Justify Me

by J. Kenner

  She fascinated him. Aroused him.

  Hell, she amazed him.

  He'd been almost certain that she was submissive by nature. Not because she was subservient in her professional life--on the contrary, he'd seen how much control and responsibility she shouldered in her job with Lyle--but because the burden of that responsibility made him believe she'd fall willingly and gracefully into a submissive role.

  She was a woman who needed to let go and give herself over to pleasure in order to learn just how much power she truly had. Because God knew, she held absolute power over Riley. For that matter, he thought, she'd wielded that power for years without ever even knowing it.

  So yes, under the right circumstances he could imagine her collared and leashed in a club. He'd imagined that very thing more times than he'd liked to count.

  What he hadn't expected was for his theory about her deeper nature to be proven right so quickly and dramatically, and the trust that she had lain at his feet humbled and amazed him.

  And speaking of surprise...

  He groaned, his eyes rolling back as she shifted position, going from licking him like a lollipop to closing her entire mouth on his cock and taking him deep. With one hand, he reached up and pressed against the roof of the car for leverage. With the other, he fisted her hair, stealing some of the control back as she worked his cock, taking him closer and closer to the edge.

  "Touch yourself," he groaned. "Come on, baby. Slide your fingers between your legs and play with that sweet pussy. I'm so damn close, and I want you to come with me."

  She made a raw, feral sound, then moved the hand that had been on the seat to give her leverage. He couldn't see that low, but as her other hand tightened at the base of his shaft, he was certain that she'd obeyed. Her sucking became wilder, filled now with the dual need of giving and taking pleasure. And the wild, animal noises she was making had the effect of pushing him right to the edge.

  He held on, trying to hold back. Wanting her to come with him, but also wanting to hover at the edge for as long as possible. But soon he had no choice, and he let himself go, keeping his eyes open as he shattered, emptying himself in her sweet, sweet mouth. Watching as she took it all, her eyes opening as he finished to reveal a wild heat and something that looked like pride.

  God, he loved her. More than that, he realized, he'd always loved her.

  And now, as she teetered on that precipice, too, he bent forward and unzipped her bustier, then pulled hard on the middle of the chain, tugging both clamps off her nipples.

  She cried out, a throaty moan made up of pleasure and pain as the blood rushed back to her nipples even as her fingers on her clit pushed her that final distance over the edge.

  Her eyes were on him, but he could tell that it wasn't him she was seeing--it was light, stars, the expanse of the universe. And when he pulled her back up on to the seat beside him, she curled against him, and murmured only two words. "So good."

  Content, he stroked her hair, letting her doze until they turned onto her street.

  "We're here," he said softly, smiling as she blinked up at him.

  "That wasn't fair, you know. I was supposed to be the one treating you."

  "Not fair that we treated each other?"

  "I think you destroyed me," she murmured. "In the best possible way, of course."

  "You're welcome," he said, making her grin.

  The car pulled into the driveway and the driver killed the engine. She slid down again, her head in his lap. "Can't we just stay here? Like maybe forever?"

  He was tempted. That was damn sure. "Warm bed, baby," he said. "And if you're a very good girl, I'll make you a cup of cocoa before we go to sleep."

  She tilted her head, her lips quirking as her brow lifted in mock incredulity. "Are you saying I wasn't already a good girl?"

  He laughed--oh, yeah. He absolutely adored her.

  As they waited for the driver to come around, Riley looked out the window, then frowned. "Nat," he said, his eyes on the big blob of orange fur sitting on the front porch. "I thought your cat stayed indoors."

  "What?" She sprang up, all signs of exhaustion fading. "Pumpkin!"

  She practically leapt over him and had the door open even before the driver reached it. He saw her zip up her bustier and her pants as she ran, then snatch up the cat and hug it close.

  Riley was only steps behind her, and when she moved onto the porch as if to push the cracked front door fully open, he called out sharply for her to wait.

  Her eyes went wide as the implications of her cat being outside and the door being open finally broke through her concern for Pumpkin.

  Riley's rental car was in the drive, and he hurried to it, then retrieved the small Ruger he'd borrowed from Hunter from the glove box. He knew he couldn't take it into the club, so he hadn't even tried. But he was damn well keeping the thing on his person from now on.

  With the gun at the ready, he returned through the door, then peered inside the house through the crack. The interior mat had been shifted onto the threshold, ensuring that the door couldn't close properly. More important, a chalkboard topped the mat. A simple one like the kind found in craft stores.

  One word was neatly printed on it in pink chalk: CHEATER

  Chapter Eight

  I sit on my couch, a soft blanket wrapped around me, both for warmth and to hide the leather bustier from the gaggle of cops who have descended on my house. Not that I begrudge them being there--I want them to do whatever they can to find the asshole who's toying with me.

  Riley has taken charge, and even though this is my house and I'm more than capable of watching out for it and myself, I let him. The truth is, I'm exhausted and I'm scared. It was one thing getting creepy notes. It's something else altogether to have someone inside my house. Someone who may or may not have intentionally put my cat out. My sweet Pumpkin who never harmed anyone and is far too pampered a kitty now to survive on LA's dangerous busy streets.

  Fuck with me, and it may take me a while to get my ire up.

  Fuck with my cat, and you're dead meat from the get-go.

  After what seems like forever, most of the cops are gone, and Riley comes to me, then pulls me to my feet. "Why don't you go wait for me in the bedroom? I think I saw Pumpkin run and hide in there, and she probably needs you."

  "Maybe I need you," I say, then hate myself for sounding scared and needy.

  Riley just kisses the corner of my mouth. "I'll be right here. But I want to finish up with Detective Garrison and check the work on the new locks. Stay if you want. I just thought you might like to get away from the insanity."

  I nod. The truth is, he's right. "Thanks for taking care of this."

  "I think we had this conversation earlier," he reminds me. "As long as you let me, I'll always take care of you. And frankly, I'll do it even if you protest."

  The last part earns him a smile, even though we both know he's not joking. And I think it's that last little reminder of how much he cares that gives me the strength to leave him in charge of my domain and escape into the safety of my bedroom.

  I'm not sure how long I'm in there, sitting on the edge of the bed petting Pumpkin before Riley comes back. All I do know is that when the door finally clicks open, the cat scrambles off my lap and races under the bed, only the orange tip of her tail showing.

  "She going to be okay?"

  Despite everything, I laugh. For over an hour, he's been overseeing the cops and the locksmith, doing everything in his power to make me feel safe and secure in my own house. Now, he's standing in the doorway wearing leather, his broad shoulders filling the frame, looking so damn tough he could be an action hero.

  And what is he concerned about? The mental health and well-being of my cat.

  "What?" he asks as my laughter ratchets up a notch.

  "You," I say, smiling so wide it hurts. "Just...thank you."

  He crosses to me, then sits on the bed and pulls me into his lap. "For what?"

  I snuggle close, bot
h content and amazed at how right it feels to be in his arms. "For taking care of me. For watching out for me. For tonight."

  "Tonight," he repeats.

  I nod, then shift on his lap so that I'm straddling him. "Every single thing about tonight," I say huskily as his cock stiffens beneath me. "Except the part where we got off track."

  "Off track," he says, and I hear a welcome note of humor in his voice. "That's one way of putting it." He traces a finger over my collarbone and then lower over the swell of my breast. "I seem to recall we had very specific plans for when we reached your house tonight."

  "Did we?" I tease as he unzips my bustier, then tosses it onto the floor.

  "I seem to recall promising some very specific things," he continues, reaching back to unzip my pants. "Like, for example, fucking you senseless."

  "Oh," I say, my tender nipples tightening again, the sensation wildly enticing.

  "It's ridiculously late," he says, gently sliding me off his lap so that I'm standing in front of him. "But I have to have you. Tell me if you want me to stop," he adds as he falls to his knees and peels the pants and my thong down my legs. "Because, baby, right now I can't think about anything else but being inside you," he says, then licks my very sensitive pussy, sending a current of electricity racing through me.

  "Riley..." It's the only word I conjure, but it's enough. My feet are already bare, and I kick out of the last of the leather pants as he leads me back to the bed, then lays me out naked.

  He stands beside me, then shrugs off the black leather vest and lets it fall to the ground. I swallow, wondering if I'll ever get used to the beauty of this man. The strength and power he exudes.

  Wondering if I'll ever stop craving him and knowing that I won't. Hell, that I don't want to.

  For so long, I'd denied myself this man, and now I can barely remember why. He's blown through my defenses in record time and settled himself firmly in the Riley-shaped place in my heart that's been waiting for him for years.

  He meets my eyes, his grin crooked and cocky, as if he knows what I'm thinking. As if he understands how much I want him. All of him.

  Then his hand goes to his fly, and I actually whimper. After everything we've done together, I realize with surprise that I haven't actually seen him naked. And I hold my breath as he pulls the leather down. Since he's gone commando, his cock springs free, hard and thick and huge.

  Without thinking, I reach for him, but he just steps away from my fingers, his grin suggesting that he knows he's tormenting me.

  I expect him to get onto the bed, but first he grabs up the vest. I see him reach into a slim pocket on the inside, and then toss something onto the bedside table. I glance over and see a packet of condoms. "Boy Scout," he says, making me laugh.

  Then he gets onto the bed and straddles me. It's almost three in the morning, and I've been through a lot, but the moment his skin touches mine, all traces of exhaustion leave me, overcome by the sheer power of this man.

  "I want to hold you," he tells me. "I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. But first, I have to be inside you."

  "Yes," I whisper. "Oh, dear God, yes."

  We move together, slow and easy. Fingers touching. Mouths teasing. Our bodies fit perfectly, and he takes me on my back, my knees bent up to my chest so that he can go deep, his rhythmic thrusts filling me and making the bed shake with the motion. His body covers me, and his cock fills me, and as we move together, I lose my sense of self. We're one, a unit, and I can't tell where he begins and I end. Even when he starts to come, I feel the ripples of his release break through me, taking me over the edge as well.

  And when he calls out, his voice a raw, guttural groan, for me to go over with him, I break apart, my body answering his command without question, shattering with him, and then coming back together in his arms.

  We stay like that, him on top of me, looking into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and I believe it. Because as I look deep into Riley's dark eyes, I know that I'm seeing the full measure of the man. More than that, I know that I love him. I think I always have.

  What I don't know is if he feels the same way. Or, if he does, how we can possibly make this work.

  Those same thoughts swirl in my head as we spoon together, my back to his chest, as sleep creeps up on us.

  I, however, fight it back. It's not sleep I want. It's Riley. It's a future. And to get there, we have to reconcile the past.

  I take a deep breath, then exhale, hoping he hasn't drifted off already. "About before," I say. "The years before, not earlier today."

  "Yes?" His voice is tired, but I know I have his attention.

  "It's not just that seeing you made me remember my father. That's not the only reason I pushed you away."

  "Wasn't it?"

  "No. It's that I didn't think that I could stand the strain of knowing I might lose you at any minute the same way I lost him." My voice is tight with emotion, and I exhale noisily. "But it doesn't matter anyway, does it? Because you don't like this city. And once you catch my stalker, you're going to leave. Aren't you?"

  He's silent for a moment, then he says, "Is that what you want?"

  I lick my lips, suddenly unsure. I can't imagine living with that fear every day. I don't know how my mother did it. She died of complications following surgery three years before my father did. I sometimes wonder if in some way that was a relief to her. Or is it just simply proof that worrying about the obvious dangers is foolish, because the unexpected ones will get you anyway?

  "I don't know," I say after a moment, realizing I haven't answered his question. But how can I? I want the man. But I also want certainty and safety. Or at least as much certainty as is humanly possible.

  "You love this town," he says after a moment.

  "I do." I want to turn and see his eyes, but I don't. These are things we've never talked about, and they're important. And I don't want to stop--or risk doing anything that makes him stop. "But it's mostly my job that I love," I admit.

  "Lyle?"

  "Partly. Working for him is great. But I truly love Hollywood. If they moved the heart of the film industry somewhere else, I'd follow." I draw in a breath, and then tell him the real truth. "I want to be part of making happy endings," I admit. "I can't act or produce or direct or any of that. But I can help. I can make a difference for the ones who craft the stories, and that matters."

  "It does," he agrees.

  "The stories matter, too. To the public, sure, but also to me. I need to be part of the fairy tale. Honestly, even though I was born in LA, I sought out Hollywood. I came to it because it was my due. Because in my real world, when Cinderella lost her shoe, it ended up tossed in a junk heap. And Sleeping Beauty got tetanus from that damn needle prick."

  I take a breath. "I wanted to help make happily ever afters, and if I couldn't do it in real life, then I'd help do it on the screen in whatever way I could wrangle."

  "I get that," he says. "There's not much that's more important than making your own happy ending."

  I smile, more pleased than I'd anticipated that he seems to understand why my work, which probably looks to someone on the outside like something I could do for any exec in any industry, is important to me.

  "What about you?" I ask. "How'd you end up on a SWAT team with my dad? Were you following in your own father's footsteps?"

  "No," he says. "Honestly, I don't know why. I just know that it's what I've always wanted. I like order. I appreciate respect. And I like to live in a world where there are rules. You break them sometimes, sure. But for the most part, the idea is to mold a world that makes sense. That's sane and safe." I feel him shrug. "I guess the bottom line is that I want to help people. And by doing that I go a little ways toward making the world that I want to live in."

  "That makes sense," I say.

  "Bottom line, I'm selfish."

  I laugh. "Bottom line, you're one of the best men I know. You didn't have to
help me. You could be off in China right now."

  "But I'm not," he says. "I'm here right now. And at least for the moment, I'm not going anywhere."

  I sigh, then I break my own rule and turn to face him. "Hold me," I say. "Hold me, and then find me in your dreams."

  Chapter Nine

  Thank God for friends, Riley thought as he shook Zac Tyson's hand. And for Ian Taggart.

  "Not sure how much help I can be," the burly man with the shaved head and Chicago Cubs T-shirt said as he greeted Riley in the now-deserted reception area. "But if Taggart says you deserve the open door policy, then you got it, my friend."

  "Appreciate it." Riley had texted Big Tag with a quick and dirty summary of the situation, then asked Tag to reach out to Jared for an intro to The Firehouse's owners so that he could get access to the security set-up. Instead, Tag had gone one step further and hooked Riley up with the club's security guru. Apparently Zac had done some surveillance work for Taggart. Which Riley probably should have anticipated. Never underestimate Ian Fucking Taggart, after all.

  Riley and Nat had slept until eight, when Pumpkin had decided she was hungry and had taken to batting Riley's face until he woke up. He and the cat had bonded over tuna and coffee, and then he'd returned to the bedroom where he'd very methodically kissed his Sleeping Beauty awake.

  They'd made love in the shower, after which she'd pulled together a breakfast of eggs and toast. The whole morning had felt ridiculously, wonderfully domestic, especially after the heated decadence of the night before. And Riley, who never stayed over at a woman's house, had sat in the chair watching her cook, all the while thinking that he could get used to that.

  The text had come in while they were eating, and since the only time Zac had available that morning was when Nat needed to be on a conference call, they'd decided he'd go by himself.

  He saw her safely to the condo office, double-checked to make sure the elevator and door security were working properly, then told her not to go out for any reason.