There was a slight shuffling. “Of course. It is very nice to see you again, Mr. Gerrard.”
To Colin’s eternal astonishment, he saw Kit fight at least two swallows, and his eyes held a suspicious sheen in them. “Call me Kit. Please,” his brother said, his voice surprisingly unsteady and hoarse. “And it is my pleasure to see you again.”
Colin found himself fighting a lump at the utter sincerity in Kit’s tone. He turned back to Susannah and found her looking embarrassed, but holding a steady gaze at Kit. She managed a weak smile that showed a surprising amount of understanding. “Thank you, Kit,” she murmured softly.
Kit gave a short, half-bow of acknowledgment that made Colin bite back a grin. Ever the polite one, his twin.
“May I present to both of you,” Susannah said proudly, looking down at the boy, “my son, Frederick? Freddie, this is Mr. Gerrard, and Mr. Colin Gerrard.”
The boy looked at them both, eyes wide as he looked between them, then he swallowed and gave them a perfect bow. His form was even better than Kit’s had been, which meant the lad could already be presented at court. “Pleased to meet you,” Freddie said without hesitation. Then he looked between them again and said, “Erm, which one is which again?”
Colin chuckled and gave Susannah a smile. She had been just as confused about the whole twin thing when she had met them both. “My name is Colin, Freddie. And that’s Kit. We hope you’ll make yourself quite at home while you are here with us.”
Kit said nothing as he stared at Freddie, but neither was he as foreboding as he had been when he’d met the girls.
“Would you like a tour of the place?” Colin asked, trying to draw attention away from Kit. “The library, perhaps?”
Freddie’s eyes lit up and he gasped without shame. “Library? How many books do you have?”
Colin grinned. “I can’t even count them all. And you are welcome to any of them.”
Freddie tugged on his mother’s hand. “Come on, Mama! Let’s go see!”
Susannah smiled at her son and let him pull her towards them. “Which way?” she asked Colin softly.
Colin turned to the side. “Bartlet?” His butler appeared from one of the rooms. “Would you show Miss Hart and Master Freddie to the library? And have a tray of refreshments sent up. I’ll be along momentarily.”
Bartlet clicked his heels in a bow and gestured the way for Susannah and Freddie.
Susannah mouthed a “thank you” as she passed. Colin offered her a wink, which brought a touch of color to her cheeks.
When they were out of earshot, Colin released a sigh and turned to Kit, who stared after them without speaking. Slowly, Kit looked back at him.
“What I said the other night?” Kit murmured roughly. “I take it back. All of it. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I am with you. I’m all in.”
Colin sobered at once. “It is quite a shock, isn’t it?”
“Worse than I could have imagined.” He looked down the hall again, and shook his head. “We need to fix this, Colin. Whatever it takes.”
Colin nodded and opened his mouth to reply when Kit was suddenly heading for the door. “Where are you going?” Colin asked in surprise.
Kit turned, finally regaining his calm. “I am going to fetch my tailor. Freddie needs new clothes and I refuse to let him go without them for long.”
Colin reared back. “Now?”
Kit gave him a look. “You would prefer next week? Yes, now. Don’t tell Susannah. Make something up, will you?”
And then he was gone.
A slow, satisfied grin spread across Colin’s face, and he spun on his heel and hurried towards the library. And Susannah.
He entered the library to find Freddie fairly skipping along the shelves, too excited to speak coherent or complete sentences. His young eyes were wide and his grin threatened to split his face in two. And Susannah watched him with raw, emotional delight. Colin went to her side immediately.
“I take it this is a success?” he chuckled as he reached her.
She looked up at him with a smile. “Oh, Colin, it’s wonderful! Look at him!”
He did and grinned when Freddie yanked a book from the shelf and plopped himself on the ground to begin reading it. “I think he will do quite well here.”
Susannah nodded, one hand going to her throat. “He certainly will. I don’t know…” Her voice broke and she swallowed hard.
Colin rubbed her arm soothingly. “It won’t be for long,” he assured her. “I am going to see Tibby today and she’ll find a position close by in no time. You can see Freddie any time you wish. And Freddie will have lessons with the girls once we secure a governess, so he will be learning and growing every day.”
Susannah nodded, a soft hiccup escaping her. “I know that. I know all of that, but… But I won’t be there to tuck him in at night,” she whispered. “To hear about his day and what adventures he had, to hug him, to tell him a story…”
“You can do all of that here.” Colin tightened his hold on her a bit fiercely. “We can arrange an outing for you every day, just you and Freddie, away from Kit and me and the girls. You are his mother, Susannah. You have complete access to your son, we are merely watching over him for you.”
“I know.” She sniffed and straightened out of his hold, causing a flash of disappointment in his frame. “I would like that very much.” She gave him a half smile. “How is the search for a governess going? Did any of the names I secured work?”
Colin sighed and made a face. “Not really. Nobody wants to work for us, for some reason. And that is just before they met the girls, who knows who will stay afterwards?”
Susannah smiled. “How seriously did you look at them? Two of them, at least, were quite desperate to work.”
Colin smiled sheepishly. “Not so very. I did look into them each, and nothing seemed to fit. Perhaps my expectations are off base, or perhaps I just don’t know what to look for.”
Susannah glanced at Freddie, and smiled at his complete absorption by the book in his lap. She waved Colin over to the set of chairs nearby and sat, and he was quick to follow, taking the other.
“Well,” Susannah said, smiling on a sigh, “perhaps I can help you there. I should have done before, it just never occurred to me.”
Colin waved that off at once. “You have been somewhat occupied with your own concerns, there was no cause for you to fret yourself over mine.”
She inclined her head in acknowledgement. “So what do you have in mind? We can see if there is a way to align your expectations with what is available to you and begin there. If I cannot recommend someone, perhaps your friend Tibby can.”
Colin sat back and thought about it. “Well, for starters, she must get along with the girls.”
“Naturally.”
“I think they would be fairly easy to accommodate, they are so desperate for attention, anyone with a heart should do. But she should be young.”
Susannah immediately shook her head. “No, older.”
He frowned. “I don’t want the girls being taught by a crone.”
Susannah sighed in exasperation, though a light smile touched her lips. “Really, Colin, I don’t intend for them to be taught and minded by the woman who raised you.”
He shuddered at the memory of Miss Layton and his neck burned from the memory of her lash. “Young. Please.”
There was a long silence as Susannah watched him. “Not too young,” she finally relented, giving him a firm look.
He tilted his head, curiously amused. “Why are you insisting on that?”
She gave him a thin smile. “You can’t have the poor thing falling in love with you.”
He jerked in shock. “What? Why would you even think that?”
Susannah snorted, smile genuine now. “Please, Colin. It’s you.”
“Meaning…?”
One brow rose. “Everyone falls in love with you. You know that.”
“Not everyone,” he replied in a much lower voice than
he had intended.
Her eyes turned wary. “Colin…”
He couldn’t stop, not yet. “You never did.”
She looked away at once. He saw her throat work in a swallow, and then in a hoarse whisper, she said, “You don’t know that.”
If the heavens had started raining fluffy white dogs and old crones, he could not have been more stunned. He could not feel his heart anymore, or his toes, and his ribs seemed to be constricting his lungs in the most disconcerting way. He stared at her in abject wonder, the way her color was suddenly heightened, her breathing unsteady, her graceful neck strained with the slightest tension.
Could she really mean…?
He had always assumed the worst, that he had been a fool of unrequited love in his youth, played into the naïve dream of friendship turning romantic, while she had not seen anything of the sort. His heartbreak had been as much of his own making as it had been her actions, if not more. Was it possible, then, that his assumptions had been completely false, even unfounded?
Could his heart have been right after all?
The silence stretched on and on as he attempted to process these revelations. Susannah began to look more uncomfortable, so he cleared his throat and folded his hands together. “So, older, then?”
She kept her gaze down, but he saw the tension ease. “I think that would be best.”
“Right. I’ll have Tibby look into that, she knows everyone.”
“Excellent idea.”
Chapter Eleven
It only took two days for Tibby to find work for Susannah, and it was far more convenient than Colin could have hoped. She was hired as a companion for one of Tibby’s oldest friends, Lady Cavendish, who lived in Grosvenor Street, even closer to Colin than Tibby was.
Tibby had been so delighted to have something to do that she had not even managed to properly interrogate Colin as to the nature of his relationship with the lady in question. She had to be curious about her and why he was so insistent on finding her a good and respectable position. He had even told her that there was a boy to think about, but that he would be with Colin. Uncharacteristically, Tibby had not even blinked at that. She merely waved that off and agreed with him, and loudly bemoaned any friend of Colin’s suffering so harshly when she could help them.
She’d been equally as devoted and determined with finding an appropriate governess for the children, and not two days after that, Mrs. Creighton had been appointed, moved into the family home, and begun her instruction. It was a week into it now, and it was better than Colin had hoped for. Mrs. Creighton was somewhere in her forties, a widow, had grown children of her own, and had just the right mixture of severity and charm. The children both adored and feared her, and finally a sense of order was prevailing in the house.
Tibby had been remarkably quiet of late, which was suspicious. She still offered her home for the girls to use for their music lessons, and Kate was helping there. Other than that, Tibby said nothing about Susannah, about Freddie, about any of it.
Colin knew it would not last long. Tibby would come to her senses soon enough and then he would have to answer all sorts of things. In the meantime, however, he would enjoy the respite and begin preparations to build up defenses and rebuttals. And distract her with the three very precocious and opinionated young girls he was attempting to teach the finer points of pall-mall to at this moment.
Freddie heaved a sigh from beside him. “This will take forever,” he moaned, rolling his eyes up to look at Colin.
Derek chuckled from Freddie’s other side and patted his shoulder. “Get used to this, Master Fred. You will spend the rest of your life waiting on women, and it does not get any easier.”
Freddie shook his head. “I don’t like it, Lord Whitlock. Not one bit.”
“I’m afraid you’re not supposed to, mate,” Colin sighed, folding his arms. “Long suffering gentlemen and all that.”
Freddie sniffed. “Come on, Rosie!” he called down the green. “Just hit it! It is right there in front of you!”
Colin and Derek shook their heads in unison. “Freddie…” they warned at the same time.
Rosie’s head snapped up and she pointed her mallet directly at Freddie’s throat as if it were a sword. “One more word, Frederick, and you will eat this mallet.”
“If she could aim it right,” Freddie muttered, scratching at his ear.
Rosie, thankfully, did not hear him. “Once more, Mr. Bray, if you please,” she called to Duncan in her sweetest voice.
Duncan brought the ball back to her again, and again, Rosie sent the ball in almost the opposite direction of where she meant, causing another round of muttering from Freddie as Geoff stepped in to adjust Rosie’s form.
Derek nudged Colin’s side. “So I take it that the girls have grown used to Freddie now?” he asked quietly, minding Freddie’s attention.
Colin snorted. “You could say that. They are as thick as thieves. He’s such a bright lad and challenges them in lessons. Mrs. Creighton says he is smarter than any seven-year-old she’s ever seen.”
Derek chuckled and folded his arms over his chest. “I bet Rosie loves that.”
That drew a smirk. “Rosie just loves having someone else who likes to read. Bitty is too impatient and knows so little, and Ginny only likes books if you do the voices. Rosie and Freddie would spend hours in the library if I let them.”
Kit suddenly appeared on the terrace and took in the assemblage with one quirked brow. He looked over at Colin with mild interest. “What is going on here?”
“Pall-mall lesson,” Colin called back. “I should think that obvious.”
Derek stifled a laugh into his fist, and Freddie looked at him with concern, but it faded when Derek winked at him.
“For girls this young?” Kit replied sardonically. “Does Mrs. Creighton approve?”
“Of course, I do!” Mrs. Creighton called from her chair on the far side of the green, where Ginny was picking flowers for her.
Kit frowned and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “Wonderful.” Then his expression cleared and he looked back at Colin. “Colin, it’s half past. Time for Freddie to go meet his mother.”
Freddie cheered and raced into the house and up to his room to change his jacket. They had not managed to find the appropriate way to tell Susannah that they had refurbished her son’s attire, and as most of the clothing was not done yet, it was not deemed necessary. So for his daily outings, he wore his old jacket. He never minded, so long as he was with Susannah.
Rosie came over to Colin and was pouting.
“What’s the pout for, poppet?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips.
“I’m not very good at pall-mall,” she said, a furrow forming between her brows. “It’s too hard.”
He smiled and ruffled her curls, his smile growing when she hugged his side briefly. “That is why you practice, Rose. And I will bet, if you ask nicely, Kit will help you while I am gone.”
She snickered into his shirt. “I can’t see Kit being any better at pall-mall than I am.”
Colin clamped down on his lips to keep from laughing out loud. Derek, still nearby, had to walk away to hide his own laughter.
“I will have you know, Miss Rosie,” Kit announced as he approached them at a surprisingly relaxed stroll, “that I am an expert at pall-mall. Much better than Colin. I can teach you tricks that will have you running circles around everyone else.”
Rosie gave him a disbelieving look. “Really, Kit?”
He shrugged, which Kit never did. “Try me and see.” He shucked off his jacket and set it on the terrace steps. “Come on, let’s have a go.”
Rosie looked at Colin in shock.
He was as bewildered as she. “I think you had better do it, Rose,” he said with a pat on her shoulder. “It could be a ruddy miracle.”
She nodded and hurried over to Kit.
Colin made his farewells and went to meet Freddie before the boy could rush off on his own. One of the f
ootmen accompanied them, dressed as commonly as any man in London. He did not usually travel with a servant about London, but with Susannah and Freddie under his care, he was not above such measures.
He had come to crave these visits as much as Freddie did. Initially, he had meant for them to be at his home, but Susannah had adamantly refused to do that. She insisted on meeting on what she called “neutral ground,” a phrase he did not care for at all. It was hardly a battlefield they were dealing with. He had asked her why, and the answer changed every time. Concerns about his sisters, involving his friends, disrupting their lifestyle, and something ridiculous about potential impropriety; he did not understand the lot of it. But she was stubborn enough that not even he could move her on the subject. He did not mind bringing Freddie wherever they settled, not at all, but he was growing tired of her imposed distance.
Each visit was entirely private and he would hang back and observe as an outsider, content to let mother and son have their precious time, but more and more he was being drawn in. He loved it, the delight on Freddie’s face when he saw his mother, though he saw her daily, and the delight on Susannah’s when he spoke to her, all were enough to make Colin’s heart lighter than air.
Susannah was happier, he could see that much. Her eyes had life to them again, and the gauntness was leaving her face. There was not time enough to see if her figure was improving with her situation, and he could hardly examine her closely without being scandalous. But he would settle for the color in her cheeks and the smile on her face to set his heart at ease.
Although, being with Susannah was not putting him quite as much at ease as it had been before. No, now it was exciting and thrilling and almost uncomfortable, though their conversation was always light and easy, and they were already better friends than their childhood had allowed. It was a rather promising beginning, although where it would lead was a mystery he would not face.
Today’s outing was to a quiet corner of Hyde Park, and the number of people milling about outside of it was small enough that Colin signaled to the footman to stay further back than normal.
“Excited, Freddie?” Colin asked of his young companion, who was obviously restraining the urge to run.
The Burdens of a Bachelor (Arrangements, Book 5) Page 12