And as it turned out, I did. Or at least she said that I did. And I don’t think she would lie. She’s been pretty down, and I think she needed a little distraction (like me). Anyway, we had a good time, and I got to meet her roommate Liz, who has actually turned out to be a pretty decent sort of person. Okay, she’s a little on the cynical side (kind of like I used to be), but I really like her. And I filled Caitlin in on all the latest news about our band and our recent successes and invited her to come to the Samaritan coffeehouse during spring break, which she pretty much promised to do.
So I left feeling like Caitlin is going to be okay. Sure, she seems a little more sober than before. But maybe that’s just part of growing up. And I still believe that when the time is right, she and Josh will get back together—and will get married—happily married. I just think that, right now, they both (and maybe mostly Josh) have some more growing up to do. I know that’s got to sound slightly ridiculous coming from the lips of a sixteen-year-old, but that’s the way I see it. And just for the record, I’m keeping this information strictly between me and my journal and God.
HOW WE GET THERE
we don’t know
what lies ahead
that doesn’t mean
that we should dread
just hold Your hand
and hold on tight
and You will lead us
through the night
for, God, You know
the way to go
and if we listen
You will show
if we watch
and obey
You will lead us
all the way
cm
Sunday, March 16
We had a woman speak to our church today (a friend of Pastor Tony’s). She’s from a mission group that works in eastern European countries (like Bulgaria, Romania, Slovakia) by setting up Christian girls’ schools. She told about how they provide quality education (not to mention room and board) to girls who’ve been orphaned and could end up making their living off the streets.
For some reason what this mission group is doing seemed really important to me. I actually cried when she told the story of a thirteen-year-old girl who’d been rescued from prostitution and was now just finishing med school with a brilliant future ahead. And afterward a special offering was taken to help these schools out and all I had was five dollars, which I gave, but I wanted to do something more. I thought about Caitlin and how she got her church involved (in a big way) to reach out to the orphanage in Mexico.
So after church was over and almost everyone was gone or out in the parking lot shooting the breeze, I noticed Pastor Tony joining Steph and the boys over in the back. So I went over and said, “Hi.”
“Hey, Chloe,” said Steph. “Just the girl I wanted to see. Do you think you’d be able to babysit for me after school on Tuesday? I have a dentist appointment.”
“Sure.”
“Great. How about if I pick you up right at the high school—around three?”
I nodded. “Sounds good. Hey, I have this idea and I wondered if I could toss it out to you guys. It’ll only take a minute.”
“Sure, what’s up?” asked Tony as he picked up Oliver and hoisted him up on his shoulder.
“Well, I really liked what Melinda Bishop said about her missionary group.”
“Wasn’t that awesome?” said Steph. “What a ministry!”
“Yeah. It’s something I feel I could really get behind. Unfortunately, I’m not exactly loaded.” I laughed. “But I was thinking about the ‘All God’s Children’ fair we had last year—”
“It’s already taking off,” said Tony. “Would you like to be involved?”
“Sort of. But maybe in a different way. Do you think my band could do some kind of a benefit concert, at the fair—like just one evening or something—and then we could donate the money to Melinda’s ministry?”
“That’s a fantastic idea, Chloe.”
I smiled. “Yeah, and since we’re not so well known, you know, maybe we wouldn’t even sell tickets but could just pass around a bucket afterward. If they liked us, maybe they’d chip in.”
Tony laughed. “Of course, they’d like you. You girls are terrific. Willy can’t say enough about your band. And you took second place in the Battle of the Bands—that says a lot.”
“Well, I’ll have to talk to Allie and Laura, of course, but I don’t know why they’d object. I wish Allie had been at church to hear Melinda today. She had to stay home with her brother.”
“She should just bring him with her,” said Steph. I’d already told her about David. “He’d do fine in the nursery.”
“I’ll have to tell her.”
“And we have a videotape from Melinda. You could share that with Laura and Allie.”
“Cool.”
Tony reached over and squeezed my shoulder. “I’m so glad that you’re part of this church, Chloe. You really bring a lot with you.”
“Thanks.”
“And doesn’t she remind you of Caitlin?” said Steph with a big smile.
Now I had to laugh at that. “Yeah, Caitlin and me, we look and act so much alike.”
“That’s not what I mean,” said Steph. “I’m talking about what’s inside you. You and Caitlin both have these wonderful hearts that really follow God and you both like to help others. I just think that’s pretty cool.”
“Me too,” said Tony.
I nodded. “Thanks.”
“Before we go getting all sloppy and mushy,” said Tony, “I’ll talk to the fair committee about the concert and then let Melinda know about your idea. She might have some informational material or something that we could hand out at the fair.”
“And you can pick up that video on Tuesday,” suggested Steph.
“I’m hungry,” whined Oliver.
“Yeah, I better let you guys get going,” I said as I playfully poked Oliver’s nose, “before Oliver here starts nibbling on your ear.”
He giggled as I started to walk away. “Bye-bye, Chloe.”
Then I walked home from church. I had told my dad this morning that I didn’t want a ride since it was such a gorgeous day. On my way home, I decided to stop by the cemetery. I don’t even know why. I hadn’t been up there for months. But I still remember that rainy day in October when I gave my life to God, and I suppose the graveyard will always be a special place for me. Besides, I was just curious as to how things were going up there.
It was beautiful with emerald green grass and plum trees filled with soft pink blooms and the daffodils—growing with wild abandon all over the place. I picked two sunny blooms and then went over to the old section where I used to spend so much time before. I went straight to Katherine’s grave—the one that has the line about dancing with the angels—and laid a daffodil there. Then I went up to Clay’s grave—Tony’s brother—and laid a daffodil there too.
I sat on the bench and considered just how far I’ve come in the last six months—like moving from death to life or from A to Z or darkness to light—amazing! Utterly mind-blowing and incredibly, fantastically, totally amazing! And then I lifted my head and my hands, right there in the cemetery, and I sang and praised God. I thanked Him for all that He has done in my past, and for all that He’s doing right now, and for all that He will do in my future. For now I know that my future is bright! And I know He loves me! And I know I belong to Him. Amen!
I’M YOURS
i am Yours God
i belong to You
all i am
and all i do
all belongs to You
i am Yours God
my laughter, tears
hope and song
dreams and fears
all belong
to You
i am Yours God
i belong to You
amen
cm
Available now from
MELODY CARLSON
SOLD OUT
ISBN 1-59052-141-2
; Don’t miss Chloe book two in the compelling
Diary of a Teenage Girl series!
Sunday, June 4
Allie and I were just coming out of youth group today when we were practically tackled by Willy. “Did you hear the news?” he asked as he eagerly grabbed us both by the arm. His blue eyes literally flamed with excitement, and a wide smile was splayed across his craggy face. Now to fully appreciate this, you’d have to understand how Willy looks sort of ridiculous when he smiles real big since the tooth next to his front tooth is gold, and his bushy mustache is usually trimmed just slightly crooked.
“What’s up, Willy?” I asked. “You look like you just got a personal message from God or else won the lottery or something.”
“Nope. Not me personally. But maybe you guys did.”
“What are you talking about?” demanded Allie.
“Well, come in here.” He pulled us into Pastor Tony’s office. “Okay, sit down, both of you, and take a deep breath. Now listen.” He sat in Pastor Tony’s big leather chair then leaned forward with his elbows on the desk. “You see,” he began slowly, “I have this old friend from the music business, well, he’s retired now, but he has a younger friend who’s still in the recording industry—and his name is Eric Green, and he’s a Christian and is pretty high up in Omega—a Christian recording company. Anyway, I sent him your demo CD a while back and …”
“Cool,” said Allie. “Did he like it?”
“Better than that.”
“What?” I demanded with a seriously pounding heart. “What in the world are you trying to tell us, Willy?”
“Well …” He actually snickered now. “You have no idea how hard this has been for me, trying not to spill the beans about this whole thing. But Eric called me last weekend and told me he really liked the demo and that he wanted to hear you girls in person, so I told him about the memorial concert, and—”
“A record producer actually came to our concert?” I was standing now, leaning forward and peering at Willy.
He nodded. “And, man, was he ever impressed.”
“You’re kidding?” Allie stood up too. “A real, honest-to-goodness, legitimate record company?”
He nodded again.
“What does this mean?” I asked, thinking this is just way too good to be true.
“Well, ladies, I think it means he’s going to offer Redemption a recording contract.”
Allie and I both screamed. We jumped up and down and hugged each other and screamed again, and hugged Willy and thanked him over and over. Then finally after we settled down I begged him to tell us the whole story again—this time with all the details. Then we took some time to call Allie’s mom and my parents.
“Have they actually offered you girls a real contract?” my mom asked. The skepticism in her voice was unmistakable.
“No, but Willy thinks there’s a pretty good chance they will.”
“But are they a reliable company, Chloe? Or are they expecting you girls to invest your own money? I’ve heard about those companies that tell you you’re going to hit the big time, but then they make you pay your own way. It’s a real scam. And you know you’ve already nearly depleted your savings on your little band.”
The way she said “little band” was the final blow, but I determined not to let her lack of enthusiasm bring me down. “Oh, I’ll explain the details later this afternoon, Mom. Just tell Dad the good news and I’ll see you.” Parents!
Fortunately, Willy’s enthusiasm helped make up for my mom’s. And it wasn’t Pastor Tony’s fault that Allie and I could barely sit still in church. As soon as the service ended, we grabbed Willy and begged him to drive us over to where Laura’s church was just getting out. Then you should’ve heard the three of us girls in Laura’s church parking lot. I’m sure half the folks in town heard us squealing.
Finally, Willy hushed us down. “Now, let’s not lose our heads just yet because it’s still not 100 percent for sure. These things never are, not until the ink from the signatures is dry.”
“What’s the next step?” asked Laura’s dad.
“Yeah,” I asked. “What do we do now?”
“Eric wants to fly you girls to Nashville as soon as school is out. You can each bring one parent or guardian. Then you’ll do an official audition in the recording studio, and after that the powers that be have a meeting and decide whether they want you or not.”
“Do you think we really have a chance?” asked Allie.
“You know, I think we should put this whole thing into God’s hands,” said Willy. “Why don’t we pray right now?”
And so we did. And to pray like that, out there in the June sunshine, felt like a huge sigh of relief to me. It felt as if the weight was suddenly lifted as we put the whole thing into God’s hands. “Your will be done,” Willy finally said. And we all said, “Amen!”
Then Willy offered to take Allie and me home and speak with both of our parents. So I waited at Allie’s as he explained to Elise what exactly was going on. And it was really sweet to see Allie’s little brother Davie climb onto Willy’s knee as he spoke. And Davie just sat there quietly playing with Willy’s cross (Willy always wears this cross made from two nails hanging by a leather cord) and every once in a while Davie would reach up and pat Willy on the cheek and just smile.
“Well, I guess that sounds legit.” Elise stood and shook her head as if it were all just sinking in. “Amazing though. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to rush you off, but I really have to be to work in about fifteen minutes.”
“No problem.” Willy set Davie down on the floor then ruffled his hair.
“And I hope they don’t expect me to pay for Allie’s plane tickets or hotel room or anything.” She frowned as she picked up her work smock and purse. “We’re barely scraping by as it is.”
He waved his hand. “No, no, you won’t need to worry about a thing. The recording company will provide two round-trip tickets as well as food and hotel rooms and any other expenses for each girl along with one adult to accompany her.”
Elise looked startled now. “Well, I can’t possibly go to Nashville with her. I have work—and I have Davie—and I—”
“Mom!” cried Allie. “You have to go.”
“It sounds fun, Allie, but you know as well as I do that it’s impossible. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for this right now. We’ll just have to figure it out later.”
Allie looked slightly disillusioned now, but Willy assured her that it would all work out. “If it’s God’s will, you don’t need to worry about a thing, Allie. It’ll all fall right into place.”
Next we went to my house, but by the time we got there, my parents had already left. A note on the breakfast bar said they were off playing golf with the Stephensens until four.
“Sorry, Willy,” I said as I walked him back to the door.
Willy turned and looked at me. “You should call Josh!”
And so I called and actually got Josh, live, on the phone. He was so excited that he totally made up for Mom’s lack of enthusiasm. He whooped and hollered and even told his roommate that his little sister was going to be famous.
And so, despite Mom’s ho-hum attitude, I am still excited. I think something big is in the works. And I’m not going to worry because, like Willy said, it’s all in God’s hands. If He wants it to happen, it will. If not, well, we’ll just have to accept that as His will too. But just the same, I really, really want it to happen. I’ve never felt more alive or more in love with God than that night we did the memorial concert. It’s like everything in me was connected that night. It was so right on!
RIGHT ON, GOD
life with You
is so right on
connected
aligned
on target
in sync
together
with-it
bulls-eye
totally jived
right on, God
You are so right on!
amen
&nb
sp; This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the authors imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
MY NAME IS CHLOE
published by Multnomah Books,
A division of Random House, Inc.,
and in association with the literary agency of Sara A. Fortenberry
© 2002 by Melody Carlson
Scripture quotations are from:
The Holy Bible, New International Version © 1973, 1984 by International Bible
Society, used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House
Multnomah is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers
and is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
The colophon is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted,
in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording,
or otherwise—without prior written permission.
For information:
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Carlson, Melody.
My name is Chloe, by Chloe Miller : a novel / Melody Carlson.
p. cm. – (Diary of a teenage girl, Book no. 5)
Summary: An intelligent but insecure fifteen-year-old aspiring musician, who sports off-beat clothes, spiked hair, and multiple piercings, questions the existence of God until she meets Him head-on in a graveyard.
eISBN: 978-0-307-56468-9
[1. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 2. Conduct of life—Fiction. 3. Conversion—
Fiction. 4. High schools—Fiction. 5. Schools—Fiction. 6. Diaries—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.C216637 My 2003
[Fic]—dc21
2002013132
v3.0
My Name Is Chloe Page 18