Silt, Denver Cereal Volume 8

by Claudia Hall Christian

  “I don’t think that’s a big surprise to anyone that they might try to hurt Sissy,” Aden said.

  “It was to me.” Nash’s head bobbed in a nod. “It was to me.”

  Aden waited again. When Nash didn’t say anything, he said, “It sounds like a drug.”

  “The popular drug,” Nash said. “Suddenly, I’m not loser Nash Norsen anymore. I’m cool Nash with cool friends and . . .”

  Nash turned to look at his father.

  “I didn’t like cool Nash very much,” Nash said. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a butt.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what was going on,” Aden said. “It sounds like you’ve had a tough time.”

  “The whole thing,” Nash said. “It’s hard to pretend to be someone I’m not, and it’s hard now not to be friends with the people I pretended to be like, and it’s hard to find out that the people you love are struggling, and you don’t have a clue, and . . .”

  “That’s a lot of ands,” Aden said.

  Nash nodded.

  “What did Sandy say?” Aden asked.

  “She said that she loved me,” Nash said. “That’s it. Sissy and Noelle too. They said they weren’t mad at me and that they understood. Noelle said we all go through it and said that Nuala had the same trouble. And she’s right. I’ve been just like my jerk of a mother.”

  “I think Sandy would really hate it if you called her a jerk,” Aden said.

  When Nash didn’t respond, Aden looked down. The boy was crying. Aden pulled his head to him and the boy cried against him. Aden heard a sound and looked up as Sissy and Noelle crept into the living room. Noelle squished in between Nash and the arm of the couch. Sissy sat next to Aden. Buster the ugly dog flew out of the hallway and launched himself onto the couch. He landed on Aden and Sissy’s laps. Charlie was not far behind. He sat at Nash’s feet.

  “You can come out too,” Nash said in a tearful voice.

  Sandy came out of the bedroom with Rachel. She set the baby on Nash’s lap and ruffled his hair. He looked up at her.

  “Sorry for calling you a jerk,” Nash said.

  Sandy kissed his wet cheek and sat down on the arm of the couch. The little family leaned in together in a kind of hug. Nash tickled Rachel and the baby giggled.

  “I think the point of having a family is to have a place to fall back on,” Aden said. “You have to go out in the world and try new things. Even though we seem really far away, we’re still right here. We’re your roots—whether it works out or it doesn’t, we’re here.”

  Charlie looked up at Aden, and Aden smiled at him.

  “That seems like a good cue to make something yummy,” Sandy said. “What’s a yummy root? Beets? Turnips?”

  The kids groaned and Aden laughed.

  “How about we start with some hot chocolate?” Sandy asked. She got up to move to the kitchen. “Welcome home, Nash.”

  “Now you can be Ivy’s girlfriend,” Noelle said.

  Sissy gave a little clap. Nash scowled at them.

  “What about the rest of my friends?” Nash asked.

  “They don’t seem much like friends,” Charlie said. “They just made you feel stupid and insecure all the time. You were always watching to see if someone unfriended you or whatever. Who needs that? I’d rather be alone than have to deal with that.”

  Nash scowled at him.

  “Sweet potato pie!” Sandy yelled from the kitchen. “That’s rooty and yummy!”

  The family turned to look at the kitchen.

  “She’s really . . .” Nash started and everyone laughed.

  ~~~~~~~~

  Thursday night—11:15 p.m.

  Jacob pulled their new, ready-for-the-twins SUV up to an old house north and west of the airport. There were two almost identical houses near this house. Jill looked at him and turned around to check on Katy. She was sound asleep in her car seat in the back.

  Jacob nodded and started to get out of the car. Jill touched his arm.

  “Why are we here?” Jill asked.

  “I wanted to show you the houses,” Jacob said. “The other two are rented, but this one’s empty right now.”

  “Okay,” Jill said. “Why are we here?”

  Jacob settled back in his seat. He glanced at Jill and she raised her eyebrows to repeat the question. He sighed. With his sigh, he crumpled forward and put his head on the steering wheel. She touched his back.

  “Tough meeting?” Jill asked.

  “Stupid meeting,” Jacob said. “Want to walk?”

  “What about Katy?” Jill asked.

  “What about Katy?” the little girl asked from the backseat.

  “What are you doing awake?” Jill asked.

  “What are we doing here?” Katy gave her big Katy-smarty-pants smile. Jill laughed. “I can walk. I wore my trainers—that’s what Paddie’s sort-of-uncle calls them.”

  She lifted her feet to show her new exercise shoes.

  “Walk?” Jacob asked.

  “Sure,” Jill said.

  She fussed with Katy’s heavy coat and wool hat before letting her get out of her car seat. Jacob helped Katy out of the SUV while Jill stepped out on the passenger side. Jill pulled her jacket around her round belly. Jacob took Katy’s hand and held out a hand for Jill. They walked toward the large, handcrafted farmhouse.

  “I bought this place right after I moved to Colorado.” Jacob stopped walking. He let go of Jill’s hand to point. “This house and the other two. Mormons built them around 1900. They farmed here, raised families here . . .for decades. The last generation moved on to Utah around the time I moved back to Denver. The houses aren’t extravagant, not in any way, really; but they are gorgeous inside, solid, and . . .built with love.”

  Jill watched his face in the moonlight.

  “I dreamed of living here with my family,” Jacob said. “My daughter would keep her horses in the barn.”

  He waved in the direction of an empty field near the house.

  “My sons would run across the open fields,” Jacob said. “And you . . .”

  He leaned into her and she kissed his cheek. Jill knew that he was telling her something important, so she didn’t respond. He looked out across the field.

  “We’d grow corn or soy,” Jacob said. “I wasn’t sensitized to the whole GMO thing and pesticide thing then. Now, I think I’d grow sunflowers and . . . organic corn and kids; maybe a cow or two, some goats . . . I’d give it all up for a patch of land, a lovely wife, and a few kids.”

  Katy tugged on his hand and he let her go. She ran out into the moonlight and twirled in place.

  “I’m sorry,” Jill said. “I don’t know if you’re sharing a very sweet dream with us or if you’re seriously thinking about giving everything up and moving to this farm.”

  Jacob nodded.

  “I see,” Jill watched Katy in the moonlight. “Rough meeting?”

  “I’m tired,” Jacob said. “Tired of the fighting. Tired of being tired. Tired of working so damned much that I never see you or Katy. And the boys . . . I thought this Lipson crap would be long over before the boys were here. Now, I’ll be lucky to live long enough to get away from the company.”

  “You’re distraught,” Jill said.

  He turned to give her an exasperated look. Shaking his head, he looked away.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You don’t understand,” Jacob said. “All I ever wanted was a quiet life.”

  “What do we have?” Jill raised an eyebrow at him.

  Jacob moved away from her, picked up Katy, and carried her to the car.

  “We may as well go,” he said.

  Jill came up behind him and held him for a moment.

  “Why don’t you show me the inside?” she whispered in his ear.

  He looked back at her. For a moment, with the twins between them, their eyes held. He gave her a partial smile.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just . . .”

  “Worn out,” Jill said. “
Can we stay here tonight?”

  “No beds,” Jacob said. “The house has been empty for a couple of months.”

  “Let’s go take a look,” Jill said.

  Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-One

  Crux

  “But . . .” Jacob started.

  “I put the sleeping bags in the back this afternoon and some blankets,” Jill said.

  “You did?” Jacob asked.

  “Of course I did,” Jill said. “I bet we could camp out here for days if we wanted to.”

  Jacob smiled. He put Katy on his hip and held out his hand to Jill. They walked onto the solid porch. Jill noted the signs of Jacob’s small repairs. Jacob opened the heavy oak front door, and they went inside. The home smelled like wood, cinnamon, and love. Jacob flicked on the light and Jill smiled. The house was just as he’d said, solid and beautiful.

  “The other houses are rented by a couple of Amish families,” Jacob said. “But they’ve already told me they want to move to the San Luis Valley or maybe up by Craig. There are large Amish communities there. They want to be with their own people. The family that was renting this house has gone to buy a farm for them. The way the world is now, I don’t blame them for not wanting to be out on their own like this.”

  “This is where the new city is supposed to go,” Jill said.

  Jacob gave a curt nod.

  “The rooms are small, of course, for heating,” Jacob said. “Unlike the Castle, the house has all of the original fixtures.”

  He nodded to the glass-paned doors and the sliding doors in the living room. There were stained glass windows on either side of the fireplace mantel, and every transom featured the same happy stained glass theme.

  “The fireplaces work and there’s a cord of wood in the back,” Jacob said. They walked toward the back. “I replaced the furnace a couple years ago. It needs a new kitchen, but what house doesn’t?”

  Jill nodded.

  “You feel like you have to give up your dream in order to create the new city,” Jill said.

  “I feel like I’ve lost myself in work,” Jacob said. “I don’t know if I’m too scared to really have the dream—you, me, a bunch of kids, a nice quiet life—or . . .”

  “The dream has changed?” Jill asked.

  “Maybe,” Jacob said. “I’m bound up with Delphie and the Castle and the drama of this stupid company and all the people who . . . expect something for nothing because they imagine that other guy is getting something for nothing or . . . I don’t know what.”

  “You’re tired,” Jill said.

  “I’m tired of defending my right to sell the company,” Jacob said. “I’m tired of defending my decisions to the people in the company I sold to. I’m tired of seeing my father look so old and exhausted. And mostly, I’m tired of living without you and Katy and our boys in the center of every minute of every day. I want a quiet life.”

  Jill smiled.

  “You think I’m crazy,” Jacob said.

  “I think you’re tired,” Jill said.

  He leaned against her for a moment.

  “I also think you’re a person who needs a lot of stimulation,” Jill said. “A person who has a lot of energy. Sure, you’d love living here for a while, but once the farm was set up, the cows and goats purchased, and the people hired to work the fields, you’d get restless. It wouldn’t happen right away, but soon you’d want to fix up this house or someone else’s house and you’d be away from us again.”

  “I hate that about me,” Jacob said.

  “I love you, Daddy,” Katy said. “Just the way you are. Would Delphie live in one of those other houses? Would Mr. Colin and Ms. Julie take the other one so Paddie could live next door?”

  Jacob kissed Katy’s forehead and closed his eyes. Jill watched him breathe in their daughter’s sparkle and let it go. Katy put her hands on his face and he opened his eyes.

  “What’s wrong, Daddy?” Katy asked.

  “I don’t know,” Jacob said.

  “Can you take tomorrow off?” Jill asked.

  “I already told Aden I couldn’t do any more,” Jacob said. “He told me to take tomorrow off. Blane’s going in. Dad’s not leaving until the afternoon. They’ll survive without me.”

  “Then let’s just rest here tonight,” Jill said.

  “What about dinner?” he asked.

  “It’s in the cooler in the back of the SUV,” Jill smiled.

  Not sure what to say, he smiled.

  “Go on now,” Jill said. “I’ll get us settled while you move things inside.”

  “We have to be back for Val’s cyber premiere,” Jacob said.

  Jill smiled.

  “What?” Jacob asked.

  “Nothing,” Jill said. “Would you mind getting the things from the car?”

  Nodding, he set Katy down and left to get their overnight gear. Jill turned to Katy.

  “What do you think?” Jill asked.

  “I think our plan was perfect,” Katy smiled.

  Chuckling, Jill gestured toward the staircase and they went up.

  ~~~~~~~~

  The next morning

  Friday early-morning—5:15 a.m.

  Jacob kissed the back of her neck and her bare shoulders. Even after all this time, and in her bulging condition, his strong hands brought her waves of bliss. To her surprise, she continued to enjoy the gentle movement and deeper probing of his skin tight against hers. She turned her head for one last kiss before she got up.

  “If you think I haven’t noticed that this house has recently been cleaned,” Jacob said , “I noticed last night.”

  “Clean?” Jill feigned ignorance. She went through the bathroom to check on Katy. The little girl was sound asleep in the room adjoining the bathroom. She used the bathroom.

  “Is everyone coming here?” Jacob asked.

  “Yes,” she said when she stood in the doorway to the bathroom.

  “When?” Jacob asked.

  His eyes followed her. She dove into their makeshift bed of sleeping bags and blankets.

  “After five,” Jill said.

  “Caterers?” Jacob asked.

  “Two,” Jill said.

  Jacob lay on his back staring at the ceiling. She rolled over to rest her head on his shoulder.

  “Are you mad?” she asked.

  Jacob shook his head and stared at the ceiling.

  “It’s the crux of my problem,” Jacob said. “I don’t want to miss Valerie’s premiere. She’s taking this huge risk by taking Jackie to the premiere. Sure, she has her co-stars’ support, and they’re bringing their kids, but it’s a big deal. She needs my support, our support. I would never miss that, but man, I want to.”

  “It’s a web that ties you down,” Jill said.

  He nodded.

  “What weighs so heavily on your heart?” Jill asked.

  “When I was a kid, Dad used to say that my actions had consequences,” Jacob said. “There was no way to know how the ripples of my actions would affect others. I had to just do my best and . . .” He shrugged.

  “I guess I feel the weight of all that responsibility. Whatever I do now affects so many people—at home, at Lipson, you, Katy, the boys,” Jacob said. “I long to shrug it off like a cloak and . . .I don’t know, move back to Maine, open a wood shop in the forest, and . . .”

  “Would you be happier there?” Jill asked.

  “Would you move to Maine with me?”

  “Sure,” Jill said. “But that’s not what I asked.”

  He didn’t respond. After a while, she leaned up to look at his face and he was sound asleep. She moved to get up but he held her in place. She looked at him again.

  “Just tired,” he said.

  She smiled and lay down against him. For this moment, they could just lie here, together, in peace.

  ~~~~~~~~

  Friday afternoon—2:15 p.m.

  Delphie turned on the electric kettle and sat down at the table in the main Castle kitchen. For the last few mont
hs, she’d met Valerie at this very table every day at 2:30 p.m. for tea and chat. They would talk about nothing until Jackie woke up or the kids came home from school.

  But today, Valerie was in Los Angeles and she was alone.

  She could have gone with Valerie. In fact, Valerie had almost begged her to go, but Delphie felt like she was needed at home. After all, the rapists had threatened Sissy and Jill would be having her grandsons soon. No, she was needed at home.

  Plus, there was the cyber celebration of Valerie’s new movie tonight. Delphie knew she should be calling the caterers and checking on everything. It was her job to make sure everyone was ready for the party. But today, she didn’t feel like taking care of anything.

  Today, she wanted to have tea with Valerie and talk about nothing.

  The kettle clicked off at the same moment she heard the side door to the Castle open. She got up and went to the counter to make some green tea. Out of habit, she took a mug down for Valerie.

  “Are you making tea?” Sam asked.

  She turned to look at him. He was wearing the new tux and tails Valerie had bought for him for the cyber premiere.

  “You’re dressed up,” Delphie said.

  “Yes,” Sam said. “Wonder why?”

  “Probably something out in the world-ish,” Delphie sighed.

  “Yes, Eeyore, I have an ‘out in the world-ish’ event to attend,” Sam said. “Curious as to what?”

  Delphie gave a small shrug and Sam smiled. He came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

  “I’m here to pick up my princess for the ball,” Sam said.

  “Celia’s gone, Sam,” Delphie said.

  Sam raised his eyebrows in amused surprise. He kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear: “You’re my princess.”

  She shrugged him off and finished making her tea. She slumped back to her seat at the kitchen table. She set her tea on the table. She was about to sit down when she saw a lovely purple gown hanging on the coat rack. The bodice was tight and the skirt was long and flowing. The purple matched his purple cummerbund. Unwilling to give up her gloom so easily, she glanced at him and sat down.