“Do you really believe that, Pet?” she asked, her voice hardly more than a whisper, as if realizing what I’d said was dangerous.
“Of course,” I confirmed easily. “Even Lore probably realizes it now, though she’d never admit it. Those peasants didn’t deserve to be in the middle of a war, to have their homes burned, to be raped, to have their possessions stolen, or to starve to death from the famine that followed.
“The Vilken people are different from us. I won’t deny that. Still, they aren’t inherently bad, or even inferior. I actually think the Fae are more naturally aggressive than Vilkerlings,” I replied.
“And the Noge?” she asked.
“The Noge are the best of all people,” I said, smiling. “The Noge culture is beautiful, based on knowledge, insight, and a desire for peace. The libraries I’ve seen would amaze you, Lia. I wish you could come tour some of the great estates. Nogeland is in the midst of a golden age.”
“Are you extending an invitation?” Lia asked, her beautiful grey eyes lighting up.
“You don’t need my invitation, sweetie,” I replied, shifting my gaze away from her. “You’re a Noge Princess. Every door is open to you.”
“What about the door of Saranedam Palace?” she asked, her expression too serious. “Would you have me, Pet?”
“Saranedam isn’t mine. The palace belongs to your family,” I replied. “It’s not up to me whether or not you visit.”
Lia shifted closer to me on the sofa so her knee was pressing mine. I stared down at her thigh, imagining my entire being in that small part of me that touched her. When I raised my gaze to hers she was watching me with those intelligent grey eyes. A knowing smile spread across her face for a moment before she leaned forward to brush her lips against mine. When I sighed, she shifted to straddle my lap.
“You want me,” she whispered before leaning forward to kiss me again. “I can feel it in the way you touch me. I hear it in your voice, and smell it on your skin.” I raised my hands to her shoulders to hold her back.
“Whatever I might feel is irrelevant, Lia,” I replied. “This, whatever it is between us, can’t happen. Your future is with some Fae or Noge noble your own age, not with me.”
Lia nodded and shifted off me. “Go then. Get dressed to ride,” she snapped, refusing to meet my gaze.
I could tell she was upset, but I stood anyway, leaving her for only a few minutes, so I could change into my breeches and an appropriate tunic. When I returned to the sitting room, carrying my tall boots in one hand, she was pacing.
“You’re being cruel, Pet,” she snapped. “And you’re confusing me. Every sense tells me you want me as badly as I want you. Unless. Is it my mother who makes you smell that way?” I shook my head, basically admitting I wanted Lia. “How am I supposed to know what to do, or how to be around you if your body tells me to come closer while you keep pushing me back?”
“Lia, I’ve been honest with you from…”
“Why are you making me keep all of this pinned inside of me?” she interrupted. “How is that different from the way Mamma treated you?” she asked.
“Lia, you’re not in love with me,” I said gently. The words had hardly left my mouth when I admitted to myself what I already knew. Though she was only half Fae, the scent was there, surrounding us, that hint of berries and lemons, permeating the air.
“How do you know what I feel?” she snapped before turning to walk to the door. She had the knob in her hand, and I very nearly let her leave, but I was weak.
“Lia, wait,” I said, halting her. She hovered by the door, her back still to me. “You’re right. I’m aching with wanting you.”
She turned back and crossed the room in three quick strides, taking my shoulders in her hands and pressing me firmly back against the wall. Her lips were on mine in an instant, taking my mouth with urgency, making that first kiss between us seem tame. Her hands eased from my shoulders to encircle my waist as her lips trailed down my neck.
“You’re all I think about,” she whispered against my skin. “You have to let me hold you,” she added. “Let me be close to you, just for a little while. No one will find out.”
My heart was hammering in my chest as she drew back to meet my eyes. She read my expression and kissed me again, and I dropped the boots I was still holding to wrap my arms around her. With her hands on my waist, she gently guided me to the sofa, and not the bed, or I would have begun undressing her then. She eased me down, lying on top of me as her lips took mine again. I wanted her desperately. That much was clear from the way my body was reacting. I was breathing hard, my pulse racing. When her thigh inadvertently pressed between my legs, I moaned against her mouth.
In response, her hand slipped down between my thighs, pressing against me. I could have had a powerful orgasm from that small contact if I hadn’t halted it. I caught her hand and entwined my fingers with hers, continuing to kiss her, because I couldn’t stop myself, but not allowing her to coax me further across the line.
We remained on the sofa together all afternoon, her lips taking mine slowly after a while, as the urgency faded, but the hunger remained. She kept trying to touch me, but I wouldn’t allow it, aware that kissing Lore’s daughter was sin enough. Finally, as it grew darker outside, and I knew we were expected to attend a ball in a few hours, I realized we needed to stop. Her mouth was moving across my throat, and my skin was flushed and tingling, my breathing ragged.
“We need to ready ourselves for the evening,” I said next to her ear. She started to lift herself away from me, only to sink back down again, returning to my lips for a languorous kiss.
“All right,” she replied, smiling at me. “But only if you’ll let me dress you,” she said, teasing me.
“Lia, I’ll dress myself,” I replied curtly, shifting uneasily beneath her.
“Why can’t I help you decide what you’ll wear?” she asked, hurt registering in her eyes at my tone. I felt slightly relieved at the innocence of the request. I cupped her cheek in reflex, caressing her before I could stop myself.
“I’m sorry, Lia. I didn’t mean it like that. You can choose my gown if you like,” I agreed. She lifted herself from me, holding her hand out to lead me back to my room, and my clothes.
Once confronting my gowns, she took her time, methodically examining each one before settling on a simple, sheer, pale ivory, dress. I agreed readily when she held it up to me. She smiled and sank down on the edge of my bed to wait for me to try it.
“Lia, I can’t dress with you in here,” I said firmly. “It’s inappropriate.”
“What?” she said with a short laugh. “Was kissing me all afternoon appropriate, Your Grace?” she teased. “Obviously, I’ll see you without your clothes at some point, Pet,” she said, a cocky smile shaping her features.
“I’m not certain that’s true, Lia,” I replied. Though by then I knew I couldn’t resist her much longer. The last of my self-control was waning.
“Indulge me, please,” she said sweetly, smiling because she already sensed the power she held over me.
In one of my less pragmatic moments, I consented, turning my back to her as I stripped my tunic from my body. Before I even held my dress in my grasp, her hands were on my breasts, her mouth traveling across the plane of my back. Imprudently, I turned around, and she lowered her head to take one of my nipples between her lips. I moaned softly as she sucked the hardened peak. When my breath caught in my throat I knew it was inevitable. I would make love with her. My control was lost.
Not one for half measures, I gave in completely, guiding her back to my bed as I eased her clothes from her. I slipped her riding tunic over her head and lowered my mouth to take a pale pink nipple between my lips. She moved beneath me, helping as I unfastened her breeches. I deftly guided them over her hips. She was less graceful with my clothing, less experienced at undressing another woman, perhaps, but the result was the same. Soon we were naked, and my fingers were pressing inside of her as she bit my shoulder, le
aving a purple crescent shaped mark where her mouth had been.
It took little persuading to bring her to orgasm. As it thundered through her, I held her, telling her how beautiful she was. She lay limp on my bed for just a moment before I kissed my way down her body, pressing my tongue against her before moving down to kiss her inner thighs.
Her hips began moving frantically as I teased her, loving the pure taste of her, needing more of her exquisite body. Her thighs tightened against my ears as a more powerful orgasm crashed through her, and then she was still, shocked perhaps by what we had done. I eased up alongside of her, cradling her close as the magnitude of my transgression washed through me. I had made love with Lore’s daughter. It wasn’t simple sex, something to be done and forgotten, but love with all of the disasters and pain that entailed. To make matters worse, I was certain Lia was as wrapped up in me as I was in her. Only misfortune could await us, but it was too late for caution. Consequences would follow, certainly, and I’d accept them all willingly.
Lia turned toward me, seeking my lips, and I kissed her. Her hands moved over me, easing between my thighs and then hesitating.
“Show me,” she whispered against my mouth. “I want to make you feel wonderful.”
“I already do, Lia,” I assured her. “Simply holding you in my arms is the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever had.
“Please,” she insisted, reaching for my hand and guiding it down between my thighs. “Show me how.”
I shifted my hand to take control of hers, and pressed her fingers inside of me, showing her the way I wanted to be touched, and kissing her as she quickly brought me to orgasm. Afterward, she raised her hand to her lips and sucked the tip of her finger, tasting my wetness, as her silver eyes held my gaze. That artless, wanton, act flooded me with the purest, most potent lust I’d ever known.
“You taste sweet, like dewberries,” she whispered, before pressing her lips to mine. “I love the way you taste,” she added, before kissing me hungrily again and shifting me beneath her. “I want to taste you again,” she whispered as she eased down my body to press her tongue between my thighs.
When we finally managed to stop, we had to clean up quickly and dress. She brought her own pale silver gown to my room. I lifted it over her head and fastened it for her. I then worked her beautiful blond hair into a twist, freeing a few strands around her face. I clasped diamond clips in her hair, and draped my diamond necklace around her neck. I wrapped diamond armlets around her upper arms. She was beautiful in my jewels, glowing even, her eyes following me as I dressed, playing with my hair until we managed to conceal all of the grey in a knot at the back of my head. When we were dressed I appraised the two of us.
Anyone observant would know what we had done, by the way she moved, and by the love drunk look of her. Anyone might have recognized that warm, loose way she carried herself, and her slow smile, the way her eyes followed me, and her hands continually found me. For that reason I held myself with more rigidity. I couldn’t allow her to hold my hand as she had become accustomed to doing. I led her back into my sitting room and poured the last of my torppa into two glasses, hoping the scent of torppa on her breath would confuse anyone who might observe her into assuming she was only slightly intoxicated.
“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered close to my ear as we made our way down to the steps of the palace. “I can still taste you on my tongue,” she added, setting my heart racing. We were all riding together to the ball, an hour away.
-CH 3-
The ball was a blur of anxiety and bliss, as I held Lia in my arms to dance, aware anyone observing us, or who smelled us, would have to know we were bonded. I tried to be cautious, dancing with a couple of nobleman whose names I didn’t bother to remember, but Lia was so upset by what she termed my casual infidelities, after those first two dances, that I refrained from dancing again unless it was with her.
Miraculously, no one seemed to notice the change in her, or me for that matter. About halfway through the evening, she took my hand and led me from the ballroom and out into the garden. We walked together in silence until we were far enough away from the party that no one would hear our conversation. Then Lia lifted my hand to her cheek, wordlessly asking me to caress her. Of course I complied.
“Mamma told us at lunch that she wants you to move back to Lareem Palace. We’re to persuade you,” Lia said in a distracted, breathy voice, as I ran a thumb across her lower lip.
“Lore and I discussed it this afternoon,” I confirmed.
“So, this beautiful feeling will continue forever,” Lia said, turning her pale eyes to me in an expression of utter adoration.
“I refused Lore’s request,” I replied evenly.
“Then you have to tell her you’ve changed your mind,” Lia demanded quietly.
“But I haven’t,” I said. “This feeling will burn out, and when it does, you’ll want me far, far away from you. Saranedam won’t be far enough,” I explained. “You might even hate me a little. You’ll be relieved I don’t live with you then.”
“You’ll tire of me?” she asked, sounding hurt.
“No, of course not, Lia. You’ll tire of me, and soon, I can assure you,” I said gently. “What you’re experiencing is only a crush.”
“How can you say that?” she asked, moving away from my hand. “I’m in love with you.”
“I know you believe that,” I replied. “That doesn’t mean you’ll still want me in a few months. Love comes and goes easily when you’re young. You must realize that. Someone else will turn your head soon, and you’ll be glad to move on from me,” I assured her.
“You’re telling me what I feel, or will feel, again,” she snapped. “No one else has turned my head, as you so delicately put it, before. What makes you think someone will now?”
“What do you mean?” I asked too quickly. “Lia, you have been with someone before me, right?” I asked, suddenly worrying that I’d misinterpreted her level of experience. At her age I’d been with a half dozen partners already. “Clearly not another woman, but a boy, or a man?”
“How could you think that?” she asked, sounding slightly hurt. “I waited until I was in love. I waited for you, Pet.”
“Darling, you should have told me before I...” I stopped as I read pain in her expression. That’s when it sank in what I’d done, the severity of my transgression. “I didn’t know, Lia.”
“You love me. I know you do,” she replied. “Tell me you belong to me,” she said fiercely.
“Yes,” I agreed. “Of course I do.”
There was really nothing left for me to say. I drew Lia close to me, and kissed her smooth forehead, wishing I could make love to her again there in that garden under the bright stars. I was aware that when this came out, and there was no doubt in my mind that eventually it would, my life would become a nightmare. In that moment, I didn’t care. I kissed her gently, relishing the sweetness of her lips, and hoping we would have time to truly love one another. I wanted her to have some happiness to carry with her after M’Tek killed me, or threw me into a cell beneath Lareem, for seducing her virginal daughter.
“Tell me you’ll move back to Lareem,” she demanded.
“That I can’t do,” I replied, forcing a tight smile. “Come stay with me, at Saranedam Palace, after the season ends. I’ll take you on a tour of Nogeland, and introduce you to all of the Noge high nobility. We can even tour the torppine vineyards of northern Baneland you were reading about earlier,” I offered.
“That would be amazing,” she said, smiling again.
Lia reclaimed my hand, and we continued to walk through the garden in companionable silence. Just before we reentered the ballroom I released her hand, and she smiled at me. In the next moment Lore had seized my arm, guiding me to the middle of the ballroom for a dance. I glanced back at Lia, and she shrugged. I hoped, more than believed, she was indicating she didn’t mind. Not that I could have refused the dance with Lore.
“I think Lia’s in
love,” Lore said conspiratorially, once we were dancing.
“Do you?” I asked, glancing back to watch Lia as she headed over to M’Tek at the other end of the ballroom. A young nobleman approached wanting to dance with her. She raised her hand to ward him off, without even glancing at him as she walked on, completely ignoring the stunned young man.
“Isn’t that what the two of you were discussing just now?” Lore asked.
“We were talking about Nogeland, actually,” I replied. “I thought she might enjoy the solstice celebration this summer,” I added. Lore glanced over at Lia again, ignoring my attempt.
“She’s so listless. No one can get a decent conversation out of her,” Lore explained, still watching Lia. “Usually she’s somewhat quiet, but she’ll offer an occasional opinion at least. Lately, she just nods or shrugs her way through the day.”
“Maybe she’s tired from the season,” I offered, my gaze again returning to Lia as she reached M’Tek who was in conversation with the hosts of the ball.
“It’s no use deflecting, Pet. Lia must have told you. She even smells in love,” Lore said. “Who is it? I know you went riding with her this afternoon. Did she give you a name?” I was about to get myself into trouble, so I carefully sidestepped the pitfall.
“We didn’t ride after all,” I replied.
“Did she fail to show?” Lore asked, concerned.
“No. Lia wouldn’t do that. It’s just…we just sat around talking,” I replied stupidly.
“I knew she told you,” Lore replied. “And you’re keeping her confidence,” she observed. “I think I have a right to know what’s going on with my daughter, Pet,” she added. “I insist you tell me what you know.”
“Lore, please, do not ask me about Lia,” I said, my heart starting to beat faster than the exercise of the dance merited. “I can’t tell you what you want to hear.”
A Fortunate Woman Page 4