Surviving

by Ahren Sanders

  Our parents hug us and tell Declan repeatedly how excited and proud they are. Mike joins us and goes over the small agenda again. I roll my eyes because tonight is embedded in my brain, and I shared with the guys until they memorized it.

  We chit chat for a few minutes until dinner is announced. We find a spot to sit with Cooper and his family. Whereas Cooper’s image screams ‘rock n roll’ in every sense of the terms, his parents scream ‘conservative.’ Robbie joins us with Tripp. And they dominate the conversation arguing once again about some sporting event.

  There’s a flash of blue at the door but then someone steps directly in my vision. I scoot back and gasp. Ember is standing in the doorway looking around nervously. She is stunning in a deep blue cocktail dress and silver heels. She wore her hair down in soft waves. I jump up and whisper to Declan to save the last seats at the table. He sees her too and raises his eyebrows.

  When I get to her, I hug her tight. “I’m so glad you came. You look amazing.”

  She plays with her hair apprehensively, “Thank you again for the invite. I don’t think I’ve ever been to anything quite like this.”

  “Me neither. Come on, I saved you a seat at our table. But be warned, Cooper’s parents are there and they one hundred percent opposite of him. They’re so normal!” I wink at her, and she giggles.

  After introducing Ember to everyone at the table, she looks around nervously. Cooper breaks the ice by telling her to explain how hot he looked in the tux he was fitted for. She smiles shyly but does compliment him. I point out the buffet, and she leaves to get food. When she is gone, Robbie looks at me with heat in his eyes.

  “Raven, what are you doing?”

  “Nothing, I invited her because she has been fun to talk to and keeps me updated on when everyone gets their fittings. Even though she’s shy, she still likes to go out. And let’s not forget that she’s a knockout.”

  He nods his head and looks in her direction. She was stopped by Abbi and Jimi, and she is laughing at whatever they are talking about.

  “Robbie, what’s the hold up? She’s fucking hot. At least talk to her.” Tripp adds. He met her briefly at my birthday celebration.

  When she returns to the table, he stands and pulls back her chair. She looks shocked but smiles at him, exposing her dimples. He returns the smile.

  I don’t get a chance to start a conversation because Mike’s voice comes over the microphone and welcomes everyone. He goes into the history of Sayge and their growing popularity around town. We laugh when he recalls the phone call from Jay last year asking him to come see a local band that had potential at Bonnaroo. Mike talks through the steps to get to where we are tonight and the dedication and determination Sayge’s members have. At a back table I recognize a few of the bloggers from Atlanta taking notes.

  All the while he talks, there are pictures playing on the overhead screen of the last few months. Most of them are during the photo shoot and video, but there are a few from The Steamroom and performances around town. If it was possible, I would burst from pride. I look around the room and see the same look on almost everyone’s faces. David looks like he may have unshed tears in his eyes. I clutch at Declan’s hand trying to let him know how proud I am without words.

  When Mike is done, he introduces Cooper to say a few words. This surprises me because they voted Declan to speak. Cooper makes it to the small podium and looks around nervously. He finds each member of the band and does a chin lift. Declan returns the sentiment.

  “It may sound funny, since I perform five nights a week and spent this summer on tour, but I’m not good at public speaking.” There are several laughs around the room.

  “Mike pretty much gave you the run down on Sayge and our love for music. We never expected to be here tonight celebrating an album with our friends and families. We only wanted to share our music. When we were approached last year about touring with our good friends in Knight’s Dream, we jumped at the chance. We’ve made some mistakes along the way, but we made a pact to never lose sight again.” He pauses and looks directly at me.

  My heart races and my eyes fill with tears. I shake my head at him, and Declan scoots me as close as he can.

  “To say we worked hard on this project is true but we had fun. We also had help. We’ve always been a four man band and last summer we realized we added a member. She’s a tiny little thing, but her impact on our music and friendships is the reason we are here. She literally inspired the songs on this album and keeps us inline.” Cooper takes a break and then speaks again. “We have so many people to thank, the producers, sound techs, photographers, videographers, Mike and MJ Labels, the list goes on and on. But from all of us, we want to thank Raven. Now I want to show you the music video for our debut release “Surviving.” He pushes a button and the screen goes dark.

  Declan maneuvers me so I slide in his lap and Cooper takes my seat. I lean over and hug him tightly trying to calm down.

  As soon as the video starts both men hold my hands, and we watch the most heartbreaking and beautiful love story play out on the screen. When we get to the bar scene and the pole dancing, Declan kisses me discreetly on my neck.

  There’s a slight change at the end, instead of the fade to black, I’m standing there in a veil smiling. The picture is from one of our failed dress shopping days. We played around with accessories, but I still hadn’t found a dress. Any one of my friends could have taken this, but I’m not mad. This closes the story.

  The lights go up, and the room breaks out in clapping and cheering. I look around through my glossy eyes and see my mom crying and dad smiling. Robbie stands in front of me and takes me out of Declan’s lap. He hugs me tight and swings me around. In less than five seconds our entire group of friends surrounds us, and I throw myself at Nate and Blake.

  Declan pulls me away and tucks me to his side. Nate rolls his eyes and turns back to his family. My parents and David get through the crowd to us, and my mom is beaming. They complement us and David hugs Declan for a little longer than normal. Champagne is served, and Mike starts playing Sayge’s music over the speaker system.

  Two hours later, the party breaks up. Robbie hugs me goodbye and offers to walk Ember to her car. She turns red but nods her head.

  I’m waiting for Declan to get our coats when I feel someone very close to my side. I look over and see Kelly stopped and staring at me.

  “Hello Kelly.”

  “Hi, Raven. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?” She sounds worried.

  “Kelly, I’ve had an amazing night. I’m really not in the mood to ruin it.”

  “No, I need to apologize. I’m sorry for the way I treated you in Vegas and the things I said to you. I was completely out of line, and I feel like a fool.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I mean I was mortified at first when Mike sent me home, but I still thought I would get my chance to say ‘I told you so.’ But in the last few weeks in our meetings and then tonight, I realize you aren’t a typical band girlfriend. You are so much more.”

  “Apology accepted.”

  Declan walks up and gives me a questioning look, but I cut my eyes to let him know it’s okay. We say good night and leave to meet our friends for an after party.

  Chapter 34

  Pont des Arts

  The weekend after the launch party, we decorated for Christmas. My mom gladly offered me a ton of decorations for the house, but Declan and I had to start from scratch with our tree.

  We all participated in the angel tree again this year and spent the entire afternoon on Sunday wrapping gifts for our selected children. This year Sayge adopted a child too, and the guys gave me the money for the shopping. Amber was trying to set up a photo op for the band dropping off the gifts to emphasize the commitment to the local community.

  The week after the launch party was wild. As predicted, the video went viral on the websites and YouTube. The album was doing great on digital downloads, and Mike was working with Jay and Amber
on a press junket after New Year’s. I was keeping the calendars up to date, and Sayge decided to cut back their performances to three a week. This gave everyone a much needed break and time to appreciate the efforts of the last few months.

  I was at a complete loss what to get Declan this year for Christmas. I finally found the perfect gift online but didn’t know one thing about musical instruments. I recruited Blake to come with me to pick it out. My next gift was much more personal. I didn’t tell a soul about it and hoped I could hide it until Christmas.

  On Christmas Eve, we arrived at my parents early so I could help with dinner. When Declan brought our bags in, my dad paused but told him to put them in my room. My mom and I were shocked, but Declan didn’t wait around for him to change his mind.

  Exactly like every year, Robbie came in late and panicked. I wrapped his gifts, and he finished helping with dinner. The Black’s and David arrive at the same time, and we sit around the living room until dinner’s ready. My dad gives a prayer and thanks God for our health and prosperity. He finishes by mentioning families merging and new beginnings. I’m glad David joined us since the girls are with their boyfriends.

  I feel sorry for Finn during dinner because we all drill him about his job in Paris the kind of projects he worked on. Some of them sound really boring, but my dad, Robbie and David take interest.

  After dinner, we go to the living room for our present exchange. The parents exchange the normal bottles of wine and Christmas ornaments. When my mom opens David’s gift she gasps. It is a beautiful crystal nativity scene set inside a glass globe. When she hugs him, he blushes like a girl.

  Finn whistles when he opens my gift. I found a vintage set of coins encased in a sterling box. He used to collect coins before he left for the Marines, and I thought about him immediately when I found them. He explains my gift is in his truck, so he goes to get it.

  He comes back into the room carrying a large picture box. “Don’t worry, Baby Girl, the packaging is for protection. I had this shipped here.”

  I rip into the paper and am stunned at the sketch in the frame. Tears fall down my cheeks. It’s a picture of Pont des Arts in Paris. I remember only getting halfway to the bridge before I broke down. I look up at him, and he is grinning. He nods his head, and I know what he did.

  I shove the frame to Declan and jump into Finn’s arms knocking him back. It is such an intimate gift, but if I ever had a doubt he didn’t approve of me and Declan, those doubts are gone. My dad clears his throat, and I back up to see seven confused faces.

  “This is a bridge in Paris we visited. It’s a pedestrian bridge with breathtaking views.” I leave out my meltdown and the most important part of the gift. Declan looks at me with hurt is his eyes but I mouth, “I’ll tell you later.”

  We hang out for a while longer before The Blacks and David leave. Following tradition Declan, Robbie and I lounge on the sofa, turn on “A Christmas Story,” and my parents go to bed. I fall asleep on them and wake when Declan carries me to my room. I change into a pair of new silk pajamas and hope that Declan doesn’t question my outfit. I rarely wear long sleeved pant sets to bed, but since we are in my parents’ house, it felt appropriate.

  He doesn’t say anything when I get in bed, but I can tell he is bothered by my exchange with Finn.

  “Dec, let me explain. It’s not what you’re thinking.”

  He looks down at me as I lay across his chest; waiting for me to continue. “That bridge is beautiful and crosses The Seine River. It is also known to be a special place for lovers.” He stiffens under me. “Only, I wouldn’t know. Finn and I went to see it and enjoy the views. We were almost on the bridge when a street musician started playing. It hit me so hard and flooded my mind with thoughts of you. I panicked. We never went across it.”

  “What was with the excitement then? Seems like a pretty intimate gift if you never even crossed it.”

  “Well, supposedly there’s a gesture that lovers do when on the bridge. They attach a padlock with their names engraved on it to the railings. Then they throw away the key as a sign of commitment and love.”

  “I’m not sure I like where you are going with this.”

  “That was the gesture Finn made with his head tonight. He placed a padlock on the bridge with our names on it. You and me, Declan.”

  He relaxes under me but doesn’t speak for a few minutes. “Finn sure makes it hard to have bad feelings against him. I swear tonight the jealousy came back. But now I feel like an asshole. Now the jealousy I have is not taking you to that bridge myself.”

  “Would it bother you if I hang it in our living room?”

  “That’s perfect, Sparkle, perfect.”

  *****

  The smell of cinnamon and coffee wakes me up in the same position I fell asleep. I try to slip out of bed without waking Declan, but he clasps my wrist causing me to yelp. It was just a sting, but he took me by surprise. His eyes bulge, and he shoots up.

  “Did I fucking hurt you?”

  I try to pull back but he slides my sleeve up and see’s the bandage on my wrist. I’d been able to hide it with sweaters and long sleeves the last two days.

  “What the hell happened?” He looks at me with worry.

  “I wanted to surprise you tonight. It’s sort of your Christmas present.”

  “My Christmas present?”

  I gently pull the bandaging off and show him the tattoo I got the other morning. I watch his face for any kind of expression, but it’s blank.

  “I couldn’t really think of anything else and I wanted something to match yours. So I got the guy to–”

  “Aries. You got him to ink my sign on you.”

  I nod my head wondering if he’s mad. This wasn’t exactly the reaction I hoped for.

  His eyes twinkle looking at me. Gently, avoiding my wrist, he moves me under him and kisses me. We’re about to get carried away when my mom calls for us.

  I roll off the bed, grab my robe and go to the bathroom. When I come out, he is sitting with his head in his hands.

  “Dec, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, not a fucking thing.”

  “Why do you look so sad?”

  “I’m not sad, I’m thanking God. You are the best things to ever happen to me. I can’t believe you got a tattoo that represents me.”

  I don’t have anything to say, and my mom calls us again to come down. Declan gets up and kisses me quickly, before disappearing into the bathroom.

  I meet my mom and Robbie in the kitchen and pour coffee. My dad is on the covered patio reading the paper.

  “Merry Christmas!” I tell everyone. Robbie gives me a chin lift and my mom kisses my head.

  Declan comes in and we go to the living room. Half an hour later the room looks like a bomb went off as we examine each other’s gifts. Robbie and I went in together on a garden fountain for my mom. It was being delivered next week, so I wrapped a picture of it. She loved it. My dad was heavily involved in the new smartphone we bought. Robbie and I agreed his blackberry was outdated. I pack up my and Declan’s gifts, which take two large gift bags.

  When we have the living room cleaned up, Declan and I get ready to go to David’s for the rest of the day. Before we leave, Robbie corners me and grabs my arm.

  “I knew I saw something there earlier, but didn’t want to let Mom and Dad know. When’d you get the tatt?”

  “Few days ago. It’s Declan’s sign.”

  “Yeah, I know. It’s nice.”

  “You’re not going to yell at me?”

  “Nope. For the same reason, you’re not going to yell at me.”

  “What’d you do?”

  “I bought a bike. Haven’t told Mom and Dad yet, but I’m picking it up next week.”

  “Really? That’s so cool.”

  “Yep, and it’s badass.”

  We talk for a few minutes about the bike, and he promises to bring it by when he picks it up. I remind him of the Sayge show on New Year’s Eve and then meet Declan in th
e kitchen.

  We say our goodbyes and head to David’s house. Jimi and Will’s trucks are in the driveway when we arrive. I laid the desserts I brought on the counter and go to set the table. Once we’re all seated, David says the blessing and makes a point to welcome all the new people to our family. I smile because this time next year I’ll truly be a Collins.

  Instead of listening to stories of the Collins childhoods and laughing, I’m defending myself. Jimi and I clearly remember things differently growing up. Declan and David encourage him to continue with stories that embarrass me as I argue. I turn beet red when he tells the story of the guys coming to one of our dance competitions. Harper, Kendall, and I were thrown in with a group of more experienced street performers. One of the guys got the wrong idea and grabbed my ass during a turn. Robbie, Jimi, Finn, and Max all confronted him after the dance and explained I was seventeen and warned him to keep his hands to himself. For the rest of the day, not one guy would partner with me. After that, I tried to keep all my performances secret.

  Finally, I threaten to talk about the wedding planning and they shut up. When everyone is done eating, and the kitchen is clean we gather in the living room.

  Declan motions for me to come sit with him in the armchair, while David hands out presents. I explain to Will and Jimi that the Collins’ are much more polite than our families when it comes to opening gifts. Abbi and Ella go first and show their delight with everything. Declan and I didn’t do a ton of shopping this year, but I did make sure to get each of them something besides a gift card. We all pitched in and got David an eReader. Declan started opening his gifts, and I wait until he’s done to get my last present.

  I motion to Jimi, and he pulls the guitar out from behind the couch. The whole room is quiet watching his reaction.

  “You never seem to stop amazing me. Come here.”

  I land across his legs, and he kisses me quickly. “Do you like it?”

  “Yeah, I like it. How’d you pick it out?”

  “I must admit, I was out of my element so Blake helped me.” I tell the group about my shopping trip with Blake and his frustration with my lack of knowledge. Declan holds me close against him as we finish opening presents.