Cruel Grace: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 5)

by Olivia Jaymes

  “I’m going to talk to Detective McCann so that we can tie up any loose ends before we go back home.”

  “I have to call Cagney.”

  The thought had just occurred to her. He didn’t know anything about this. Shit, they’d suspected him of killing Kendra.

  Eli came to sit next to her on the couch, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. She leaned on him, grateful for his calm strength when she could barely make sense of her world.

  “Honey, why don’t you let me make that call?”

  “I need to. You barely know each other.”

  Eli shook his head. “No, you don’t need to. I can tell him. I promise I won’t be an asshole.”

  “I didn’t think you would be,” she protested. “I just…I need to. I don’t know why it’s just something I feel strongly about.”

  “Then I’ll sit right beside you while you do it. I’ll be right here.”

  He had been. Since the moment she’d ended the call with Julian, Eli had been there by her side. She wasn’t sure what she would have done without him.

  Yes, I do. Fallen to the floor crying.

  She reached for the phone again, her fingers curled around the cold plastic, but she couldn’t make herself dial the number.

  “It’s like it’s happening all over again,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “It’s like Kendra just died this morning, and now Thom is gone, too. I’m so angry at him, but I still love him. Isn’t that stupid? I shouldn’t feel this way. He killed Kendra and I’m just so mad. I want to ask him what happened. Why didn’t he tell us? If it was an accident, it would have been okay, right?”

  Eli’s arms tightened around her. “We can love people who do bad things, and still be angry at them for doing those things. Thom was your friend for a long time. It’s normal to feel conflicted about what he did.”

  “He killed Kendra. I have to keep saying it so I can believe it. It’s just not…something I ever thought I would say. He killed her. Why would he do that? They were friends. They liked each other.”

  “We don’t really know what happened, honey,” Eli said, lifting her onto his lap so her head could rest on his shoulder. His arms were warm and safe, and she never wanted to leave them. “We only know what he wrote in that note. They argued and there was an accident. That’s it.”

  He didn’t say it out loud but she could imagine that he was thinking that Thom could be lying about the accident part. Just to make himself look better. Thom had taken the truth with him to his grave. They’d never know what happened that day.

  Now two people were dead, and it was all just so tragic.

  Placing his palm on her cheek, he gently cupped her jaw so she was looking up into his eyes.

  “I know where your head is right now so let me stop you right here. There was no way you could have kept this from happening. There was no way you could have known to be able to stop this. This is about Thom and what he did. He’s solely responsible for what happened. There was nothing you could have done. You have no guilt here.”

  His loving words had more tears falling down her face. How had he known what she was thinking?

  “Do you read minds for a living? How did you know?”

  “Because I’ve been there. Because I lost a lot of sleep wondering if there was something else I could have done for Debra. Trust me when I say, you can drive yourself crazy thinking like that. You could not have stopped this.”

  “And I can’t go back in time to fix it.”

  “No, you can’t. I’m so very sorry.”

  “I know this sounds childish but I wish it had never happened. Isn’t that dumb?”

  “It’s human.”

  She didn’t talk much for awhile. He simply held her while she cried on and off, rocking her gently on his lap as if she were a child, whispering that she was going to be okay, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. He told her that everything was going to be alright. Not immediately but eventually. He kept telling her how strong she was, and how proud of her he was. She wasn’t sure why he would be, but it felt wonderful to hear the words even if she didn’t deserve them.

  “I’m trying to picture what happened,” she finally said. “What they could have argued about that had this sort of outcome. Kendra barely ever raised her voice. Thom wasn’t the type either.”

  “It must have been something that at least one of them was passionate about.”

  “They argued and Kendra ended up dead. I guess…I always thought that the murderer would end up being a stranger. Someone we didn’t know that just saw her that day at the mall. What did Jackson call it? A crime of opportunity? I wanted to believe that she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She sat up, pulling away slightly so she could look into his eyes. “I don’t understand how it all unfolded. My car was found at the mall. Did they argue there? Did Thom meet her there? I don’t get it.”

  “We probably won’t ever really know what went on between Thom and Kendra that day,” Eli said. “Neither one of them is here to tell us about it. But it wouldn’t have been all that difficult for Thom to drive your car to the mall parking lot and leave it there if he met her someplace else.”

  She nodded, resting her head again on his shoulder. A wave of pure exhaustion had come over, making her limbs feel like lead. It was as if now that Kendra’s murder had been solved, her entire being had simply shut down.

  “Honey, why don’t you go lie down for a little while? This has been an emotional morning for you.”

  “I don’t want to lie down. I want to…feel what I feel. That probably doesn’t make any sense.”

  Except that I don’t feel anything. Not yet.

  She had a feeling when it did hit, it was going to be a doozy.

  “It makes perfect sense. But how about I make us a fresh pot of coffee?”

  Her stomach lurched at the thought, but she couldn’t be selfish. Eli probably desperately wanted more coffee so she nodded and slid off his lap. He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead and levered up from the sofa, heading into the kitchen.

  Jackson had delicately retreated to his room to give them more privacy. He hadn’t needed to but she made a mental note to thank him. From what she’d seen, he was truly a good man. A man who knew how to read the room. A rare quality in a human being.

  Reaching for the remote on the end table, she turned the television on, wanting a background noise of some sort to fill in the deafening silence. She settled on a cooking show, the happy host cooking chicken on an outdoor grill.

  “Here’s a fresh cup of coffee.”

  Eli set the steaming mug next to her before returning to his place on the couch.

  “I think I want to go home.”

  She hadn’t planned the words that came out of her mouth, hadn’t even known they were waiting there on the tip of her tongue. But once she’d said them, she knew they were true.

  I do want to go home. There’s nothing left for me here.

  Eli’s cup had been halfway to his mouth when she’d made her announcement. He didn’t take a drink, instead placing it on the coffee table in front of him.

  “You want to go home?”

  “Yes, I think we should. Do the police need us for anything?”

  “I doubt it, but I would like to quickly see Detective McCann before we leave. Just a few minutes. I usually do before I leave a town when the case is closed.”

  Closed. The case was closed now. No more wondering.

  I get to wonder what happened that day between Thom and Kendra instead.

  “I’d like to say goodbye to Julian as well.”

  Eli nodded, but he looked like he had more to say.

  “I’m sure there will be some sort of service for Thom.”

  “I’m sure there will be,” she agreed. “He had a lot of friends in this town, and his parents only live a few hours from here.”

  “If you wanted to attend—“

  “Stop there,” she said with a shake of her he
ad. “I can’t do that.”

  “No one would blame you,” Eli replied, his tone gentle. “I’m sure you have some good memories of Thom over the years. I know you’re conflicted right now but if you need the closure, then you need it.”

  “I’m so angry at him right now there is no way I could go to any service. I might stand up and scream in the middle of it.”

  “It’s your call. I just want you to know that you have the option. I could ask for a few days off, and we could stay here if you wanted to. Or we could go anywhere that you want. Take some time and find a distraction. You name it, we’ll do it.”

  This man. This amazing and wonderful man.

  “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a good person?”

  His lips quirked up at the corners. “I only care that you think so.”

  “I do think so.” She cuddled with him, his arm wrapped around her securely. She could stay like this for hours or days. Maybe weeks. “I’m glad that you’re here. You make things…better.”

  “You make things better, too.”

  They sat there for several minutes, half watching the television but mostly enjoying the sensation of being in one another’s arms.

  I could definitely get used to this.

  “Maybe we should tell Jackson that he doesn’t have to hide in his room?” she suggested, her conscience kicking in. Poor Jackson.

  Chuckling, Eli straightened. “Actually, I can ask him to contact the office and see if they can make arrangements for us to return. Then we can talk about what we’re going to do for lunch.”

  She glanced at the clock on the wall and was surprised to see it was so late. They’d sat here far longer than she’d thought.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  They untangled themselves and Eli stood, but the doorbell rang before he was able to head down the hallway.

  “Who could be here?” Charlie asked, also rising from the sofa cushions. “Maybe someone is lost?”

  Eli checked out the front window and didn’t bother to hide his surprised expression. “It’s the Taylors.”

  “How did they know where we were?”

  “When I went to see them, I gave them my card. I scribbled the address on the back of it. I wanted to make it easy for them to talk to me.” He glanced back at her. “Should I open the door? You don’t have to talk to them. You don’t owe them anything.”

  She didn’t. But she couldn’t deny that she was curious as to why they were here. They must have heard the news. In a small town, something like this would make the papers or the television. A twelve-year cold case had been solved.

  “It’s okay. Let them in.”

  Eli opened the door and Bernard stood on the other side. The older man glanced behind him.

  “I’ll only be a moment, Evie.”

  Bernard turned back to Eli and Charlie. “May I come in? I’d like to speak with Charlie. I won’t take much of her time, I promise.”

  Charlie nodded again, and Eli stepped back so Bernard could enter. He didn’t come far though, hovering near the doorway.

  “Your wife?” Eli asked, taking another look out of the window. “Is she okay out there?”

  The older man cleared his throat. “Yes, she’s fine. She has trouble with person-to-person communications. I’m doing the speaking for both of us.”

  In Charlie’s experience, Evelyn had never lacked for anything to say, but perhaps things had changed over the years.

  “I wanted to come here to tell you how sorry we are,” Bernard said. He didn’t appear happy about it, though. He barely made eye contact with Charlie and was shifting his feet nervously. “We shouldn’t have blamed you for what others did. It was wrong and we apologize.”

  The words came out stiffly, as if they’d been rehearsed. Still, it was an apology.

  “Thank you,” Charlie replied, keeping her own tone neutral. “I appreciate you coming here today to tell me that.”

  “We’re moving to Portugal,” Bernard continued, beginning to back toward the door. “I doubt we’ll be back in the states ever again.”

  “Have a safe trip,” Charlie said automatically.

  She was glad that Bernard wasn’t wanting to hang around. He was anxious to leave. Good. This was too awkward for words.

  Eli opened the door and the older man practically tripped over his own feet to rush out. He waved but quickly hopped into his car before speeding out of the driveway.

  “That was weird.” Charlie frowned up at Eli. “It was weird, right? I’m not just imagining it?”

  “It was definitely weird.”

  “I mean…it was nice he apologized, but I kind of got the feeling that Evelyn wasn’t a cheerleader for this.”

  Stroking his chin, Eli shook his head. “I got that feeling, too. I’d just take that apology from Bernard as a win and move on.”

  The Taylors had lost their daughter and Charlie wouldn’t wish that on her worst enemy.

  Eli swung the door shut and flipped the lock closed.

  “Are you ready to go home? I’ll start making arrangements.”

  Was she ready? Hell, yes. Coming back here…

  It hadn’t been a mistake because they’d finally found out the truth. But it hadn’t been the emotional catharsis that she’d hoped it would be. She didn’t feel any better. In fact, she was only more confused. Answering one question had only led to a bunch more.

  Perhaps the past was best left there. Untouched and undisturbed.

  She reached for Eli’s hand and mustered up the best smile she could give him.

  “I’m ready.”

  It was time to start thinking about the future. With Eli.

  Kendra would definitely approve.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Eli’s firm had made a reservation on a late flight back to Seattle. Charlie had quickly packed up her things before Eli and Jackson dropped her at Julian’s law office so she could say goodbye to him in person. She wanted to make sure that they stayed in touch going forward.

  Eli had said that he was going to meet with the detective and then he’d be back to pick her up. The two offices were only a few blocks apart, and his meeting wouldn’t take long. Then they’d grab some food before hitting the road to the airport.

  Charlie didn’t think she’d be coming back here any time soon. It held far too many memories, and although some of them were happy and wonderful, there were a few that were simply too hard to take. At least for now. She might feel differently in the future.

  She’d called Julian before they drove over so he was expecting to see her. His receptionist ushered her into his office closing the door behind her.

  They stared at one another for a long moment and then hugged, his embrace almost crushing the air from her lungs.

  “I’m going to miss you,” she said when he released her. “I wish things had turned out differently.”

  He nodded, his expression sad. “Me too. But at least we know the truth now. I can barely believe it, though. I keep thinking that there’s been some huge mistake and Thom’s going to jump out of a closet or something and say surprise. But it hasn’t happened yet.”

  “I can barely believe it either. I would never have thought…”

  “Me too,” he said again. “Thom didn’t seem the type but then what do I know about murderers? He said in the note that it was an accident. I’m sure that’s what it was.”

  “I just wish he’d said something then,” she replied, her tone laced with frustration. “If it was an accident, we would have understood.”

  “He probably didn’t want to go to jail. And he might have if he couldn’t prove that it was an accident. Can you imagine going to prison for murder when it was all just a tragic accident? I wouldn’t want to be him.”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Thom was a good person. I think he just made a mistake.”

  Charlie struggled to find the right words. “I’m angry with him right now. For Kendra. For leaving like this. We have more questions tha
n we started with. I was telling Eli that I can’t even imagine what they were arguing about. Neither of them had much of a temper.”

  “It must have been something,” Julian said with a shrug. “Don’t make yourself crazy wondering about it too much.”

  “Don’t you wonder too?”

  “Knowing wouldn’t make any difference. Is there any argument they could have had that would make this okay in your head?”

  No, he had a point there. It wouldn’t make what Thom had done justified.

  “I guess I’m just curious.”

  “Don’t let your curiosity ruin your happiness, Char Char. We have to make peace with the situation that we have, not how we’d like it to be.”

  “I know. It’s not easy, though. I’m having a hard time with it.”

  Julian stood from his desk and came around to the front, perching on the corner. “Can I say this to you? I admire what you and Dana did. You had the courage to reopen the case, and because of that we now know the truth. That’s a huge thing and you did that. You made it happen.”

  “I don’t feel courageous, but yes, I am glad that we know what happened to Kendra. Even if I don’t like the answer to the question.”

  “It took a lot of guts to reopen the case, especially after the personal harassment you’ve had with the house fire and then the possible intruder trying to get into your new rental.”

  “I knew Eli would never let anything happen to me.”

  And Jackson. Both of them were over the top protective.

  “Still, that’s a lot to deal with when you’re already dealing with other stressors.”

  Charlie opened her mouth to reply that it really was fine but snapped it shut again. The intruder at the house was last night. How did Julian know about it?

  “I don’t remember telling you about the possible intruder last night.” she finally said. “How did you know?”

  “You told me so yourself,” Julian said with a smile. “When I called you this morning about Thom.”

  “I—I don’t remember that.”

  “You’ve been through so much today. I’m not really surprised.” Julian stood and walked over to the door. “I’m going to ask my assistant to get you a soda. Or would you rather have a water?”