Edge of Humanity (Only Human Book 5)

by Candace Blevins

  I’m all yours. She offered her arm, I grasped it, and seconds later we were in the hotel suite.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Apparently, I’m so heinous even the Amakhosi is disgusted by my actions.”

  “Fuck.” She sighed. “Lion society is misogynistic by definition. Within the Pack, gender isn’t as important. I mean, we pay attention a little, but women can achieve the same titles a man can, if they’re strong enough.”

  “And lion society doesn’t work that way. At all.”

  “No, but I think Nathan’s problem might run even deeper.” She sighed. “You need a bath. I brought the soothing oils, just in case.”

  “Epsom salts, too. I feel like I need to detox.”

  “Those I don’t have, but I can have some delivered.”

  I shook my head. “They can wait. A bath with soothing oils will be a big help.”

  I turned the bathwater on and started to undress, and she turned to leave.

  “Wait, please.”

  She stopped, but kept her back to me.

  “I’m starting the bath right away so I can try to get warm. I’m cold all the way through. We still need to talk, and I’m not ready to be alone with my thoughts.”

  “Okay. I’ll change clothes and be right back.”

  “Thank you.”

  I felt her having to fight the compulsion to do as I’d said. My adding please and thank you kept it at bay a little, but she still had trouble telling me no, sometimes. I hated it, but hadn’t figured out how to completely get rid of it.

  I stepped into the water and sat before the tub was even close to being filled. I hadn’t been joking about being dangerously cold, and I sank into the glorious heat with a sigh when the hot water came almost to the top of my thighs. I needed this.

  The water was up to the bottom of my ribcage when she returned, and I was feeling much better.

  “Did I go too far?” I asked.

  “Absolutely not.” She chuckled. “I have a missed call from Kendra. I wonder if word’s reached her yet of you namedropping her as a coach?”

  “She’s the one who suggested I’d terrify my victim even more by mentioning her.”

  “I know, and I also know you aren’t ready to talk to anyone else, yet.”

  Not after the way Nathan reacted. I needed to come to terms with it before I faced anyone else.

  “Why do you think it went deeper than Pride misogyny with Nathan?”

  “I’ve heard rumors about the things he did before Aaron befriended him and reminded him of his humanity. I know he specifically stays away from missions where he knows the team will need to torture someone. The highest level of us have been told his humanity is sometimes hanging by a thread that we do not want to see broken again.” She pulled a hairband from her sweatpants pocket and pulled her hair in a ponytail. “He’s a lot easier to work with now than he was years ago, and some of us have theorized you brought even more of his humanity back.”

  “And then he had to watch me torture someone without remorse.”

  “Right.”

  I breathed in the rose and frankincense, breathed out my stress. “Five thousand Celrau. Can we fight them and win?”

  “Depends on how well trained they are. Since we don’t know how many new vampires they can make a month, I’m thinking we need to engage them sooner rather than later.”

  “There won’t be a way for the Concilio to keep a battle that large under wraps.”

  “Some of the biggest battles of history involved supernaturals throwing magic around, and humanity is still unaware.”

  “That was before Facebook Live.”

  “Which won’t work if the communications networks are taken out of the equation.”

  Kane and Ranger arrived while we were talking, and Ranger talked to us through the bathroom door. “Aaron wants two people plus Cora to have eyes on you for the next forty-eight hours.”

  “Aaron’s giving orders?”

  “Yes.”

  His voice told me there was a problem. I wanted to let it go, but ignorance could get me hurt.

  “What did Nathan do?”

  “Attacked Marco for helping you with the interrogation. Said he egged you on and you wouldn’t have done it without his help. Mordecai showed up out of nowhere and intervened, thank goodness.”

  Mordecai was watching? Was it because Nathan and I had called Xaephan, or was he looking out for Lauren? Asking him probably wouldn’t get me any answers, but I’d have to try the next time I saw the old god.

  “Where’s Nathan now?”

  “I believe he’s a guest of the local Pride.”

  Which meant he was fucking someone who wasn’t me. I hoped he didn’t hurt her — or them — but I knew better than to try to tell him what to do.

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  “It’s hard to have eyes on you in the tub.”

  Ranger wasn’t going to let this go. Maybe we could negotiate for one person plus Cora until I finished my bath.

  I sighed. “You’ve seen me naked before, and you’re a shifter. If you come in then I can soak another thirty minutes. The third set of eyes can be right outside the door. Right?”

  Shifters don’t view nudity the same as humans. They all try to give me the leeway they give other humans, and I appreciate it, but Ranger’s seen me stripped and flogged in BDSM clubs, so seeing me naked in a tub wasn’t a big deal. He belongs to Bethany and won’t do anything to mess that up.

  I turned the hot water back on until I could barely stand it, and leaned back to breathe in the calming, soothing scents. I heard the door open and shut, but my eyes were closed so I didn’t acknowledge him, because that would’ve been awkward.

  Cora held my robe for me when I finally got out of the tub, and I wore it while we all got something else to eat. We had French onion soup in a can, and I nuked it in the microwave and downed it. Heaven in a can.

  It was daylight when I finally crawled into bed. I’d texted Lauren while she ate breakfast and was assured she was fine. Aaron had two people watching her from a distance, plus her grizzly bear walked her to classes when he could.

  28

  Nathan went back to Chattanooga the next day, before I had a chance to see him. I didn’t call him because I wasn’t up to defending my actions. The cat needed time to cool off.

  The following week was without event. Lauren found her rhythm with classes and friends, and I was certain she’d be fine when it was time for me to leave.

  Mac went home, Ranger stayed, and a few wolves I didn’t know well showed up to round things out. I told Aaron I needed to pay him the fees for protection for Lauren, but he said she was in danger because I worked for him, so it was covered.

  The Drake team didn’t scent or sense anyone around who shouldn’t be, and it was so cold I could’ve keyed a tank with my nipples any time I went out without my electric vest.

  Lauren and I talked every night, but we sometimes went days without seeing each other — which was perfect. She needed to wean herself away from me. Just knowing I was close let her breathe easy.

  A week after we fought the Celrau, Marco invited us to New York. He lives on Long Island, and we were invited to stay with him a few days.

  I checked in with Lauren, who wanted to be sure I was coming back, but said it was fine for me to be a few hours away for a couple of nights.

  I had plenty of alone time while in Marco’s impressive mansion, because Cora thoroughly enjoyed herself with his company while we were there. He offered me a male pleasure slave, but I politely declined. What the fuck would I do with a pleasure slave? Order him to whip me?

  No.

  I did ask to meet the man, though. I’d needed to be sure the word slave wasn’t literal. Turns out, it kind of was, but the oh-so-submissive deer-shifter was terrified at the thoughts of me trying to free him. He was happy with his life and didn’t want a change. He lived with the flock and wasn’t in a locked jail cell. He even had access to Marco’s boats, and wa
s welcome to take a few of them out, which he apparently did quite frequently on pretty days. It was clear my intervention wasn’t needed.

  The mansion was near the beach, but a huge stand of trees blocked the view, so no one would see the house from the water. For that matter trees blocked the view of the house all around. Vampires like their privacy.

  I met many of the humans in Marco’s flock because I was pointed to their workout room instead of the one the vampires and shapeshifters used. They adored Smokey, and he loved the attention.

  I didn’t learn anything specific, except that Kendra had been correct about Marco being one of the good guys.

  I also spent time with Marco’s researchers, and saw everything Marco had given them, and the steps they’d taken to find out more information. It seemed Marco was trying to be an open book about letting me have access to the data we collected during the interrogation, which made me wonder what he was holding back.

  Still, I assured him I’d make sure he was given whatever information we got out of Oscar. Assuming Aaron and Nathan gave it all to me, anyway.

  Marco also told me I could stay in Cambridge as long as Lauren needed me, though I got the distinct impression he’d be happy when I was out of his territory. I didn’t ask who was taking over Valerie’s position. I figured it was a sore spot and I shouldn’t pick at it.

  Lauren’s hug was practically a death grip when I showed up at her dorm, and I held her until she didn’t need to hold me anymore. We talked about her professors, friends she’d made in various classes, and the new friends she’d made in the dorm.

  And about how much she liked the grizzly bear. I wanted to ask if she wished she’d waited, so Wyatt could be her first, but I held my tongue. She’d talk to me about it if she needed to.

  Cora and I had checked out of the hotel when we went to Long Island, and we checked into a less expensive hotel in Boston. Still less than thirty minutes away in normal traffic, but no longer right down the street. Our guards flew home when we went to Marco’s, so Cora and I were on our own, which was nice. We explored Boston and the surrounding area as tourists.

  Seventeen days after we moved Lauren in, she told me she’d be okay if I went home.

  I paid Heather to come get us in her plane, and we turned the SUV in at the airport. I didn’t want to do the long drive again, but flying commercial with Smokey would’ve been a pain.

  Cora had called Randall to ask for a ride for us and Smokey, from the airport to my house. She figured a packmate would be waiting, so we were both surprised when we looked out the private plane’s window to see Nathan leaning against his Sherpa, his arms crossed and one leg bent so his foot rested on a tire behind him.

  He walked to the plane to help with our bags, and I stopped to meet his gaze. “It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.”

  “We’ll talk later. I wanted to see you home, but I still need some time.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “What are you sorry for?”

  “That my actions upset you.”

  “But you aren’t sorry for your actions?”

  “I wish it hadn’t been necessary, but I’m not sorry I did what had to be done.”

  He looked at the horizon over my head for a long moment, his eyes unfocused. When he met my gaze again, the wall was back. “I want to be clear that I understand why you did it, and I’m not judging you for doing it. I’ve done worse. It isn’t about that.”

  “Then what’s it about?”

  “The kind of people I let get close to me.” He ran a hand through his recently trimmed hair. I liked it better messy. “And it isn’t just the one time. You held Gavin’s heart in your hand? What the fuck?”

  “I can’t talk to you about that.”

  He didn’t say anything, so I added. “I still love you. I’ll be sad if we don’t spend time together anymore, but I understand you need to protect your psyche.”

  “Just…” He waited until an airplane took off and the noise level quieted. “I need some time. Nothing’s decided. I love you too.”

  We walked to the Sherpa in a balmy thirty-eight degrees, which I’d have thought freezing a few weeks earlier.

  While he drove us, I wanted to ask him what they’d found out from Oscar, but my instincts told me not to bring it up. I’d ask Aaron later. Instead, we told him about visiting the aquarium in Boston, and how the seals had been so interested in Cora. She’s used to animals avoiding her at zoos and aquariums — or trying to attack through the glass — and was fascinated that they were so curious about her with no fear.

  He helped get our luggage in the house, walked the entire yard and house, and said goodbye at the door.

  “Can I have a hug?” I asked.

  It was like asking a cat if you could pet him. He considered it a few seconds and said, “Yes, I think that might be okay.”

  But then only gave me a half-hug before escaping as if I’d burned him.

  Cora and I watched a few hours of a southern television show full of love triangles on Netflix before we even considered moving off the sofa. It was truly good to be home.

  Eventually, we went to the grocery store and liquor store, came home, and fixed two lasagnas — meatless for me, full of meat for her. We drank margaritas while we stacked them, and I was nicely toasted by the time they came out of the oven.

  “There are too many Marcus’s and Marco’s,” I told her when we ate. “I need to get in touch with psychiatrist Marcus in the next couple of days, so I can see about getting back to work. I need to help people.”

  Nathan wasn’t entirely wrong to want to stay away from me. I hadn’t come to terms yet with what it had taken for me to torture the two Celrau vampires. Or rather, I hadn’t come to terms with the lack of guilt and regret I felt. Was I becoming a monster?

  Like Nathan, I needed time. Helping others would help.

  “I’m going to spend some time at Randall’s tomorrow,” said Cora. “My wolf needs to run.”

  “Alone, or with company?”

  “Both? Maybe a few hours alone, but then I’m sure she’d be happy to chill out with you.”

  “Works for me. With Randall’s permission, perhaps I can meditate in my favorite tree.”

  “He won’t be around tomorrow. I’ll let him know you’re coming.”

  I shook my head. “I should make the request.”

  Cora sighed. “Yes. You’re right.”

  Things were so touchy with Randall, and the last thing we wanted was for Cora to accidentally take over the Pack. Telling him I was coming wouldn’t be good.

  “Talk to him about where he needs another Pack,” I told her. “Figure it out, and we’ll sell this house and buy one wherever you need to be. I’d like to be on a mountain, and still in Tennessee, but those aren’t absolutes.”

  She put her fork down. “You’re sure?”

  “This house isn’t terribly easy to defend, and the neighbors are so close, I worry about someone getting hurt if I’m attacked at home. You’ll need a house with land, and enough space the Pack can feel at home. Whether we buy land and build two houses, or we both live in the same house… I guess we’ll have to figure out. I’m not sure it’d be acceptable for a human to own all or part of the Pack Alpha’s home.”

  “Fuck that. We live together as long as it makes sense. A bigger house would allow us to both find a partner without getting in each other’s way.” She shrugged. “Or to stay single if we want. I’ll address it with Randall.”

  When it was time for bed, I looked into Lauren’s room and realized I didn’t know where she was or what she was doing. What she’d ate. How her day had been. How much homework she had. Whether or not she was hanging out with a certain grizzly bear.

  I turned music on and got into the shower before the waterworks started. I wanted to cry without anyone knowing, but I should’ve known better. I laughed through my tears when Smokey poked his huge head past the shower curtain to check on me.

  If Smokey
heard me, so did Cora, so I said, “I’m fine. Just need to let some emotions out.”

  I came out of the shower to the sight of my favorite soft robe hanging on the door, and the smell of brownies baking.

  My best friend wasn’t going to let me deal with empty nest syndrome alone.

  I was going to be okay.

  Stay up to date on Candace’s new releases by signing up for her newsletter.

  Do you want to know more about Patrick’s adventures taking over the Ringgold Pack? Keep reading for an excerpt from Careful What You Ask For.

  Bibliography

  If you enjoyed Edge of Humanity, you may also like other books set in the same universe, though in different series.

  Chattanooga Supernaturals series, paranormal romance:

  The Dragon King (Aaron Drake’s story, and the first time we meet Duke and Brain)

  Riding the Storm (Kendra and Eric’s story)

  Acceptable Risk (Bethany, Ranger, Mac, and Jonathan’s story)

  Careful What You Ask For

  Hallowed Destiny – Forged by Darkness

  Uncaged (Ghost’s mother’s story)

  Cocky Queen

  Only Human series, urban fantasy

  Only Human

  An Unhuman Journey

  Of Humans and Monsters

  Defining Human

  Edge of Humanity

  Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club Series

  Duke

  Brain

  Bash Volume I

  Bash Volume II

  Bash Volume III

  Horse

  Gonzo (where we first meet Britches/Briana)

  Nix

  Ghost

  Bud

  Razor

  The Dark Underbelly of The Chattanooga Supernaturals

  Pride (A short story featuring The Lion King)

  Indentured Freedom: Owned by the Vampire (Gavin)

  Leashed (Abbott)

  An Elegant Weapon (Bran)

  A Dark(ish) Faerie Tale

  Slave