A Dream of Home: Hearts of the Lancaster Grand Hotel: Book Three

by Amy Clipston

  Madeleine felt like the girl’s confidante, and she loved it. “Your secret is safe with me, Emma. I won’t tell anyone.”

  “Danki.” Emma picked up one more cookie. “Do you miss electricity? I’ve heard Englishers can’t live without it.”

  “I don’t really miss electricity too much. I like using lanterns, and I never watched much television. But I do miss my computer a little.”

  “Oh.” Emma sipped her milk. “And you like your phone, too, right?”

  “I do.” Madeleine nodded. “But you also use a phone, don’t you? The only difference is that I can carry mine with me.”

  “That’s true.” Emma lifted her glass. “Do you like to toast? My friend Rachel likes to say a toast. She learned it from her English cousins.”

  Madeleine lifted her glass. “What should we toast?”

  “New friends.” Emma tapped her glass against Madeleine’s.

  “Yes, to new and special friends.” Madeleine laughed. She was thankful for her special new friend, Emma Beiler.

  Saul bowed his head in silent prayer later that evening and then filled his plate with meat loaf and mashed potatoes.

  “How was your day?” he asked as he glanced over at Emma.

  “It was gut.” Emma passed the green beans. “I made kichlin and took them over to Madeleine’s haus. We sat and ate them, and we talked about Mammi. She would dress Amish and speak Dietsch when she stayed with Mammi.”

  Saul studied Emma as he frowned. “You went to see Madeleine?”

  Emma nodded. “Ya, we had a nice time. She said she was going to paint the rooms, but I talked her out of it.”

  “Emma, I told you to leave her alone. I know you heard me because you repeated it back to me.” How would he ever overcome his daughter’s stubborn streak? He opened his mouth to yell at her and then stopped. He didn’t want to make her cry tonight. She yearned for a female adult with whom to spend her time, but he preferred her female role model not be an Englisher.

  Emma’s smile evaporated. “I’m sorry, Dat. I wanted to bake, and I decided to take some cookies over to Madeleine. She was very froh, and we had a very nice visit.” She paused for a moment. “We’re going to cook and bake together. She has Mammi’s cook-books.” Emma’s face radiated with her excitement. “She served in the air force. She said her mamm was in the military too.”

  Saul gnawed his lower lip, then pointed to the table. “You should stay on this farm, not go spend time with an Englisher.”

  “But you’re always working.” Emma’s eyes suddenly widened as if she realized she’d been disrespectful to him. “I’m sorry, Dat. I know you have to work so you can provide for me.” She quickly changed the subject to her friends at school and spent the rest of supper telling him about what she learned and all the fun she had on the playground.

  After supper Emma took care of cleaning up the dishes, and Saul stepped out onto the back porch. He shivered in the night air while he looked toward Madeleine’s place. A single light burned at the back of the house.

  It didn’t make sense for her to live there. She wouldn’t stay.

  He knew one thing for certain—he needed to shield his daughter from more heartache. He had to keep Emma away from Madeleine before the Englisher put the house on the market and left.

  Saul stepped back into the kitchen, where Emma was drying a pot. “Emma, you need to spend your afternoons here at our farm. Do you understand me?”

  Emma’s pale blue eyes were round as she nodded. “Ya, I do, Dat.”

  “Danki,” Saul said. “I’m going to work for a little bit. I’ll be in my shop.” He stepped back outside and looked over at Madeleine’s house one last time as he walked. He’d talk to her tomorrow and make it clear that she was to stay away from his daughter.

  Madeleine stepped out onto her porch the morning after Emma’s visit. She hefted her tote bag farther up on her shoulder just before she suddenly remembered her lunch was still on the kitchen counter. After rushing back into the house, she grabbed her lunch bag, shoved it into her tote bag, and glanced at the clock. She gasped. She had to hurry or she was going to be late for work.

  As she stepped back outside, she saw Emma hurrying by on her way to school. “Hi, Emma!” Madeleine called. “Have a great day at school.”

  “Hi, Madeleine!” Emma waved and kept rushing past toward her friends, who were waiting at the corner.

  Madeleine descended the porch steps and headed for her truck.

  “Madeleine.”

  She turned as Saul approached. “Oh. Good morning, Saul. It’s nice to see you.” She opened the driver’s side door and tossed her tote bag into the truck. “I’m late for work, and I have to run. I hope you have a nice day.”

  “Wait.” He held up his hand. “Do you have just a couple of minutes?”

  His brown eyes seemed determined, and she couldn’t bring herself to say no to him.

  “Sure.” She closed the truck door and faced him. “What did you want to talk about?”

  Saul heaved a heavy sigh. “Emma told me she visited you yesterday.”

  “She brought over some cookies she’d made, and we shared the cookies and glasses of milk.” Madeleine smiled. “We had a wonderful time. Emma’s a very special little girl. You should be proud of her.”

  “I’m not comfortable with her spending time with you.” Saul’s words were simple, but they sliced through her like carving knives.

  “Excuse me?” she asked.

  “I’m not comfortable with her spending time with you,” he repeated. “I don’t want her to come over and cook with you, either.”

  “I don’t understand.” Madeleine studied him. “I thought Amish weren’t supposed to judge others. You don’t even know me.”

  “Exactly.” He pointed toward the house. “I don’t know why you’re here or how long you’ll decide to stay. I don’t want her to be upset if you suddenly sell the house and move away.”

  Madeleine pointed to the house too. “This was my grand-parents’ home. I’m not planning on moving anytime soon.”

  “I know how you Englishers are. Your plans can change minute to minute, especially because you were in the military. You have no roots.” Saul crossed his arms over his wide chest. “Emma doesn’t need to get to know you or find out more about your life. I don’t want her visiting here, and you don’t need to come and visit her at our haus. It’s best if we keep our distance. Englishers and Amish shouldn’t mix anyway. The results are never gut.”

  Her spirit deflated as she stared at her neighbor. “I’m sorry to hear you say that. Emma and I have a lot in common.”

  “Really?” He shook his head. “I find that difficult to believe.”

  “It’s true. Emma and I both loved my mammi.”

  He gave her a stiff nod. “Martha was a gut woman.”

  “Yes, she was.” Madeleine held her head high despite her disappointment. “And that’s not all. Emma said she lost her mother when she was four. I never knew my dat. I know what it’s like to have only one parent. Emma and I could learn a lot from each other.”

  He paused, and for a quick moment, she thought she saw his expression warm. However, he remained stoic.

  “I’m her father, and I don’t want her to visit you. Please respect my wishes.” Saul turned and started back toward his house.

  Madeleine stared after him. How could a man who was so warm to his daughter be so frigid to her? She’d never been so insulted in her life. Disappointment and heartache flooded her as she climbed into her truck, started the engine, gripped the wheel, and drove toward the hotel.

  TEN

  Madeleine rushed into the break room and stowed her tote bag and lunch before pulling on her apron and name tag.

  “Madeleine?” Ruth stepped into the room. “I was beginning to worry about you.”

  “I’ve been running late all morning.” Madeleine shook her head and checked her hair in the mirror next to the lockers. “It’s just been one of those mornings when ever
ything goes wrong. My alarm didn’t go off, so I got up late, which is unusual for me. I normally wake up before the alarm.” She frowned. “And then I had a run-in with my neighbor.”

  “You had a run-in with your neighbor?” Ruth crossed the room and stood in front of her. “Do you mean Saul Beiler?”

  “Yes, I mean Saul Beiler.” Madeleine scowled. “He is the most coldhearted, cruel person I’ve ever met. I always thought all Amish people were tolerant of Englishers, but I guess that’s not true in his case.” She started for the door. “I’m sure Gregg is upset that I’m not cleaning yet.”

  “Wait,” Ruth said. “You have a minute to talk.”

  Madeleine stopped and faced her. “What is there to talk about?”

  “Sit with me for a minute.” Ruth pointed toward the table, and they sat down across from each other. “What happened with Saul?”

  “Emma came to visit me yesterday,” Madeleine said. “She brought me cookies, and we talked for a while. She’s a lovely young lady.”

  Ruth nodded. “Ya, she is.”

  “Emma asked me if we could cook together, and I told her I have my mammi’s cookbooks. She loved the idea of our using them together.” Madeleine ran her finger over the wood grain on the table as she spoke. “I realized Emma was very close to my mammi. We have some other things in common too. I really enjoyed talking to her. She’s very mature for her age. I assume that’s because she lost her mother when she was young.”

  “I’m certain that’s why,” Ruth agreed.

  “This morning I was leaving for work, and Saul came over just as I was about to get into my truck. He told me he doesn’t want Emma spending any time with me.”

  Ruth’s expression was unreadable.

  “He basically said that, because I’m an Englisher, I could leave anytime, and he doesn’t want Emma to get attached to me and then wind up hurt.” Madeleine grimaced. “I haven’t done anything to make him think I’d hurt her. I don’t understand why an Amish person would be so judgmental to assume things about me that aren’t true. I would never deliberately hurt anyone, especially a sweet, innocent little girl.”

  “It’s not you.” Ruth frowned.

  Madeleine studied Ruth’s expression. “You know something.”

  “I do.” Ruth rested her hands on the table. “Saul has been hurt.”

  “I have too.” Madeleine folded her arms over her chest. “But I don’t treat people the way he does. He really offended me.”

  “I don’t think you understand,” Ruth began. “His wife died, but she didn’t die seven years ago.”

  “What? I’m not sure what you’re saying, Ruth. You’ve lost me.”

  “Annie didn’t die seven years ago,” Ruth said. “She left Saul and Emma.”

  Madeleine gaped at Ruth. “She left him? I didn’t think Amish divorced.”

  “Normally, we don’t, but sometimes it happens. We just don’t talk about it because it’s against our beliefs.”

  “What happened?” Madeleine asked.

  “Annie left Saul and moved to the same former Amish community in Missouri where, from what I heard, her boyfriend had gone several years before. He came back to get her once he had settled and established his life there.” Ruth shook her head. “Saul was devastated. Emma was only four years old.”

  “What a minute.” Madeleine held her hand up. “Saul’s wife had a boyfriend? How does that work?”

  “I believe Annie was in love with this other man before she married Saul, but he left the community.”

  “Does that mean she married Saul simply because he was willing to marry her?” Madeleine asked.

  “That’s right.” Ruth nodded. “And they had Emma together. But then it all fell apart when her boyfriend came back for her. Annie left Saul, divorced him, and I assume she married this other man.”

  “Oh no.” Madeleine gasped. “That’s heartbreaking. Emma thinks her mother died. She has no idea what really happened.”

  “That’s right. And because our community doesn’t talk about divorce, Saul has been able to keep the truth from her.” Ruth continued to frown. “I heard Saul received a letter last year telling him Annie died in an accident. I assume that’s why he started dating again. He was seeing Carolyn for a while, but she married Joshua, as you know.”

  “Now it all makes sense,” Madeleine said. “He doesn’t trust me because he thinks I’ll leave like Annie did. Like my mother did.”

  “I can understand his fear, even though I know you would never deliberately hurt Emma.”

  Madeleine considered this. “I guess he doesn’t trust women at all. I don’t blame him, but it’s sad he feels that way.” She paused and thought about Saul and his sweet daughter. “I’ll miss Emma, but I can’t go against him.”

  “That’s a gut plan.” Ruth pushed back her chair and stood. “We’d better get to work.”

  “Thank you, Ruth.” Madeleine followed her to the door. “I’m glad I know the truth.”

  “You’re welcome.” Ruth touched Madeleine’s arm. “Please keep it to yourself. I only know because I’m close friends with Sylvia Smucker’s mother. Sylvia is married to Saul’s best friend, Marcus. I’m not certain who in the community knows what really happened with Annie. He doesn’t talk about her at all, and I don’t want word to get back to him.”

  “I understand. I’ll keep it to myself.” Madeleine walked to the supply closet. As she filled her cart with fresh towels, she thought about Saul and Emma. She was sorry to hear how hurt Saul had been. She prayed that somehow he would see she’d never hurt him or his daughter.

  Saul guided his horse up the driveway leading to Marcus’s farm. He stopped the buggy in front of the wood shop where Marcus created the dining room tables and chairs he sold to local stores. After hopping out of the buggy, Saul crossed the driveway to the shop and wrenched open the door. He found his best friend sanding a long table.

  Marcus removed his respirator and smiled. “Saul. Wie geht’s? What brings you here this morning?”

  “I was in the area, and I thought I’d stop by.” Saul leaned against the workbench and studied the table. “That is a schee table. Your work gets more and more impressive. Pretty soon it will be almost as gut as mine,” he teased, and Marcus chuckled.

  Marcus shook his head. “You’re avoiding my question. What brings you over here on a Thursday morning? You never stop by during the week unless you need something or something is wrong.”

  Saul crossed his arms over his middle. “I can’t concentrate on my work. I think I made a mistake, and I need to talk to someone. I suppose you’ll do.”

  Marcus laughed again and took two bottles of water from the small cooler under his bench. “Here. Take a sip, and then tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “Danki.” Saul took a long gulp and then wiped his mouth. “I told you Emma likes to talk to my Englisher neighbor.”

  “Madeleine Miller.” Marcus nodded. “I remember her from the wedding. She seemed pleasant.”

  Saul explained how Emma had spent the previous afternoon with Madeleine and wanted to cook with her. He also told Marcus about the conversation he’d had with Madeleine earlier in the day. “I told her I don’t want Emma over at her haus, and I don’t want her to come to see Emma at mei haus, either.”

  Marcus grimaced.

  “You think that was too much, huh?” Saul asked. “I crossed a line, didn’t I?”

  “I don’t know.” Marcus shook his head. “I can’t judge you.” He paused. “How do you feel about what you said?”

  “I think I may have been too abrupt with her.” Saul rubbed his temple as he remembered the hurt expression on Madeleine’s face. He could tell his words had completely crushed her. Guilt soaked through him. How could he be that cold and cruel to that young lady? “I’m just very confused. Parenting all alone is just too much for me sometimes. I don’t know if I’m gut at being a dat.”

  “Of course you are.”

  “I’m worried about Emma. I want her t
o make the right choices and not leave the community like mei bruder did.” Saul gripped the bottle of water. “But I don’t know if I’m holding her too close or pushing her away. How do I find the right balance, where I’m not pushing her away or smothering her?”

  “You need to trust God to lead her down the right path. You just raise her the best way you can, the best way you know how, and leave the rest to God.” Marcus gulped another drink of water. “You worry too much. You’re a gut parent, just like your parents were. They are the best examples you can follow.”

  “But I need to lead her down the right path. I have to be actively involved in her life, and I have to make sure she makes the right decisions.” Saul shook his head. “I have to do more than my parents. They couldn’t convince mei bruder to stay.”

  “His decision to leave wasn’t their fault.” Marcus leaned forward on the table he was building. “Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s not your fault Annie left, either. Stop punishing yourself for Annie’s and your bruder’s decisions to leave.”

  Saul nodded, even though he didn’t agree with his friend’s words. He had to do all the right things to convince Emma to stay Amish. But what exactly were those right things? He needed to pray more and ask God for the right words to say to Emma. He needed answers. He had to know how to be the best parent he could be—for her.

  “How are your projects going this week?” Marcus asked. “Are you still drowning in cabinet orders?”

  “I’m finally getting caught up.” Saul lifted his hat and raked his hand through his thick hair. “I still need to find a way to hire an assistant. I need to find a way to stay more organized with all the orders.”

  “I know what you mean. I’m considering hiring an apprentice. The furniture stores are calling me every day now.” Marcus tapped the table. “After this one, I have three more to make before I’m caught up.”

  “You do fantastic work. I’m sure an apprentice would be happy to learn from you.”