“You don’t really believe that, do you?” I replied, chuckling as I shook my head. “You’ve been the Fae Queen for almost three centuries, and you’re not dying anytime soon.”
“You don’t think I’ll step aside?” M’Tek asked.
“Absolutely not. Why should you?” I asked. “Lore made me Prime of Nogeland because she could keep the power and dispense with the daily responsibilities. In a similar vein, I think you might make Ania the Prime of Faeland, and Lia the Prime of Nogeland.”
“Lore told me you asked to be relieved of the title,” M’Tek observed. “You were anointed, Pet. Even if she desired it, Lore couldn’t strip you of your Primeship. It’s who you are now.”
“Lore is the Noge Queen. She can do whatever she chooses. Of course she could strip me of my title. Soon she will,” I said, laughing lightly. “Mark my words. I won’t be her Prime another year. I’m in this role now, only because it suits her. I assure you, the moment I cross her, it won’t.”
“In what way could you possibly cross her?” M’Tek asked. I pressed my lips together and diverted my gaze. “All right then, assuming you’re correct about Lore’s power to remove your title, what about loyalty?” M’Tek asked. “Lore loves you.”
“As you’ve said, the title is bestowed for life,” I pointed out. “Lore may show her affection for me by allowing me to step aside, rather than die.”
“You really believe we’re that ruthless?” M’Tek asked.
“If you’ll remember, I was an orphaned girl, alone in this palace, and next in line to the Fae throne. One of the reasons I survived into adulthood, so near your great seat of power, was because I understand you,” I replied. “I don’t think less of you for it, but you will do what suits you,” I added. “You always have in the past. From what I’ve seen of Lore recently, she is no different from you now.”
“But you’re family, Pet,” she said.
“No. I’m not. You call me cousin, but our blood link is slight. What I am, and have been to you, is an extremely effective and competent servant,” I said. “That is all.”
“Do you honestly believe that?” M’Tek asked, sounding both shocked, and hurt. “I’ve loved you since you were an infant. I was your guardian, your protector, from the time you were a small child.”
“Really? Is that what you were, my protector? When is my birthdate?” I asked calmly. M’Tek focused on her boots as I continued. “Where was I born? I’ll give you a hint. It wasn’t Tannukyn Hall. You’ve never once spoken of my mother to me, despite the fact that you were quite close to her. I wondered if maybe she was the reason you were so exacting with me when I was a child. Am I right?” I asked. “Do you even know how old I am?”
“Lore was right,” M’Tek observed. “You’re still upset with us, and with me in particular.”
“No. That’s inaccurate. I’m simply tired of the pretense. I’ve been an efficient servant, but that is all,” I repeated. “You and I are not closely related. Lore does not love me. I’m not part of your family,” I summarized. “What I am is fourth in line to your throne, the Grand Duchess of Tannuk, and currently the Prime of Nogeland. I’m also extremely wealthy, and quite powerful in my own right. Even after Lore, inevitably, strips me of my Primeship, I’ll still be the third most powerful person in the twin sovereignties.”
“I had great respect for your father,” M’Tek said when I finished. “He was the Grand Duke of Tannuk, and my cousin, P’Tak, the last true Lemu born. You should be proud of him. He was a great general,” M’Tek asserted.
“Of course I’m proud of my father,” I said quietly. “But should I be proud of my mother?” I asked, carefully controlling my tone. M’Tek’s gaze returned to me as she tried to hide her discomfort. “She kept your bed warm for a longer span than most of your lovers. Some of my earliest memories are of playing in your rooms in the mornings after you’d risen. I still remember the way her eyes followed you when you were near. She adored you for the first three years of my life,” I observed. “And she took her own life by jumping from the cliffs when I was four.”
“I was away when Cora’Lyn died,” M’Tek said, holding my gaze. “I was stunned when I learned what she’d done. She was a beautiful woman, and an extremely talented artist,” M’Tek said soberly. “You have her greenish golden eyes, her copper hair, and her talent. There have been moments, flashes, when you wore one of her expressions, or used her tone. But you were so young. I didn’t realize you remembered her, or my involvement with her,” M’Tek surmised.
“Did you know she took me to the cliffs with her that day?” I asked calmly. “I believe she was planning to take me with her. She kept promising I would meet my father as she carried me out there. For some reason, at the last moment, before…at the last moment, she carefully placed me down at the cliff’s edge.” M’Tek closed her eyes and placed a hand over her face.
“I’m so sorry, Pet,” she said in barely more than a whisper. She opened her eyes and focused on me again. “If I could go back and change the past, I would. I don’t know what I could have done to save your mother, but I’ve always regretted what happened.” Those words were the first acknowledgement of remorse I’d ever heard from M’Tek. The callous I’d developed in regard to her loosened slightly.
“I was born here, in Lareem Palace,” I volunteered in response. “It was only a few months after my father died, in a battle against the Vilkerlings, near the Wasteland Pass. My birth occurred on the eve of summer solstice, almost forty-six years ago,” I finished quietly.
“I remember your birth well. Whether you like it or not, you are my family, Pet. As flawed as I am, I’m all you have, cousin,” she offered. “Even if I’d wanted to, I never could have replaced your mother, but I should have been more nurturing with you. I simply didn’t know how. Instead, I demanded too much of you, forcing adult responsibilities on you when you were still a child, and leaving you to navigate this byzantine society without guidance. It’s only by comparison with the way I’ve protected Lia and Ania that I’m able to realize how utterly I failed you. I wasn’t equipped to raise a child, so I trained you, as I would a valuable horse. Still, you were my heir, and I’ve always loved you. I never saw you as a servant,” she said firmly. We were both quiet for a moment as her gaze rested on me. “These years apart have changed you.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “They have.”
“They’ve changed me as well. Will you give me another chance, cousin?” she asked, holding my gaze. “I truly miss having you in my life.”
“I will,” I agreed cautiously. “One more.”
“You’re dressed for a ride. Would you mind if I accompany you?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t mind.”
M’Tek and I were out riding all day, both preferring to avoid the hysteria of those final preparations at the palace. We ate at a little tavern in Lareem Village, and then raced through the countryside, jumping the low places in walls to neighboring estates, and racing along the edge of the cliff.
We returned to the palace with just enough time left to dress. M’Tek draped an arm across my shoulders as we walked back from the stables. She was teasing me, offering an estate in the south, which adjoined Tannukyn, in exchange for Khol. I was refusing when we were intercepted by an irate Lore.
“Deus, Pet’Wyn! Where have you been?” Lore exclaimed. My gaze shifted to M’Tek, who started laughing as she realized everything I’d told her about my position as a servant in her family was true. “Stop laughing, M’Tek. You knew I was looking for your cousin, and you ignored me,” Lore snapped. “You two have been out playing all day, leaving me to deal with this disaster alone. Ania’s been asking for you specifically, Pet. She’s locked herself in her rooms, and refuses to dress. Lia rode out trying to find you hours ago and hasn’t returned, so I’ve been alone to deal with Ania. The girl is a frantic ball of nerves. Go and calm her down. Now!”
“As you command, my queen,” I said offering an exaggerated bow and cutting my eye
s to M’Tek to make my point.
“What did you say?” Lore snapped. “Pet, I’ve had enough of your…”
“Lore, my love, Pet is not our servant,” M’Tek interrupted, catching my shoulder to prevent me from following Lore’s rather direct order. “My cousin needs to dress for the joining this evening just as the rest of us.”
“I never said she was a servant,” Lore replied in a softer tone. “But Ania needs her, now.”
“I’ll see to our daughter,” M’Tek said to Lore. “Pet, please allow me to apologize for Lore. As you can see, she’s overwrought. We both know I’m perfectly capable of parenting my own child, so, I don’t want you to worry about anything.” I grinned at M’Tek, liking her far better in that moment than I had for many years.
“Thank you, cousin,” I said. She squeezed my shoulder and released it, turning her attention back to a frantic Lore.
After that narrow escape, I took my time soaking in the large tub in my bath chamber. I went under the water, holding my breath and listening to the sound of my own heartbeat reverberating off the walls of the copper tub. I’d enjoyed myself with M’Tek for the first time in years, and actually remembered why I loved her. It was strange to find those feelings I considered lost reawakening.
When I broke the surface of the water, I opened my eyes to discover Lia standing in my bath chamber with her back to me.
“Lia?” I said her name, and she turned around to face me.
“I thought she’d found out about us,” Lia said, her eyes still red from crying. “I was afraid of what she’d do to you.”
“What are you talking about? Do you mean M’Tek?” I asked, realizing Lia was shaking. “You were afraid M’Tek might harm me?”
“She’s the one who will kill you if you cross them,” Lia said. “That’s what you told me. I thought she had found out about us and was going to kill you.”
“I’m sorry you were worried, Lia,” I said gently, as Lia came over to kneel alongside the tub.
She reached for me, managing to get her sleeves wet up above the elbow as she gathered me to her. She kissed me, and water splashed over the side of the tub onto her breeches, drenching her and pooling onto the floor.
“Darling, you’re getting water everywhere,” I pointed out, smiling at her.
“I don’t care about that,” she said. “I only care about you, Pet. We have to leave, as soon as you can dress,” she added. “You were right. They’ll never give us permission.”
“I’m not as certain as I was before. M’Tek might give her blessing if I approach it in the right way,” I observed.
“Did you talk to her about us today?” she asked, the fear leaving her face. “Is she going to convince Mamma?”
“We’re a long way from that, Lia, but my cousin and I understand each other better. I think over the course of the season, I might make progress with her,” I explained.
“I was so afraid,” Lia said. “You don’t think she would kill you?” she asked.
“I never said M’Tek would kill me, Lia,” I corrected. “I was referring to war and battles, not family members,” I said.
“But you said you aren’t really our family,” Lia whispered.
“I might have been wrong about that too,” I explained. “I’m the closest M’Tek has to a cousin. She educated me, and sheltered me within the palace when I was a child. I think that means we really are family.”
Lia stood and started stripping away her wet tunic as she scrambled out of her boots. She then nimbly slipped out of her soaked breeches, and climbed into the tub with me.
“What are you doing?” I asked as she settled back at one end of the copper tub, facing me.
“I’m sharing a bath with you,” she said, stating the obvious. “I’m filthy from riding all over the countryside searching for you. I don’t have time to have a bath drawn, so I’m sharing yours,” she explained, smiling impishly.
“Come here then. Let me wash your hair,” I offered.
She shifted around in the tub, settling between my thighs. I unwound the tangles in her beautiful golden hair, and then had her dip beneath the water. When she came up I lathered her hair. She moaned quietly as I worked my fingers against her scalp.
“You have the most wonderful hands,” she said, sighing again as I massaged her head. “Why haven’t we ever done this before?”
“Usually my hands are better occupied when we’re naked,” I teased, laughing. “I promise to wash your hair for you whenever you want, from now on,” I added as she moaned softly.
“Deus, Pet, you’re amazing,” she said, taking one of my hands from her hair and easing it around her, and down between her thighs. Once my fingers touched her she whispered, “Do you think we have time?” We heard someone coming into my apartment without knocking, and Lia froze.
“Pet,” Lore called from my sitting room. “I’d like to discuss a few things with you.”
“One moment,” I called.
Apparently Lia had left the doors between my bedchamber and the sitting room open. The last thing I needed was for Lore to come back through my bedchamber and into the bath chamber, looking for me, and find her daughter sitting naked between my thighs.
“Stand up very quietly,” I whispered into Lia’s ear.
Lia lifted herself off me, and I stood quickly, abandoning her to finish her bath. I retrieved a bath sheet, wrapped it around myself, and went out through my bedchamber and into my sitting room. Lore moved over to the sofa and sat, patting the place beside her in invitation.
“Allow me a moment to find a dressing gown,” I said, before returning to my bedchamber.
Lia was sitting on one of my trunks, wrapped in a bath sheet, soap still in her hair, and wearing an anxious expression on her beautiful face. I quickly grabbed some of my riding clothes and handed them to her, reasoning that she would be less anxious if she were clad. “You still have soap in your hair. Go finish your bath, and then get dressed,” I said. “Lore has no reason to come back here now. You’re safe.” I wrapped myself in a dressing gown and returned to the sitting room, carefully closing my bedchamber door behind me.
“I was in my bath,” I explained, sinking down beside Lore on the sofa.
“That was obvious,” she snapped.
“What can I do for you, my queen?” I asked, forcing a smile to cover my irritation at being interrupted.
“Will you please stop calling me that, Pet?” she snapped. “I get that you’re irritated with me. You don’t have to make a point of it every time we speak,” she said sharply. “And what was that before, in the stables?” Lore asked, clearly fuming.
“Do you mean when M’Tek said she would see to Ania?” I asked, still smiling, though my cheeks were beginning to burn slightly from the forced expression.
“Why are you like this all of a sudden?” Lore asked. “We’ve been friends for years. Even when we weren’t communicating I felt closer to you than I do now. Lately, it’s as if you hate me,” she said. “And since when do you prefer spending time with M’Tek to being with me? And now you resent my request for help with my anxious daughter on her joining day?”
“It wasn’t a request, Lore. It was a command,” I said. “Does it bother you that I’m no longer your slave?” I asked. “For years, I would have done anything you wanted, anything. You had absolute control over me. That’s why you felt close to me.”
“That’s not true,” she argued.
“Then why, suddenly, do you find me so difficult?” I asked. “I think it’s because I’m no longer anticipating your every need,” I said. “M’Tek is the one you should count on, Lore, not me.”
“But when the girls were young, you were there for us. Why can’t you be here for us now?” she asked. “We’re the only family you have.”
“Because I’m family, I just spent an entire week decorating the ballroom for Ania’s joining ceremony,” I replied. “And as for her meltdown today, I tried to head that off yesterday. I simply couldn’t convince
her to open up to me. I’ve been here for you, Lore,” I said, my tone sharp. “I can’t always work miracles.”
“I’m sorry, Pet. You’re right,” she said, her voice softening. “You’ve worked yourself half to death for us all week. I’ve been out of my mind with anxiety over this whole mess. I know I’ve been difficult. I just can’t stand it. Ania is joining with that dull boy. She won’t be happy, but no one could talk her out of it, not even you.”
“They aren’t children anymore,” I observed, softening toward her. “You have to allow them to make their own mistakes,” I pointed out.
“Really? But I could save them so much pain if they would only listen to me,” she said. “I can’t endure seeing them upset, or hurting. Lia was devastated after that mysterious flirtation she had last year. If I could have found whoever it was that broke her heart I’d have killed the woman with my own hands,” Lore said. “It’s so incredibly difficult, loving someone completely, and understanding her so little,” she added.
A reply was likely expected of me, but I was too distracted by the image of Lore killing me with her bare hands to think of the correct response. I didn’t doubt that she could kill me. I’d seen her in action, with the combat arts master. Lore was a formidable warrior.
“All right, Pet,” she said. “Do you think I should stop this joining from happening?” she asked.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I think you should talk to Ania, and M’Tek, and maybe, Lia,” I said, thinking if she made the rounds in that order, Lia could be dressed and ready by the time Lore went looking for her.
“You think Lia might have some insight?” Lore asked, brightening.
“Of course she does,” I replied. “Lia loves her sister. She’s been trying to talk her out of joining with Fen’Tun all week. Talk to Ania and M’Tek first, though,” I added.
“But I’ve already talked to them. Ania’s a ball of raw nerves, and M’Tek has her hands full trying to calm her down,” Lore said, dismissing my suggestion. “I think I’ll go find Lia and talk it over with her.”
“All right,” I said hesitantly.
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