Cinder To Ash (Tainted Hearts Book 3)

by Summer, AJ

  “I remember you,” I say, trying to figure out if he’s going to chop me up now.

  “I remember thinking you were the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen. I still think so.” Parker’s eyes are drilling into mine, making my already loss for words ten times worse.

  “Uh, thanks?” I hope that does it. I’m starting to feel really uncomfortable.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. If ever things don’t work out between you and Jase ... well a guy can dream right?” With that I’m sure the big guy in front of me blushes and I relax a little. Serial killers don’t blush, do they? He looks so embarrassed that I feel sorry for the guy. I lean forward and give his arm a squeeze.

  “There will never be place in my heart for anyone but him. But thank you for the ride. I better get back now, before Lewis sends the flying squad after me.” I give him a great big ‘we’re friends’ smile and put the helmet back on. This time I do up the clasp myself.

  “Can I buy you a coffee? A quick one? You can send Lewis a text, let him know you’re okay. Let me make it up to you for that terrible come on line I just dumped on you. I’ll feel much better,” he pleads. His face seems sincere. I pat my jeans down for my phone but come up empty. I must’ve left it in my bag at home. Sending Lewis a message from Parker’s phone will just make this mess Lewis and I are in, messier. He needs to cool his heels. Another twenty minutes won’t kill him.

  “Okay, let’s go have coffee.”

  The coffee shop is right in town. When we get inside all the waitresses and staff behind the counter stop talking and start cleaning various parts of the shop. One even wipes down the plants. Weird. Parker leads me over to a black leather booth with a great window view of the garden outside. There’s a little honey sucker playing in a bird bath hanging from a tree. A waitress hands us menus and waits while looking at Parker nervously.

  “Give us a minute, Kylie.” The girl jumps before muttering a quick yes sir.

  “Come here often?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at the nervous girl.

  “Actually I just inherited this place.” He looks a bit uncomfortable with that. It’s a great place. Crap! Its Reno’s place. I remember the reviews in the newspaper. Is he Reno Parker’s son? Did he say what his surname was? Surely, he isn’t Parker Parker? That would just be dumb. Or maybe he goes by his last name. Channeling some of that newfound courage and take life by the balls attitude, I decide to just ask him. He hasn’t looked up from his menu since he told me he was the owner of the best coffee shop in town.

  “You’re the guy they’re talking about on the news? You’re Reno’s son?” I try to ask in as calm of a voice as I can, but it’s difficult. There were rumors about Reno being a drug dealer and a big boss in the local gangs around here. Parker runs his hands through his hair and lets out a soft sigh.

  “Yes. I might be. I have a brother.” Straight face, no emotion. His dad was shot a few weeks ago and he looks fine. Maybe even a little disgusted by his heritage. Parker has some serious bones in his closet. I really hope not literally.

  “So you’re Parker Parker?” I try to keep a straight face while asking that ridiculous question but a tinge of amusement slips into my voice at the end. Parker lifts his head and smiles at me.

  “Actually, I’m Xavier. Xavier Parker. Nice to meet you, Mia…?” He holds his hand out to me and I take it.

  “Mia Andrews.” We shake and the waitress arrives hoping to get our order this time. I order a small coffee and check my watch, it’ll be dark soon and I have no idea how long it’ll take to get any information out of Lewis. If he’s pissed at me I might not get any at all. I’ve already been gone for almost an hour. “The news said you stayed with your mom?” I ask. Did he come to Bailey because his dad got killed?

  “Yeah. This is all new to me.” Maybe it’s just my imagination but the look on his face tells me he is talking about more than just this coffee shop. Parker doesn’t look like he wants to discuss the topic any further, so I drop it. Everyone has their own problems and I really don’t think I can help Reno Parker’s son with any of his. I smile at Parker and the waitress when she puts our coffee tray onto the table.

  “And you’re working at the bank?” I ask, trying to get comfortable conversation back after I asked him about his mother.

  “Yes,” he replies with a small smile. I think he then realizes that I’ve been instigating all the conversation. He gives me a small shake of the head. “I’m sorry. It’s a good thing this isn’t a date. I suck.” He plays with his coffee cup, his other hand rubs at the back of his neck.

  “It’s okay.” I smile at him. “It’s not every day I get to have coffee with a spoilt Mafia brat,” I tease on a wink. Parker almost chokes on his coffee.

  “Mafia. Not me,” he says chuckling. “My brother, maybe.” A dark look crosses his face, turning the whole atmosphere down to crap. Parker changes the subject quickly to explaining how banking and finance work. I drink my coffee, as fast as could be considered polite, while listening to Parker talk about working in finance at the bank. He enjoys being at the coffee shop more but doesn’t have any experience in running the place. He reckons he’ll get the hang of it eventually. He looks like a smart guy, so I agree. We finish our coffee and Parker even leaves a tip. Then he takes me home. All very boring except for the teeny-tiny part of him being half mafia.

  When we pull up to the house, Lewis is sitting on the step at the front door. His head snaps up when the sound of the bike gives away our arrival. He glares from me to Parker and holds up both his and my phone. I take off the helmet and hand it back to Parker. Lewis takes an angry step forward.

  “Ten times! I phoned ten times before I heard this, ringing in your bag.”

  I ignore him and say to Parker: “Thanks for the ride, and the coffee. You should go now. He can get a little crazy.” I tilt my head at a fast approaching Lewis.

  “You can’t tell me anything about crazy.” He doesn’t even look at Lewis, just puts the helmet on and revs his bike twice before he leaves me with a wink from those mysteriously green eyes of his.

  “Stop!” I hold my hand palm out to Lewis and it collides with his chest. He breathes heavily but deflates immediately. I can handle boys and their temper tantrums. Lewis is no different. “I went for a ride on a motorcycle. I had a coffee. He works at the bank with Aiden. We came home. And you know what? It was all pretty damn boring. I had fun with you. I had fun on the bike. I was happy. I was NOT complete. I heard what you said about Jase and me. And I’m very fond of you, but so help me with all that is good and holy, if you don’t tell me where Jase is right now, I might cause you serious bodily harm.” I take a deep breath, my lungs aching from saying so many words in such a short time.

  “Okay.”

  “What?” I gasp, my jaw almost hitting the floor.

  “I said okay. It’s time anyway. Let’s go inside first. Jenna and Aiden have something to tell us. They’ve been waiting for you. James is inside too,” he says this all very calmly. Too calm. He’s known where Jase was this whole time? Has he talked to him?

  “Have you spoken with him?” I ask.

  “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “A few times,” He shakes his head and looks down at his feet.

  “Damn it, Lewis! Why didn’t you tell me?” I’m frozen in place.

  “He didn’t want me too.” The words are spoken softly. He’s ashamed. Good. He should feel friggin’ horrid.

  “Well too bad for him. We’re going. Right now!” I stab my finger into the air on the last word.

  “Aiden and Jenna first. Let’s focus on the friends still around us okay? It really seems important,” he pleads. Friends first, okay. He puts his arm around my shoulder when we walk side by side to the house, but I shrug him off. He should’ve told me that he still spoke to Jase.

  All the important house meetings happen in the kitchen so I’m not surprised to find my housemates all sitting around the table. I sit down in my usual spot and Lewis sit
s down on the chair one over. Leaving Jase’s spot open.

  “We have very exciting news,” Aiden says, beaming with such force it almost knocks me over. Jenna giggles next to me and I shoot her a glare. She sticks her tongue out at me which makes me smile, just a little.

  “Just spit it out already,” Lewis grumbles.

  “Jenna’s pregnant!” Aiden grabs Jenna around the shoulders and almost pulls her off her chair.

  Holy cow, my friend’s pregnant! I get up and give her a hug. “Congratulations!” I lean over her and give Aiden one too.

  “Good luck. Thank God, I live in the basement. Better get yourself ear plugs now, Mia.” Lewis taunts us from his chair. I throw a coaster at him, but he bats it away right before it hits his head.

  “Actually, there’s more,” Jenna says, looking kind of nervous. She shifts in her seat and looks at Aiden expectantly. Don’t tell me they’re having twins.

  “Well, you guys know we love you all to death…” Oh no. “We bought a house. Over on Oakley. No pool, but a big yard for when my son is old enough to play in it. And enough gardening space for Jen to go nuts in.” Thick silence hangs in the air. They bought a house. They’re moving out. It’ll just be me and the guys?

  “Someone say something,” Jenna squeaks.

  “Ana and I are moving out too. I got a job over in Edenvale. I start there next month,” James announces, looking down at the table. Oh. He’s leaving too?

  “When were you going to tell me? Does your dad know?” Disbelief rains thick in Lewis’s voice.

  “He knows.” Not wanting to spoil Aiden and Jenna’s news, I search for something to say, anything, but I come up empty. The only stuff I can think of is negative. What if Jase doesn’t come back, it’ll just be Lewis and me. How will we pay the rent? This is all happening so fast. Is the room spinning? Shit! Breathe Mia.

  “When’s the housewarming?” Lewis asks. Everyone laughs but it’s thick and so fake, it’s got glitter all over it.

  “I’d love to go see it,” I try to say with some real curiosity. Before the accident Jenna and I looked at a lot of houses on the internet. All of them were for me and Jase though. For when we moved out. I could never find one that I really adored. Looks like she found one.

  “Oh Mew, you’d love it. It’s got an attic that looks out onto this big tree with these huge branches. Perfect reading spot!”

  She’s so excited. I’m really happy for her, but the sad part is so huge right now that I’m having trouble holding onto that tiny ray. It had to happen eventually. We’re all grown up and I never expected us to all stay together forever. But it feels so sudden. I can tell this is so important to her, her face is practically glowing. She looks like someone dipped her into some aluminum. So I nod and really mean what I say next: “I can’t wait to see it!” Jenna squeals, Lewis groans, James damns and Aiden laughs. Me? I just smile at my friend. Would she have been this happy with Kyle? Maybe. But we’ll never know.

  After the excitement dies down I look at Lewis. I have no idea where Jase is. He could be miles away for all I know and the sun has long ago disappeared behind the horizon.

  “I'm going to bed. It. Has. Been. A. Long. Ass. Day,” he says. Covering up my own yawn I nod. I can wait to see Jase until tomorrow.

  “Good night guys,” I say to my friends. Pushing my chair back in, I look at the table of faces. The faces of my family. A family that is moving apart, growing up and moving forward. Yet I feel like I’m slipping backwards. Every minute I’m away from Jase, I feel like I’m drifting downstream. I’m not hoping on miracles. I’ll say my part and if he still wants to be on his own, then so be it. At least I’ll know I tried. My heart will know to give up on him.

  I climb the stairs with heavy feet and trail my hand along the wall as I go. The tiny imperfections of the walls cut and grab at my finger tips. I haven’t felt the need for physical pain in such a long time and the fact that I enjoy the sharp jabs at my fingertips make my jaw clench. I’m not THAT weak anymore. That girl moved on. She stood tall and fought her demons. It’s the same now, just monsters of a different kind. I’ll defeat them too. I close my bedroom door and switch on the light. Grabbing one of Jase’s shirts and some clean underwear I get ready for my shower. I twist the dials until the right mix of hot and cold flows through the tap. I pull my clothes off with heavy limbs and drop them to the floor. Stepping into the shower, the tiny droplets bounce off my skin and onto the shower floor and I tilt my head up to the spray, letting the water rinse the day away.

  Dreams of broken boys,

  And fancy racing toys.

  Nightmares about death,

  And being caught underwater without breath.

  Mangled cars, damaged bones,

  Lay on my chest like a pile of stones.

  Crimson skies, dark black tears,

  Till morning light defeats my fears.

  Journey far, travel wide,

  Follow my heart, trust my guide.

  I’ll find my love,

  with hope from above,

  I say a prayer,

  and know I’ll find you there.

  I wake up early the next morning. The house is still quiet. I never get up first. I’m normally the last one awake. I take my time making my bed, brushing my teeth and getting dressed. The shirt I’m wearing is Jase’s favorite. It’s made of knitted wool, with big breezy holes here and there. It fits my curves just right. And the sexy off the shoulder makes it just a bit daring. I’ve also put on my best jeans and my newest pair of sneakers - a pink pair. My hair is silky straight but I’m again reminded that I need to fix my color. Soon. I just need to get my boy back first.

  After a good hour of doing mindless things I go down to Lewis’s room. His door is closed which isn’t unusual, we all keep our doors closed with so many people in one house. I twist the knob and it pops open on a soft squeak. I push it open a little bit more and step inside.

  “Oh shit!” I curse softly. Red is lying with her head on Lewis’s chest. Her mass of flaming curls a tangle all over his chest. She’s just barely covered with his sheets and I’m fairly sure he’s naked too.

  “Mia?” Lewis whispers. He smoothes the flaming red hair from his face.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve knocked,” I say stupidly and embarrassed as hell. I duck my head and take a step back, bumping the door shut behind me. Red lifts her head and looks right at me. Her light blue eyes are wide with shock. She recovers quickly, pulling the sheet to cover herself.

  “Morning, is everything okay?” she asks sleepily.

  “Yes, sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. I was just looking for Lewis,” I ramble.

  She opens her mouth to say something, but Lewis cuts her off. “I’ll be right out,” he says.

  “Okay.” I stand there for a second longer until my brain finally tells me to move. I pull the door open quickly and hurry down the hall. Stupid, stupid Mia. That was awkward as hell! My cheeks are bright hot and my mouth is dry as a desert god’s ass!

  I pour myself a cup of coffee, it’s a wonder I still remember how to work the machine, and sit down at the kitchen table. I can hear Aiden and Jenna move around in their room upstairs. I hope Lewis hurries up. I don’t want to have this conversation with them until I know what’s happening for sure. I rinse my empty cup and place it on the drying rack. I’m about to go knock on Lewis’s door when I hear it open and close from down the hall. A couple of seconds later he’s standing next to me twirling his keys.

  “Let’s go,” he says, cheery eyed and bushy tailed. I bump him with my shoulder and he laughs at me.

  “I’m sorry. That was weird of me. I should apologize to Red,” I gush and because I haven’t made things awkward enough, I add: “You guys look good together.” They really do.

  He shrugs. “We have a standing agreement,” he says, unlocking my door for me.

  “And she’s okay with that?” I’ve never really understood the dynamics of sex for the sake of mutual benefits only.

/>   “She is,” he says on another shrug. He’s going to pull a shoulder muscle if he keeps this up.

  “That’s good I suppose.” I suck at small talk while avoiding the really big elephant in the truck with us. The one named you-knew-where-Jase-was-this-whole-time!

  “It’s good alright!” He chuckles.

  I’m kind of happy that I found Red this morning, that means Lewis and me are cool, right? All that sexual manic-ness of the past is gone now. We can move on.

  “We’re going to Edenvale,” Lewis says, taking a left out of town. It’s in the opposite direction of where we came from yesterday. The town where Jase grew up in, the town where his Grandma is.

  “Oh,” is all I can say.

  “That all? It’s an hour’s drive, you know.” He looks at me sideways.

  “I know, but that just means it’s an hour I’m going to spend in this truck being pissed at you. So instead I’ll just ignore you,” I say with a sneer. I’ll find out from Jase why he made Lewis turn against me.

  I turn up the volume on the stereo and lay my head against the window. For the next hour, Lewis is surprisingly quiet.

  My heart is beating so hard that I’m afraid if I open my mouth, it’ll jump right out my throat. My palms are sweaty and I’m not letting go of the death grip I have on Lewis’s arm. He’s frozen in place, patiently waiting with his other hand on his door handle. We’re standing outside a small brown brick house, a tiny garden with neatly trimmed rose bushes in front. Jase's grandmother’s house. I’ve been here once, when I met his grandparents, but she doesn’t live here anymore. She was moved to an old age home when her husband passed away four months ago. She didn’t want to be a burden by staying with us. Stubbornness runs in the Lyle’s blood it seems.

  “I’m ready,” I say on a shaky breath. I’m so not ready, but I let go of Lewis’s arm anyway and push my door open. We walk up to the small gate, side by side, close but not touching. Lewis opens the gate for me and my stomach rolls. I continue taking deep breathes, hoping I don’t barf in the next couple of minutes. The front door is cracked open and I throw a worried glance at Lewis. He shrugs and pushes it open wider. We’re greeted by the awful smell of stale beer and old pizza boxes.