I’ve never seen my best friend nervous before, but he can barely get his words out.
“I don’t get it,” I say. “I just don’t get it.”
How can Sky have fooled me for all those months? What kind of game does Cleo mean?
“Not here,” repeats Sky, and he looks at Miles again. Is he scared of him? But why…
Then the penny drops.
I look at Sky. “You’re in love with me.”
Sky’s cheeks just about explode. He even looks like he’s sweating.
“No, that’s not it.”
I don’t believe him anymore. It’s like his lies are being poured over all my memories.
All those months he was with Caitlin, was he really thinking about me? We’ve known each other since the first year of junior high, so why did I never notice anything?
I did kind of notice that he never went out with girls, but Sky was always busy with other things. Drumming, working at the pizzeria. And when Caitlin came along, I didn’t stop to think about it.
How could I have missed it?
But as far as I know, Sky never flirted with me. He never touched me. Not like Miles does. Sky’s managed to keep this hidden for all those years.
Cleo’s right: Sky lies really well; he lies really quick.
“You don’t get it.” Sky’s eyes flash back to Miles and then to me. “I’m not in love with you.”
I squeeze the key. It’s out. The biggest secret I ever had is out.
I don’t dare look at the two of them, but I can feel that my words are slowly getting through.
Alissa is the first to say something.
“You’re in love with Miles?”
Hearing it out loud is even worse than it just being inside my head. I don’t want her to say it, not her of all people.
I want to get away, but there’s nowhere to go. We’re locked up. Cleo is slowly breaking us.
How did she know? Was it the conversation I just had with Mint?
She thought I was looking at Alissa, but I’m always looking at Miles.
“Of course not.” Miles smiles, shaking his head. “Sky’s just joking, right?”
I glance at Miles. It’s not a smart idea. His blue eyes have the same effect on me as an electric fence.
“No…” Miles’s expression changes. “Don’t be stupid.”
In my mind, he reacted differently. When I looked at his photo and told him about it, he was full of understanding.
When our boss took a picture after our staff outing, I made sure I was standing next to Miles. I felt his arm against mine as I stared into the camera. I wanted to look good. This had to be the perfect photo of us together.
Ideally, I’d have cut out the rest of my coworkers, but if Alissa and Mint had seen that photo, they’d immediately know that I felt more for him. This way, Miles could stay on my nightstand.
“You’re gay?” Miles looks at me incredulously. “But…but you don’t look gay.”
“So what do gay guys look like, then?” I can hear my voice shaking. “Neat? Tight jeans? Effeminate?”
At first I thought I stood a chance with Miles. In fact I thought that until last week.
As he rode his scooter into the park, I sat up straighter. When Miles is around, I’m always aware of how I move, how I look.
Alissa did the same thing before me, quickly running a hand through her hair. I didn’t think anything of it, because, as always, I was thinking about Miles.
The bet was perfect. Thanks to Alissa, I’d finally be able to ask the question I’d wanted to ask for months.
“Are you gay?”
Miles would look up, with those beautiful eyes of his, and say yes.
And then he’d kiss me.
“No,” Miles had said in reality. “I’m not gay.”
Even after that, I was still hopeful. Maybe he was in the denial phase, like me in the beginning. Maybe I just needed to be patient.
But now that I’ve told him and seen how he reacted, I know it’s not denial. He’s disgusted at the thought of me looking at him in that way.
Over the past few months, I’ve done everything I could to forget Miles. I called in sick. I tried to imagine that he stank or had a disgusting personality that I would eventually discover.
But it didn’t work. I want him to be with me the way he is with Alissa. He’s caring, attentive…and completely out of reach for me.
“So why are you with Caitlin?” Alissa is looking at me like I’m a stranger.
What was I supposed to do? Alissa often used to make it clear that she thought it was weird for me to ignore all that attention from girls. Caitlin was the only one I dared to try it with. She really is okay. Somehow her blue eyes reminded me of Miles’s.
Alissa shakes her head. “You used her as a cover.”
“So what?!” I yell at her. “What do you care?”
I’d like to do the same as Mint—to give Alissa a slap. It sometimes seems like she has everything. She has no idea what it’s like not to have what she’s got.
She’s my best friend, and at the same time I hate her. She took Miles away from me, even though I never had him.
Does she really think I don’t feel guilty about Caitlin? But I needed her. I wasn’t ready to come out of the closet. I’m still not ready. Not even now. I don’t want the image that people have of me to change.
I turn to go back to Lia’s room, but then, to my horror, I see Mint standing in the doorway.
How long has she been there? Long enough to know I’m gay, but she’s looking at me very differently than Alissa and Miles. She has her head at a bit of an angle and a vague smile on her lips, as if she’s finally solved a tricky sudoku after weeks of puzzling.
Mint knows what it’s like to be different from other people. She knows how it feels for Alissa to have everything when you have nothing. Mint lives in her shadow every day.
“Come on,” I say to Mint. “Let’s go open up the third room.”
Sky’s hand is shaking so much that he can’t get the key into the hole.
“Give it here,” I say quietly. “I’ll try.”
Sky’s in love with Miles. I can hardly believe it. I always thought he liked Alissa. What was I basing that on? That remark on the first day of school? Or because I assumed all the boys liked her?
“Not all the boys,” Sky had said, but I didn’t understand then what he really meant.
It’s Miles he’s in love with, just like Alissa. So he won’t believe my version of what happened in Lia’s room either.
The door opens, and we see a masculine room. On the single bed there’s a checkered comforter, with a photo of a football team on the wall above. There’s a dresser with three drawers and a keyboard in the corner.
There are photos on the dresser, which I study, one by one. A photo of a couple around Mom and Dad’s age draws my attention.
“This must be the doctor.” I pick up the photo and point at another one. “And that blond girl must be Lia.”
Sky doesn’t reply. When I look up, I see that he’s sat down on the bed, with his eyes closed.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Sky slowly shakes his head. “It hurts. I’m worried that I’m losing too much blood.”
I look at his wet bandage. It needs to be changed, but the new one will be soaked through within five minutes too.
“I want to stitch you up, but I don’t know how.”
Sky gives me a crooked grin. “Then don’t do it.”
I sit down next to him. Our thighs touch. He must have felt so lonely all this time. Particularly this week, when Miles fell for Alissa.
“You’re still just Sky to me. Whether you’re gay or not.”
Sky looks up. “I’ve destroyed everything, Mint. Because of me, Caitlin
—”
“Cleo’s not interested in Caitlin,” I say to reassure him. “She’s interested in us.”
Sky sniffs, and I can tell he’s crying. I want to comfort him. He needs to know that he’s not the only one with a secret.
“I feel other people’s pain. I can tell when someone’s going to suffer pain, because I feel it in my own body. Before Alissa broke her wrist, my wrist hurt. Same thing with your piercings. And your fingers.”
There’s silence for a moment. What am I going to do if Sky thinks I’m a drama queen just like Alissa?
“Do you see things too?” Sky asks. “Ghosts and stuff?”
I burst out laughing. I can’t help it. “No, thank goodness.”
“Is that why you stay home with stomachaches so often?”
I nod. “When the older kids had their final exams, I could hardly eat for a week. I felt their nerves, as if they were mine.”
“And you can predict it,” Sky says. “So you feel it before the other person feels it?”
I nod again. “Something’s going to happen to Miles’s stomach.”
Sky looks at me, startled. “Is Cleo going to hurt him?”
“Maybe.”
“We have to warn him.” Sky goes to stand up, but I pull him back.
“He’ll never believe me,” I say.
“You don’t know that. We have to—”
“No.” I’m shocked by the fierceness of my voice. “I can’t go to Miles.”
Sky doesn’t ask any questions. Maybe he’s too weak; perhaps he knows how annoying it is when you’re pressured to say something you don’t really want to say.
* * *
—
“How do you stand it?” Sky asks after a while.
I’ve already searched the whole room twice. Sky stayed on the bed. His face is going whiter and whiter.
“What, exactly?”
“All the boys falling for Alissa?”
Strangely enough, it doesn’t hurt when Sky says it, even though it’s the same as what Cleo said earlier this evening.
“You get used to it,” I say. “To being a shadow.”
“You’re not supposed to be a shadow,” Sky says. “You can’t let it happen.”
“It happens automatically.” I think about the park last week. Miles ignored me. I thought that was fine. The high wall I stand behind keeps me safe. No one can touch me there.
“That’s too bad,” Sky says. “You can do so much more than you let on.”
What he says touches me. I don’t know how to respond, so I press a key on the keyboard, and to my surprise it’s connected.
Lia’s voice comes through the intercom. It feels like we haven’t heard her for hours.
“Will you play for me?”
“Okay,” says a boy’s voice. Is this his room?
Then there’s the sound of a piano playing, very delicately. Every note the boy plays makes me feel warmer. A strong memory flashes back to me.
I’m sitting with my mom and dad in church on Christmas Eve. It’s the only day of the year when we go to church. I’m sitting between them. Mom puts some money in the collection box, and Dad puts his arm around me. His arms are long enough to reach around me to Mom.
It’s one of those rare moments when the three of us are together, without work, stress, and hassle. Will I ever have another moment like that?
The intercom falls silent.
It seems like an innocent piece of music, but I know that there’s a reason for everything in this Escape Room. Cleo is going to keep on sending us puzzles, even though I’m sure she’ll never let us go.
“It’s that keyboard.” I point at the black-and-white keys. “We have to play something on it.”
“But what?” asks Sky.
I think about the clue in Lia’s room. We thought the room was just a distraction, but there was more to it.
“The music box,” I say. “Beethoven.”
Sky looks up, like he’s remembering something. “Miles plays the keyboard.”
How could Cleo see that Sky likes me and I didn’t, even when it was right under my nose?
I glance sideways at Alissa. Since we’ve been alone, she hasn’t said a word. I think she’s on my side, but I don’t know for sure.
I want to protect her in here. She has to understand that. She needs to know I’m here for her.
“Can you help us?”
When I look up, I see Mint standing in the doorway. It’s a moment before I realize she’s talking to me.
I’m surprised she dares to speak to me after what happened in Lia’s room.
“Can you play ‘Für Elise’ on the keyboard?” Mint asks nervously.
I think about the keyboard in my own room. It was a present from my dad, but I never play it. I’m afraid it will bring up the memories I’m desperately trying to push away.
“It’ll get us into the last room.”
Alissa completely ignores Mint. She’s lost her two friends, but that won’t be enough for Cleo. It won’t be long before it’s Alissa’s turn….
“I’m coming.”
Miles is still just as handsome as he was a few minutes ago. How can I ever get him out of my mind when I could draw him with my eyes closed?
I know he has a small birthmark on his right ear. That he likes things to be lined up straight. How many times did he tidy my worktop? Whenever I got back from the bathroom, my knife would be in a straight line with the chopping board, the tomatoes would be neatly sliced and waiting in a row, and the dish towel would be folded over the handle of the oven. Miles does everything perfectly. Miles is perfection.
“You want me to play Beethoven?” Miles asks me. His tone is distant. He seems to be finding it hard to look at me.
“Yes.” I point at the keyboard. “Can you do that?”
Miles nods sourly and sits down at the keyboard. First he plays the wrong notes. I’m about to suggest fetching the music box, but then the right tune begins to flow from his fingers.
If we ever get out of here, I’ll never be able to listen to that song again. It will always remind me of this scene: my hand in the bloody bandage and Miles not daring to look at me. Mint and Alissa not talking to each other, and that lock of Caitlin’s hair on the floor of the next room. Cleo has completely torn us apart.
The key to the last room is in a drawer that slides out of the keyboard as soon as Miles has finished playing. He goes back to Alissa in the doctor’s office. It’s too painful for the four of us to be together.
I no longer feel the adrenaline when we find something new. I just feel empty and numb.
* * *
—
The last room turns out to be a living room. There’s a bookcase, a table with five chairs, and a saggy sofa, and there’s an open kitchen. There are candles on the table, with hardened wax spilling into their holders.
Mint hurries to the windows, but they’re fake, of course, with a brick wall behind them.
I try to imagine other people who have done this Escape Room. They gave their experience five stars. Would I have done the same if Cleo hadn’t been here? Maybe.
I sit down on the sofa, feeling exhausted and dizzy.
What does it feel like when you’re dying from blood loss? I think you lose consciousness first, and then you drift away until your heart stops beating.
Does it hurt?
“Can I light the candles?”
“Later. Okay?”
Those voices again. I can’t take it anymore. I try to tune them out, but then the intercom falls silent.
I look at Mint, who is picking up each of the candles in turn and looking underneath them.
What are we actually hoping to find?
Cleo won’t let us go. She’s going to let me bleed to death in here.
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I think about the key Mint and I found in Lia’s room. What little hope we had has disappeared.
And then I remember the conversation I didn’t get to finish with Mint just before we lifted up the floorboard.
“You never finished telling me about your fight with Alissa and Miles….”
Mint is searching the rest of the living room. She ignores my comment.
“Mint?”
Mint looks at me. “Just leave it.”
“Why?”
“You won’t believe me anyway. Certainly not now.”
“Because I’m in love with him, you mean?”
Will I ever get used to saying it out loud?
“Exactly.” Mint sighs. “Miles threatened me. He put his hand on my throat and pressed with his thumb. Here.” Mint points at a place on her throat. “He told me not to go shooting my mouth off to Alissa about what I saw.”
It’s all too much for me.
“He tried to strangle you?”
“He threatened me,” says Mint. “He’s smart enough not to leave any marks.”
Is this about the same Miles I know? Mint’s right. I don’t believe her.
Miles is calmness itself. He never gets mad, even at the pizzeria when something goes wrong with an order. On a busy day, when everyone else is stressed out, he keeps his cool. I’ve never heard him curse or raise his voice.
“Yesterday I saw him flip out at someone who was walking past.”
I try to picture it, but I can’t do it.
“That someone was Cleo.”
I feel a shiver run down my back, but oddly it’s dripping with sweat at the same time. My hand is throbbing with pain.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Mint comes to sit next to me. I look at her short hair. She let Alissa cut it to save my so-called girlfriend. Mint always does everything for everyone else. Why would she lie about this? I think she’s terrified of Miles.
Then I remember the way he looked at me when I said I liked him. Miles’s eyes were so cold that I thought I’d never feel warm again. I could imagine that Miles getting mad. That Miles could definitely have threatened Mint. And apparently he’s met Cleo before.
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