The Chalupa Conundrum

by Lyle Christie

  “Um, I don’t mean to be a wet blanket here, but I kind of hate to just be a silly revenge tactic.”

  “Well, depending upon how well you make love to me, it might not be.”

  I smiled.

  “Good answer, but, seriously, don’t you think this is a little rash? We’ve only known each other for about a half an hour,” I said.

  “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

  “A Ferris Bueller quote. Now, I’m even more aroused.”

  “I can feel that. So, are you ready to pay up on our little wager?”

  “What did you have in mind?” I asked.

  “I’ve decided that you must make mad, passionate love to me.”

  “That’s not a bad consolation prize, and, as a gentleman, it’s my obligation to honor the bet, though it would be hard to say no, considering that you literally have me by the balls at the moment.”

  “Exactly, so it’s best not to disappoint me.”

  “Agreed, though I still feel a bit awkward waltzing into your life only long enough to provide a brief moment of sexual respite.”

  “Who’s to say this isn’t the spark to make us fall madly in love? Now, man-up, because God only knows how long we have until the lord of the manor finishes his business, and by that I mean fucking your hot archaeologist.”

  “Wait a minute. Do you really think they’re getting it on right now?”

  “Yes, I’m afraid so. Now, Tag Finn, international man of mystery. Time to pay up on our bet.”

  Interesting. I wasn’t sure if I had a moral dilemma or not. I wasn’t dating anyone, least of all Professor Hot Sauce, but there was definitely something going on between us. Or at least I thought so until I learned the truth about her secret boyfriend being the fucking billionaire. I suppose the only real dilemma was whether or not I should accept Fabiana’s advances and engage in some sexual shenanigans with a complete stranger. Sure, I was completely attracted to her, but she was also emotionally vulnerable. Of course, those thoughts were rapidly fading the longer she held my tiller and steered me on a collision course with her vagina. Fuck it. A bet was a bet, and if this girl needed a little emotional refuge in the arms of a stranger, then who was I to deny her wishes. Besides, I was apparently a man-whore and officially becoming the king of the rebound and the patron saint to women in relationship flux.

  I looked into her beautiful eyes then kissed the lips that haunted the dreams of millions of men across the world. Fame was an unusual phenomena, and it did strange things to people’s perception, but, in reality, it was as immaterial as ether. Sure, I was kissing a supermodel, a face that I’d seen a hundred times, but now she was just Fabiana—a woman that I’d had the rare opportunity to meet and now kiss. I therefore decided she deserved all my attention, and every precious inch of her skin beckoned my lips, but I was facing a dilemma. I was mere seconds from releasing the seamen from my flesh submarine, and therefore, needed some time to get things under control. I departed from her lips to discover her staring longingly as I kissed the gentle curve of her neck, where I lingered for a moment before nibbling her ear lobe. It was but an appetizer to tease the palette and allow me to separate her hands from my manhood, and, upon gaining a precious moment to recover, I reached down and lifted her onto the side of the Jacuzzi. I felt the siren like call of her lips and returned for another kiss then journeyed south, all the while feeling as her heart started to beat visibly faster. I paused upon reaching her breasts and took them in my hands and ran my tongue over each generous nipple and only moved on once both were well tended and thick in their distended state of excitement.

  Having climbed to the peaks, it was time to head down to base camp. I kissed her stomach, and it elicited a subtle moan of anticipation, but, it was time to slow down and enjoy the journey by taking in every precious inch of supple flesh. I kissed her just below her bellybutton before moving on to do the same to her inner thighs then hovered over her clitoris, where my breath alone was enough to cause her to throw her head back and roll her eyes. I dropped my tongue down upon her essence then made a quick pass from top to bottom and back before pressing ever so gently down over her clitoris. She moaned in pleasure as I stayed in that spot and made slow deliberate circles until I could feel her entire body start to tense. On the cusp of climax, I dropped and plunged deep into her essence before returning once again to the lady of the manner. Again she started to approach release, but this time I slid my middle finger inside and pressed upward in order to combine both clitoral and Gräfenberg Spot stimulation. It was the winning combination, and soon she was calling out with her entire body spasming as she climaxed with the fury of a class five hurricane. When she finally relaxed she pulled me up and kissed me.

  As our lips met, I could feel her take hold of my manhood and guide it into her hot, wet essence, and I pressed slowly in and out until reaching full mount. She let out a soft moan then wrapped her long legs around my back, and I lifted her up into my arms, where the nature of the position intensified the stimulation to her clitoris. Now we were combining our strength and energy and moving together like two pistons on a crankshaft, and every cycle pushed us both closer to release. Only seconds passed, and Fabiana was calling out loudly, and I feared everyone within the Von Träger estate would hear our coital connection. Regardless, unbridled lust won the day over prudent discretion, and we continued to make sweet love as though we didn’t care who might hear. The end was coming, however, and cumming would be that end—at least for Fabiana. Utilizing timing and patience, I managed to keep up my efforts until she started into the throws of another orgasm, at which point she dug her nails into my shoulders and threw back her head and started calling out.

  “Oh God! Oh God! Oh my fucking God!” she screamed.

  Her entire body was quivering in sweet orgasmic pleasure until I lowered her back down to the edge of the Jacuzzi, where she gazed up at me with eyes lost in post coital euphoria.

  “Oh, fuck me—that was magnifico!” she said.

  “Magnifico? Now, that’s a word that isn’t used often enough.”

  “Then you aren’t making nearly as much love as you should.”

  Having my lovemaking skills described as magnifico was pretty cool, as it was such a fanciful version of the word magnificent, and it made me feel like a character from some early Italian Renaissance literature, which, in turn, pushed my self-esteem to an all time high.

  “Well, honestly, it takes two to tango. A great writer needs a muse, a painter a model, and me, a woman to take my breath away.”

  She smiled as she stepped forward and took hold of Tag Junior.

  “Now, I’m going to take your breath away—as well as something else,” she said.

  I stood in the bubbling Jacuzzi, and my manhood was serving as a bridge over the troubled waters of our mutual relationship woes to bring us together in a rather auspicious orientation. Fabiana’s right hand was firmly holding it by the base while her left was delicately cradling the stepchildren, and, using her tongue, she made several tortuously slow circles of the tip before engulfing it in her mouth. My breathing was becoming labored, and my heart was racing ever faster with each twist of her tongue, and, at this rate, it would be only seconds before I created my own manmade blizzard by engulfing the entire area in a winter wonderland of semen.

  As though reading my mind, she suddenly stopped, and, with a sinful smile playing on her lips, she looked up at me with her dazzling blue eyes then guided my manhood down towards her breasts and used it to tease her hard nipples. It was a decidedly interesting segue that brought my attention to her lovely bosom region, which really was utterly perfect. Her breasts were full and pert, and her hard nipples were pointing at me with a real confidence, and gazing at it all made me want her all the more. As if she could sense my deep desire, she brought the tip back to her mouth then performed a lovely circumnavigation with her tongue.

  “Have you ever wondered where they
got the term supermodel?” I asked.

  She paused and looked up at me, obviously curious why I had rudely interrupted her efforts.

  “I think it has to do with success and pay scale,” she responded.

  “That’s what they’d have you believe, but it’s actually a much more guarded secret, as it has to do with having super powers. Yours is obviously super felatio skills—and the subsequent ability to make men weak in the knees and mind.”

  “Very funny,” she said, giving my balls a subtle squeeze that let me know it was time to shut the fuck up.

  She leaned down and encircled the tip with her tongue yet again then smiled up at me.

  “Supermodel powers activate. Form of a vacuum,” she said.

  Ha! She had just made an obscure reference to an old cartoon called the Super Friends. In it, two of their minor superhero characters were a couple of fraternal twins who used to touch hands and say superpowers activate. At that point, they’d each add something like form of a giant hand and form of a five foot dildo, and the next thing you saw was a giant hand holding a giant dildo. Fabiana, therefore, not only had a good sense of humor, but also a legitimate superpower, and that meant it was time to be quiet and let God’s work be done—and God’s work it was. Sweet tingling balls, no word could adequately describe the pleasure other than—magnifico! My knees were weak, and my heart was pounding like a jackhammer as she pushed me closer and closer to the penultimate release.

  “Um—I’m about to—um. Oh shit—seriously now, I’m on the verge. You might want to step back. Oh shit—oh shit…”

  She gave my balls a forceful squeeze that I took as a signal to be quiet, and, in that silence, I spiraled forth unto an existential seminal awakening. My seed was plucked from my balls, and my world shrunk to the presence of myself and the woman in front of me until she at last eased her efforts and smiled before standing up and kissing me.

  “How refreshing,” she said.

  “What?”

  “Lars doesn’t like to kiss me after felatio,” she said.

  “Maybe his super power is being super insensitive. If a woman is nice enough to perform felatio, a man should at least acknowledge her gift with a kiss.”

  “Now that’s why I like American men. You’re more sensitive,” she said.

  “Both in terms of our penises and our hearts.”

  “Tag, I think this could be the beginning of something very special,” she said.

  “Fabiana, I’m pretty damn sure it is.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The Road Trip Counter Interrogation

  WE CLIMBED OUT of the Jacuzzi, dried off, and returned to the pool and sat under an umbrella as we relaxed and gazed out at the view. As the estate was built on top of the mountain, we could see for miles in every direction, which also included the Chalupa Waterfall and the very tip of the Chalupa pyramid. It wasn’t the worst view I could imagine, so I was curious as to how much longer I’d get to sit here and relax with my new and awesomely naked friend. I looked at my watch and realized quite a chunk of time had passed, and that made me wonder how things were going with Lars and Alessandra’s apparent meeting. A short time later, the same servant from earlier appeared and asked if we needed anything, and Fabiana ordered some finger sandwiches and sparkling water. Perfect. I could use some calories after all the swimming and sex. The woman reappeared soon thereafter with a tray, and Fabiana and I enjoyed a rather nice lunch beside the pool.

  After finishing two of the delicious little sandwiches, I cast my gaze up at the castle and saw a figure in a white terry cloth robe appear in one of the windows. As I looked closer, I realized it was Alessandra, and, as she gazed down at the pool, she saw me looking up at her, and she quickly turned and disappeared back inside. This was definitely going to make for some pretty interesting conversation when we got on the road for the drive back to San Jose. I turned my attention back to Fabiana to see her stand and head towards the main table, and I couldn’t help but relish every step as she walked over the stone patio. Her firm, round, tan, and decidedly curvaceous backside moved up and down above her athletic thighs, and I was happy to see that she wasn’t one of those shapeless super thin supermodels and instead had some rather delicious meat on her bones. She grabbed her iPhone then began her sultry return, which inadvertently made her fabulous breasts bounce along in joyous time with each step. Sure, my balls had been emptied only minutes ago, but I could already feel them refilling due to my close proximity to the extremely sexy Fabiana

  “I need to get your contact information,” she said, as she sat down beside me.

  “Yeah, and I might need to masturbate after that little runway show.”

  “Seriously? All I was doing was walking.”

  “Exactly.”

  She smiled.

  “So, seriously now—I meant what I said earlier about this possibly being the spark to ignite an exciting new romance.”

  “Well, as far as I’m concerned, the fire is already lit.”

  “Agreed.”

  I gave her all my relevant details including name, number, address, favorite color, pant and shirt size, as well as the various sexual positions we might want to try in the future, and, to her credit, she put it all in her phone then took a picture of me to complete the contact file.

  “Oh, do you mind if I take a picture with the two of us and send it to my iPhone?” I asked.

  “Not at all, as long as you can promise it doesn’t end up on the internet or the tabloids.”

  “I promise. It’s just for two of my friends who are absolutely in love with you. I kind of like to torture them and figured a picture with you would probably be about the meanest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “Here, sit beside me,” she said.

  I moved beside her, and she switched the camera view, so we could both see each other in the display. At that point, I adjusted the framing to make sure that it was just our faces, but Fabiana readjusted it to include her beautiful bare breasts.

  “If you’re going to stab them in the heart, you might as well twist the blade,” she said.

  “Indeed,” I said, as I brought up her email program and sent the pic to my iPhone, which was currently back in my room at the University.

  Once finished, I started to get up to move back to my seat, but Fabiana stopped me.

  “Not so fast, as I wonder if you wouldn’t mind putting some sunblock on my back.”

  “Back, front, middle—wherever you need it, I’ll put it.”

  “How about all of the above.”

  Fabiana reached under her chair and pulled out a bottle of sunblock, and I slid behind her on the lounger then poured a goodly amount in my hands and began rubbing it in. The task was made a hell of a lot easier without their being those pesky bikini strings, and, as I finished with her back, she stood, turned around, and sat back down between my thighs.

  “Ok, now the front,” she said.

  I had kind of been joking earlier, but now that I was staring at her rather lovely breasts square in the nipples, I found myself completely absorbed in my task. Needless to say, blood started rushing to my nether regions, and, in spite of our very recent coitus, I had a one way ticket to Bonerville, Costa Rica. Fabiana smiled and leaned in and kissed me as she took hold of Tag Junior and gave him a playful caress.

  “Perhaps we should head back to the Jacuzzi,” she said.

  Just then, Lars’s voice came echoing from somewhere nearby, and Fabiana managed to quickly turn around and use her body to block the view of my emerging hard-on. Lars appeared a second later, and he was smiling, and his skin was looking a bit flushed, thereby confirming what we already suspected.

  “Hello again, I’m sorry to have made you wait so long, so I hope Fabiana has kept you entertained.”

  “Oh yes—she’s an excellent hostess.”

  “Fabiana, do you mind if I speak with Tag alone for a minute?”

  “Not at all,” she said.

  Uh oh—I was getting the feel
ing that I was about to experience a serious machismo moment. It was all well and good for a Latin man to cheat on his girlfriend, but God forbid she cheat on him. As Fabiana stood up, she managed to snag a nearby towel and place it over my manhood. Crisis averted! Lars, meanwhile, sat in the adjacent chair and raised his hand.

  “Louise!”

  The same servant girl appeared.

  “Two glasses of Cacique Guaro,” he said.

  Oh shit. I sure hope I didn’t start seeing Chalupa’s demon faced minions again.

  She returned a moment later with two small glasses of the liqueur, and Lars handed me one and then took the other.

  “To women,” he said, raising his glass to mine.

  “To women,” I responded.

  After we chugged the liqueur, Lars’s look turned serious.

  “I need to talk to you about something,” he said.

  “Fire away,” I responded, thinking perhaps I should have used a different phrase—one that didn’t imply him shooting me.

  “Having seen Alessandra in my window as you did, I suspect you have come to certain conclusions.”

  “I didn’t really see much. The sun was in my eyes.”

  “Please, we both know exactly what you saw, so there is no need to beat around the bush here.”

  Holy shit. Lars wasn’t here to berate me about boning Fabiana. He was worried about me revealing his relationship with Alessandra!

  “Look, Lars. Whatever you and Alessandra are up to is your business. The only thing I have any interest in at the moment is finding the UCLA Team.”

  And perhaps making sweet love to your beautiful girlfriend again.