"And if I disagree?" Rayne could tell from the expression on Sarah's face that she believed what she said. That was good. It gave him hope.
"Then I would say that you are likely blinded by love or a fool. And you, Sarah Tillsbury, are no fool." Her eyes were guarded now. "But know this. I love you." Those three little words took so much effort to say, but once he had spoken them aloud, Rayne was quite astounded at how much better he felt. "Sarah, I have loved you since we were both children, I think. In fact, I cannot remember a time when I did not love you."
At his warm admission, he expected that she would run straight into his arms. When she didn't, still standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, he began to grow a bit concerned. And confused. He had just confessed to being in love with her. Was that not what she wanted?
"Sarah? Aren't you going to say anything?" Rayne reached for her but then dropped his hand when she made no move towards him. "I have just told you that I love you. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
She was silent for a moment before she sighed. "It does. In fact it means everything to me, Rayne. But..."
"But?" He still wasn't certain what she wished for him to say so he decided to take a stab in the dark and hope his blade hit his target. It was the best he could hope for he supposed. "I am also very, very sorry for how I have hurt you. I didn't mean to. Love is...a difficult thing for me."
She didn't immediately say anything so he blundered on, hoping that at least something that he said made sense to her. "I adored my father and he died. I loved my mother but for a very long time, she retreated from me. She left me alone with my uncle who most certainly did not love me. Or my sisters. And I loved them. So very much. But he took them away from me too, sending me off to school long before I was ready. You know this, Sarah. You know my past, just as I know yours." He reached for her and this time, she did not pull away. "Everyone I ever loved has left me, Sarah. I have been hurt when they departed, whether it be through death or withdrawal or simply because I was sent away. And it hurt, far more than I can explain."
"You were afraid that I would leave you as well." Her voice was soft.
Slowly, he brushed his thumb over the bare skin of her arm. "I knew that you would. Because Frost had decreed it. None of his friends could court you. So I stayed away. I was afraid of getting too close because I knew that in the end, I would lose you. And losing you, Sarah? That would destroy me, for no other woman means as much to me as you do."
"Except that you wouldn't lose me." She took an infinitesimal step closer. "I spoke with my brother the morning you left me. That edict wasn't meant for you, you great, bumbling idiot. Even when we were children, Frost knew that you cared for me and he wanted to leave your path clear should you decided to court me. In fact, I believe that it was his hope that we would suit." She rolled her eyes in frustration. "Though he is an idiot as well because he never told you that part of things. Nor me."
Rayne was so shocked that he thought that he might be dreaming. "You mean that..."
"That my brother approves?" She raised that infuriating eyebrow again. "Yes, he does. He always has."
"Then I hurt you for nothing." Rayne's face was awash in guilt.
"You did." A slow smile spread across Sarah's face. "But because you are a bloody idiot and not nearly as intelligent as everyone thinks you are, I suppose I shall forgive you."
Now it was Rayne's turn to smile as he pulled Sarah closer, deeper into his embrace. "If you do not, then I shall have to beg your forgiveness." He ran a hand up her arm and across her chest so that he could palm her breast.
"That could be...rather pleasant I think," Sarah hissed out as Rayne kneaded her flesh. "I might very well enjoy that."
"I know you would." His other hand on her hip, Rayne pulled her so close that she could feel his erection pressing into her. Then he nuzzled her ear. "I know you would indeed. Then he kissed her and Sarah's mind went blank - just as it always did when Rayne was around.
Chapter Twenty-Two
As Rayne nuzzled and kissed her neck, once more Sarah was thankful that she had a rather understanding family. Well, perhaps Frost would not be quite so understanding when he learned that she had requested that Timothy saddle Glory for her so that she could ride out early several days after she had awoken alone in the summerhouse. The plan, or at least the plan proposed by Frost had been for the entire family to wait until the wedding celebration concluded and then ride as a group to Fieldown so that Sarah could give Rayne another chance.
However that night when sleep eluded her, she had dressed and ventured back out to the summerhouse as the last of the summer daylight began to fade from the sky. When she arrived, the house was precisely as it had been the night before, save for the fact that someone - likely Frost - had ordered the doors closed to protect the Persian treasures.
As Sarah ventured inside, lantern in hand, she had smelled the spices and musky scent of Rayne all mixed together with some scent that was likely unique to Persia. And she had fallen in love all over again - not just with the man but what he had created as well. Created for her. Because she knew that much like the decor for the wedding ball, this room had not been designed for anyone other than her.
The more she looked around the summerhouse, the more Sarah knew that to be true. She had explored all of the dark corners of the room, poking into trunks and peeking under furniture covers until she was sneezing. What she found astounded her.
This little summerhouse held enough treasures for an entire manor house. It was, quite literally, stuffed to the rafters with furniture and silks, jewels and spices and perfumes. There were rugs and dishes and everything one would need to create a true and proper home. At first, everything had seemed to be nothing more than a jumbled mess, but then, Sarah understood what Rayne had been doing all along. He had, whether he knew it or not, been creating a home - not just for him under the guise of storage, but for her as well.
The gowns she found were in her size and in her favorite colors. The spices were ones she had enjoyed from the samples he often brought back from his expeditions and shared with the cooks in the Tillsbury kitchens. Even the bottle of perfumed oil she had discovered locked in a padded trunk smelled of something both exotic and yet somehow familiar at the same time. Something that Rayne likely knew would appeal to her.
He loved her. Sarah could see that love in every corner of this room. For why else would a man purchase things that only a woman could use and appreciate? If not for love? She still didn't understand the purpose of storing these treasures here at Hallowby. Or perhaps she did. Perhaps she was meant to stumble upon this treasure trove and understand what Rayne was attempting to say without words.
He might be a scholar, but he feared words. Or certain ones anyway. She knew him well enough to understand that much.
So, even knowing that her family would be displeased, Sarah had gone to the stables and had the grooms saddle Glory for her one morning when she had awoken feeling restless and knowing that she could not wait any longer to find Rayne. Frost claimed that he didn't know where Rayne had gone, but now, after seeing the summerhouse, Sarah had a very good guess - Oakwood. The one place he could go where his mother would not come to look for him. The one place he could have, at some point, had redecorated with at least some of the massive amount of the Persian-themed furniture he had brought back with him.
Rayne liked to hide - behind words, behind actions, and yes, even behind walls. Oakwood was that for him, the one place he likely felt that he would not be disturbed. Well Sarah had every intention of disturbing him as soon as she possibly could.
The journey had taken longer than she had expected and she had pushed her poor horse to the limit, including riding deep into the night, sticking to the back roads so that she would not be spotted out alone. Or accosted. Or worse. It was a risk, but one she was willing to take to find Rayne and have some time alone with him before her family came looking for her. She had only stopped for the night when it had grown
too dark to continue and even then, she did not completely rest, knowing she was out alone and vulnerable. Though she had remembered to take the pistol from its hiding place in the parlor's wall safe. There was some comfort in that at least.
Sarah hadn't anticipated any of these particular complications but she had gone too far to back down. So when the early streaks of dawn had kissed the sky, she had mounted her horse once more and ridden on, knowing that she likely wasn't far from her destination. And praying that she would be well-received when she arrived there.
By the time she had ridden into Oakwood's stables that morning, she smelled of sweat and horse and Glory was severely lagging. However, Murphy, Oakwood's head groom assured Sarah that her mare would be well treated and, with proper care, would recover in no time. Murphy, she noted, was not in the least bit surprised to see her.
Nor was Mrs. Booth the housekeeper who had offered Sarah some breakfast - likely the one meant for Rayne - as well as a bath and some time to freshen up before she confronted the man she loved. It was then that Sarah was thankful she had thought to pack the extra gown in her traveling valise. It would not do to seduce a man reeking of unpleasant odors.
Sarah also had to hope that Rayne would not immediately question how, precisely, she had come to be there at Oakwood. Alone. That was a discussion best saved for later. Preferably very much later. Or never if at all possible.
She had also anticipated that forcing Rayne to confess his love for her would be far more difficult than it had been. When the words had tumbled so easily from his lips, Sarah had been momentarily stunned. And then angry. For if they came so easily to him now, why hadn't they before?
Then, as she had watched him struggle for the right words, she had felt her heart soften. This was Rayne. The man she loved. Yes, he had run, but she knew he had his reasons. Reasons that were no longer valid. Except that he didn't know that yet. And so she had forgiven him. Because what else could she do but that? She loved him. And love forgave all.
Now, he was kissing and caressing her as if he would never let her go. Much as she was enjoying his attentions, there were still a few more details to work out. Or at least in her opinion there were. And likely Frost's as well, at least if he was thinking clearly. It would be to their mutual benefit to have everything sorted out before her brother - and likely her mother and sisters and new sister in law - arrived as well.
"Rayne." Sarah pressed against his chest with her hand but he continued to kiss her ardently. Normally, she would be thrilled with his enthusiasm, but they really did need to settle this matter. Now. "Rayne!" she tried again, more forcefully this time. "We really must talk."
He grumbled as he kissed her. "I don't want to talk. I would rather bed you." Then she felt him grin against her neck. "Unless, of course, you object to that plan. Somehow, I do not think you will."
"Rayne!" This time her tone must have been sharp enough for he pulled back a bit and looked at her darkly.
"This really cannot wait?"
Sarah made a harrumphing sound. "No. It cannot. We need to make certain we both know what comes next."
He blinked several times as if not completely understanding her words. With his mussed hair and wearing his rather battered banyan, he looked utterly adorable. Yet Sarah knew she could not allow herself to be sidetracked.
"Yes. Next. For while I might have come here alone at the moment, you have to know that my family will eventually find me." She paused for a moment. "Or rather, find us." Actually, she was really not looking forward to that part in the least. Not at all. Frost had given Sarah his blessing where Rayne was concerned. That was not at all the same thing as giving her permission to dash off over the countryside in pursuit of him. Or to tumble back into bed with him the moment she located him.
It also occurred to her that she had now done the very thing Rayne had accused her of that day over a fortnight ago when he had stormed into Hallowby Grange in search of her. This time, she really had dashed off without thinking. She would likely pay for that as well. Oh well. It could not be helped. When a woman was in love, she did very foolish things, indeed.
When Sarah looked up at Rayne from where she was tucked against his chest, she was surprised to see that he was smiling, his eyes dancing with mirth. "Well that is easy, my darling Sarah. We shall wed by special license as soon as possible. I don't have a proper ring or anything at the moment, but I shall buy you one with utmost haste. We can even go to London if you like to see about one. After that, we shall dash off to Lord Candlewood's summer house party to celebrate our nuptials. Without your brother, if at all possible, though I doubt that it will be. I am certain he will be darkening my doorstep sooner or later. Likely sooner and also likely demanding to know what I have done with you. And how I propose to do right by you as well."
"Likely he will," Sarah agreed, knowing her brother. "But Frost does approve, so there is that."
"Indeed there is." Rayne kissed her again, harder this time until she parted her lips so that he could taste her sweetness. "And just so I am clear on the matter, I would wed you today if I could, Sarah. I do not wish for your brother to change his mind or for anyone, including the impossibly perfect Lord Lansdale, to come between us."
Sarah did not know quite what to say just then. "Rayne? Are you certain? I thought we might court a bit first."
"Do you really wish to wait?" He frowned. "I will, of course, if that is what you truly desire, but..."
"What I don't want is for you to feel trapped. Or rushed or pushed or any of those other things that men often feel in situations like this. Or so I am told. I simply want you to do what you feel you must. I will wait, Brook. As long as it takes. I have waited a lifetime for you, after all. Another month or two will not make much difference." Sarah pressed her hand to Rayne's chest and felt the steady beat of his heart beneath her palm. Oh, how she loved this man. "If you are not ready to wed, then I will understand."
Rayne shook his head adamantly. "I don't want to wait. We have wasted enough time. I love you, Sarah. And I cannot bear the thought of being without you. Not one moment more." Then he dropped to one knee and Sarah's breath caught in her throat. "Sarah Elinore Tillsbury, I love you with all of my heart and my soul. I would be lost without you and I would certainly die without you by my side for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"
"Yes." Sarah dropped to her knees as well, wanting to see the look in his beautiful amber eyes when she consented to be his wife. "Yes, Brook Ellesmere Bexley, I will marry you. I cannot think of anything I would love more than to marry you." Then she launched herself at him, clinging to him tightly and kissing him as if her life depended on it. In that moment, she felt as if it did. Or at least her happiness did.
She was uncertain how long they kissed, but as some point, Rayne shed his banyan and managed to get her out of her gown so that they were both naked. Then, he lifted her in his arms and carried her to his bed where he made slow and tender love to her for what seemed like hours upon end. He touched her everywhere, her body responding to his caresses as if she had been made just for him. In many ways, Sarah felt as if she had been, for she could imagine no more perfect man for her than Rayne.
When the afternoon finally stretched into night, they were still abed, but Sarah did not care in the least. This was where she needed to be. Where she wanted to be.
And when the sound of doors slamming came from the floor below and she was all but certain that it was her brother making that unholy racket, Sarah still refused to leave Rayne's side. She was at peace. She was happy. She felt as if she had come home. And she was also fairly certain that the infamous Earl of Heartbreak would never break another woman's heart ever again. For if he broke hers, she would likely kill him.
Epilogue
Late July 1820
Seldon Park
Sussex
As the glowing morning sun rose over Seldon Park, Rayne simply could not believe his good fortune. Or how his life had changed so much in a year. Last year during
Lord Candlewood's infamous summer house party, he had been holed up back in London allowing Marietta Crestwood to have her way with him. He had spent the summer hiding from just about everyone, including his family and friends. This year, he was in attendance at the fete and currently lying naked in bed next to his delectable wife of only a few short weeks. Lord only knew why Sarah had agreed to marry him that now-hazy afternoon. He was simply thankful that she had.
At his feet, he could hear both Toffee and Taffy making their pitiful meows. They wished to be on the bed with their mistress - as they were just about every morning. Well not this morning. This morning, Sarah belonged exclusively to Rayne. He had already taken her once, just before the sun began to rise, and was hoping to do so again before the rest of the household awakened. After all, neither he nor Sarah wished to miss breakfast and cause any more scandal than they already had. Just the fact that the infamous Earl of Heartbreak had finally settled down had been enough to set tongues to wagging from the moment he and Sarah had wed in the ancient chapel at Hallowby Grange in front of their family and friends. Including a very put out Frost who was still rather upset that Sarah had, in fact, ignored his suggestion that they all caravan rather sedately to Oakwood and then see about this "marriage business" as Frost had termed it.
Neither Rayne nor Sarah was still quite forgiven for that little incident, for according to Frost, rumors of Sarah's scandalous behavior had simply added fuel to an already raging fire where their courtship - such as it was - was concerned. So no, Rayne was not looking to cause yet more scandal if he could help it.
Then again, Rayne suspected that his old friend Lord Candlewood was likely still in bed with his own new bride at the moment. The man did not do anything by half measures, and they had all celebrated the various weddings long into the wee hours of the morning the previous night. So perhaps breakfast would be delayed after all.
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