Prognosis Baby Daddy: A hot medical romance

by Amy Andrews

  ‘But then I go into the gardens and I see Mario everywhere. He loved those gardens. Every nook and cranny reminds me of that day...rounding a corner to see Bianca with Mario...her shirt unbuttoned...’

  The rich vein of hurt in his voice made Katya queasy. He may be pretending he’d sworn off love but how true was that when a decade later he couldn’t even bear to talk about what had happened. Was he still in love with her?

  A dead woman? Who’d betrayed him?

  Something squeezed her heart and the hopelessness of her love was brought into sharp focus.

  ‘Are you angrier with him or with her?’ she asked.

  Ben blinked. No one had asked him that before. And if they had, he probably would have said Bianca. But being forced to confront it now, he realised he was angriest with his brother.

  He sighed. ‘Mario, I guess. There are just some lines you don’t cross.’ It felt amazingly cathartic just to admit it.

  Katya nodded. She understood a little better now that people were only human, with human failings. ‘Of course, Ben, he was your brother. You idolised him. And he let you down. And then you had to go from hating him to grieving him with no time in the middle for reconciliation. But you can’t get over it by denying he ever existed. Running away from the memories. You need to be able to accept he was human and celebrate his life.’

  Ben frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’ She groped around for an idea. ‘How about some kind of memorial for him and Bianca in the gardens somewhere? Put your own stamp on them, too?’

  Ben regarded her seriously and nodded slowly. ‘Maybe.’ He was beginning to think that Mario and Bianca had done him a favour. Had they never betrayed him, he wouldn’t have ever known Katya.

  And suddenly he couldn’t imagine being without her.

  CHAPTER NINE

  A WEEK later Katya stopped midway up the clinic’s grand stone staircase for a breather. It had been long day in the operating theatre and everything ached. Ben’s offer to move her into the administration side with Carmella was looking more and more attractive as standing for long periods of times was becoming very wearying.

  She looked down at her belly and wondered how it could possibly get any bigger. And she still had eight weeks to go! The baby seemed to have had a growth spurt and she felt uncomfortable and was sure she was waddling. Ben reassured her that she wasn’t, which was sweet, but she knew he was lying.

  Katya had never known it was possible to be this tired. The baby’s size was even making it uncomfortable to sleep so she was back to being an insomniac again.

  ‘You OK?’ Ben asked, from behind. One hand automatically reached for the muscles at her neck and started to knead them. The other automatically caressed the bulge of her tummy as he dropped a kiss against her neck.

  A few months ago I could take these stairs two at a time.’ She grimaced, closing her eyes as his fingers worked their magic.

  Ben could see Katya was looking more and more exhausted each day. ‘Cara,’ he said softly, ‘I think it’s time to give up work.’

  Katya’s eyes flew open and she stepped away from him. ‘I’m fine,’ she said testily.

  ‘Cara,’ he said, looking at her reprovingly. ‘I think it’s becoming obvious that you need to put your feet up and rest.’

  And sit around thinking about him all day?

  She shook her head. ‘No. I like working. I like working here particularly. Don’t you understand? I didn’t expect to but I do. If I sat around doing nothing all day, I’d go mad.’

  God, she could be exasperating. ‘Katya, think of the baby.’

  She heard the reproach in his voice and wanted to kick him in the shins. Well, as long as the baby’s OK. ‘The baby is fine,’ she said, and turned on her heel.

  Except somewhere in the execution of her about-face she tripped herself up and before she knew it she’d slipped and fallen and was bumping down the stairs, flailing around like a beached whale, trying to stop, trying to protect the baby from the fall.

  ‘Katya!’ Ben lunged for her but couldn’t grab her in time and he rushed down the stairs, reaching her as she came to a stop in a crumpled heap at the bottom. ‘Katya. Katya!’ His heart was galloping in his chest. ‘Are you all right?’

  She was lying very still and he turned her over, a dozen dreadful scenarios marching through his brain. God, please, let her be all right!

  Katya’s eyes fluttered open. She moaned. Now she really did ache everywhere. Her arms and legs felt battered and she lifted her hand to the back of her head and gingerly prodded a rapidly growing lump.

  Ben gently investigated the bump. ‘I think you need an X-ray.’

  Like hell. She wasn’t exposing her baby to any unnecessary radiation. ‘I’m fine, Ben,’ she protested weakly, pushing herself up.

  ‘You need to get checked out,’ he said, supporting her into a sitting position.

  Katya looked into his eyes. She could see the concern in his brown gaze. Was it for her or for the baby? ‘Don’t worry. Ben, the baby’s fine.’ She stood up, shaking his hands off her.

  ‘The bump on your head needs looking at. You took a big tumble.’

  ‘I feel fine,’ she reiterated, pushing away from him irritated by his concern.

  Ben watched her go and raised his eyes heavenward. Give me strength! If she thought he was just going to let her walk away and not get checked out then she didn’t know him at all.

  Katya hurried away, knowing she was being unreasonable, but loving him and knowing that his only interest in her was the baby and some latent sexual chemistry was harder than she’d thought.

  She felt a sudden warmth between her legs and stopped abruptly, looking down, her pulse spiking. ‘Ben!’

  He was at her side in seconds as she stood stock-still in the corridor, her hand clutching her stomach. ‘I’m bleeding,’ she said, staring at the growing red stain on her scrub pants.

  The baby. Had she hurt the baby?

  Ben’s heart climbed into his mouth when he saw her bloodstained clothes. Swearing, he swept her up into his arms.

  ‘Where are we going?’ she asked, clinging to him, trembling all over, biting her lip to stop the tears that were building in her eyes.

  ‘Rocco.’

  Katya lay very still as Rocco ran the transducer over her belly. Her mind was frozen, fear for her baby bringing up all the horrible possibilities.

  How could she have been so stupid?

  Why had she insisted on working?

  If she’d been sitting at home with her feet up, this would never have happened. I’m sorry, baby, I won’t put you in danger again.

  Ben and Rocco were talking in Italian over her, pointing at various things on the screen, but she wasn’t listening. Her eyes were fixed on the image. At the baby’s strong heartbeat and its vigorous, healthy movements.

  He was OK. The baby was OK.

  Her relief was immense. As was the sudden clarity that descended on her. She could no more hand her son over to Ben than fly to the moon. She touched the screen as she had done at her first ultrasound.

  I promise to protect you from everything. I promise to be vigilant. I promise to give you everything I have.

  I promise to love you above all else.

  ‘Rocco says the baby looks good. The fall seems to have caused a small area of the placenta at the margin to come away and bleed. But the rest of the placenta looks healthy.’

  Katya nodded, a surge of relief bringing her thought processes back on line. ‘Thank you,’ she said to Rocco.

  ‘As the bleeding’s now stopped Rocco recommends bed rest for a couple of days and then he’ll scan you again. But if you notice any decrease in foetal movements or any more bleeding, he wants to see you straight away.’

  ‘Of course,’ Katya nodded. Anything. She’d lay in bed for the duration if that’s what it took for the baby to be OK.

  Rocco left and Katya sat on the narrow couch, letting Ben do a full neuro as
sessment on her. It was making him feel better and she was still so relieved to see the baby was OK, she didn’t even think to protest. After it was done he walked her up to their quarters, stood outside the cubicle while she showered and then tucked her into their bed.

  ‘Do you want me to stay?’ Ben asked. It had been a frightening couple of hours and the last thing he wanted to do was go back to work. But there was still one more case to complete.

  ‘No.’ Katya smiled reassuringly, lying on her side and hugging her belly. ‘I’ll be fine.’

  ‘Page me if you need me,’ he said, dragging the bedside phone closer to her. ‘I’ll bring us some dinner when I finish.’

  Katya nodded and was grateful when Ben finally left. Her mind was whirring around despite the classical music Ben had switched on before he’d left. She knew what she had to do.

  She couldn’t stay any longer.

  She knew now there was no way possible she could hand this baby over to Ben and walk out of its life. Those awful moments when she’d thought she was losing the baby or had harmed the baby had been the worst of her life.

  Worse than discovering her pregnancy. Worse than admitting her love for Ben.

  Why had it taken a threat to the baby’s life for her to realise the truth? It was her destiny to be a mother to this child. What kind of a fool had she been?

  Yes, she had been scared. Scared that she’d make a mess of it. Scared that something awful would happen to him as it had happened to Sophia, as it nearly had today. Scared that she couldn’t provide for him like Ben could. Scared of the single-parent life she was about to embark on which her own mother had failed at so miserably.

  But it all paled in comparison to her love and desire to be with this baby. Ben’s son. Her fear of never seeing her child far outstripped her fear of failure. She was just going to have to be the best damn mother she could.

  The safest. The most vigilant. The most loving.

  Because she’d known, looking at that screen, her baby strong despite the trauma it had been through, that she couldn’t give her baby up. She’d known it as surely as she’d known that day she hadn’t been able to terminate the pregnancy.

  The revelation had been unexpected. It had been much simpler before today. Pregnant with baby. Don’t want baby. Have baby. Leave baby with father.

  Simple. Straightforward. Uncomplicated.

  Although as each day passed and the end drew nearer and she felt a deeper and deeper connection with the baby, the lines were blurring. And falling in love with Ben had complicated it further. And now things were as sticky and mired and complicated as they could get. Which meant only one thing.

  She had to get out. Leave Ravello. Leave Positano. Leave Italy. Leave Ben. Get as far away as possible.

  Because she couldn’t hand her son over and she couldn’t stay either. Ben had made it very clear that he wouldn’t love again. Couldn’t love again. And she couldn’t live with him, loving him, knowing that she’d never hear those words. Sitting in their house, waiting for him to say them, hanging on, getting more and more desperate every day — just like her mother.

  Becoming old and bitter.

  Watching him heap love on their child. Growing jealous of that? No, she would slowly wither and die. There was no choice. She had to cut her losses now.

  Loving Ben these past few weeks had been a surprise and a complication she could have done without but she was a big girl, a practical woman, and she’d known she could bear a broken heart to achieve her goal. But today, with the fall and the bleeding scare, the lie of the land had completely changed.

  So now she was stuck with two choices. Leave the baby with Ben, as their deal currently stood, and go on her merry way.

  Impossible.

  Or stay in their one-sided relationship and raise their child together. And die a little each day.

  Also impossible.

  But there was a third option. Take the baby and run. Possible and plausible.

  Essential.

  But could she do that to Ben? As painful as it was to admit he didn’t love her, the same couldn’t be said for their baby. Ben was besotted with him. He spent ages each day talking to his son. First thing in the morning and in bed at night he would stroke her stomach and place his lips against her bulge and whisper sweet nothings to it.

  In two languages.

  He talked about the baby non-stop. Told her the things they were going to do together and the places they were going to go and the things he wanted to show his son. At the moment he was going through three different name books, hoping to find a good balance between the baby’s Russian and Italian ancestry.

  He was completely and utterly committed to their baby. Head over heels in love with him. How could she take away the one thing Ben wanted more than anything? The one thing that had started to restore his faith in love?

  In family?

  But how could she stay and keep herself whole? How could she stay and not turn into her mother?

  This was her dilemma.

  She couldn’t leave her son behind, neither could she stay in a relationship where she was never going to be loved, hoping for some crumbs of affection. She knew Ben was going to be hurt. Angry, probably. But she couldn’t stay.

  Her childhood memories of her mother’s emotional destruction were still too vivid. She’d fought all her life to escape the scars of her upbringing, determined not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, and she wouldn’t compromise on that because Ben might get hurt in the process.

  She could only hope that he had enough compassion in him to understand her motives.

  Katya stayed in bed for two days, going slowly stir-crazy. Ben was attentive to a fault which made her cranky and irritable and guilty, knowing what she was about to do to him. She had no further bleeding and the baby was as active as ever. Rocco was pleased with the second scan but cautioned Katya to give up work and take it easy for the rest of her pregnancy.

  Katya promised she would and she could see Ben’s visible relief in the periphery of her vision. Poor guy. He had taken her moods on the chin the last two days and been the absolute soul of patience. Her heart swelled with love even as a hot knife was jabbed into her side at the thought of leaving him.

  Heading back to their quarters, Katya packed her bag, taking only the things she’d arrived with. There was much more stuff she’d accumulated these past weeks but she had all she needed - her plane ticket, her passport.

  And the baby.

  Her heart was heavy as she paged Ben who arrived a few minutes later. She turned to face him as he entered and tried to memorise every feature. He looked so male and sexy in his scrubs, her chest swelled with love and eyes blurred with tears.

  Her lover, her heart.

  If only it didn’t have to be this way. If only he could love her like she loved him.

  Ben glanced at the bag at her feet and the tears shining in her eyes. He frowned. ‘What’s all this?’

  Katya dashed the tears away and searched for the hard woman who had arrived here some months ago. She’d thought this through enough times in the last two days. Now was the time for action.

  ‘I’m l-leaving.’

  Ben stared at her vacantly for a few moments, letting her announcement sink in. He felt as if he’d taken a punch to the solar plexus from a world boxing champion - short of breath, his stomach dropping, his mind reeling.

  What the hell did she mean?

  ‘I’m sorry? What do you mean, you’re leaving?’

  ‘I thought I could do this...I really did, Ben. But the other day, when I was bleeding and I thought I was losing the baby, I realised I couldn’t. Couldn’t walk away from him.’

  Ben looked at her earnest face. She didn’t want to give the baby up? But that was...perfect. ‘So don’t.’ He could tell she was just holding herself together, that one wrong word could see her walking out the door. ‘Stay here with me and we’ll raise the baby together. My offer of marriage still stands.’

  Katya bit he
r lip to stop the sob that rose in her throat at the casual offer. ‘We don’t love each other, Ben.’ The lie hurt so much she had to gulp in a big breath to ease the pain.

  ‘No, but we love this baby, and that’s a good start.’

  She stared at him, eyes blurry with tears. What had she expected? That he go down on one knee and admit his undying love? She took some deep breaths.

  How, how could she marry him?

  She’d never be able to trust his motives. She’d question every aspect of their life together, everything he did, everything he said, not knowing if it was her or the baby motivating him. She couldn’t — wouldn’t — marry someone who didn’t love her.

  She shook her head. ‘I can’t give him up and I can’t marry you either.’

  Ben’s heart beat like thunder in his chest and a slow steady burn rise in his chest. ‘So, what? You’re just going to leave?’ His voice was low. Angry. ‘Cut me out of my own child’s life? Because you’d better know — I won’t take that lying down.’

  Katya swiped at a tear that had finally escaped to splash down her cheek. She heard the threat in his voice and knew it wasn’t an empty one. She knew he had the power and the means to follow through.

  Knew that he’d move heaven and earth for his child.

  ‘No. I won’t cut you out but I need some time away to think about how we can handle this.’

  ‘Where do you propose to go?’

  ‘London,’ she said. It was a good distance but not too far.

  Ben could see all his hopes and dreams for the three of them crashing down around him. Katya had been adamant that she wasn’t ever going to be part of their lives, but he had built up that fantasy anyway, convinced she would change her mind.

  And she had, but she’d also completely changed the rules.

  He felt like he had that day with Mario and Bianca. Like the rug had been pulled from under him. ‘Like hell you’re going to London. You’ve just had a bleed, it’s not safe for you to travel.’

  She flinched. Again, his concern for their baby was total. ‘Rocco assured me it would be OK to travel.’ She had enlisted Gabriella’s help as an interpreter after Ben had left.