosive matinee sex on the bedroom floor. Explosive and unprotected sex. How irresponsible!
Well, I was far too easy. Should have made him wait a little. He’s cheating on the girl he’s marrying. But, as I remember his intrusive kisses, his wandering hands on my breasts and between my thighs, his body weight on mine –my body trembles. Aftershock, I guess.
Take that, Abeeda! I fucked your boyfriend on the bedroom floor and it was sheer ecstasy. And I will do it again. Count on it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
To my delight, Reed skips work or sometimes goes late to work so he can see me, and we almost always make love. As is with affairs – the sex is frenzied, incredible, and always like the first time, probably because of the illicitness of it.
These days, he’s smiling a lot and I’m simply glowing.
Even Damien notices. “You look different,” he says, as he peers at me. “A lot more relaxed.”
“Eh … the … new organic facial,” I mutter. “For radiance.”
“Good, now go easy on the carbs. You’re putting on weight.”
Along with my newfound happiness comes the return of my appetite, so yes, I am putting on weight. I drink wine with Reed, I share pizza and pasta with him, and I love it.
Abeeda, on the other hand, is going nuts, slowly but surely. She constantly whines and sulks and is so miserable these days that if I were a guy, I probably would find her a pain in the ass.
She’s insecure and paranoid. The moment she enters the apartment, she inspects it for … clues, I guess. No longer is she calm and in control. She shrieks and whines and nags for nothing, and is always sour-faced.
Me, on the other hand, I’m happy, bouncy, and contented. I’m less bothered with the pregnancy kit stashed in the medicine cupboard these days. But just to make sure, I check the cupboard every day and to my relief, it’s still unopened. That adds to my happiness, and I’m floating on all clouds, not just cloud nine.
***
Damien and I are at a business lunch with Dex discussing my upcoming fashion shoots. The meeting drags on, to my dismay. Then, when Dex hurriedly leaves, Damien and I finish our food in silence. Suddenly, Damien leans over and kisses me on the lips.
“What the hell …?”
He looks past me, so I follow his eyes. It leads me to Reed. Next to him is Abeeda, hanging on to one of his arms as he carries Wyatt in the other. Reed’s face is stony, while Abeeda looks like she’s suddenly in possession of a lottery green card.
Mortified that Reed saw Damien kiss me in what looks like an intimate setting, I quickly turn my face away. When I look back, I lock eyes with Reed and he glares at me.
“Why the long face?” Damien says. “You’re not seeing that fucker again, are you? Are you?”
“Can’t you see he’s with someone else?” I snap.
Damien grins. “Bitter, are we?” He turns and looks at them. Abeeda is lovingly stroking Reed’s hair. Wyatt has not noticed me yet.
“You’re right, he’s with her. Quite a looker too. Got over you very quickly, goosey.”
“Would you stop calling me that fucking name?” I mutter before I can’t stop myself.
Instead of getting mad, he guffaws so loud, everyone in the restaurant turns to look at him.
Twelve to twenty for murder? I can manage that.
When I see Reed get up and stride out of the restaurant, I just know he’s fuming. Abeeda follows with Wyatt in her arms, her smirk brighter than ever.
Suddenly, Wyatt spots me. “Mama,” he cries, and holds out his hands toward me.
I start to stand up.
“Don’t even think about it!”
“Please!” I beg. “I’ll just be …”
The warning look on his face shuts me up. Slowly, I sink back into my chair, my heart heavy. Abeeda walks out of the restaurant with Wyatt, but I hear his cries even though the door closes behind them.
For a while, I stare at my plate without touching it. Then, I gulp down the wine in front of me and pour myself more. In a span of fifteen minutes, I finish almost three quarters of the bottle.
Damien looks at me, his lips in a thin line.
“I need more wine,” I say.
He stands up, grips my arm, and steers me out of the restaurant.
“What you need is to be committed,” he says as he drives away.
When next I see Reed, I’m greeted by a cold front.
“Hi, Reed.”
He nods curtly, then walks out of the room. I play with Wyatt for a while, then seek out Reed. We look at each other in silence.
“Please don’t be mad at me, Reed.”
He opens his mouth to speak, then shuts it again.
Abeeda’s presence saves me from a tongue lashing.
For about a week, he ignores me, which hurts.
***
I stare at the magazines on the coffee table and gasp. Pregnant and Perfect. Abeeda sits on the couch with her feet up and sips on a glass of milk as she pages through one of them.
“So much to learn in just nine months,” she says in a sing-song voice.
I run into the bathroom, throw open the cupboard doors, and balk. The pregnancy test kit is gone!
“What are you looking for, Megan?”
I turn around and look into Abeeda’s smirking face. Slowly, she runs her hands over her stomach. Her taunting smile tells me she knew all along that I was watching her pregnancy test kit.
“I … eh …”
“Isn’t it wonderful news?” Abeeda gushes behind me. “Reed is going to be a father again! He’s so thrilled. Can’t wait for our wedding day.”
I step back and lean my trembling body on the side of the bathtub. She really is glowing – her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are sparkling.
“Did you see the tiny white suit we bought for Wyatt? What a cute flower boy he’s going to be.”
We.
Suddenly, Reed barges into the bathroom. He looks at me, then at Abeeda, then at me again.
“Hey!” Even though he’s said just one word, I hear the strain in his voice.
I stare at him for a moment, then push past him and hurry out of the bathroom. I grab my bag and my car keys and storm out of the apartment.
“Megan, wait!” he shouts.
I run faster.
“Megan!”
I fly down the stairs three at a time, but we reach my car at the same time. He grabs me and twirls me around to face him.
“Why are you running like that? What is wrong with you?”