Surviving

by Ahren Sanders

  “No, calm down.” she answers.

  Before I can protest more, Mike brings the director over, and they start talking about what we’re supposed to do during this shot. They play the song a few times stopping at the point where this scene will play in the video. It’s towards the beginning when I sing about falling in love and losing my heart to her. We’ve already shot the soft love scenes this morning.

  The hair and make-up group calls us over for one last touch-up and Raven’s friends fawn over her. They dress me in silk pajama pants and make me remove my shirt. Once they’re satisfied with me, I go sit on the edge of the makeshift bed to wait.

  Finally, the lights go down, and my voice fills the speakers. The plan is to replay over and over and try to get at least thirty minutes of good footage. The director calls for quiet and then action. Raven walks towards me sitting on the bed, and I get up to greet her. I forget about everyone else in the room and focus only on her. She looks gorgeous standing in front of me. I hold her close and start singing quietly. Swaying slightly to the music, I lean down and kiss her trying to go slow. As soon as our tongues touch, there’s a current between us. She rubs her fingertips up my bare arms and runs her hands through my hair.

  Our kiss deepens and the music starts over. Shit, have we really been doing this for four and a half minutes already? I remember what the director wanted us to do so I grip her hips urging her to jump up. Once her legs are around my waist, I break our kiss and lay my forehead against hers.

  “Baby, you know how much I love you right?” I barely whisper.

  She nods against my head. I go back to kissing her and then turn us to lay her on the bed. Her legs fall slightly, but it allows me to run my hand up her calf and thighs. I position myself between her legs and brace on my elbow singing to her again. My dick twitches in my pants and somehow forget about all the people watching us. I don’t know how much time passes, but I roll us around and continue kissing her until someone yells ‘cut’ and the music stops.

  Raven looks up at me and smiles. Her lips are swollen and nipples hard against the silk of her gown. I pull against the sheets to try and cover her up, but she laughs at me. The whole room is silent except for her laughter. We both look over at the crowd together and see wide eyes and stunned faces. Two of the guys adjust themselves in their jeans.

  Mike breaks the silence with a loud cheer and applause. The whole group joins in, and Raven buries her faces in my shoulder.

  “I knew she was the right choice!” Charlie tells Mike.

  Harper comes over with a robe for Raven, and I roll over carefully to hide my hard-on. She scoots over and sits on me while the others gather around us.

  “Declan, I can honestly say you two lit this set on fire. There’s no way we could have ever captured that with anyone else.” Mike tells us.

  “That was really hot. It’s like I watched the introduction to some great porn.” Kendall adds.

  “Oh my gosh, please tell me you’re kidding. Remember my dad and Robbie will see this.” Raven says to Mike.

  “Don’t worry RJ, there’ll be some major editing. I’m not putting an NC 17 rating on this.”

  The hair and make-up people come over, and the set designers get busy setting up for the next scene. We only have two scenes left to film and then we are done. If we hurry, we can finish ahead of schedule and I can have an entire day off tomorrow before The Steamroom.

  Raven and I are both motivated to finish, so we do all we are asked and finally finish around seven. Once again our friends end up at our house but it’s a much smaller crowd. The night is very tame, and when it’s only Raven, Kendall, and Harper left sitting around I go to bed. I want to give her some privacy with her friends.

  I think back through the shoot today and hope that Mike is right, and James and Robbie don’t kill me.

  Chapter 25

  Family Planning

  Raven

  I drive up to my old house and smile when I see Abbi has decorated the front porch for fall. The wreaths hanging on the door and windows are pretty, but it’s the multi-colored mums sitting on the steps that make it pop. I make a mental note to ask her to help me with Declan’s front porch.

  It’s been a week since we wrapped the video shoot and Charlie declared tonight ‘girls’ night in’. It’s only Abbi, Ella, Charlie, and myself. Kendall and Harper could not come back two weekends in a row. Declan is pissy because it’s Friday, and he is not playing, but I explained if we did this tomorrow I couldn’t come to his show tomorrow night and would be too hungover on Sunday to do anything. He called the guys and made plans for tonight.

  I knock lightly on the door before opening it. The living room is empty, but I saw all three cars out front.

  “Hello, anyone here?” I yell.

  “In here, come on in.” Ella calls from the kitchen.

  I walk in and gasp I horror. Almost every kitchen surface is covered in a mess. “What the hell happened?”

  “I got an unexpected phone call today that set me on edge. Since it was too early to drink, I decided to bake. Or at least try to bake.”

  I get the trash can and start swiping egg shells and empty bags into it. The flour is stuck and will need to be scrubbed off. I see at least six dozen cookies on plates. Some are crispy and others may be edible. Ella comes up behind me with a rag and starts wiping down the counters.

  “Want to tell me about the phone call?”

  “Yes, but I don’t want to repeat the story so I’ll tell you all together. Charlie told me to have you come to her room and put your stuff down. She was in the shower. Abbi is on the phone but promised to get off when you got here.”

  I take my bag down the hall to Charlie’s room and throw it on the bed. I rummage through my clothes and choose a lightweight hoody and lounge pants to change into. Charlie comes out of the hall bath with a similar outfit. I hear Abbi in the kitchen making drinks and trying to calm Ella down.

  Charlie and I walk in and grab one of the Cosmos Abbi poured for us.

  Ella suggests we get comfortable in the living room, and I follow her lead.

  “Okay, spill. What’s got you so pissy?” Abbi asks Ella.

  “I got a phone call today from Will Turner. I haven’t heard from the jerk in months, and he calls today to see how I’m doing. Can you believe that shit?”

  Damn! I forgot all about Will. “Ella, I’m so sorry to sound like a complete idiot but whatever happened with y’all?”

  Charlie and Abbi exchange a look I don’t understand and Ella drains her glass.

  “Basically he fucked me over. I saw him out one night when he told me he was working. I stayed out of his way thinking he must have gotten off earlier and wanted a few drinks. By the end of the night, there was a blond hanging all over him. I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, they were all over each other in the hallway.”

  “You’re kidding me! What did you do?”

  “I cleared my throat and interrupted them. He jumped back, but she kept holding onto him. I didn’t say anything. I left and have successfully avoided him since then.”

  “You haven’t talked to him at all? When did this happen?” I drain my glass and feel the anger start to rise.

  “Mid-July.”

  “Ella! It’s November! That was four months ago, how do I not know this?”

  “Rave, you were caught up in your own shit.”

  I throw my head back against the couch. “It’s official; I’m the worst friend in the world.”

  “No, I also didn’t tell you because Declan doesn’t know, and I don’t want him to find out. He’ll go into super big brother mode, and I’m not in the mood to deal with him.”

  “I can understand that. But why did Will call today?”

  “Raven, this isn’t the first time he’s tried to contact her. She’s bullheaded and won’t let him explain. He’s even stopped by and tried to talk to me.” Abbi tells me.

  “Today for some reason I answered his call. He started off with sma
ll talk and then asked me if I would meet him for lunch this weekend. He asked that I let him explain, and if I still didn’t want to talk to him, he would leave me alone.”

  Charlie gets the pitcher and refills all our drinks. I’m surprised she has been this quiet on the subject.

  “I think you should talk to him. Maybe it was just a huge misunderstanding. God knows I’ve had a few dozen in the last year. Look at the messes I’ve created by not communicating.” I tell her.

  “I told him I would let him know tonight. The thing is I really liked him. We never defined our relationship, but we hung out for like eight months. You guys remember I met him a year ago this month.”

  We all shake our heads and finally Charlie speaks up. “Did you sleep with him?”

  “Yeah, we had a pretty awesome sex life. Not at first, I mean our schedules were so sporadic, but once the semester ended, we spent a lot more time together. That’s why I was so hurt. She was all over him like a cheap tramp, and I felt used.”

  “Listen Ella, I think you need to talk to him. Will Turner has never struck me as the kind of guy that would hang out with you for months and wait to have sex with you to turn around and cheat on you. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings but Will is pretty hot and has never had a problem with girls. He stuck around a long time with you. I’d bet there’s more to the story about that girl.” I reach over and squeeze her hand. Tears run down her cheeks.

  “We all think you should talk to him. He’s been persistent, and if he’s got something to say, you should listen.” Abbi hugs her sister.

  We talk her into texting him about lunch tomorrow and order dinner. I bring out the pictures of the girls in different dresses last weekend, and we compare them. I decided every girl can pick their own style, but the color is still up in question. After looking at everyone, I choose on the ocean blue color.

  Ella ends up calling Will, and sets a time and place for tomorrow. She smiles brightly, and I realize I really am a shitty friend because it’s the first time she’s showed any emotion since I got home.

  The doorbell rings and Charlie gets up to answer it. When she brings in the food, she goes pale. She drops it on the table and runs to the bathroom where we hear her throwing up. After about ten minutes, she joins us again and lays down on the sofa.

  “Y’all go ahead and eat. Fucking Mike brought in sushi today for lunch, and I ate it. I knew it smelled foul, but I did anyways.”

  “Gross Charlie, we still need to eat dinner.” Ella says.

  “Sorry, girls, I’m going to go to bed. Rave, you may want to sleep with one of them. I feel terrible.” she gets up to leave, and we get plates.

  As the night goes on, we drink way too much and watch the most recent season of Pretty Little Liars, including the Halloween show. Declan texts me when he gets home to tell me he is safe. I pass out on the sofa between Abbi and Ella and we sleep that way all night.

  I wake up hearing Charlie throwing up in the bathroom again. There’s light coming from the shades in the living room. I throw the blanket off of me, to grab my toothbrush and head toward the half bath. When I’m done, I find Charlie in the kitchen crying.

  “Honey, you want some tea or something?”

  “No, I want to die.”

  “Charlie, food poisoning passes. Get back in bed, and I’ll bring you something soft to eat. You will be fine.”

  She starts crying harder, and I sit down next to her holding her to me. “What’s going on?”

  “I have texted every girl I work with and no one else got sick. Then I checked my birth control calendar and realized it’s too soon for me to feel gross. I remembered; I went on the shot seven weeks ago to get off the pill. Apparently that’s too long to feel like this.”

  “What are you saying?” I know deep in my gut, but I can’t believe it.

  “I think I’m pregnant. Fuck!” she yells and collapses against me.

  Abbi and Ella walk in, and I know they heard everything. Abbi slips away and comes back with two boxes that are clearly pregnancy tests. I raise my eyes, but she shakes her head at me.

  “Charlie, let’s take a test to confirm. Don’t get upset yet.” I follow her to the bathroom and open the instructions. She pees in a cup, and I submerge one stick and then I have her pee on the other. I guide her to the living room, and we make small talk for a few minutes.

  Charlie goes to the bathroom alone, and I wait for a few minutes before going to her. When I get to the bathroom, she’s slumped over the sink with her head in her hands. She’s breathing heavily, and I hug her from behind.

  “What’d they say?”

  “Negative. Both are negative.” she sighs against me.

  Abbi and Ella are behind us, and I see them visibly relax in the mirror. Let’s face it we were all concerned about Charlie being pregnant with Blake’s child right now. Shock factor aside, they both have a lot going on.

  “You okay with that? You seem sad.” I ask her.

  “Yeah, I’m relieved but for a minute I allowed myself to think it was true and even though I was scared, I felt a tinge of excitement.”

  “Honey, a baby is a big deal. Have you and Blake even talked about your future?”

  “Yes and no. We talked about getting a place together next summer, and he knows I love him.”

  “Are you going to tell him about this scare?” Ella asks.

  “Yes, if anything, I want to know how he feels about kids.”

  We all shake our heads in agreement and go back to the kitchen. Charlie stills feels ill so she declines breakfast, but I make everyone omelets. I don’t want to bring it up, but I can’t take my curiosity.

  “Abbi, why did you have two unused pregnancy tests?”

  Her cheeks turn bright red and Ella starts laughing. “Let’s just say Charlie isn’t the only one to have a scare recently.”

  “You’re fucking kidding me! How did I not know this? Just because I moved out doesn’t mean y’all stop talking to me! Details now!” I plop down across from her and raise my eyebrows waiting on the story.

  “Almost the same situation, I felt sick and off for a few days. When Ella and I discussed it, she convinced me to take a test. We didn’t know which ones were the most accurate, so we bought a dozen. Turns out they were all negative.”

  “Did you tell Jimi?”

  “Hell yes, he was actually disappointed. But the good thing is it led to a huge discussion about our future. Even though he’s not as outwardly possessive as Declan, he’s pretty outspoken. He’s going after a big promotion at work. If he gets it, he told me everything is going to change. He didn’t elaborate.”

  “I think we all know what that means.” Ella adds smiling.

  I look at the clock and jump up. “Shit, I gotta get home and Ella you need to get ready for your date.” I clean my mess and go to Charlie’s room to change. She throws my hoodie from last night into my bag and crawls up on her bed to rest.

  I say goodbye to Abbi and make Ella promise to call me this afternoon with details of her date.

  When I get home, Declan is still in bed. I drop my bag and head to the shower. As soon as I step under the hot spray I hear the door open.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “I needed to get up. I didn’t hear you come in. How long have you been here?”

  “Just a few, but will you do me a favor? I forgot my face wash, will you grab it out of my bag?”

  “Sure, then make room, I’m joining you.”

  I finish washing my hair and turn to see a very happy Declan staring at me. I lick my lips as I roam my over his body and reach out to touch him. He moves fast and has me pinned against the wall kissing me deeply. I lift up and hitch my legs around his waist. Sliding all the way in, he breaks our kiss and stares at me with an intensity. Then he rocks back and forth until I can’t hold his eyes. I press close to him nibbling on his neck until I scream his name. He thrusts a few more times and then calls out against me. He doesn’t move us for a few minutes.
Then he turns to set me on my feet. He proceeds to wash us both and then gets towels to dry.

  When I reach for my robe, he stops my hand and leads me back to the bed. He caresses my abdomen and props his elbow, so he towers over me.

  “Please tell me it was positive?” he asks quietly.

  “What is positive?”

  “Sparkle, don’t be afraid to tell me. I saw it in your bag.”

  “I’m not afraid to tell you anything, I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He continues to rub me lightly staring at me intensely. “I saw the box in your bag. I won’t be mad even though I should have been the one with you to take the test. Tell me what it said.”

  “What te–oh my God! Are you talking about the pregnancy test? How the hell did the box get in my bag?” Then it hits me. Charlie picked up my hoodie from the floor, and I bet the box was under it.

  “Sweetie, I didn’t take any test. It wasn’t me.”

  His face falls, and there’s disappointment in his eyes. Then there’s fire.

  “Please don’t fucking tell me that Jimi knocked my sister up? I will kill him.”

  I know there’s a strict sisterhood code I’m about to break, but I can’t take the chance Declan will overreact. He better know how to keep his mouth shut after I tell him.

  “No, Abbi’s not pregnant. Actually, no one is pregnant there was just a scare. It was Charlie, but it was negative. But Declan you can’t say anything; she hasn’t had a chance to talk to Blake yet. Turns out we think it was a touch of food poisoning.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me!? Blake doesn’t wrap his shit up? What are they thinking? Do they want to procreate? Can you imagine?”

  I giggle at his terminology. “Procreate? That’s a pretty big word honey.”

  “What the fuck ever–thank God that crisis is averted.” He lays back but keeps his hands on me.

  “Dec, that’s mean. Charlie was actually a little upset.”

  “I’m being honest.”

  “Let’s discuss the fact that you wanted it to be positive. This is not the first time you’ve mentioned having kids. I think we need to talk about it. I want to wait a little while after we’re married.”