I see Miles again, in the meadows. It was way out of line, the way he yelled at Cleo, but is that any reason for her to want to torture him? Besides, so far, like Alissa, he hasn’t been touched.
But I can’t shake off the idea that there’s something up with him. Miles seems perfect, but that boy gives me the chills.
Mint is looking at me again. Now I’m sure of it. She saw me in the meadows. She saw me yelling at Cleo. I have to speak to her alone. She has to keep her mouth shut.
Alissa must never look at me the way Karla did just before she ran away from me.
I tried to stop her, but I couldn’t. The guy from the next apartment heard the noise and came outside to ask if everything was okay.
All I could do was watch Karla running away from me. It was the last time I spoke to her. After that, everything had to be in secret. I followed Karla on my bike nearly every day. I was there when she ate an ice cream, when she went shopping or to dance class with Peyton. I hated Peyton and her troublemaking. She was the reason for our breakup.
And now there’s Mint, who could do the same as Peyton did back then. She could drive me and Alissa apart.
I have to stop her before she shoots her mouth off.
“I think this Cleo must be really sick,” Alissa says. “Don’t you agree?”
It takes me a moment to realize she’s talking to me. I look into her blue eyes and see a very different expression than back then with Karla. Alissa looks at me as if we’re on the same team. It has to remain that way for as long as possible.
“Yes,” I say quietly. “You’re right.”
There’s a rumbling in the chute. All four of us rush to the doctor’s office.
“What’s in it?” Sky asks me in a panicky voice. This time it’s just a note. No lock of hair.
I unfold the strip of paper and read the words. My scalp is prickling, and it feels as if the whole room is starting to spin. I can’t read this out loud. Complete chaos would break out.
“Miles?” Alissa is standing right next to me. I quickly turn away from her, before she can read it over my shoulder.
I have to come up with something, something different than what’s written here.
“She, um…She wrote: ‘Good luck looking for the keys. Maybe there’s another way out.’ ”
* * *
—
Mint seemed shocked when I just suggested that the two of us should go search Lia’s room, but I got her to agree. Sky and Alissa are in the doctor’s office. I close the door behind us and pretend to search behind it.
What should I do? I can’t just start talking about the meadows. First I have to try to find out exactly what Mint saw.
“Do you like cycling?”
Mint looks at me. “What…What do you mean?”
“Like, say, through the meadows?” I say, kicking it up a notch.
Mint blushes bright red. She has no curtain of hair to hide behind now.
She saw me. That much is clear. She knows about my scooter helmet and about Cleo.
“I know you saw me,” I say. “But you don’t need to be scared.”
Mint looks nervously at the door. Is she going to call for help?
“Honestly,” I say. “I was just a bit angry.”
“A bit?” Mint dares to look right at me. I saw how she took care of Sky. She’d do the same for Alissa.
“What happened there is my business, not yours.”
“If you’re with my friend, it’s my business.” Mint is still looking straight at me. “You screamed at Cleo. Is that the reason we’re in here now?”
I feel the note burning in my back pocket. No one can find out what Cleo wrote, and certainly not Alissa.
“Of course not,” I say.
“I don’t trust you.”
Mint will warn Alissa about me. Maybe she already has.
“I don’t care.” I stare at her. “As long as Alissa trusts me. And she is in love with me.”
Mint’s eyes narrow. “You are seriously disturbed.”
Karla said exactly the same thing to me back then, in the same tone.
I reach Mint in two steps. Fear flashes across her face. See, she’s scared of me. I have to use that. It’s the only advantage I have. Before I know it, my hand is around her throat.
“Don’t go shooting your mouth off to Alissa.”
Mint’s eyes are open wide. I can see the veins in the whites of her eyes.
“Is that perfectly clear?” As I say the last word, I gently press my thumb into her skin.
“Y-yes.”
“Good.” I let go of Mint and hear her gasping for air behind my back. I didn’t want to do that, but I had no choice.
There’s a war raging in my stomach. Miles has gone, but I can still feel his thumb on my skin. I have to hold on to the dresser to stop my knees from giving way.
Miles isn’t just unreliable. He’s dangerous.
I hear him talking to Alissa out in the hallway, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. His casual tone makes me nauseous. How can he put on a different face so quickly? It’s not normal. It’s…
“Hey, Mint?” Alissa comes into the room. “You okay?”
I want to answer, but no sound is coming from my throat. How can I tell her what just happened?
“Are you crying?”
I collapse into Alissa’s arms, leaning my full weight against her.
Miles had his hand around my throat. He could have strangled me if he’d wanted to. Could I even have called out for help?
“Shhhh,” Alissa whispers. “It’s going to be okay.”
I have to tell her to stay away from Miles. That’s all that matters now.
“It’s Miles. He’s dangerous.”
Alissa frowns. “Are you starting that again?”
Her words flash through my mind. I know who you got that panicky stuff from.
Alissa has to believe me. She has to.
“He threatened me.”
Alissa looks shocked. “Huh? When? Just now?”
“I saw him yesterday. He completely flipped out. He’s dangerous, Alissa. He was yelling and smashing his scooter helmet into a bench, and then Cleo came along and—”
“Cleo?” Alissa says, interrupting me.
“She was out running. She asked Miles something, and he…exploded.”
“At Cleo?”
Why do we keep talking about Cleo? Didn’t Alissa hear what I’m trying to tell her?
“He’s disturbed,” I say quietly. I take a sidelong look at the door. Miles is even more dangerous than Cleo, because he’s in here with us. He’s a head taller than Alissa and me, and Sky has only one good hand left.
“He grabbed me by the throat. Here.” I point at the place where Miles’s thumb pressed into my skin.
Alissa frowns. “I don’t see anything.”
“He didn’t squeeze.”
As soon as I say it, I realize I don’t have a leg to stand on. As Miles said, Alissa is on his side. I’ve never seen her like this before. She’s completely fallen for Miles’s tricks.
“How can you be so blind?” I’m getting angry now. “You can see something’s not right, can’t you?”
Alissa looks at me silently for a few seconds, and then she says, “Are you mad because of your hair?”
“Huh? What?” Does she really think that’s what I’m worried about? “Why would I be bothered about my hair?” I explode. “I was already ugly anyway.”
“Are you jealous of Miles and me?”
Alissa doesn’t know what she’s talking about. That has nothing to do with it.
“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a boyfriend and I do.”
I want her to stop.
“Is that why you’re wearing makeup? Beca
use you want to be like me?”
“Not everything revolves around you!” I spit out the words. “Sometimes things are about someone else. But you’re only interested in yourself. Even when Sky got hurt, you didn’t help him.”
“I was panicking!” Alissa takes a step forward. “The way you always do, with your stomach and your aches and pains. Everyone feels sorry for you, including me. Why do you think I came and sat with you on the first day of school? I felt sorry for you, sad little mousy Mint!”
I can see it again. I had thought Alissa had made a bet. And that was why she came to sit by me. But this reason is much, much worse.
“Better sad than selfish.” The words come pouring out, as if they’ve always been in there but have only just found the way out. “You always want all the attention, even at your dad’s expense!”
I know bringing up the documentary is a step too far, but I can’t stop. I want to hurt her.
Alissa’s face changes. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. But you might if you’d ever asked me about it.”
I want to take back my words, but at the same time I kind of want to say it all over again.
“Is it any wonder I get all the attention?” hisses Alissa. “And look at the state of you now, with your hacked-off hair.”
It’s like someone else lifts up my arm and swings it forward. The flat of my hand slaps hard against Alissa’s cheek.
At first her eyes are wide with disbelief, but then they turn as cold as Miles’s.
They’re fighting. As long as I’ve known Alissa and Mint, they’ve never fought. And now Alissa’s saying that Mint hit her.
I leave Miles and Alissa in the doctor’s office and quickly go to Lia’s room, where Mint is sitting on the floor.
I crouch in front of her. “What happened?”
Mint doesn’t answer. She mustn’t give up, not now. Mint is the only one who did anything when my hand was stuck in the hatch. She let Alissa cut off her hair to keep Caitlin out of danger. She’s a leader.
“We need you in there.” Quietly, I add, “I need you.”
Mint looks up. She smiles sadly. “Do you feel sorry for me too? For mousy little Mint?”
I think about the way Mint can be in the outside world, with her sagging shoulders and her lank hair. The way she complains about all those nagging little aches and pains.
I don’t want to lie to her. She doesn’t deserve it.
“Sometimes.”
“Alissa says I’m jealous of her, but that’s not it.”
“Why would you be jealous?”
“Because she has a boyfriend and I don’t. Because all the boys like her.”
“Not all the boys,” I say.
“Miles, you…”
“Me?” Deep inside me, something explodes. All the blood rushes to my head.
“Do you think I didn’t realize?” Mint looks at me, shaking her head. “You said she was pretty on the very first day of school.”
What’s Mint talking about? Did I really say that to Alissa?
“She hates me,” says Mint.
“Of course she doesn’t.” I’m glad Mint changed the subject.
“I hit her.”
“I heard something along those lines.” Slowly, I feel my heartbeat getting back to normal. “But we’re all pretty confused right now.”
“Alissa doesn’t believe me.” Mint gives me a searching look, as if she’s not sure she can trust me. “We were talking about Miles.”
Miles? I change my position and hear a creaking sound under my feet.
Mint’s eyes widen. “Do that again!”
The floor makes a strange sound, as if there’s some give in the boards.
Mint pulls up the rug in one movement. You can barely see it, but one of the floorboards is loose.
I look around at Caitlin.
She’s finally stopped crying.
I don’t understand.
This girl isn’t ugly.
Slowly, the pieces fall into place.
I feel a smile on my lips.
This is the perfect oil to pour on the fire.
Time for a new message.
Miles puts his arms around me and hugs me to him. I realize that I’m crying, but I don’t know how long I’ve been crying for.
Mint slapping me isn’t even the worst of it. Her words hurt much more. She’s never said anything about the documentary, and now she’s throwing it in my face.
“Mint says you threatened her.”
Miles immediately lets go of me. “What?”
“I don’t believe her,” I say. “She’s gone completely crazy.”
Miles runs his hand through his hair. “Well, I did do something….”
It feels like when you miss a step. This can’t be true.
“I tried to talk to her about yesterday,” Miles says.
“Just talk?”
“Of course.” Miles gives me a shocked look. “What did you think?”
Mint’s obviously lying. She wants to hurt me, so she accused Miles and brought up my dad.
“I know about the meadows,” I say quietly.
Miles nods. “I didn’t want you to hear about it, so I asked her to keep her mouth shut. She must have taken it the wrong way.”
“Why didn’t you want me to know you were so angry?”
Miles smiles weakly. “Why do you think? We’re only just getting to know each other!”
I know that feeling. I want to be the best version of myself with him too.
“I was on edge because of my dad.” Miles turns his face away. “A few days ago, I accidentally rode my bike to our old street. It was so bizarre to be there for the first time since Dad…You know, everything there is the same, but at the same time it’s all different.”
I think about what my dad was like yesterday. It wasn’t like last Christmas, but he was different than usual.
“I know what you mean.”
“I think Mint’s scared of me.” Miles looks at me, worried. “She’s been staring at me all night, but without saying a word.”
So he’s noticed Mint spying on him too. I feel ashamed for her.
We sit down on the floor. I hear Mint and Sky talking in Lia’s room. I don’t understand Mint. Is she really that jealous of us being together?
“So you didn’t grab her by the throat?” I ask, just to make sure.
Miles looks hurt. “Do you think I’d do that?”
I look deep into his eyes. I see the same blue as earlier this week. He’s not lying. No one can lie that well.
I sigh. “I just can’t believe Mint would make up something like that.”
“Friends are shit.”
I look at him. “Why?”
Miles laughs, but it sounds anything but happy. “After Dad died, they all said they’d be there for me. Karla too. They wanted to talk to me. They wanted me to cry. But when I finally did, they left. People can’t handle sadness. Have you ever noticed that?” Miles looks at me. “Your friends have never asked about your dad either, right?”
Miles’s words slowly get through to me. He’s right. Sky and Mint have never bothered to ask.
There’s a rumbling in the chute. What does Cleo want now? I don’t know if I can handle any more of her messages. When is this torment going to stop? I follow Miles to the chute.
He frowns as he reads the message.
“What?” I ask. “Has she kidnapped any more people?”
Miles looks up. “It’s about Sky.”
“What about him?” I take the strip of paper from his hand and read:
Why did you guys punish Mint that way, when Sky is the one with a wicked game to play? His love for Caitlin is fake, not real. If she knew, how do you think she’d feel? Sky lies really well
, he lies really quick, and the way he treats Caitlin should make you feel sick.
I look up. “What’s this about now?”
Miles shrugs. “Caitlin?”
I read the message again, but the words haven’t changed. It’s Cleo who’s playing a wicked game, isn’t it? Not Sky?
Is Cleo trying to drive us apart? Well, it’s not going to work. Mint might be a bit twisted, but Sky is honest through and through. I know him better than anyone.
“We’ve got the key!”
I’m startled to see Sky coming into the doctor’s office. His new bandage is soaked through, but he looks invincible.
“Is there another message?”
I slowly lower the piece of paper. I can’t read this out. I don’t want to hurt him. Sky would never lie to me. He’s the most honest person I know. If Sky thinks something, he says it. He’s a bulldozer, the most direct kid in the class, sometimes too direct, but I can take it when it comes from him.
“She says you’re playing a game,” says Miles.
Sky frowns.
Do we really have to kick him when he’s down? Sky’s already been hurt enough, what with Caitlin and with his hand.
Miles clears his throat. “She says you don’t really like Caitlin.”
When Sky has to talk in front of the class, he is completely in his element. When he stumbles on the street, he makes a joke of it. But now he’s blushing all the way down to his neck.
So it’s true.
“But why?” I ask.
Sky shifts from one foot to the other. “What exactly does it say?”
I slowly realize that Sky has actually been lying to me. All that time he was with Caitlin, he was playing a game.
Friends really are shit.
“Why are you going out with her when you…”
Sky shakes his head, as if this is a nightmare and he really, really wants to wake up. I want the same, but this isn’t a nightmare. This is real.
Just now, he was totally panicking about Caitlin. He can’t have been acting, can he? I know Sky.
“I want…” Sky looks at me and then at Miles and back at me. “I can’t tell you, okay? Not here.”
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