Love Casts Out Fear

by Barbara Cartland

  She was just having her hair arranged by Sarah when there was a knock on the door and, when Sarah opened it, a footman stood there who said in French,

  “Monsieur, my Lord, wishes to see her Ladyship as soon as she is ready.”

  Alecia felt her heart leap and, looking at her reflection in the mirror, she realised that her eyes had lit up almost as if they had caught the sunshine.

  ‘I want to see him,’ she confessed to herself.

  She knew that it was because he had shown her last night how proud he was of her that she wanted to be with him, to hear him praise her and perhaps, although she was quite certain it was something that would not happen, he would kiss her again.

  ‘After all, I am – supposed to be – his fiancée,’ she told herself, ‘and in the – circumstances he might be expected to – kiss me.’

  Even as she thought about it she told herself it would be a mistake, since she was not Charis, to allow what had been a very formal relationship to become something different.

  She was certain that because she had told him that she had no wish to marry him, he was treating her as he had suggested, like a friend, until they knew each other better.

  But because he had kissed her as he covered her body with his to protect her from any injury, she felt as if everything had altered between them and, although it might be wrong, it was something that could not be undone.

  ‘I want to see him – and he is – waiting for me!’ she told herself jubilantly.

  Springing up from the dressing table stool, she hurried across the room while Sarah was still closing the door.

  “I’ve not finished your hair, my lady!” she exclaimed.

  “It looks very nice,” Alecia said quickly, “and his Lordship wants me.”

  She did not wait to argue any further, but ran down the passage and down the stairs.

  Now the footmen were back in the hall and she was sure the Major Domo, who had undoubtedly been in on the plot, was not far away.

  She was, however, not thinking of that as she hurried down the passage to the room where she knew that she would find Lord Kiniston.

  He was, as she expected, sitting at his desk and he rose as she entered.

  Then, as she moved towards him, her eyes on his face, she thought that he looked somehow different from the way he had looked before.

  There was, she was certain, a glint of admiration in his eyes as he looked at her and she thought, although she could not be sure, that it was something more than admiration.

  Then, as she dropped him a little curtsey, he said,

  “You are all right? You slept well?”

  “Very well, thank you, and there has been – no further – trouble?”

  “None,” he answered. “I was informed by the Officer on duty last night that a fire was reported in the conservatory, which was dealt with quickly and efficiently and there is no damage except to the conservatory, which no longer exists.”

  Alecia gave a little sigh of relief.

  Then she said,

  “Now we can – forget it, and the others will not talk – to me – about it, will they?”

  “Not if they obey the Duke,” Lord Kiniston said. “But I have a question to ask you, Charis, or rather I would be grateful if you could explain to me something I find hard to understand.”

  “What is that?”

  Her thoughts were still on last night and she was wondering if, because she had been so embarrassed when she had to relate to them all exactly what had occurred, she had forgotten something important.

  Lord Kiniston came from behind his desk and, when he reached her side, he handed her a letter.

  “Will you read this?” he asked.

  Alecia took it from him and saw that it was a letter written in English, although in a not very educated hand.

  But the writing was clear and easy to read,

  It began,

  “My Lord,

  When I saw you last, you mentioned to me that your Lordship was considering moving your horses from Newmarket to Epsom since to train there would be more convenient when your Lordship is in London and nearer of course to Kiniston Hall in Buckinghamshire.

  I recently received a visit from the Viscount Turn- bury, who is very interested in the horses in your stables. When he was here, his wife asked me if it might be possible for me to show them over the house.

  I hope I did nothing wrong, but I took the Viscountess round and she was exceedingly impressed by the comfort of it and the delightful gardens. His Lordship then asked me if there was any possibility of your selling him the stables, as he had heard rumours in London that it was your intention to do so and at the same time to dispose of the horses.

  I could only tell his Lordship that I would write to you and explain the situation and he thanked me profusely, saying that he and his wife were on their way to Suffolk and asking me to inform him as quickly as possible if in fact you would consider selling him the whole property including the contents of the house and any horses your Lordship may wish to dispose of.

  I am therefore writing immediately to ascertain your Lordship’s wishes in the matter and, as the Viscount was so insistent that he required an early reply, to ask for your Lordship’s instructions.

  It was only as the Viscount was leaving that I realised that I had seen his wife before at the Spring Meeting last year. It would be impossible to forget her as she is so beautiful and she was then Lady Charis Langley.

  I hope your Lordship is in good health and that you will soon be returning to England now that the War has come to an end.

  I remain,

  Your humble and obedient servant,

  Frederick Matthews.”

  As Alecia finished reading the letter, she put it down on the desk beside her.

  Without looking at Lord Kiniston she clasped her hands together, squeezing her fingers until the knuckles showed white and finally she said in a very low voice,

  “I-I am – sorry!”

  “Is that all you have to say?” Lord Kiniston enquired.

  “I-I am sorry,” Alecia repeated. “I-I will return to England immediately – I-I was only waiting until – Charis was married.”

  “So it’s true! The wife of young Turnbury is Charis Langley!”

  It was impossible to speak and Alecia only nodded.

  “Then who, in the name of Heaven, are you?”

  “I am her first cousin – and we are – considered to be – very much – alike.”

  “So alike,” Lord Kiniston said, “that everybody has been deceived by you, although I thought it very strange when you arrived that you were frightened about something and, considering how fêted and acclaimed Lady Charis has been, you seemed unsure of yourself and often shy.”

  “I-I have lived very – quietly in the country – with my father.”

  “You have not been to London??

  “N-no.”

  “And you have never been kissed until I kissed you?”

  Now the colour flared in Alecia’s cheeks and, feeling that she could not bear this interrogation, she moved away towards the window to stand looking out blindly into the sunlit garden.

  She knew as she did so that the dream world in which she had been living had come to an end and now she would have to go home and never see Lord Kiniston again.

  Almost as if she was struck by lightning, she knew as she thought of it that not only had she no wish to leave him but that she loved him.

  It seemed absurd, ridiculous, altogether impossible to feel that way about a man she had been so frightened of.

  And yet she could feel her whole body throbbing with an inexpressible agony because she must leave him, because undoubtedly he was very angry with her and would at any moment now denounce her as an impostor.

  He spoke just behind her and, as she had not heard him approach her, she started as he asked,

  “What is your real name?”

  It was difficult to speak, but somehow she managed to say,

&nb
sp; “A-Alecia – Stambrook.”

  “And now,” Lord Kiniston said, “having involved us both in this extremely complicated situation, will you tell me how we are to get out of it?”

  “I-I will – go away at once,” Alecia said. “I expected – to have to – do that.”

  “You will go back to England?”

  “Yes – to Papa – we live in Little Langley – which is the village adjoining what was – Charis’s home.”

  “Who, when I sent for her, asked you to come in her place because she wished to marry?”

  “Y-yes – she was very much in love with the Viscount – and she thought – you would – forbid her to be married because his mother – had died only just – a few weeks previously.”

  Alecia drew in her breath before she went on,

  “I beg of you not to be angry with her – they love each other so – ideally and completely – just as Mama loved Papa – that she could not leave him – and do what you wanted.”

  “She might have been honest with me and told me the truth.”

  “She thought of that – but she was certain – because we both expected you to be very – old that you would not understand – and would insist on her waiting conventionally for perhaps – a year before you would – allow her to be married.”

  “It would certainly be an extraordinarily heartless action on the Guardian’s part,” Lord Kiniston said dryly.

  “That is what they were – afraid you would – say,” Alecia said, “but now they are married – and you can do – nothing about it.”

  “I must accept that,” Lord Kiniston replied. “But there still remains the problem of you. I want you to tell me why you acquiesced in acting a lie, which seems somehow alien to your nature.”

  “I-I think Mama – too, would have been shocked,” Alecia said, “except that she knew that – love is more important than anything else – and Charis is very very much – in love with Viscount Turnbury.”

  There was a little note of wistfulness in Alecia’s voice as she knew that she too was in love, but, as far as she was concerned, it was hopeless and the only thing she could do was to hurry home to England as quickly as possible.

  “And, because you are fond of your cousin, you agreed without any inducement to her suggestion that you should impersonate her and deceive me.”

  The note of condemnation in Lord Kiniston’s voice cut through Alecia like a knife.

  “It – it was not only that I – wanted to help Charis – but also Papa.”

  “In what way?” Lord Kiniston asked sharply.

  Alecia drew in her breath.

  She wished that she did not have to explain things to him, but she knew that not only was he entitled to an explanation but that somehow it was impossible not to answer his questions.

  “Charis’s father was my mother’s brother,” she said in a low voice, “and when he died, just two months after my mother’s death, we no longer received the regular supplies of food from the estate on which we depended. Papa writes books, but they make very little money and I was really – desperate because the tradespeople would no longer give us credit – and then Charis came to see me.”

  “So she paid you for doing what she wanted!”

  Alecia closed her eyes.

  It seemed sordid and humiliating and yet now she had to be honest.

  “She – gave me – five hundred pounds,” she faltered, “which will keep Papa – well and properly fed for a – long time.”

  “I presume she also provided you with the clothes you are wearing.”

  “Most of them are hers,” Alecia agreed, “because she was having a new trousseau. We have always been able to wear each other’s things – and mine were in –rags.”

  She bent her head as she spoke, feeling that Lord Kiniston had driven her down into the dust and, if she was kneeling at his feet, she could not go any lower.

  “Let me go – home at – once!” she pleaded. “I know you don’t – understand and I am very – ashamed of the way I have – deceived you. Although I have been terrified in case you should – find me out, I will never – never forget that I have been here – and that I have met you.”

  “You will never forget me?” Lord Kiniston enquired.

  Alecia did not speak and after a moment he asked,

  “Why will you never forget me?”

  Again there was silence and he said,

  “Look at me, Alecia! I want you to tell me the truth – the real truth as to why you will not forget me!”

  Because it was impossible not to obey him, very slowly Alecia turned towards him and raised her face to his.

  He saw the fear in her eyes and yet he would have been very obtuse if he had not realised that there was another expression in them too.

  “Tell me,” he asked softly, “why you will not forget me.”

  For a moment she just stared at him and he knew that her whole body was trembling before he said,

  “You have told me that you have never been kissed except by me. I thought that was so when I kissed you after the explosion, but I want to make certain I was not mistaken and that your lips are as sweet and innocent as they seemed then.”

  He put his arms around her and drew her against him.

  Before Alecia could take her eyes from his or realise what was happening, his lips were on hers.

  Because he knew how inexperienced and innocent she was, at first it was a very gentle tender kiss. Until, as he felt her lips respond, he became more possessive and more demanding, as he drew her closer and closer to him.

  It was then that the love Alecia felt for him rose like a wave through her body and ran like sunshine from her breasts into her throat and from her throat to her lips.

  It was a sensation that she had never known and never imagined and it was so ecstatic, so utterly and completely rapturous, that she knew that this was what she had always wanted.

  It was in the music she heard when she was alone in the woods, in the beauty that had aroused her but which had always seemed a little distant, because she was alone.

  It was love, the love that her mother and father had known and Charis had found with Harry Turnbury and which she had prayed might one day come to her.

  ‘I love him!’ she wanted to cry aloud, but there was no need for words.

  Her body quivered against Lord Kiniston’s and, as he kissed her, she gave him her heart and soul and was no longer herself but his.

  Only when Alecia felt as if they had reached Heaven and she was no longer on earth did he raise his head and ask,

  “Is that what you expected from a kiss?”

  “I-I love you!” Alecia whispered. “I love you – and before you send me away – please kiss me again!”

  “You really think I could let you go?”

  Then he was kissing her, fiercely, demandingly, as if he were afraid of losing her.

  She felt the fire on his lips and it lit a little flame within herself so that she wanted only that he should go on kissing her and she should never again have to face the world outside or to be parted from him.

  Only when Lord Kiniston finally raised his head to look down at her did she with an inarticulate little murmur hide her face against his shoulder.

  “How can I have been so blind,” he asked, “as to be deceived into thinking that you could be the young woman whose name has been bandied about in the Clubs of St. James’s and who figures in the betting book at White’s?”

  “F-forgive me,” Alecia pleaded.

  “How can I do anything else?” Lord Kiniston asked. “After all, if you had not been here last night, I would not now be here to see you and to kiss you!”

  Alecia made an exclamation before she asked,

  “Suppose he – tries – again?”

  “I doubt if he will do that,” Lord Kiniston said.

  “Why – not?”

  “Because, unless I am a very bad judge of character, he will know that he has failed and will expect to be arreste
d, which is something that he will make sure does not happen. In fact he will simply disappear and I doubt if we will hear from the Duc de St. Brière until his château is empty and ready for his return!”

  Alecia gave a deep sigh and asked,

  “And you are – sure you are – safe?”

  “You sound as if you really mind whether I am or not,” Lord Kiniston said.

  “Of course – I mind!” Alecia protested.

  “In which case I am afraid that you will have to continue to look after me and make sure that I get into no more trouble of that sort.”

  He saw Alecia stare and said,

  “The only way we can extricate ourselves honourably from the situation you and Charis contrived between you is for you to marry me.”

  “M-marry you?”

  Her voice was indistinct, but her eyes shone so brightly that Lord Kiniston felt dazzled by them.

  Before he could speak she turned her head to the side to ask,

  “But of course – we will have to wait for the – six months that you said was – essential so that we can get to – know each other and find out whether or not we are – compatible!”

  Lord Kiniston laughed and it was a very happy sound.

  “I have no intention of waiting six months,” he said. “What we are going to do, my darling, is much simpler than that. We are going back to England immediately on urgent family business and the moment we reach Kiniston Hall we will be married quietly by my private Chaplain.”

  Alecia gave a little cry of joy as he went on,

  “Then when we have time, we will talk to your cousin Charis and to Harry Turnbury and decide when we will announce their marriage and ours and leave the gossip writers to sort out, as undoubtedly they will, what has happened.”

  “It sounds too – wonderful to be – true!” Alecia gasped. “But you are quite sure – ?”

  “Quite, quite sure.” Lord Kiniston smiled. “I want you as I have never wanted any woman before in my life and I have no intention of losing you.”

  “It – cannot be – true! I thought every moment that I was with – you would be my last – and I would only have that to – remember when I went – home in disgrace.”

  She could not help her voice breaking and tears filled her eyes.