Surviving

by Ahren Sanders

  We volley back and forth between the side stage and the room to watch the other performers of the night. When Jason Derulo starts his performance Declan wraps his arms around my waist from behind and sings in my ear along to “Marry Me.” We sway to the song until someone comes up and says something in Declan’s ear. He lets go of me and walks back to the room.

  “Hey Blake, keep a watch on Raven for a sec. I need to talk to someone.” Blake nods and smirks at him.

  I lean against the wall and grab a beer wondering who in the hell Declan needed to talk to. Jay follows him, and Kelly comes over to me.

  “You must think pretty highly of yourself. All these guys fawning over you. Give it a few weeks, and you’ll see a complete change. As soon as we get back to Nashville, their lives are going to be different. The demands will increase, and your little place in their group will quickly diminish. I suggest you enjoy the weekend on your high horse.” She walks to the other side of the room with a satisfied look on her face.

  She just pissed off the wrong person. I channel my inner Charlie and Harper and call out, “Kelly,” the whole room gets quiet and looks between us. Blake and Nate come to my side, and Mike moves to the middle of the room. The temperature drops with the obvious ice in my tone.

  “Have you ever asked Mike what happened to the labels employee that was fired? No, well let me tell you. It was for shit like you just pulled. It is very dangerous for you to fuck with me. I’m not sure you know everything, and I’m not sure you deserve to, but in the interest of saving time, I’ll give you the abbreviated version. Declan and I had a rocky start, but we worked through it and fell in love. We got engaged, and I was kidnapped and held in a basement for almost four days by a stalker.” I pause for effect. There’s not a single person not looking between us.

  “After I recovered, and things were getting better, Sayge started to succeed. They were given some very bad advice from Jessica – who went behind Mike’s back. Declan and I had some trouble, but we worked through it. That is absolutely none of your business. But now we are very solid and very strong. We’re getting married in less than a year. So your little threat is pointless. Declan is very protective of me and, therefore, so are the rest of the guys. I highly doubt ‘my little place’ in their group is going to change. So stop fucking being a bitch and do your job.”

  No one moves. Kelly looks visibly sick; the color has drained out of her face.

  “Are you shitting me? Kelly we need to talk outside now!” Mike barks at her.

  She runs out, and Mike follows her. Cooper yells from across the room and then everyone joins in.

  “Damn girl, I thought my girlfriend was here for a minute.” Blake says loudly.

  Before I can respond, a backstage technician wearing headgear motions for me to follow him. Everyone in the room including Knight’s Dream comes too. I’m led to a small area on the side stage where I can see Jason finishing his song. He takes a small break and tells the crowd he has a surprise as the intro music starts. I scream from the side because Declan walks on the stage. Together they sing the opening lyrics to “It Girl.” Jumping around each other in a choreographed dance that looks like they’ve been doing this forever, the crowd goes crazy. Declan keeps pointing at me, and I smile back. All the guys around me are cheering to him.

  I dance in my own little space soaking up every minute of the song.

  “All right people, give it up for Declan Collins from Sayge!” Jason yells into his microphone. They do a fist pump and Declan runs right to me. I’m still screaming by the time he gets to me. He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder spinning us around. Upside down, I see Cooper punch him in the arm. Nate slaps my ass and Declan threatens to kill him.

  When he puts me back on the ground, I kiss him until we have to pull away for oxygen.

  “Dec, you got something to tell us? You trying to take Sayge the boy-band route?” Nate jokes with him.

  “You’re lucky I’m not turning you into a boy after touching Raven’s ass.”

  “I’d like to kiss her ass after her little performance earlier.” Nate and Blake retell my little confrontation with Kelly and Declan becomes furious.

  We spend the rest of the night drinking and watching the rest of the concert. Declan tells me he met Katy Perry while practicing with Jason Derulo. When they rehearsed today, Jason complimented Sayge and Declan came up with the song idea.

  It’s very late when we finally get back to our room. I join Declan in the shower and make sure to show him exactly how impressed I was with his performances tonight.

  *****

  I sleep the entire flight home. We took advantage of every hour we had in Vegas. My list of things to do included the Tigers at MGM, the fountains and the Conservatory at the Bellagio, drinks in the Chandelier at Cosmopolitan, and dinner at Caesars Palace. We walked the strip for hours yesterday going in and out of different places so I could see the lobbies. We got a lot of curious looks from the staff when we arrived at Mesa for dinner, but our hostess recognized Sayge and gave us a great table.

  Declan and I went back to the second night of the concert, but the rest of the guys stayed at the hotel. We made plans to meet with them after Justin Timberlake performed. He was a good sport, but I could tell Declan was frustrated because they gave him a hard time.

  After an hour of being jostled and stepped on, I agreed to leave. JT or not, I was spoiled by backstage access. And Declan was recognized by at least ten girls who tried to get his attention.

  We found our friends at the casino in Caesars. Ryan’s manager was trying to get us into Pure Nightclub. I hit the slots while Declan played poker. I lost my money in less than half an hour and found Declan’s poker table surrounded by women. Security had been called, and there was a red rope placed as a perimeter. Ryan and his drummer were there also. The security guard let me pass when Ryan tipped his head that I was okay. I watched in fascination as they played game after game going back in forth with winning and losing.

  We got word that there was a table waiting for us in the nightclub, so the three of them cashed out. Pure was like no place I’d ever seen. Most of our drinks were on the house since the owner found out Knight’s Dream was here. I danced and drank until I couldn’t stand anymore. Declan never left my side. Even when I went to the bathroom, he hung onto me. He begged me to leave with him and get married in the hotel chapel, promising we wouldn’t tell anyone. After repeatedly turning him down, I threatened no sex for a week if he didn’t stop. That shut him up. Once we closed the bar down and had breakfast, we only had a few hours until our flight. I was so hungover when we got to the airport that I passed out on Declan’s lap waiting to board. I only woke up to get on the plane.

  Once we get to Nashville, I feel slightly better. We have nothing in the house to eat, so Declan gets takeout while I unpack us. When he gets back, he’s on the phone with someone talking about Friday night. He smiles at me as I fix our plates.

  “Looks like Friday night was a success.” he tells me hanging up.

  “How so?”

  “That was Mike and he said the local stations started air time with “Surviving.” Since our performance went on YouTube, the song was the sixth most requested today.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m so happy for you! Have you called the other guys?”

  “Not yet, I wanted to share with you first. It looks like things are going according to Mike’s plan. And now we eat then celebrate.”

  I push our dinner aside and decide to start the celebration first.

  Chapter 20

  House Rules

  I’ve been living with Declan for three weeks now, so it was bound to happen. Even though we practically lived together last year, we still had our separate places, so I guess it was easy to overlook some of our habits. But now that we’re in the same house full time it’s probably time we discuss some house rules.

  “Declan, what’s wrong with the dishwasher?” I ask trying to hurry to class but notice the sink full of dishes
for the fourth day in a row.

  “Nothing that I know of, why?”

  “Well, I’m wondering why there are still dishes in the sink from your breakfast an hour ago.”

  He looks at me with a confused look on his face and shrugs his shoulders. He turns his back to me and starts gathering his things to leave.

  “Don’t ignore me, it drives me crazy that you leave dishes in here. Now I have to rinse them again and load the washer. It’s so much easier if you do it immediately after finishing your breakfast.”

  “Leave them, I’ll get to them later or do it tonight.”

  “No! Have you not noticed I’m a clean freak? I can’t go to school with a mess in here.”

  “Babe, I said I’ll get to it later. Let’s go.” He answers me annoyed.

  Sighing, I start rinsing his dishes and loading them. I’m the one who is annoyed that he blew me off.

  “Raven, I said let’s go.”

  “No, I refuse to leave a dirty kitchen.”

  He comes over and pulls me to him. Using his free hands, he drops the silverware I’m cleaning into the sink.

  “Sparkle, you upset about something. I’m pretty sure the dirty dishes didn’t put you in this bad mood.”

  “It not just this morning, Dec, it’s the last few days. I don’t like a mess, and lately you’ve been leaving shit everywhere, not cleaning up after yourself, and watching me as I run around the house like a madwoman. I didn’t move into your house to become a maid.”

  His eyes darken and he glares at me. “First of all this is our house– for the millionth time. I didn’t know the dishes bothered you that much so I’ll try to remember to put them away. But let’s talk about the other stuff bothering you.”

  It’s been two weeks since we returned from Vegas and our lives have been hectic. The demand for Sayge has grown locally, and they are playing sometimes five nights a week. Along with their studio time during the day and my schedule, we haven’t seen each other very much. I don’t mind doing the household chores, even though I liked it better when Abbi, Ella, and I split them, but I know he is busy, and I’m the one who is OCD. But every morning when I get up before him, I’ve found clothes strewn around the house, beer bottles left in the living room and all sorts of messes on the table from his notes at the studio. I explain this to him as calmly as I can trying not to start a fight this early in the morning.

  “Okay.” He says.

  “That’s your answer to my rant? Okay?”

  “Yes, Okay. I haven’t lived with anyone for a very long time so if it upsets you, I’ll try to do better. No promises, but I’ll make an effort.”

  “That’s not really an answer honey. I think we need to have some house rules.”

  “House rules?”

  “Yes, maybe even a cleaning schedule. I don’t mind all the laundry and general stuff, but maybe you could help me out.”

  “Help out how?” he asks with humor.

  I tell him we need a chart with chores that each of us takes weekly. Then I tell him about how I worked out a schedule with his sisters.

  “Raven, our lives are too crazy right now to stick to a fucking chart. You write down what needs to be done, and we can look it over.” He nuzzles against my neck kissing me lightly.

  “Are you even taking me seriously right now?”

  “Babe, have you heard me complain one time about how the bathroom is covered in hair? Or how every time we go out, you have to spend half an hour to clean the clothes you went through on the closet floor? What about all the make-up shit on the countertops? I don’t complain because it reminds me you are here in our house with me. So if you want to write down what needs to be done to make you less grouchy, then fucking do it. I’ll make sure to be better about leaving shit lying around.”

  Now I feel like a bitch. He always finds a way to turn my complaints around into some way to compliment me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to start an argument.”

  “We’re not arguing, we’re discussing. There’s a big difference. It’s not always going to be roses and rainbows. We’re going to drive each other crazy until we get into a routine. You make a complete list of what needs to be done to make you happy and not feel like a maid and we’ll figure something out.”

  He pulls my hands and leads us out so he can drop me at school before going to the studio.

  Between classes, I find a place outside the library to sit and work on a few things. This is the easiest place for me to pull the Wi-Fi signal and still be outside. As I finish listing all the things I think need to be done weekly, my phone rings. I don’t recognize the number but answer it anyway.

  “Hello.”

  “Baby Girl!” Finn greets me.

  “Finn!!!”

  “Yeah, calling from my work phone. Save the new number.”

  “Got it! What’s going on? How are you?”

  “I’m great. I’ve talked to all the other guys and told them, but I wanted to let you know I confirmed my plans to be home for the entire Thanksgiving week. Clear some room on your calendar for me.”

  “I’ll be available any time you want me.”

  “Careful, pretty girl, I might take you up on that invitation.” He teases.

  “God, I miss you. Have you decided about next semester yet?”

  “Not yet, but I’m thinking about staying here a while longer. Tell me about you. I haven’t heard from you since that ridiculous email you sent me with the YouTube attachment. Please tell me Declan is sticking with rock and roll.”

  I smile imagining Finn watching that video of Declan on stage with Jason in Vegas. I fill him in on the details of our trip and how my semester is going. I then tell him we set a concrete date for the wedding and make him promise to be here. When Declan told Finn he had proposed again, Finn was incredibly supportive.

  I think about the discussion with Declan this morning, and I tell Finn to get his take on it. After all, he is a guy and still one of my best friends.

  “Let me get this straight, you picked an argument over the fucking dishes and then mentioned a cleaning schedule? To Declan? The same Declan who was a confirmed bachelor for years?” He’s laughing at me.

  “Yes, why is that so funny?”

  “That’s fucking hilarious. I wish I could have been there to see his face. Raven, you need to have patience and loosen up a little. Living together is entirely different than what y’all did last year. I know for a fact you don’t like to make your bed, but you did every time he was coming over. You guys are getting to that stage where you’re comfortable and not always trying to impress. You’re used to being by yourself or living with two other girls. We guys are completely different.”

  “But you’re not. You’re a worse neat freak than me.”

  “That’s because I’m a Marine! I don’t have a choice. That shit’s instilled in me.”

  “Okay, you’re right. I’ll back off.”

  “RJ, I gotta run.”

  “It’s so good to hear your voice, Finn. I miss you. Love you”

  “Me too, Baby Girl, me too. Talk soon.” He hangs up.

  I shoot a quick message to Declan apologizing again for this morning and promise to make it up to him tonight.

  *****

  When Declan picks me up from class, I suggest we have an early dinner since he’s playing tonight. I’m not going but promised to go to the show on Saturday. It’s the second week of October, and I have fall break in a few weeks. I’m thinking about going to Atlanta, but I haven’t mentioned it to him yet. For some reason, I think he’ll be upset. But I miss my friends and haven’t seen them since my homecoming.

  We pick out a booth in the back, and Declan sits next to me instead of across the table. “Sweetheart, it’s kind of hard to talk to you when you’re sitting next to me.” I tell him.

  “Nope, I figure I’m not going to be home most of the night for you to properly apologize, so we can start right now.” He leans down and kisses me until we hear a throat clearin
g beside us.

  I squeak with embarrassment and feel my cheeks heating up. Declan isn’t affected at all.

  Trying to put a little space between us, I scoot over and tell him about my conversation with Finn. Then I decide the time is right to bring up the subject I’ve been thinking about the last few weeks.

  “Declan, we haven’t really talked about our wedding party. Have you thought about it?”

  “Yeah, obviously I’m gonna ask my band and your brother, but how many were you thinking?”

  That’s easy. “With your two sisters and my three best friends, I have five.”

  “So I need to have one more to even out the sides?”

  “Yes, and I was thinking you could ask Finn.”

  “Baby don’t you think that’s pretty cruel? I thought he was your best friend?” he says it more of a question than a statement.

  “He is and that is why I want him to be a part of it. I need him to be a part of it.”

  “He’s in love with you. And even though I’ve tamed it down, I’m still jealous of him.”

  “He’s not in love with me. He may have thought he was, but he’s not. Please think about it.”

  “I’ll give him a call when I talk to the other guys too. But what about Jimi?”

  “What about him?”

  “Since he’s in love with my sister and shit, shouldn’t he be a part of this too?”

  Um, good point. I hadn’t thought of that. “Let me think about it.”

  Our dinner arrives, and he fills me in on the latest with recording the album. “Surviving” is getting a ton of local air time, which is making Mike push the deadlines. He found a model he thought would be good for the video, and she’s going to the office tomorrow to meet with the band. He also has his Creative Producer joining the meeting. He asks me to come as well because he wants my input.

  When we’re done with dinner, he drops me off at home and goes to the bar. Before I even have a chance to unload my school bag he calls me back.

  “Dec, did you forget something?”