Protecting his Love

by M. J. Perry

  “If I’d given you time to think you would have said no because you think it’s too soon.”

  “It is too soon.” I groaned.

  “No, it isn’t. I’m not having this conversation. I asked you a question, and you gave me your answer, end of story.”

  “You are so bossy.” I snapped.

  “You weren’t complaining about that a minute ago.”

  I blushed and turned my hot cheeks into my pillow. “That was different, I was enjoying it then.”

  “You’ll enjoy living with me. I mean, it won’t be easy, you’ll probably fancy a cookie and open the jar to find it empty sometimes, but you’ll get used to it.”

  I laughed. “That happens all the time now.”

  He shifted so he could cup my face. “Do you want to live with me?”

  “Yes,” I admitted, unable to lie to him.

  “Then what’s the real problem, Lexi?”

  “I don’t want Katie to be confused.”

  “Bullshit. I know when you’re lying remember.”

  “Fine… I’m scared.”

  “What are you scared of baby?”

  “That we are rushing into it and you’ll realise that and think you’ve made a huge mistake and leave me,” I admitted quietly.

  “Lexi, I will never leave you voluntarily, but things happen. I can’t promise you forever, but I will promise to do everything in my power to make sure we have a forever.”

  Tears hit my eyes. “When Julian left it hurt. I felt devastated, but it’s nothing to the pain I would feel if you left me.”

  “Baby, I love you. I always will, you just need to trust me.”

  I swallowed. “I do trust you; I want to trust in us… I just… I’ll work on it.” I promised.

  “And I’ll work on making you see yourself how I see you because, Lexi, you are unbelievably fucking beautiful in every way.”

  Sniffing, I wiped my cheeks with my hand. “You’re so sweet.”

  “So you keep telling me. We need to go to sleep. I want to sleep with you in my arms as long as I can.”

  “Ok.” I nodded. “Wait a minute, how will we tell Katie about you moving in with us?”

  “We’ll tell her we are getting married.”

  I stared at him in shock. Surely he hadn’t just said that.

  “I’m just joking, but you should see your face.”

  I sighed in relief, “One step at a time please.”

  “We’ll tell her the truth, she will understand. She’s a smart kid.”

  “What is the truth?”

  “That I love her and her mummy very much and I want to live here with you both.”

  “She will love it. So will I.”

  “I will too. I won’t have to sneak around.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You did that once, twice if you count tonight.”

  “I know and I hated it.”

  “I’d like to wake up in your arms.”

  “I’d like to wake you up in my arms.” He winked.

  “I look forward to it, but maybe not this morning because you’ve tired me out.” I reminded him while trying to stifle a yawn.

  “You wouldn’t be complaining after I kissed you.”

  “Probably not, but let’s not test it. I need sleep.”

  “We both do baby. Sweet dreams, Lexi.” His lips brushed against my brow.

  “Night, Ryder,” I said quietly as I pushed my body into his. I lay my head on his arm feeling snug and warm, I closed my eyes.

  ****

  “Katie, Daddy is coming over to see you today,” I told her as I poured some more coffee into my cup.

  “Is he really coming?” she asked in excitement.

  “Yes, baby but afterwards Mummy and Daddy need to talk so Aunty Jen and Eric are going to take you out for lunch. Is that ok?”

  “Can I have ice-cream?”

  “Aunty Jen always lets you have ice cream.”

  “She loves ice-cream like I do.”

  “Maybe even more than you do.”

  “No one loves it more than me.” She giggled.

  I smiled. She was so cute. I often wonder how Julian and I had managed to make such a little cutie pie. Thinking of Julian had me sighing. He’d been pleasant on the phone when I’d called him earlier, but I knew he hadn’t been pleased. I’d sensed his anger. I would have been worried if not for Ryder being with me. Talking of Ryder I wondered where he was. He’d said he was popping to see Eric, but that was over half an hour ago. Worry formed a lump in my throat. Why would he be so long? I got up to take my cup to the sink and nearly dropped it in surprise when a man appeared in my window. I didn’t know him. He grinned, and I shivered in revulsion. I saw another man stalk up behind him, this one I would know in the dark. Ryder grabbed the unknown man in a choke hold. I wanted to go to him, to make sure he was Ok, but he was a grown man able to look after himself. Katie, however, was in the other room and oblivious to what was going on. I needed her to stay that way.

  “What’s wrong, Mummy?” She asked as I walked in the room.

  “Nothing, baby. Why don’t we go upstairs and get dressed ready for your daddy?”

  I cringed at the thought. It was his fault this was happening. Gripping Katie’s hand I almost dragged her towards the stairs. “Race you.” I dared her. She looked at me funny and I knew it was because I never let her run up them in case she tripped, but I pasted a smile on my face. “Just this once,” I grinned. She didn’t hesitate a second longer running up them quickly, I followed behind her. I trusted Ryder to keep us safe I just didn’t want Katie to see the evidence of it. Katie reached her bedroom first and went straight to her wardrobe. “I want to wear this Mummy. Please.” She said as she pulled her pink trousers out along with her different shade of pink top and her yellow tutu.

  “Oh baby, it’s very bright.” I laughed.

  “I like bright.”

  “Me too, come on, bring them to my room and you can choose my clothes.”

  She jumped up and down squealing. “You have to wear something pretty for Ryder.”

  Rolling my eyes at her words that sounded exactly like something Jen would say I chased after my daughter. She held out a yellow dress, and I went to shake my head to say I couldn’t wear it, but she looked so excited and I couldn’t do it.

  “Ok, I’ll wear it, but I need a cardigan.”

  “Your pink one?”

  Yellow and pink just like Katie wore. “Ok sweetie, today we will match.”

  She took my hand and pulled me towards the bathroom. I shook my head. “We can get dressed out here now.”

  “Race you.” She laughed.

  She usually did a pretty good job of dressing herself. I watched as she dragged her pyjamas off and I did the same. Once we were both dressed, we stood side by side in my floor length mirror staring at our reflection. I didn’t have any words to describe us.

  “We look pretty, Mummy.”

  “Yes, baby, pretty. We need to brush our teeth and then well go back downstairs.”

  “Ok.”

  I hoped that whatever had gone down was now over. I looked at my watch and saw we had an hour before Julian arrived. I didn’t want him here, but I couldn’t disappoint Katie. She was so excited to see him. I heard the front door bang and peaked out my bedroom door and down the stairs to see Ryder standing there. My eyes wandered over him taking in his messy hair and torn t-shirt. He didn’t smile when I caught his eyes only nodded at my look of concern.

  “Where’s Katie?”

  “I’m here.” She answered for me. She started to run down the stairs but sensed Ryder’s mood. “Are you Ok, Ryder?” Her voice sounded funny.

  “Baby, I’m absolutely fine.”

  “Why do you have blood on your hand?”

  She had great eyesight, even I hadn’t noticed that. I frowned.

  “I bumped my hand when I walked home.” He said, and she nodded.

  “You’re clumsy like my mummy.”

  “Yep, squirt, I am
.”

  Katie seemed happy at that and bounced down the stairs. I bit my lip as she threw herself into Ryder’s arms. He grunted which told me he was hurt. His eyes met mine and he shook his head gently, his eyes conveying a message. Not now.

  I wanted to know everything, and I wanted to know right now, but I nodded and headed down towards them. My face tightened. “Julian will be here soon.”

  “I know, I can’t wait to have a chat.” Ryder almost growled.

  Uh, oh, I would not want to be Julian right now. “Who has the package?” I asked and Ryder’s lips tipped up slightly.

  “Eric is delivering it right now to a friend in the force.”

  My shoulders relaxed a little. “Good.”

  “While I’m here, there will be no other unexpected packages.” He reassured me.

  I nodded. “I wasn’t worried.”

  Katie was looking at us both. “Why don’t you go and do some colouring while we wait for your daddy, baby.” She loved colouring and drawing. Her frown dropped, and she took off towards the craft cupboard we had in the kitchen.

  I caught Ryder’s eye, and he moved closer to me pulling me into his arms. “Everything is fine.”

  “Are you?” I asked worriedly.

  “I’m fine, I just have a couple of bruises, but you can rub them better later.”

  “Don’t joke. You could have been hurt.”

  “Lexi, I know how to look after myself. The only reason the guy got a shot at me was that I saw you through the window and got distracted.”

  “I took Katie upstairs when I saw you both.”

  “Smart.”

  “Mummy, I can’t find my pens!” Katie shouted.

  “She can never find them even when they are right in front of her,” I told Ryder. “Coming, baby,”

  Ryder kissed my lips softly and mine clung. I stepped away only for him to pull me back using my hand. I turned to face him with a frown

  “You look like a sweet factory threw up on you.”

  I giggled. “That’s a nice way to describe me.”

  “You still look hot don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never seen you look so bright.”

  “I let Katie choose my clothes.”

  “That explains it then.”

  “Mummy, I really want to colour,” Katie called again and this time I could hear her impatience.

  Ryder and I walked hand in hand and when he got a look at Katie, he laughed loudly. “How did I miss that before?”

  “I think you were a little preoccupied.” I reminded him and immediately wished I hadn’t. His face went like stone and it wasn’t a look I was used to seeing on his handsome face. I saw his shoulders lift with a deep breath and then his face relaxed.

  “Coffee, Lexi?”

  “Of course,” I screwed my face up. Did he not know me at all?

  He shook his head and winked. It broke the tension. I opened the craft cupboard and found the pens Katie couldn’t. “Here baby.” I said as I put them on the table in front of her.

  “Thank you, Mummy.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She bent over her paper after choosing a colour and her little tongue came out in concentration. I left her to it and went in search of Ryder and my coffee. Questions filled my mind, but I pushed them away. He would tell me later. I couldn’t chance Katie overhearing, and besides, Julian would be here soon. Ryder had a cup in both hands when I walked in.

  “Here you go.” He said.

  I took the offered cup and brought it to my lips, sighing in delight. “It tastes like Christmas.”

  “Christmas?” His eyebrows crinkled. “I used nutmeg.”

  “Wow, I’ve never thought to use it.”

  “We’ll keep it our little secret, we wouldn’t want anyone else getting to taste Christmas.”

  “I solemnly promise,” With my hand on my heart, I laughed.

  “Here’s the plan,” he said as he looked at his watch and his face lost its amusement. “We’ll let Julian see Katie for half an hour then Jen is coming to take her out.”

  “Ok, I’ll text Jen.”

  “No need. She was at mine with Eric earlier.”

  “Oh, really,” I grinned despite the seriousness of the situation.

  He shook his head. “You’ll have to ask them what’s going on because I have no clue.”

  “Don’t worry; I’m going to be doing that as soon as I get the chance.”

  “I don’t doubt you will.”

  “She grills me,” I muttered.

  “You’re both as bad as each other.”

  “Yes, but I’m not going to apologise for it.”

  “I don’t expect you too but don’t complain when she asks you a million questions.”

  I headed back to Katie with a grin. Ryder followed and sat down beside her. I leaned over to see what she had drawn.

  “What’s that Katie?”

  “An Antipede,”

  “A what?” I frowned, catching Ryder’s eye.

  “An Antipede, Mummy,” She repeated while giving me a look that clearly said I was being dumb for not knowing. What the hell was an Antipede?

  “Katie?” Ryder said smiling at her. “Do you mean a Centipede?”

  She looked up and grinned. “Yes, that’s what I said.”

  I opened my mouth to disagree but laughed instead. Ryder covered his face with his hands, but his shoulders were shaking with humour. My girl was silly sometimes. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t make me laugh.

  The doorbell chimed, and I tensed.

  “Daddy,” Katie said full of excitement. She jumped up and ran to the door, I chased after her but Ryder was faster, he beat us there and opened the door to greet Julian. No words were exchanged between them, Julian’s expression was calm and I figured it was for Katie’s benefit as his body language screamed hostile. Katie ran straight to his arms and Julian’s eyes softened as he got a look at her. He loved her that was clear and even though I could kill him for using our daughter as a shield I honestly didn’t think he would put her in harm’s way on purpose.

  “Julian,” I greeted politely. “Katie, baby, why don’t you go and show your daddy your Centipede?”

  I ushered her gently towards the kitchen and Julian followed her, listening to her chatter as they went. Ryder looked thoughtful. I looked up in question and he shrugged. “I can’t imagine him putting her in danger.”

  “I had the same thought,” I admitted. “He has no idea what he’s got himself into.”

  “Nope, it means he’s a dumbass, but it also means he isn’t aware of his debt being sold. There’s no way he’d place Katie in danger.”

  “I know. I can see how much he loves her. He thought he was using her as a shield. It doesn’t make it right, but I don’t hate him as much as I did.” I said.

  “Hopefully we can help before things get worse.” I shivered as I remembered the man at my window. “They’ve already got worse haven’t they?”

  “I’m afraid so, Julian can help us, we need to work out what Jacobson wants and fast. There is no way he would let anyone run up more debt when they owe thousands already without an ulterior motive.”

  “Surely he just wants to make money? The more Julian borrows the more he has to pay back right?”

  “Julian has no chance of paying what he owed in the first place.”

  “Oh.”

  “I can’t wait to grill him.”

  I bit my lip. “Eric is going with Katie and Jen isn’t he?”

  “Yes, Eric won’t let anything happen to either of them.”

  Chapter Eight

  Ryder

  “You know don’t you?” Julian asked with a frown.

  “Know what exactly?” I’d already decided to play it dumb. Julian had no idea what I did for a living.

  He seemed to shrink before my eyes and I waited impatiently for the confession he was about to make. I wanted it all over and him away from the house, and my girls.

  “I owe mon
ey to some people.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Some people?”

  “Ok, loan sharks.”

  “How much?” I asked him. I wanted to know if he even knew himself.

  “It started off at ten grand but…” he swallowed. “I’m not sure how much it is now.”

  Lexi gasped. “Why would you borrow so much?”

  “You wouldn’t understand. You have money, more than enough to live like a queen if you wanted to.”

  I scoffed. “I know the reason. You threw Lexi over for a woman with a shopping problem, I think the word is shopaholic.”

  “I don’t understand. You both work and earn good money.” Lexi said.

  “Tammy likes nice things. She deserves nice things.”

  “You are seriously deluded. You have to live within your means. She’s over spent, got you into debt and made you borrow from a questionable man, but it sounds like you’re Ok with it.” It pissed me off. He didn’t even sound sorry for what he’d done. He’d put everyone in danger for handbags!

  “I’ll pay it back.”

  “By gambling at Casino, Casino? Fuck, are you so stupid?”

  Julian stood up. “Sit down.” I barked. No way was he leaving yet. He surprisingly did as I ordered. “You owe money to Jacobson.”

  “No, that’s not the guy I borrowed money off.”

  “You’re right, it isn’t. Jacobson bought your debt. I can only imagine it’s because he wants something from you.”

  He looked shocked. “If he’s bought my debt, that means that…” he trailed off.

  “Means what?” I snapped. I wanted to hear him acknowledge his fuck up.

  He paled. “Katie’s in danger.” He whispered. “I’ve put my baby in danger.”

  “She was always in danger, but now it’s serious. Jacobson owns Casino, Casino.”

  He placed his head in his hands. “What have I done?”

  “You’ve fucked up, that’s what you’ve done but I’ll help you sort it out.”

  “How will a nobody like you help me?” He looked down his nose at me, and I shook my head.

  “You can turn that regal shit off for a start; you’re as low as a person can get right now.”

  His cheeks reddened, and I smirked. Hit a nerve did I? Lexi smacked my arm.

  “Ryder works for a detective agency.” She said proudly.