Cruel Summer

by Alyson Noel

  And also, YANNIS IS COMING. Here. Tonight. For a BBQ. But those two friends of his, Maria (black hair) and Christina (orange hair), who just happen to be related to one of Tassos’s best friends (Christina is his friend’s daughter, Maria is her cousin), are NOT invited (I made sure of that). Anyway, apparently the only reason he didn’t call or come by sooner is because he had to go to Athens for a few days, and NOT because he suddenly decided he didn’t like me, or anything remotely like that.

  Please note the lack of exclamation points even though I really am excited about both of these things.

  Though I must admit, the neutral punctuation is probably due to the fact that all of my excitement is currently being overshadowed by my mom and dad’s last phone call, where they both informed me, under no uncertain terms, that they retain the right to divorce, date, throw open houses, and basically make a string of not just bad, but extremely reckless decisions that will surely result in the complete unraveling of my life, and quite possibly my future.

  Also, I was reminded, that as a minor, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about any of this, since they are the ADULTS, while I am merely their CHILD. At which point they went on to assure me that I shouldn’t take everything so PERSONALLY as none of it is meant that way.

  They are simply dedicating themselves to doing “What is in the best interest of everyone.”

  And all I can say to THAT, is:

  If that’s so true, and they’re so DEDICATED, then how come they’ve yet to stop and consider what might be in the best interest of ME?

  How come they can’t just grow up, stay put, and:

  JUST LET ME GET THROUGH MY LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL MORE OR LESS UNSCATHED?

  Seriously.

  I mean, just one more year, that’s all I ask. And after that, after I graduate high school and head off to college, they’re free to self-destruct or do whatever the heck they want.

  Just let me complete my childhood first.

  I wonder if I can divorce them?

  Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When She’s So Happy She Can Hardly Breathe!

  July 27

  Haven’t been blogging. Haven’t been e-mailing. Haven’t been letter writing or postcard sending. Haven’t been to the Internet café. Haven’t even turned on my computer in what seems like forever but is probably just over a week. And all of this is happening because:

  I’M CURRENTLY IMMERSED IN A VERY SERIOUS CASE OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE—MUTUAL LIKE!

  Ever since the night of the BBQ, when Yannis rode up on his bike and smiled at me, my stomach started doing a series of somersaults and backflips, which, to be honest, haven’t really slowed down since.

  But it’s not the same kind of nervous and anxious feeling I had with Levi. It’s more like a tingly, CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO ME kind of feeling. And even though I kind of felt like that back when Levi first kissed me, for some reason it’s even better with Yannis.

  I guess because being with Yannis feels more real, less borrowed.

  Anyway, he pretty much just parked his bike, sat down beside me, and didn’t really go anywhere else for the rest of the night. And the whole time we were talking and laughing and getting to know each other better, it felt like only half my brain was actually focused on what we were saying and doing, because the other half couldn’t stop thinking: I wish he’d stop talking and kiss me!

  But since Tally, Tassos, and all of their friends really weren’t allowing for much in the way of privacy, I pretty much resigned myself to yet another fun, yet passion-free night.

  But then, after we ate and it started to get dark, Yannis leaned toward me and whispered, “Wanna go for a ride?”

  And of course I said yes.

  And even though I was fully expecting to end up at that club again, this time, after riding around for a while, we ended up at his favorite beach instead. Then we parked on the road, and ran down to the sand, where he laid out a towel for us to sit on as we gazed at the moon and the stars, trying to spot the different constellations, until he finally worked up the nerve to kiss me.

  That’s right—HE had to work up the nerve to kiss ME!

  Which means, I was making him feel just as nervous and giddy as he makes me!

  Which is also the exact opposite of Levi, who pretty much assumes that every girl in any given room is totally willing to make out with him on a moment’s notice. (Though to be fair, that’s probably only because it’s so true.)

  But even though it’s probably true for Yannis too, he just doesn’t have that same kind of confidence arrogance as Levi. He’s just way more polite, more respectful, and would never try to push someone to do stuff they may not be ready for.

  Anyway, one minute we were talking about the Big and Little Dippers, and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. And let me just say that it was TOTALLY AMAZING!

  Not awkward at all. Not even in the very beginning of the kiss, which is normally a pretty tense moment since both parties are striving to choreograph a duet that neither of them has ever rehearsed (at least not together).

  But with Yannis, it was like both our lips just knew EXACTLY what to do and EXACTLY where to go, and it felt like magic.

  In fact, it was so amazing and magical that we stayed there for hours, just kissing and talking, but mostly just kissing. Until it eventually got too cold for the shorts and T-shirts we were both wearing and he decided to take me home.

  And this time when he dropped me off, he kissed me again, and said, “See you tomorrow?”

  To which I just nodded and smiled and ran inside the house, thinking I would write it all down in this journal.

  But in the end I chose to just lie on my bed, close my eyes, and relive it over and over again in my head, until I eventually fell asleep, where I dreamt about him too!

  And sure enough, the very next day he came by again. And he’s pretty much been coming by every day since!

  So after just skimming through all of my previous journal entries I can hardly believe what a big whiny baby I’ve been. And it’s so embarrassing to read all of that, I’m thinking about ripping out all of those pages and burning them at Tally and Tassos’s next BBQ.

  I mean, what could I possibly have been thinking? This place is BEAUTIFUL! It really is like PARADISE, only I was too blind to see it.

  Granted, it may not be all that exciting or hip and trendy and jet-set and glittery like Mykonos, but when you’re in the right company you really don’t need all that flash.

  It’s like I wrote in my blog—Paradise is a state of mind!

  And Yannis is just so incredibly sweet and cute and awesome, and he’s even teaching me Greek! These are some of the words I’ve learned so far:

  Koukla Mou—(Obviously I’m not using the Greek alphabet since our lessons haven’t quite progressed that far.) Which literally means something like “my darling.” Which actually sounds kind of old fashioned and weird, which is also why it’s better to avoid the temptation to directly translate everything, and just take the overall gist of the word or phrase instead. Which in this case would make it more like: honey, or maybe even, babe. (Okay, still kind of weird, but I know for a fact that he means it in the nicest way!)

  Omorphos—means pretty! (He said this about my hair on a day when I really didn’t think it was looking all that omorphos!)

  Apothe—means tonight! (As in, we go out just about every apothe! Which also happens to be true!)

  Efcharisto—means thank you. But when I could barely get the hang of pronouncing it, Yannis told me to think of it as a person named F. Harry Stowe. Which I have to admit is so much easier!

  And Yannis—means John. (But I still call him Yannis because it sounds way more exotic.)

  Though Colby doesn’t mean anything, it’s just plain Colby. Which is what he calls me when he’s not calling me Koukla Mou.

  And, oh yah, S’agapo means I love you. Not that he said it or anything. Though I did ask Tassos how to say it just in case Yannis does decide to
say it, then I’ll know what it means. But I really hope he doesn’t decide to say it because that’ll just wreck everything. I mean, it’s way better to keep things casual and not get all serious and over involved—just try to stay focused on having fun, and not make a bunch of false declarations and promises we’ll never be able to keep.

  Anyway, we actually see each other so often we’ve worked out a little schedule. Like, in the mornings he almost always goes to work, helping with the construction of the hotel his family is building, but in the afternoons he usually meets me and Tally and Tassos at the beach for siesta, or sometimes we just go on our own, and he always thinks it’s so funny how I refuse to take off my top. But since I’ve yet to take it off when we’re alone, I’m certainly not going to do it for the first time in front of a whole crowd of people. I mean, I actually managed to lose my virginity without once taking off my top, so why start now?

  Anyway, at night we usually go into town and hang at that club he first took me to, or we ride around on his Vespa, looking for some quiet place where we can be alone and make out.

  And I have to admit that even though it’s fun to hang out with all of his friends and cousins and stuff, my favorite times are always when it’s just the two of us, all alone, gazing at the stars, kissing, or sometimes even just talking. And it’s weird how I feel so relaxed around him, since I’m usually pretty nervous around guys (especially really cute ones like Yannis!) since it’s not like I’ve had lots of experience with boyfriends or anything. But with Yannis, everything feels so natural and easy and comfortable.

  Which, again, is pretty much the exact opposite of how I felt with Levi.

  Though of course, wouldn’t you know it, just as I’d given up, just as I decided to move on and forget about him completely, Levi decides to e-mail me about his upcoming cruise, and now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I mean, luckily he’s not coming HERE, because that would be really awkward now that I’m hanging out with Yannis so much. But still, he is going to MYKONOS, which is just a short boat ride away.

  If I choose to make the journey, that is.

  I mean, I’ve been DYING to go to Mykonos this whole entire time, or at least since my plane landed there and the guy I sat next to told me it was the only island worth visiting. Only now that I have an actual excuse to get on the ferry and go, I’m no longer sure that I want to.

  Though luckily I have a little over a week to decide.

  Okay, I can hear Yannis’s bike in the drive, but let me write one more thing that’s kind of been bothering me in the midst of all this incredible happiness:

  I’m not sure why, but I haven’t exactly been truthful with him about my life back home. I mean, I guess it’s because it’s just such a relief to be hanging out and having fun and not thinking about any of my problems that it kind of makes me reluctant to bring it up.

  Though if I’m really going to be honest, then I also have to admit that the other reason is that I don’t want him to think of me as sad, or pathetic, or worse. Because even though I’ve only met his cousins and his little brother, Christos, and I haven’t met his parents or anything, when he talks about them, he always says such nice things that it makes me feel kind of weird to talk about mine. Especially since I’m not thinking so well of them at the moment. I mean, truth be told, I’m so upset, angry, and disgusted with them, I don’t even think I could fake it if I tried. And I just can’t bear to have Yannis think I’m a loser, or that my home life is one big disaster.

  Even though it is.

  Because right now he sees me as this happy-go-lucky, free-spirited, California girl. (Okay, one who won’t take her top off, but still.) And that’s the way I’m determined to keep it.

  Okay, he’s knocking on my bedroom door—so—gotta run!

  Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When She’s Desperately, Deliriously, Seriously Liking Someone

  August 1

  So last night Yannis took me to dinner. And even though it wasn’t exactly the first time we’d eaten a meal together, it was the first time we’d eaten a meal without being chaperoned by Tally, Tassos, his little brother, or any one of his hundreds of cousins and friends. We even went to a restaurant that was a non-cousin-owned establishment. And I know, because I checked.

  Anyway, it was awesome.

  And dreamy.

  And magical!

  But all that magic actually started when he came to the house to get me, and I opened the door and felt my heart skip a beat—seriously! I mean, even though we see each other every single day, something about seeing him standing in the doorway, all dressed up, with flowers in hand (Yes! He even brought me flowers!), smiling like he really was happy to see me, well, it made it seem like the very first time all over again.

  Maybe it was the cool jeans he was wearing, or the nicely pressed shirt, or the way his deep green eyes gazed into mine. Maybe it was the way he smiled, so genuine and warm and inviting. Or maybe it was the way his arm felt so right when he slipped it around my waist.

  Whatever it was, I felt like pinching myself, since I could hardly believe that this wonderful, cute, sweet, amazing guy had shown up just for me!

  Anyway, when we got to the restaurant, they led us to a table in this tiny but beautiful courtyard that was all lit up by candles and moonlight. There was music playing in the background, and everything about it was just so perfect and romantic and amazing—the kind of night you always dream about, or see in movies, but doubt you’ll ever experience for yourself.

  So after this great dinner that included all kinds of food I can’t pronounce, much less spell, we walked around town for a while before stopping by our favorite club to say hi to some friends and hang for a little while, before getting back on the bike and heading over to our favorite beach.

  And I don’t know if it was the caffeine (I had two and a half Cokes at dinner), or the moon (it was round and full and amazingly bright), or just that wonderful, expansive feeling of being so far from home and so free, but before I could even stop to think about what I was doing, I stripped off my dress and ran straight into the sea.

  So of course, Yannis stripped off his shirt and pants and followed.

  And then we swam, and splashed, and chased each other through the surf, going under, popping back up, until he eventually caught up with me. And when he turned me to face him, he kissed me in a way that reminded me of that very first night—back when we were new and hesitant and full of wonder.

  And when I opened my eyes I saw his green ones gazing into mine, and his dark, wet curls curving against the sides of his face, and the clusters of water droplets shining silver in the moonlight as they clung to his tan, bare skin.

  And he was so beautiful, and so tempting, and so alluring, and so immediately THERE, that I yanked free of his arms and ran right back to shore, struggling to get back in my dress before something happened to change my mind—unwilling to make the same mistake twice.

  Then we lay on the sand and held hands, both of us enveloped in silence and darkness, as I closed my eyes and tried to capture the moment, willing it to never end.

  August 3

  To: Levi501

  From: ColbyCat

  Re: UR cruise

  Hey Levi,

  I jus got UR msg & 2 answer UR? I’m not in Mykonos, I’m in Tinos. Tho I can C Mykonos bcuz it’s pretty close by. So I’ll def try 2 meet up w/U. Jus lemme no the xact day & time, K?

  Ciao—

  Colby

  Circle in the Sand

  Blog Comments:

  Anonymous said:

  Where are you?

  Please don’t tell me you’ve given up on your blog?

  ColbyCat said:

  I’m back, it was merely a brief vacation, I assure you!

  Circle in the Sand

  August 3

  I’m back! And no, ANONYMOUS, I have not given up on my blog. Though I have discovered a little something I like to call GETTING A LIFE. And now that I’ve got one, I find it’s taking up
most of my time. Though apparently you’re not the only one who missed me, because Petros actually gave me A HUG when I walked through the door! He said he was sure I’d gone back to America without even saying good-bye (which I would never, ever do!). But even though he claimed to be relieved and happy to see me, he still made me pay for my frappe. (Though according to his son, Stavros, the fact that I even got one free drink out of him is a bona fide miracle!)

  So without further delay, here are some pictures for you to enjoy—

  1) That is a picture of me attempting to windsurf. Can you believe it? My friend Yannis is actually really good at it, and he was determined to teach me, so I could be good at it too. But please don’t be too impressed by what you see here, because the truth is, that photo was taken during the two and a half seconds I actually managed to stay up! Because, trust me, just one second later, I fell ack-basswards into the water!

  2) That is a picture of Mr. Holly Golightly—notice how much bigger (and cuter!) he’s gotten! Though he still gets all pissy whenever I try to cuddle him too much.

  3) That is a picture of Tassos’s studio, where he makes the most beautiful marble sculptures (Tinos has a very famous marble sculpting school where Tassos sometimes teaches) and pottery and stuff, don’t you agree? Though don’t be fooled by the simplicity of it, because it is way, WAY harder than it looks. Seriously. When he sat me down at the potter’s wheel and tried to teach me how to do it, I failed. BIG-TIME. And what was supposed to be my vase totally collapsed and became nothing more than a big, runny lump of clay.

  4) See that big, runny lump of clay? That’s my vase. I so wasn’t kidding.

  5) That’s a picture of Yannis petting Holly. Notice how he has no scratches on his arms. I have a terrible suspicion that Holly actually likes him better than me even though I’m the one who saved him from starvation. Apparently cats have short memories. Which means my next pet will be an elephant.