[Quantum 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set

by Marie Force

  “I’ve never felt anything that’s better than this, Natalie.”

  “Move, Flynn. Please…”

  He doesn’t have to be told twice. Rising up to his knees, he begins slowly, thrusting deeply and then withdrawing to pound into me again, over and over.

  I throw my arms over my head, seeking purchase, something to hold on to as he takes me on the wildest ride of my life.

  Then he’s over me, reaching for my hands to grip them together while his other hand grasps my ass, holding me in place for his fierce possession. When I realize I can’t move my hands, or any other part of me, for that matter, a slow drumbeat of panic begins in my chest.

  He’s kissing me as he makes love to me, and all of a sudden I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can’t do this. I wrench my head to the left, breaking the kiss and let out a scream as the memories come flooding back to remind me that while I might be determined to outrun my past, it always catches up to me eventually.

  I fight him like a wild animal, thrashing and kicking and screaming.

  He stops immediately, pulls out and lets go of me. “Natalie.”

  I’m hysterical, screaming and crying and fighting the demons with everything I have inside me. In the far recesses of my mind, I hear Fluff freaking out right along with me, barking and snarling.

  “Sweetheart, oh my God, it’s me, baby. Please… Natalie. It’s just me, and I love you more than anything.”

  His words permeate the hysteria, and I deflate like a balloon that’s been stuck with a pin. Fluff plops down next to me, licking my face and offering her own sort of comfort.

  Dear God, I just totally lost my mind while making love to my husband for the first time. The sobs shake my body, and I’m afraid to open my eyes, to see how he must be looking at this broken, damaged shell of a woman he’s shackled himself to for a lifetime.

  “Natalie…” He lays his hand on my heaving abdomen.

  I flinch and Fluff growls, but Flynn doesn’t remove his hand. “Sweetheart, look at me. Open your eyes.”

  I shake my head. I can’t. I’ll never be able to look at him again after ruining what should’ve been the most special moment of our lives.

  He replaces his hand with his lips, kissing my belly, my hipbones, between my breasts, my neck, my jaw, my face and finally my lips. Each kiss is like a bandage on the wound I carry with me. Each kiss is about love and devotion and has nothing at all to do with what happened to me so long ago.

  I tell myself that, but will he ever forgive me for losing it while he was inside me? Will he ever again touch me without thinking about what might happen if he makes the slightest wrong move?

  “It was the hands,” I tell him, keeping my eyes closed.

  “I held down your hands, and that triggered a memory.”

  I nod. “I’m so sorry.” Tears soaking through my closed eyes leave hot tracks as they slide down my face.

  He kisses them away and strokes my hair, my face, my body, which soothes and calms me. “Could I hold you?”

  I turn into his arms and hold on to him for dear life as sobs shake my body and my newfound resolve. What other repressed memories are waiting to resurface to remind me of all the many ways I’m broken? How will my beloved husband ever know if what he’s about to do is the wrong thing?

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Do not apologize to me, Natalie.”

  His sharp tone makes me whimper like the wounded animal I am.

  “I’m sorry,” he says in a softer tone. “I didn’t mean to say it so harshly. You’re perfect just the way you are, and if it takes the whole rest of our lives, we’ll figure out what works for us—and what doesn’t. No matter what happens, I’ll never, ever blame you for any of it. Ever.”

  “I hate that I ruined our wedding night.”

  “You haven’t ruined anything. Our wedding night is far from over. It’s just getting started.”

  He holds me for a long time, making soothing circles on my back and kissing my forehead over and over again until I begin to settle.

  “Do you feel better?”

  I nod. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m great as long as I’m here with you.”

  “Do you think… we could… can we…”

  “What honey?”

  “Can we try again?”

  “We don’t have to. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

  “I know we don’t have to, but I want to. If you’re willing. I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t.”

  He props himself up on one elbow and looks down at me. “I am always willing to make love to you. There will never be a time when I don’t want you, Natalie. But you are always free to say no.”

  “I’m saying yes. I’m saying yes to everything.”

  “We’ll take it nice and slow.” He kisses me. “But we need a word, something you’ll say if it’s ever too much or something scares you. It needs to be a word that we both know means stop. No matter what’s happening, if you say that word, it’s game off.”

  “Okay…”

  “What word do you want to use?”

  I finally open my eyes, look up at his handsome, earnest face and offer a faint smile. “How about Fluff?” My little dog lets out a yip when she hears her name.

  He smiles back at me. “That’s perfect.”

  I reach up to bring him down to me. “I love you. Nothing you could do will ever be wrong. It’s not you. Please tell me you know that.”

  “I do. I know.”

  “I loved the way we were before.”

  “How were we?”

  “Wild and uninhibited. I want to be that person. I want to be her with you.”

  “We’ll get there.”

  I run a finger over the pulse in his cheek that lets me know how difficult this is for him. “Having sex with me is like playing with dynamite without knowing where the fuse is.”

  “Having sex with you is like the closest thing to heaven I’ve experienced on this earth, Natalie. There’s nothing that could happen that would change that.”

  “Can we try again?”

  “Only if we go slow this time. We’ll save wild and uninhibited for another day.”

  Fluff lets out a snore that makes us both laugh, and I watch the tension leave his body in a deep exhale. He begins anew with deep, soft, undemanding kisses that make my head spin. My body reawakens one kiss at a time.

  He’s in no rush as one kiss becomes two and two become three. His touch is careful rather than unrestrained the way it was before. I can feel him holding back, and I ache with the knowledge that it’s costing him to give me what I need. He showed me earlier what he really wants, and I freaked out.

  “I can hear you thinking.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Shhh. Just relax and don’t worry about anything. Everything is all right. It’s just you and me here, Nat. No one else. I love you more with every passing minute. I want you any way I can have you. You’re absolutely perfect to me. I wouldn’t change a thing about you, except to take away any pain you ever experienced and replace it with beautiful new memories.” As he speaks, he’s kissing my face and returning to my lips for brief caresses before moving on to my neck and chest.

  “You’re the only one I want, the only one I’ll ever want.” He cups my breasts and runs his tongue over my nipples, which clears my mind of every thought that isn’t about the sublime pleasure I’ve found in his arms. Long before I’ve had enough, he moves on, leaving a path of kisses over my ribs and belly before moving lower. “So soft and so sweet. I love how you smell and how you taste. I could die happy right here.” He nuzzles the hair between my legs, taking a tentative swipe with his tongue over my most sensitive area before moving down to run his hands over the silky stockings that cover my legs.

  I’m carried away on a sea of sensation. His words, kisses and gentle caresses start a new drumbeat of desire that lives between my legs. I want him there, but he’s still in no particular rush.

  �
�So hot and so sexy. My wife is beautiful. Every guy in the world will be envious of the woman I get to sleep with every night.” His lips find a spot on the back of my knee that makes me moan. “They’ll look at you, and they’ll wish they were half as lucky as I am.” My legs end up propped on his broad shoulders. His hands are flat against my inner thighs, and his head is bent above me. “I’ve never tasted a sweeter pussy,” he whispers before he dips his head and opens me to his tongue. In keeping with the slow, undemanding theme, he drives me to the edge of insanity by kissing me everywhere but where I need him most.

  I grasp a handful of his hair to direct him, but he resists.

  He laughs. “Are you trying to take over my show?”

  “Just trying to move it along.”

  “Is this what you want?” He sucks my clit into his mouth and runs his tongue back and forth as he eases his fingers inside me. The combination triggers an orgasm that rolls through me in slow waves, one right after the other, until Flynn brings me down slowly, carefully.

  I reach for him. I need him to hold me, and he understands. He reaches for another condom before he comes to me, kissing me with lips that taste like me but feel like him. He’s more insistent now, his tongue demanding entry as he settles between my legs, his erection pulsing against me.

  With my hands on his back, I arch my hips, asking him to take me away, to make me his. He’s still kissing me when he begins to enter me, slowly and with far more patience than I have after this slow seduction.

  “Easy, baby,” he whispers. “Nice and easy.”

  It will be, I realize, a very long time before I see fast or frantic Flynn again, and that saddens me profoundly. I love him that way, but I love him this way, too.

  He pushes into me in slow increments, watching me intently for any signs of distress. “You feel so good, sweetheart. So hot and tight and wet.” He throws his head back. “Ah, God, you just got wetter. I love that.”

  “I love when you talk to me when we do this.”

  “Do you love when I talk dirty to you?”

  “I love it all.”

  His hips pivot, and he’s finally fully seated inside me, throbbing and hot as my body adapts to his size.

  “Are all men as big as you are? Down there?”

  “Fuck,” he growls, and I swear he gets even bigger. “You know how to make a guy feel good, baby.”

  “You know how to make me feel good.”

  “Does it feel good?”

  “It feels amazing. And tight. Very, very tight.”

  “We’re a perfect fit.” He pulls back ever so slightly before pressing forward again. “I’m right on the edge. Is it okay if I move a little?”

  “Please move.”

  “I want you to keep your eyes open and on me, okay?”

  I bite my lip and nod. My inner thighs are trembling from the pressure of keeping my legs so far apart.

  “What’s your safe word?”

  “Fluff.”

  The dog lets out an indignant snort and begins to snore again.

  Flynn smiles down at me. “I’m surprised she’s allowing such scandalous behavior in her bed.”

  I’m on the verge of a witty reply when he begins to move faster. He’s propped up on his hands, watching me carefully as his hips pivot with increasingly urgent movements in and out of me. It feels so good. My eyes want to close, but I keep them open and fixed on him so there can be no chance of panic.

  I move with him, picking up his rhythm and experiencing a profound sense of belonging to him.

  “I’m going to look away, sweetheart. You stop me if you don’t feel right. Okay?”

  “Okay,” I say on a long exhale.

  His right hand holds him up while he bends to capture my right nipple in his mouth, and his left hand reaches down to where we’re joined, touching me exactly where I need him. I’m hovering at the edge of release when his teeth tighten on my nipple and he pinches my clit, triggering my orgasm and his.

  “Ah, God,” he says when he comes down on top of me, capturing my lips in a deep kiss.

  He kisses between my breasts, his forehead resting against my chest.

  I comb my fingers through sweat-dampened hair, massaging his scalp, which makes him sigh with what sounds like contentment. I hope it is.

  I’m going to make him happy. No matter what I have to do, I will make him happy. Despite my determination, a niggle of doubt begins to take hold. What if I can’t do it? What if I just can’t be what he needs?

  Chapter 13

  Her panic attack has left me totally undone. I don’t want to be afraid to touch her, but I am. I’m terrified of doing something to bring that fear back to her eyes. If I never see that again, it will be too soon. It’s like navigating a minefield, not knowing what will set off the panic.

  Her fear was loud and scary. Mine was silent but no less terrifying.

  The most pervasive thought in my head is thank God I didn’t give in to the guilt and tell her about the club. That would’ve been a fatal error. She never would’ve married me if she knew about that.

  When my racing heart finally returns to a normal beat, I kiss her and withdraw to go into the bathroom to get a towel to clean her up. Then I use it myself and drop it to the floor before I crawl back into bed with her.

  She curls up to me, her hand on my belly. “Thank you for what you did.”

  “What did I do?”

  “You gave me exactly what I needed when I needed it. Most guys would’ve run screaming for a lawyer after that show I put on.”

  “I’m not most guys, sweetheart, and I will never leave you. Ever.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you if this is too much for you.”

  It pains me that she’s worried about me right now. “I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say that. I knew exactly what I was getting when I said ‘I do’ earlier, and nothing has changed since then except now you can’t get an annulment.”

  I feel her lips curve against my chest. “That’s the last thing I want.”

  “It’s the last thing I want, too.” I hug her in closer to me. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”

  Now if only I could figure out what to do about my fear of triggering another flashback for her. I’d rather die than do anything to cause her pain, and it’s going to be a long time before I forget the terrified look on her face, the screaming, the crying…

  It’s unbearable.

  I finally fall into restless sleep hours later. The next thing I know, we’re in the dungeon in New York, she’s facedown on the spanking bench, her arms and legs propped on the pads, her bottom raised for my pleasure. I’m aware that I’m dreaming and should put a stop to this while I still can, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I want to see how this plays out. I need to know.

  Her ass is red from my paddle, and the largest of my plugs peeks out from between her cheeks. It’s still not as big as I am, as she’s about to find out. We’ve been building up to this moment for weeks now, but something is holding me back.

  I’m afraid to scare her, to push her too far. She’s trembling, her legs shaking violently.

  “Nat.” I run my hands up the backs of her legs to cup her heated cheeks. “We don’t have to do this. You can still say no. Let me hear your safe word if you’re not ready.”

  “I’m not saying no, and I’m not saying my safe word either.”

  “You’re trembling.”

  “I’m excited.”

  “You’re not scared?”

  “Only a little. You said it will hurt.”

  “It will. At first, but if you stay with me, I can make it so good for you. You’ll come so hard, harder than you ever have before.”

  A huge shudder overtakes her. “Do it.” She’s so wet that her inner thighs are glistening.

  I bend to lap up that moisture with my tongue, licking her from front to back where she’s stretched by the plug. She’s as ready as she’ll ever be, and I can’t wait any longer. I have to have her sweet ass.
I need to know that every part of her is mine.

  Grasping the base of the plug, I begin to withdraw it, removing it in slow, steady increments that make her whimper from the pressure. Withdrawal is every bit as grueling as insertion was, and I take my own sweet time, drawing out the pleasurable pain until she’s a trembling, vibrating mess of sensation. As the plug pops free, I move quickly to stroke a handful of lube onto my hard cock. I apply more lube to my fingers and press them into her, making sure she’s as ready as she can be.

  I remove my fingers and replace them with my cock, pressing against her insistently.

  She cries out. “It’s too big, Flynn. I can’t.”

  I spank her ass, hard, and gain an inch. She’s so tight and hot that I worry I’ll come before I make it all the way inside her. “Who am I here?”

  “Sir.” She’s sobbing, but she’s not using her safe word.

  “Don’t forget it.” I soothe the place where I spanked, wanting to calm and comfort her now. “Press back against me, sweetheart. You can do it. You can take me.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. I know you can.” I reach around her to stroke her clit, and her entire body seems to clamp down on my cock, making me grit my teeth from the powerful need to come. That’s not happening until she takes all of me.

  I stay where I am, about two inches inside her, giving her time to adjust. “Ready for more?”

  “There’s more?”

  I can’t believe she makes me laugh at a moment like this. “A lot more.” Bending over her, I kiss her back, which is covered in goose bumps. I slide my hands under her, tweaking her nipples, trying to give her something else to think about other than the cock that’s breaching her ass.

  Rolling her nipples between my fingers, I give each of them a hard pinch that makes her scream and allows me to gain another inch.

  “Holy fuck,” she whispers. I’ve never heard her use that word before, and it’s hotter than hell coming from her.

  “Does it still hurt?”

  “It’s… Not like it did. It doesn’t feel good yet, though.”