Vamps & the City

by Kerrelyn Sparks

  Darcy studied the five women as they returned to their seats. They were smiling and evidently, quite proud of themselves. The more she thought about it, the more Darcy decided this was a good thing. These were women who had existed for centuries, never having to make an important decision for themselves. Tonight, they had managed to do it. True, they did it in defiance of her instructions, but still, it was a big step toward independence. They had every right to be proud.

  Their moment of glory would have to be short-lived, though. It was time for the big surprise of the evening. Darcy motioned for Gregori to approach.

  “Ready for all hell to break loose?” She passed him the flashlight containing a black light bulb.

  “Yep. Just tell me which guy to do last.”

  Darcy told him, then he strode back in front of the camera.

  “It’s time to take a closer look at the five men you rejected this evening.” Gregori aimed his flashlight at a portrait and switched it on. “With a total of five black orchids, Tadayoshi of Tokyo is eliminated from the competition.”

  Darcy turned off the track lighting. Gregori’s black light illuminated some previously invisible paint on Tadayoshi’s portrait. Suddenly, he acquired long, white fangs.

  “Oh, those are nice,” Cora Lee whispered. “But I was afraid he’d be one of those frightful ninja masters.”

  Darcy winced. That would be a good line to edit.

  “With four orchids beneath his portrait, Derek of Philadelphia will also be eliminated from the competition.” Gregori pointed the black light at Derek’s picture. His long fangs glowed in the dark.

  Vanda sighed. “What a shame we had to lose Blackula. He was so handsome.”

  Darcy agreed, though the other ladies looked doubtful.

  “Also with four black orchids, Harsha of New Delhi will be eliminated from the competition.” Harsha’s white fangs appeared like magic when the black light hit his face.

  “An interesting trick,” Princess Joanna admitted, “but I do not see a purpose for it.”

  “With three black orchids, we’ll be saying goodbye to Ferdinand of Salzburg.” Gregori shone his light on Ferdinand’s face, and the Austrian’s fangs gleamed.

  Lady Pamela sighed. “It is rather silly, isn’t it? We already know the men are vampires.”

  Maria Consuela fiddled with her rosary. “And if you’ve seen one fang, you’ve seen them all.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Vanda said with a grin.

  “Come to think of it, I have seen a few with a ghastly yellowish tint.” Lady Pamela shuddered. “There’s simply nothing worse than a vampire with poor dental hygiene.”

  Princess Joanna frowned. “And some of them are crooked.”

  “But some are longer than others,” Vanda said. “You know, size is important.”

  Cora Lee heaved a huge sigh. “My poor Beauregard, God rest his soul. He had the longest fangs I’ve ever seen.”

  Gregori frowned at them, clearly uncomfortable. “Ladies, if you don’t mind, we still have one more contestant to eliminate. Seth from New Jersey received three black orchids.” Gregori aimed his flashlight at Seth.

  The ladies waited.

  Vanda exchanged a look with Darcy.

  “Where are his fangs?” Lady Pamela asked.

  “I didn’t like him,” Cora Lee said. “His hairline is receding.”

  “His bloody fangs are receding,” Princess Joanna grumbled.

  “There must be something wrong with that painting.” Maria Consuela squinted at it.

  “No,” Gregori said quietly. “There’s nothing wrong with the painting.”

  The room fell silent. The ladies exchanged confused glances.

  Vanda rolled her eyes, obviously impatient with how slowly the women were thinking. “Gee, I wonder why he doesn’t have any fangs.”

  The four women gasped. Even Bart flinched and nearly dropped the camera.

  Princess Joanna jumped to her feet. “Are you saying there was a mortal in the contest?”

  Gregori shrugged. “Looks that way, doesn’t it?”

  Maria Consuela stood, clutching her rosary to her chest. “I demand a straight answer. Is that man a mortal?”

  “Yes,” Greg admitted. “He’s one of several mortal men in the contest.”

  The women gasped again.

  “Oh, my! This is horrid, simply horrid!” Lady Pamela fumbled in her reticule for her smelling salts.

  “This is an outrage!” Princess Joanna turned to Darcy, her eyes seething in anger. “How dare you sully our contest with mortals?”

  Vanda shrugged. “They might be cute.”

  Lady Pamela scoffed. “A mortal could never be the sexiest man on earth. The very notion is ludicrous.” She unscrewed the top off her vial of Chocolood. “I’m quite up in the boughs over this.”

  Princess Joanna strode toward Darcy. “How could you! We trusted you, and you have betrayed us.”

  “Indeed.” Lady Pamela sniffed at her vial. “First you put us in those dreadful servants’ quarters.”

  “And now,” Princess Joanna continued, “you insult us by forcing us to endure the company of mortals.”

  Cora Lee bounced to her feet. “We can’t have a mortal master!”

  “Then don’t pick a mortal,” Darcy told them. “Look, you’re still in control here. You’re the ones who decide which men are eliminated.”

  The women looked at each other.

  “Then tell us which ones are mortal,” the princess demanded.

  Darcy shook her head. “I can’t do that. You’ll have to figure it out yourselves.”

  “We can do that.” Maria Consuela clicked through her rosary. “We can smell them.”

  “Actually, you won’t be able to do that.” Darcy gave them all an apologetic look. “They’ll be wearing a vampire repellent anklet that will make them impossible to detect by smell.”

  Princess Joanna huffed. “Then we will read their minds.”

  “No, you signed a contract stating you wouldn’t.”

  “This is horrid, simply horrid.” Lady Pamela drank her entire vial of Chocolood.

  “Whatever will we do?” Cora Lee whimpered. “We can’t have a mortal master.”

  “We won’t.” Princess Joanna lifted her chin. “Darcy thinks to play this evil game with us, but she will see. The mortal men will not compare to the vampire men. We will detect them as easily as a terrier seeks out vermin.”

  Maria Consuela nodded. “Si, it is true. The vampire men will be naturally superior.”

  “Of course!” Lady Pamela pressed a hand to her bosom. “The mortal men will fail miserably at each of our tests.”

  “Yes.” Princess Joanna faced her co-judges with a fierce expression. “Hearken to me, ladies. We must be vigilant and eliminate this mortal threat.”

  The ladies huddled together, making their plans.

  “Sweet Mary and Joseph.” Maggie looked at Darcy. “I knew there was a reason for you to be here. Do you realize what you’ve done?”

  “Yeah. I made them hate me more than ever.”

  “No. Look at them. I’ve never seen them so excited, so impassioned. You’ve given them a purpose for their existence.”

  A chill inched down Darcy’s spine. Surely Maggie was exaggerating. She tended to be a bit overdramatic.

  A buzzing sound came from Darcy’s headphones and she slipped them on to listen.

  “May I have your attention, please?” Darcy waited for Bart to focus his camera on her. “The gentlemen are arriving.”

  Chapter 11

  Austin rode in the back of a Hummer limousine with six other men. Four of them were human for sure. He remembered George, Nicholas, and Seth from the auditions. And then, there was Garrett aka Garth. The humans had been instructed to come to the Rising Stars of Tomorrow Agency at nine P.M. with their luggage.

  A man from Romatech Industries had been there, a short chemist by the name of Laszlo Veszto. He’d given each of them a plastic anklet to we
ar underneath their socks. It had to be in contact with their skin. And they had to wear it for the entire duration of the show. When the men questioned why, the chemist replied with a convoluted explanation of pheromones.

  At nine-thirty, two Hummer limousines arrived at the agency with ten men. Austin figured they were the undead competition, but found it odd that the small chemist gave them anklets, too. The fifteen men climbed into the limousines for the short ride to Raleigh Place. Austin noted the vampires didn’t react like they normally did around humans. No sniffing, no hungry glances.

  Conversation was sparse on the short trip. No one wanted to reveal a weakness to another competitor. When they stopped in front of Raleigh Place, the vampire named Maggie greeted them and escorted them up to the penthouse. The huge foyer was empty. Maggie arranged the men in three rows on the staircase, the top row standing on the landing. She told them to wait, then headed down a hallway. The men exchanged nervous glances, though none of them spoke or acknowledged they were nervous.

  Soon, a cameraman came rushing down the hallway. He ran up the stairs and shot close-ups of each man. Austin couldn’t see Darcy anywhere. Then, he heard footsteps and feminine voices. The women were coming. Another cameraman was ahead of them, walking backwards. The male vampire, Gregori, was leading a group of five women. The judges, most likely. One of the ladies was the purple-haired Vanda, but the other four females were unknown. And strangely dressed. They had to be really old.

  Austin leaned forward to see further down the hallway. Yes, there she was. Way behind the others. Darcy was coming with the vampire Maggie. He leaned forward some more and nearly lost his balance. Thank God he was standing next to the railing, or he would have tumbled down the stairs. Damn, she looked good. She looked more than good.

  When she entered the foyer, her gaze wandered over all the contestants, then rested on him. He nodded his head slightly and smiled. She looked away. Austin kept his gaze on her, hoping she would glance his way again. But the longer he watched her, the more he realized she was looking everywhere but at him.

  “Gentlemen, welcome to The Sexiest Man on Earth.”

  Austin switched his gaze to the speaker.

  “My name is Gregori, and I’ll be your host.” He motioned toward a female vampire. “Maggie will be your hostess.”

  Austin glanced back at Darcy, wondering what kind of relationship she had with this Gregori. Was he hosting the show as a favor to her?

  “The five judges for this contest are standing before you,” Gregori continued. “May I introduce Princess Joanna, Maria Consuela, Lady Pamela, Cora Lee, and Vanda.”

  Vanda waved. The other ladies curtsied. Austin glanced back at Darcy, wondering how long she was going to ignore him.

  “Fifteen of you have arrived,” Gregori announced, “but only ten of you will remain. Our lady judges have already voted five of you off the show. But first, a word from our sponsor.”

  There was a silent pause. The male competitors exchanged glances. Austin figured this was a commercial break for Vampire Fusion Cuisine.

  “Welcome back.” Gregori smiled at a nearby camera. “It’s time to learn which five men will be going home tonight. They are,” he paused for dramatic effect, “Tadayoshi, Derek, Harsha, Ferdinand, and Seth. Gentlemen, you must take your leave. The limousines are waiting for you. As for the rest of you—your luggage will arrive shortly. Maggie and I will see you to your rooms. Congratulations and welcome.”

  As Austin shook hands with Seth, he felt relief that there would be one less human in the penthouse to protect. He glanced down at the foyer and saw that the five vampire judges had left. So had Darcy and the cameramen. Shoot, that was it? Apparently, they were done for the night.

  The limo drivers brought all the luggage into the foyer, and the men descended the stairs to collect their bags. The five losers for the night left with the limo drivers.

  Maggie escorted Austin and five other contestants to the east wing of the penthouse. She pointed out the kitchen, fitness room, and sauna. “There are three bedrooms on this side. You’ll need to share rooms.” She looked at a clipboard she was carrying. “I have Reginald and Pierre in one room, Garth and George together, and Nicholas and Adam together.”

  Austin exchanged a relieved look with Garrett. Thank God they didn’t have to share rooms with a vampire.

  “Where is the director’s office?” Austin asked.

  “Darcy’s in the pool house.” Maggie gave him a curious look. “Why? Is there a problem?”

  “No, not at all.” He silently cursed as he lugged his bag up the back stairs to the second floor. The pool house? Who the hell used a pool house for an office? He’d put a camera in the penthouse library, expecting that to be her office. He hadn’t put any cameras in the damned pool house.

  Maggie showed Reginald and Pierre to their room first. Then, she led the four humans to their rooms. Austin’s bedroom was next door to Garrett’s.

  “The kitchen is fully stocked with drinks and snacks,” Maggie explained. “A caterer will bring you hot meals each day. For security reasons, please do not go into any other bedrooms. You may leave the building as long as you’re back in time for the show each evening. Since we will be recording at night, we are encouraging all contestants to sleep during the day.”

  Austin suppressed a laugh. Right, some of the contestants were dead during the day.

  “We’ll begin recording tomorrow night at eight P.M. in the library. Good night.” With a final smile, Maggie left.

  The men rolled their luggage into their bedrooms. Austin hefted his suitcase onto his bed and removed his laptop. He glanced at Nicholas. “I hope you don’t mind if I use the desk.”

  “No, not at all.” Nicholas dropped his bag on his bed. “I’m starving. Want to check out the kitchen?”

  “Sorry, I’ve got some work to do. But don’t let me stop you.” Austin set his laptop on the desk.

  “See ya later.” Nicholas headed out the door.

  Whew. Alone at last. Austin punched in the code for the hidden cameras he’d installed. He spotted a group of men on the west end of the penthouse. Gregori was showing contestants to their rooms. They were probably all vampires. Gregori made his leave and headed for the main staircase. Where was he going? To see Darcy?

  Austin felt a nasty twinge that he recognized as jealousy. And it didn’t help that Darcy had set up her headquarters in the damned pool house where he didn’t have a camera. Was she going to sleep there, too?

  He switched his view to the camera in the foyer. Gregori had reached the bottom of the stairs and was headed for the portrait room. Austin switched to the portrait room. Shoot. Darcy was there. That creepy Gregori was meeting her alone.

  Darcy was removing a portrait from the wall, probably one of the rejects for the night. She carried the portrait to the far corner of the room and set it on the floor, propped against the wall. She straightened suddenly, pivoting toward the door.

  “Gregori!” She ran across the room. She gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek. “You were great!”

  He was scum. Austin watched to see where the vampire placed his hands on Darcy. A brief touch on her shoulders. Austin decided to leave his wooden stakes in the suitcase for now.

  “Thanks. It was fun.” Gregori glanced at the portraits on the wall. “So you’re removing the losers?”

  “Yes.” Darcy plucked a second portrait off the wall. “Can you get Derek’s?”

  “Sure.” Gregori removed the painting and followed Darcy to the corner where she was stashing them. “I thought it was really embarrassing how racist the ladies are.”

  “It’s awful! I’ll have to do some very careful editing.”

  “Yeah. They’re really stuck in the past.” Gregori set down his painting. “But I think you handled them really well.”

  “Thank you.” Darcy located the fifth painting that needed to be removed.

  Gregori wandered toward her, studying the portraits. He stopped in front of one and lea
ned close to read the nameplate. “Adam Olaf Cartwright. Who’s he?”

  Austin tensed and held his breath.

  Darcy froze for a few seconds, then grabbed the fifth painting off the wall. She strode toward the corner. “He’s a contestant, of course.”

  “Mortal or vampire?”

  Darcy deposited the painting, then straightened. “We agreed that you wouldn’t know ahead of time.”

  “I know, but—” Gregori glared at Austin’s painting. “This guy was staring at you all evening.”

  Darcy clenched her hands together. “I wouldn’t call it all evening. It was more like ten minutes.”

  “Ten minutes that he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

  Austin narrowed his eyes. You got a problem with that, scumbag?

  Darcy’s laugh was short and forced. “Don’t be silly. He was probably looking at the camera, not me. I’ll have to remind the guys to ignore the camera and act naturally.”

  Gregori crossed his arms. “Have you been seeing him?”

  She shrugged. “A few times, but it was work related.”

  Austin snorted. More pleasure than work, sweetheart.

  Gregori frowned. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Darcy scoffed. “Don’t worry. Nothing’s going on.”

  Austin ground his teeth. Nothing? For the last two weeks, he’d been haunted with the memories of kissing her mouth, touching her breasts, and feeling her sweet rump pressed against his groin. Was that what she called nothing?

  “What’s up?” Garrett peeked into his room.

  Austin jumped in his chair, then quickly turned off the volume on his laptop. “Dammit, Garrett. Give me a warning, will you? I don’t want my roommate to see what I’m doing.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making sure all the cameras are working.”

  “Cool.” Garrett shut the door and paced toward the computer. “Anything interesting? Who’s that—the host and director?”

  “Yeah, but it’s really boring.”

  “Turn it up,” Garrett urged. “I want to hear.”