‘I don’t like leaving you.’ His gaze was intent on her still pale face. ‘Not when you aren’t feeling well yourself.’
‘I’m all right now. Really,’ she insisted as he went to protest. ‘Just get her to the hospital.’
She finally managed to get them out of the house, Ian sitting in the back of the car with Laura while Jordan drove them. ‘And I want to know the minute the baby is born,’ she instructed.
‘You take care of yourself,’ Laura ordered meaningly. ‘We’ll send Jordan straight back to you.’
‘Thank you,’ he put in dryly. ‘I thought I asked you not to make it tonight,’ he teased.
Laura giggled, some of the tension easing. ‘I could make it right here in your car if you don’t hurry!’
‘Heaven forbid!’ Jordan groaned, putting the car into gear. ‘I’ll be back soon, Kelly.’
She stood and watched them until the tail-lights of the car disappeared in the distance, going back into the house to methodically wash and dry up before tidying the kitchen as well as the dining-room, glad of something to do to take her mind off Laura and the coming baby.
Eight months from now she would be going through the same thing Laura was now experiencing—and Jordan wouldn’t be there. It was curiously ironic that he should drive Laura to the hospital, when he wouldn’t even know of his own child’s birth.
Jordan arrived back just over an hour later, joining Kelly in the lounge. ‘It could be hours yet,’ he shrugged. ‘Ian’s promised to call us as soon as there’s any news. Right now I intend getting you home to bed. You look washed out.’
Kelly flushed. ‘I feel fine.’
‘You don’t look it,’ he said firmly. ‘Home, to bed and a hot drink.’
‘And you?’ she asked huskily, suddenly longing for his closeness.
‘Me?’ he echoed sharply, turning away. ‘No,’ he said tautly, ‘I don’t think so.’
She lapsed into silence, joining him in the warm interior of the car. She had needed him tonight, and once again he had rejected her. She wouldn’t ever ask again.
Her father was already in bed when they got home, and yawning tiredly Kelly elected to go to her bedroom. Jordan made no effort to stop her, his mood once more taciturn and unapproachable.
She had been in bed several minutes when the light knock sounded on the door. Jordan entered at her surprised acknowledgement, a tray in his hand.
‘Cocoa,’ he said at her questioning look, sitting on the side of the bed.
She took the mug from him, the colour high in her cheeks. She hadn’t expected to see him again this evening, and his presence here now unnerved her. ‘What’s that?’ she eyed the tablet he held out to her.
‘You’re over-excited, and this waiting to hear about Laura won’t do you any good. This is just a sleeping tablet—’
‘No!’ she recoiled in horror. ‘I don’t want it!’
‘It won’t harm you. It’s only one of the tablets prescribed to help your father sleep.’
And could do irrevocable harm to her baby! ‘I don’t like taking drugs of any kind,’ she said stiffly.
‘Neither do I. But this isn’t taking drugs for the sake of it. I just happen to believe you need to sleep right now.’
Kelly knew of a much more pleasurable way of helping her sleep, and her cheeks became flushed at her thoughts. She knew Jordan had guessed them by the sharpening of his gaze, and she bristled angrily. ‘I’ll get to sleep without the use of drugs,’ she told him tautly, and turned on to her side, her back towards him. ‘Goodnight,’ her voice was muffled.
She could hear him moving about the room, and suddenly felt the other side of the bed give as he climbed in beside her, the warmth of his naked body curved into the back of hers. She had stiffened at the first touch of his flesh against her, but as usual the warm tide of sensuality washed over her, trembling as he caressed the curve of her waist and thigh.
‘Turn out the light,’ he murmured against her earlobe, biting gently into her skin.
‘Jordan…’ she said achingly.
‘Don’t turn me away, Kelly. Not tonight. I need you.’
She had no intention of turning him away, reaching out her hand to turn off the light before rolling over to face him. What followed was beautiful, the complete opposite of their last two intimate encounters. Jordan made wild, beautiful love to her, raising her to the heights and holding her there until he took them both trembling over the edge to ecstatic delight.
Jordan had already left the bedroom when she woke the next morning, but she had a memory of them closely entwined all night. As usual no word had been spoken between them, and yet the wonder still stayed with Kelly, the warmth and love she felt towards Jordan threatening to overwhelm her.
If only it could always be this way! But it couldn’t. Soon her pregnancy would be obvious even to the least discerning eye—and Jordan was far from being that! He saw all too much.
He came into the room now without knocking, carrying a breakfast tray this time. ‘Laura tells me I’m to give breakfast in bed to her son’s godmother,’ he explained with a smile.
Kelly’s eyes lit up with pleasure and she sat up in the bed, pulling the sheet up to cover her nakedness as Jordan’s gaze unashamedly lingered on her bare breasts. ‘Laura has a son?’ she asked excitedly.
‘Ian does too,’ he told her mockingly.
She gave him an impatient glance. ‘How are they both?’
‘Well, Ian is bearing up very well. All right, all right!’ he held his hands up defensively as Kelly looked like throwing a pillow at him. ‘Laura and the baby are both doing well. He weighed seven pounds six ounces, and has been named Anthony Michael.’
‘After Laura’s father,’ Kelly nodded.
‘And Ian’s,’ Jordan put in dryly.
Kelly eyed him mischievously. ‘Are you going to stand there all day with my breakfast?’
With a smile he placed the tray across her legs. ‘I seem to remember you only liked tea and toast for your breakfast.’
‘Lovely,’ she smiled up at him. ‘Am I really going to be Anthony’s godmother?’
‘Mm.’ He sat on the bed beside her, very dark and virile in faded denims and blue fitted shirt. ‘And I’m designated the role of godfather,’ he drawled.
Kelly busied herself with buttering her toast and pouring out her tea. ‘And when do they expect the christening to take place?’ she asked casually.
‘I don’t suppose they’ve really thought about it. When do they usually take place?’
‘About six months after the birth, I think.’
‘Then that’s when they’ll have it.’
‘But we won’t be together then,’ she reminded him.
‘No,’ Jordan said tightly, ‘I don’t suppose we will.’
‘You know we won’t.’ Kelly sipped her tea, feeling the nausea leaving her.
‘Last night meant—nothing to you?’ He stood up, moving to look out of the window.
Kelly looked up at him, wishing she could read something of his mood from the broadness of his back and muscular shoulders. ‘Did it mean anything to you?’
He spun round, pinpointing her with his icy grey eyes. ‘I asked first.’
She looked down at her toast. ‘It—I enjoyed it,’ she admitted frankly.
She could feel his violence reaching out to her across the room. ‘I know that, damn you!’ he snapped savagely. ‘I asked if it meant anything?’
Kelly’s expression was challenging. ‘And I asked you the same thing.’
‘Oh, to hell with it!’ He slammed out of the room.
Her father had just finished his breakfast when she came down the stairs, looking up to smile at her. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked her. ‘First of all Jordan says he’s taking the day off work and now he’s gone in after all.’
That was news to Kelly, both the day off and the fact that Jordan had now gone to work. ‘He’s busy,’ she shrugged off the subject. ‘Where did you get to last night?�
�� she asked him teasingly.
‘Didn’t Jordan tell you?’ He went slightly red.
‘No.’ Kelly noticed the high flush to his cheeks. ‘Come on, Dad, tell me about it. You look like a pleased little boy.’
He blushed again. ‘I think I’m in love, Kelly,’ he told her almost ruefully.
‘Dad!’ Her eyes widened. ‘When did this happen?’
‘The last few weeks,’ he said bashfully.
‘And am I allowed to know the name of this woman you love?’
‘You already know her,’ he smiled. ‘I’m in love with Anne—Anne Fellows.’
‘Anne—?’ Kelly paled. ‘I—I didn’t realise.’
Oh God, her father had fallen in love with the woman who was secretly meeting Jordan! It seemed that both she and her father had been taken for a fool. But how could Jordan let her father be used like that? Even though he had no love for her she had at least thought Jordan liked and respected her father.
‘Well, I’m a bit old to be thinking of marrying again,’ her father began.
‘At fifty-one?’ she teased, feeling numb inside.
‘Even at forty-six,’ he grimaced. ‘But I am seriously thinking about it. How would you feel about having Anne as your stepmother?’
Kelly bit her lip. ‘Don’t you think you should ask her first?’
‘I suppose so. I hear your friend had her baby,’ he changed the subject.
‘Mm. I thought I’d telephone the hospital and see if I could get in to see her today.’ She had been going to ask Jordan to go with her, and wanted to test his reaction to the baby, but now that was out of the question. ‘I think I’ll give them a call now.’
‘Are you sure going to the hospital is a good idea?’ her father asked in a worried voice.
Kelly gave him a sharp glance. ‘What do you mean?’
He looked uncomfortable now. ‘I—You—Jordan told me about your losing the baby five years ago,’ he explained awkwardly.
‘Oh, did he?’ she said dully. She shrugged. ‘I’m over that now, Daddy.’ Besides, she had a new life growing inside her, a life that just had to flourish. Nothing would happen to this baby, she wouldn’t let it. ‘And Laura would think if odd if I didn’t go.’
‘I suppose so,’ he agreed reluctantly.
Kelly visited Laura several times during the next week, loving little Anthony Michael. He was a very contented baby, lying quite happily in his crib, unless of course he wanted his food. Jordan visited Laura too, although at different times from Kelly; he also sent a lovely bouquet of white roses, and a huge teddy bear for Anthony.
‘It’s bigger than he is,’ Laura joked once she was back in her own home again, the baby asleep upstairs in his nursery.
‘He’ll grow,’ Kelly smiled.
Laura had been home two days now, and it was ten days since the baby’s birth, ten days during which Kelly hardly ever saw Jordan. If he wasn’t working then he was out, on business or simply for his own pleasure he didn’t bother to tell her. In fact, they hardly spoke any more, not since the morning Jordan had slammed out of her bedroom.
‘And you,’ Laura said gently, interrupting her thoughts. ‘You’re growing nicely, too.’
Kelly looked down ruefully at her thickening waistline. ‘Aren’t I just?’ she grimaced.
‘Jordan still doesn’t know?’
She looked away. ‘No.’
‘And the doctor, have you seen him yet?’
‘This afternoon.’
‘Well, at least that’s something,’ Laura said approvingly.
‘I’ve been putting it off,’ she admitted. ‘I’m not greatly enamoured of doctors myself. But Paul Anderson is very good.’
Laura nodded. ‘I’ve heard that he is.’
Kelly stood up. ‘I have to be going now, my appointment is in half an hour.’
‘I hope everything goes all right,’ Laura told her. ‘You’ll call me?’
Kelly assured her she would. ‘Don’t get up,’ she advised as Laura tried to struggled to her feet, bending down to kiss her affectionately on the cheek. Laura and she had become very close the last few weeks, and Laura was the nearest thing she had to a sister.
Kelly waited nervously outside the doctor’s office, the receptionist occasionally giving her a friendly smile. She knew her pregnancy was a reality, that wasn’t what was worrying her. She just had a dread of being told there was anything wrong with this pregnancy.
She looked up as Paul Anderson came out of his office, a welcoming smile on his face. He was a tall loose-limbed man in his early fifties, still quite handsome, although his hair was iron grey now.
‘Mrs Lord,’ he shook her hand warmly as she stood up. ‘Come into my office,’ he invited, seeing her seated before going behind the mahogany desk and sitting opposite her. ‘I was hoping to see you here again,’ he smiled.
Kelly played with the strap of her handbag, her hands suddenly hot and clammy. She sat on the edge of her seat, every muscle poised for flight. ‘You—you were?’ she licked her lips nervously.
‘Oh yes,’ he nodded. ‘Your husband isn’t with you?’
‘Er—no. He—he had to work.’
‘Mm, I remember he was a busy man. Still, shall we get the examination over with first, and then we can discuss things more clearly.’
Kelly suffered the examination with gritted teeth, although Paul Anderson couldn’t have been gentler, and dressed with shaking hands while he went to wash his hands.
‘Well,’ he gave a satisfied smile ‘I’m happy to diagnose that you are pregnant.’
Her breath left her in a sigh, relieved it had been confirmed, even if she had already known it to be fact.
He wrote something down in his notes, Kelly’s file open in front of him. ‘Five or six weeks, I should say,’ he murmured thoughtfully.
‘Six and a half,’ Kelly muttered.
His raised questioning blue eyes. ‘You’re that sure of the date?’
Her cheeks blazed with colour. ‘Yes.’
‘Oh well, that stops a lot of speculation. Of course, the same problems are going to apply.’
She frowned her puzzlement. ‘Problems?’
‘Yes,’ he smiled. ‘You’re going to have to be just as careful.’
‘But surely that’s only natural?’
‘I meant extra-careful, as you were before.’
‘Not careful enough, apparently,’ she recalled with some bitterness.
‘No,’ the doctor agreed gravely. ‘Perhaps this time you’ll remember that pregnant ladies, especially ones as delicate as you, do not go running about the streets,’ he told her sternly.
Kelly looked even more puzzled. ‘Delicate? I’m delicate?’
‘Extremely so,’ he nodded.
She licked her lips. ‘Tell me more.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s the same as before, nothing has changed. You have a weakness to your muscles that makes it extremely difficult for you to carry a child the full nine months. Your husband will have told you—’
‘Jordan?’ she cut in sharply, hardly able to believe what he was telling her.
‘Yes—Jordan. I’m sure he doesn’t relish being banished from your bed once again,’ he gave a sympathetic smile. ‘Although this time you’ll have the advantage of not being newlyweds.’
Kelly was very pale, finding it more and more difficult to take in what the doctor was telling her. ‘Are you saying that you advised Jordan to sleep in a separate bedroom to me five years ago?’
‘Not exactly. But under the circumstances I’m sure he would have found it difficult sharing a bed with you and not being able to continue a normal relationship.’
‘My God!’ she gasped. All this time she had thought Jordan had been disgusted by her pregnancy, and in reality he had merely been protecting her and their unborn child. Oh heavens, what did it all mean?
CHAPTER TEN
WHEN she came to she was lying on top of the black leather couch in the doctor’s surgery, and Paul Anderso
n was anxiously waiting for her to wake up. It all came back to her now—her difficulty in carrying a child, Jordan’s protectiveness in the past. But why hadn’t he told her, explained why he had left her alone in their bed night after night?
‘You didn’t know, did you?’ the doctor sighed.
‘No,’ she said shakily, ‘I—I had no idea.’
‘I naturally assumed that your husband would have told you by now.’
‘My husband and I separated just after I lost the baby,’ she told him dully, swinging her legs to the floor and sitting up.
‘I see.’ He looked slightly taken aback. ‘Then this baby—’
‘Is his,’ Kelly interrupted firmly. ‘A temporary reconciliation,’ she blushed at his questioning look. ‘But that isn’t important now, what is important, to me at least, is that I don’t lose this baby.’
‘It’s important to me too, Mrs Lord,’ Paul Anderson told her gravely.
‘Of course it is—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to appear rude.’ She was just so shocked by what he had told her that she couldn’t even think straight! ‘Just tell me what I have to do to keep this baby and I’ll to it. Anything,’ she stressed vehemently.
‘Well…’
‘Yes?’ she demanded to know. ‘Do you have something in mind?’
He nodded. ‘But it isn’t very pleasant.’
‘I said anything, Dr Anderson, and that’s exactly what I meant.’
‘All right,’ he shrugged. ‘But don’t say I didn’t warn you. The ideal solution is for you to spend the duration of your pregnancy in bed, either at home or in a nursing home.’
‘All of it?’ she asked incredulously.
‘I’m afraid so. That way there would be hardly any risk.’
‘Then I’ll do it,’ Kelly decided. ‘When would it have to start?’
‘As soon as possible.’ The doctor frowned. ‘You’re sure about this? It isn’t a decision to be made lightly. Perhaps you should discuss it with your husband first.’
‘No,’ she looked down at her hands. ‘I told you, our reconciliation was temporary.’ She lifted her head proudly. ‘It’s over.’ She now knew the reason Jordan had moved out of their bedroom, but that in no way excused his affair with Angela Divine. Most men wouldn’t have found it too difficult to remain faithful to a delicately pregnant wife, but with Jordan’s high sex drive he hadn’t been able to remain faithful for even a matter of weeks, let alone months.
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