Surviving

by Ahren Sanders

Friends, family, and fans are screaming their support for Sayge to succeed. Maybe now that the truth is out, they can cut ties and free themselves of any unwanted burdens.

  I stop reading because the words jumble and tears spill down my cheeks. The pictures that accompany the online article are all from my personal library. There are shots of not only Paris, but also, concerts and charities. There are also personal texts from me to Finn that go back to last fall. This is one hundred times worse than the postings that came through Facebook last month. Someone has released personal information about us and twisted it into hateful lies. How did this reporter find out about Christie? How did they find out about Raine? What the hell is going on here?

  Even though we are in the library, the buzz around my table is getting louder, and I know people are reading this article. I pack up my things to leave trying to keep my hair in my face so no one will see my tears. I get up to leave and feel a strong hand on my arm.

  “RJ, it’s me. I’m gonna get you out of here. Even the campus policy can’t stop the fucking idiots from taking pictures and screaming. Hold onto me tight, and no one will touch you.” Finn whispers in my ear. I curl my body around his and let him walk us out.

  He leads me to his truck and shields me as I get in. He gets us out of the parking lot and away from peeping eyes before I lose it. Sobs wrack my body until I can’t breathe. I’m not sure how long we drive, but I feel him lift me out of the truck. Then another set of arms reach around me, and I smell the familiar scent of Declan.

  His face is a mixture between worry, anguish and rage. He walks us over to the couch while Finn goes through my bags pulling out my laptop and cell phone. My dad and mom come through the door, and my dad is screaming into his phone.

  “Now! File a suit against them now for slander and get that fucking article pulled. It’s already done enough damage. Every single word and accusation in that piece of shit is false. So, call in whatever favors you have to. We’ll get a plan together later on who to go after first, but find out if anyone talked to Christie.”

  Robbie comes in next looking like he could kill someone. My mom sits on the other side of me and holds my hand since Declan won’t let me go. The door swings open again, and Nate, Blake, and Cooper come barging in looking furious.

  No one speaks for a few seconds waiting for me to say something. The only thing that comes out of my mouth is “How?” Another round of tears spills out.

  “We don’t know, Baby Girl, but we’re here to find out. I’m doing everything I can to get it pulled off the internet right now.” My dad leans in front of me and cups my chin. “You need to calm down. Getting this upset could trigger a migraine and we need you to be healthy, okay?”

  I nod my head and take deep breaths. Robbie brings me a bottle of water and a shot. I raise my eyebrows at him, and he shrugs his shoulders.

  Declan still hasn’t spoken. The look on his face is agonizing for me to see. The thought of him in pain turns my emotions from sad to angry.

  “I’m better, let’s start talking. Tell me what you know.” I try to sound calm directing my question at anyone who will answer.

  “I’m scanning your systems right now for any kind of intrusive entry into your personal files on your phone and computer. It’ll take a minute.” Finn answers.

  “Mike’s on his way over right now to talk about our next steps. We’re going after this fucking rag with everything we got.” Declan tells me.

  “Holy Shit.” Finn hisses.

  We all turn to look at him, and his face is full of fury.

  “I just did a Google search on your name Raven. It’s not good. There are pictures all over the internet of us in Paris. There are few of you and Brent and Kyle at school, but mostly me. They are linked to Facebook pages, blog sites, local publications, etc. How the fuck did these get leaked?”

  “I’m so sorry this is going to look so bad for all of you.” My voice cracks.

  “Raven, stop. This was a deliberate set up, and we need to get to the bottom of it. This was meant to make you look manipulative and conniving, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Whoever wrote this had no idea the fucking backlash they’re about to get. We don’t give a shit if we look bad, because it’s all fucking lies.” Cooper tells me.

  Mike walks in, and the look on his face is scary. I slink back into Declan a little, and he holds me tighter. “What the fuck do we know so far?”

  “Just another minute.” Finn says.

  “Declan, why are you so quiet? What are you thinking?”

  “I’m thinking I’m gonna kill someone. I’d like to start with the fucking reporter then I want to go after the sources.”

  “I can tell you right now, there are multiple sources. Raine came right out and spoke, and I swear it was Sami that talked about me not allowing fans to come backstage. Remember my birthday party, Mark turned her away.”

  “Yeah, but who knows all the other shit?”

  “I don’t know, baby.”

  “Got something!” Finn turns to us. “This is good stuff, it’s almost as high tech as your equipment, James. Someone has put a signal on Raven’s phone to be able to extract data within a certain range. They also hacked into the home IP address to get to all your personal files. I’ve recorded the data lines, but there are a lot to go through.”

  “Geek Speak, can you tell me what all that means?” I ask.

  “It means, someone got close enough to you to wire a signal to your personal phone, iPad and computer. This allowed them pull your texts, pictures, emails, and any social media. The problem is anywhere you’ve used your computer has wired a line in. So the library, classroom, home, MJ’s offices, The Steamroom, etc. This person could have gotten your information anywhere. James can take it to his tech guys to see if we can get a hit on your hotspots.”

  “What about all my wedding information?” I shriek.

  “Not sure what all was hit. I’ll keep looking to see if anything looks unusual. But I’ve applied an antivirus to kill the signal.”

  “So what do we do now?”

  “Now we move. I’ll talk to the reporter doing the expose and see if we can get him to interview sooner. I know you wanted to wait for it to hit the market after you graduate, but we can’t sit on this. We need to react and kill any validity this story has. We also need to stand united. I’ll see if we can start setting up the interviews ASAP.” Mike answers.

  “I’m not so sure it’s a good idea for me to be part of this story anymore. I could potentially hurt Sayge.”

  The room goes still and every head swings to me. Declan blows out a frustrated breath behind me.

  “Thought you understood we’re a group.” Blake says tensely. “That means you too.”

  “But aren’t you concerned about what people will think after reading what came out today?”

  “No,” all four guys say at once.

  “Okay, Mike set it up.”

  “Another thing we wanted to talk to you about. We were hoping under better circumstances, but we want you to be our manager.” Declan states.

  “WHAT?!”

  “Jay is going to still be our Label Rep, but he’s taking on more clients so he can’t go this summer. We want you to be in charge and manage Sayge.”

  “Are you crazy?”

  “Not sure I want to answer that right now, considering I want to punch a hole through the wall.”

  “Okay, let me rephrase. I don’t know anything about being a manager.”

  “You do, but don’t realize it. Promise us you’ll think about it.”

  I look at all four guys and nod my head in agreement.

  “So what’s next?” Robbie asks reminding me of the stupid article.

  “Injunction to pull it down. File to sue. Our lawyers start talking and we see if we can get who the supposed source is. Raven gets protection starting tomorrow. Mike sets up the response article, and we straighten this shit out.” Dad answers without missing a beat.

  “Sounds like a pl
an. Now let’s have a fucking drink. I need one after this shit.” Robbie goes to the kitchen.

  “Dec, how did Finn get to me so fast today?”

  “I called him as soon as Mike told me about the article. He tracked your phone and went to the library to get you. I hoped you hadn’t seen it yet.”

  “A few days ago we were celebrating. How the hell did this happen?”

  “I don’t know, but we’re going to find out. You keep focused on school and our wedding, and leave the rest to me.”

  “Okay, honey.” I kiss him quickly and get up to help my brother.

  *****

  He’s not going to be happy, but I don’t think I can do it. This is their shot, their work, their tour. I can’t bring drama. I need to talk to him now before I change my mind. Declan is looking over notes on the tour when I sit next to him.

  “Dec, we need to talk.”

  “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to join you guys this summer. You know I’ll come whenever you want me, but with this recent article, I’m scared I’ll hurt you guys.”

  “Really, Raven? You think I’m going without you?”

  “You have to!”

  “Nope, you’re going and you’re gonna be our manager.”

  “Why aren’t you listening to me? I can’t–”

  “Come with me.” He interrupts and yanks me to my feet. I follow him to our guest room, and he pulls out a box of small notebooks from the closet.

  “What is that?”

  “Those are the letters I wrote to you last year. Some books have song lyrics in them, but mostly they’re to you.”

  “Why didn’t you show them to me before now?”

  “Because I’m a pussy. When we got back home, I had other things on my mind. Namely getting that ring back on your finger. I didn’t want to go back to the dark place I was. We had said no more apologies and no looking back, so I didn’t mention them again.”

  “But why now?”

  “Because you are the most important thing in my life, and you need to know I can’t go to that dark place again. Someone chose to invade our lives and bring up things that hurt us both. I will figure that out. I need you with me, and you need to be our manager. We trust you one-hundred percent, and you’ve never let us down. Please, don’t say no.”

  “I need more time. I’m confused.”

  “‘Bout what?”

  “Two days ago we were thrown for a loop. People hate me; Sayge fans are raging on the internet, and I have security walking me to class. I need to know this is the right thing for you!”

  “Oh baby, you never really had a choice. It wasn’t a yes or no answer. You’re a smart girl that had taken note of what we need. You care about us and our success. You are it, so just say yes.” He starts kissing down my neck and squeezes my ass. I try to argue, but my body betrays me.

  “Yes.”

  The smile on his face melts my heart. His eyes are shining with happiness. “You’ll do it?”

  “I’ll be like y’all’s personal assistant right?”

  “You better not be anyone’s personal assistant but mine. Those fuckers think differently, I’ll beat them.”

  “Shut up, really, what would I do?”

  “Well, Amber will focus mostly on other MJ clients and you will take over our PR, schedules, and appearances. You’ll still be in charge of the social aspects unless you don’t have time. We’ll be on the road a lot so we can do call-in shows a few days a week to promote the concerts. Jay will work with you too.”

  The thought excites me. I’ve enjoyed learning more about the music industry the last few months. Then it hits me, I’ll be in charge. These guys will have to listen to me. For the first time in three days, I smile.

  Chapter 44

  Pleasure Party

  “Sparkle, my sisters called and said you need to be there by five thirty. I’m going to drive you.” Declan comes into our bedroom as I look through my outfit choices for the night.

  “Okay, do you know what the big surprise is?”

  “Yes, but it’s a surprise. After the week you’ve had, I think you deserve it.”

  “Fine, but I can’t wait to tell your sister’s my news. It’s the best thing that happened this shitty week.”

  “What news is that?”

  “That I’m your new boss.” I tease him smiling.

  “Call yourself whatever you want. But behind closed doors, I think we both know who’s the boss.” He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me gently. I wrap my arms around him, and he carries me to the bed.

  “I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure I hold as much authority as you do.” I whisper against his lips.

  “You think so? I’m not so sure about that. Maybe we should test that theory.” He kisses along my jawline.

  “How should we do that?”

  He rolls me on top of him. I straddle my knees on each side of his hips and grind against his erection.

  I run my hands up his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it behind me. I sit up and stare at his chest thinking where I want to start.

  “You gonna stare at me or prove you’re a badass?”

  “Shut up, I’m trying to decide–”

  I don’t finish my sentence because he flips us over and positions himself between my legs. “Babe, you were taking too long. I don’t need to decide because I already know. Let’s start with getting you undressed.”

  He pulls my sweatshirt over my head and licks his lips when he sees I’m not wearing a bra. He uses one hand to massage one breast while sucking on the other. I push my chest into his touch and grind my hips against him. Using my hands to pull down his pants, I rub my fingers over his head and coat the tip with his moisture. I feel a sting and look down to see a bite mark on my boob.

  He grins up at me and lowers himself kissing down my stomach until he reaches the waistband of my yoga pants. Instead of pulling them down he kisses me through the fabric

  “There’s a wet spot on your pants, you want something from me?” He continues to kiss my thighs and massage my ass.

  Bastard! He knows what he’s doing. He’s trying to make me beg.

  “Nah, I’m okay.”

  “Really, you sure you don’t need anything from me?” He moves back and uses his hand to cup me. His fingers glide back and forth over the fabric and my folds.

  I raise my hips and push against his hand trying to cause friction. A little more and I’ll come against just his touch. “No, I’m okay.” My voice cracks.

  He smirks down at me and removes his hand. Kneeling in front of me, he forces my knees apart and stares at my now drenched pants. Without saying a thing, he starts stroking himself. My pulse races watching him touch himself.

  I try to reach him, but he scoots out of arms reach. His eyes are daring me to take over. I knife up and try to tackle him, but he braces, so we don’t roll over.

  “Just tell me you want it, as soon as you admit it, we’ll both be better off. Tell me.”

  “I fucking want you! Fine, you’re the boss.”

  Once the words leave my mouth, he pushes me back and pulls my pants off. He slides into me easily, and I moan. I’m so worked up I could come on contact. I squeeze him tight with my thighs and suck on his neck. He doesn’t move for a few seconds and I try to calm down. One move and I could explode.

  He moves, so our foreheads lay against one another and starts gliding in and out of me slowly. He nips gently at my lips and uses one hand to pinch my ass. I dig my heels into the bed and arch my whole body into his. He moves faster and my body tremors with anticipation. The sound of our bodies moving together fills the room. I buck up against him begging for release.

  “Dec, I’m right there.”

  “Let go baby, I need to feel you.”

  I lose all control and yell his name into his neck. He moans and comes with me, panting against my cheek.

  “Every fucking time, Sparkle. Fucking fireworks.”
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  *****

  “You call me as soon as you’re ready to leave. If you don’t call by eleven, I’m coming to get you anyway.” Declan tells me as he hugs me goodbye.

  We’re standing in front of Abbi and Ella’s door, and he won’t let me go. I know he’s nervous about letting me out of his sight.

  “Declan! For God’s sake, let her go! We’re ready to start.” Ella says slinking out the door with a black cloth in her hand.

  “Ella, give me that. I want to be the one who blindfolds her. It’s one of my favorite things to do.”

  “EEEWWW!” she screams and I feel my face turning red.

  Declan turns me around and puts the blindfold on while kissing down my neck. Even though I want to smack him, I’m enjoying the touch.

  “I’ll see you soon. I love you.” He kisses me sweetly then puts my hand in Ella’s.

  She leads me a few steps in, and I smell candles. She stops me and pulls off the blindfold.

  “Surprise!” I look around, and all my girlfriends including Ember, Amber, and Mari are standing in the living room.

  There is a lady I don’t recognize in the corner and gifts piled high against the sofa. The coffee table is full of booklets and creams. I look around confused, and Kendall grabs me first.

  “Raven, you didn’t think we wouldn’t give you a bridal shower did you? Just because you sprung on us the quickest wedding in history, doesn’t mean you get out of all the fun. So tonight we combine.”

  “What?”

  “Let me introduce Tracy. She’s our consultant for the night. First we eat and drink. Then we play.” She leads me to the kitchen, and all our friends join us.

  Abbi pours the cosmos and toasts me. While we’re drinking, I notice my favorite foods are here and ask about it.

  “Jenna supplied the food. She thought it would be weird to be here, so she catered the party instead. I thought it would be a hoot if she were here, but she still said no.” Charlie tells me.

  “Why would it be weird?” I ask.

  “Because Raven Haven, this is a Pleasure Party. And to top it off, we are including a lingerie shower. We’ll do the proper and etiquette thing next weekend at your mom’s, but tonight is about sex.”