Ten landed without him responding to her. By twelve she was screaming out each count, and crying between them, she had pressed her hips against the wall in front of her and her legs were shaking with the effort of holding her up, but her thighs were still damp. “Please... forgive me... I’m so sorry, Master... forgive me! THIRTEEN!” She squirmed against the wall as the next strike overlapped another welt, and the fiery pain had not had enough time to spread out and fade yet. She felt his hand on her shoulder, pressing her forward against the wall. His grip was warm and firm, and she felt it tighten just before another vicious line of fire striped across her ass. “FOURTEEN! Please, I’m so sorry, stop, Master, please, stop.”
His grip on her shoulder stayed firm, but he waited longer between the strikes. James gave her plenty of time to breathe through her ragged sobs, to decide whether or not to use the safe word. She finally gulped down air and leaned her head forward in wordless resignation. His fingers tightened on her shoulder again and another strike landed, even harder than before. “FIFTEEN! Fifteen, fifteen...”
He let go of her shoulder and stepped back. She breathed slowly through her tears trying to see if she could calm down. The throbbing skin of her ass matched the pulse between her thighs and he had to know how wet she was.
“You made me five promises, Thalia. Your last five strokes are for breaking each of them.” The hurt leaked into his voice, and she sobbed and nodded. To earn his forgiveness, she’d take ten more, fifteen more, whatever he decided. “Stay still, continue the count.”
“Ye- yes, Master.” She took a shuddering breath and resolved to keep still. Her brain was tempted to let go, to step into that mentality he called subspace where the pain bled across the border into sheer sensation that would start to build her toward an orgasm. But that wasn’t for a punishment, she knew better. She stayed firmly present.
“You promised you’d enroll in school.” A line of fire that made her back arch.
“Sixteen!” She shouted and pressed her thighs together and he waited until she returned to position.
“You promised you’d attend yoga classes.” Another stroke.
“Seventeen!” She wailed and gritted her teeth against the urge to beg.
“You promised you’d visit the cafe to do class work.” Another that almost made her legs buckle.
“Eighteen!” She screamed it.
“You promised me you’d make friends so you weren’t alone all week.” His voice was pained, and his disappointment hurt almost as much as the lash of the cane.
“Nineteen! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“And you promised me... you’ve promised me so many times that you’d never put yourself in jeopardy. That you’d never risk yourself. And you did.” His voice was iron when he said it, and the lash landed right where her ass met her thighs and it made her legs buckle for an instant before she recovered enough to scream.
“TWENTY!” She sobbed and she heard the cane hit the floor before his hand rubbed gently over the welts, and his other arm wrapped around her to lift her and let her gain her footing. It soothed her in one way, and made her shiver in another as sensation piled on sensation.
“I need you.” His voice was raw against her ear and she nodded through her tears, widening her stance in time for his hand to slide over her hip and between her thighs. “Fuck, pet, how are you so wet after that?”
His fingers slid through her folds and he thrust two fingers inside her, she groaned and pushed her hips back against him. He eased the tension on the nylon strap connected to her collar so her legs could spread a little wider. “Master?”
“This is for my pleasure, not yours. Do not come unless I tell you to, understand?” His words growled against her ear, his fingers withdrew and she felt the head of his cock against her. She bit down on the moan and nodded as the coarse hair of his legs brushed against the welts.
Then he thrust hard inside her in one movement. His strong body pushed her forward against the wall and he ground his hips against her ass making her gasp and whimper as the welts sent aftershocks of pain through her. But then he withdrew and thrust hard again. His fingers dug into her hips, pulling her against him hard and she gasped in pleasure, her fists clenching. He ground against her again and she moaned.
“Do not come.” He growled in her ear and thrust again, and she had to swallow the cry of pleasure. The pain and pleasure were rebounding so quickly her body couldn’t differentiate. Her clit was throbbing with her pulse and she was one flick away from coming apart against him. She was sure he knew that, he knew her body. There was no point in begging for release. If he wanted her to have it, he would give it to her.
His pace picked up and Thalia’s legs shook as he drove her against the wall, his fingers leaving his mark on her hips as he thrust deep. Stretching her, filling her, stoking the heat that coiled around her spine until she was shaking her head against the wall and whimpering as she fought her pending orgasm. “Master, oh god, please... please, I can’t, I can’t...”
“You’re forgiven, pet.” His voice was thick as he mumbled against her ear, his mouth kissing its way down her neck to her shoulder. “Come for me.” He bit down on her shoulder, his fingers slid to her clit and he rubbed her in that rhythm he knew perfectly – and she shattered. Pleasure exploded on the other side of the pain and the guilt she’d felt, her mind shorting out with the intensity of it and the relief of his forgiveness. He caught her when her legs gave out, pinning her against him with an arm around her waist as he came inside her. He growled her name against her skin. His warm seed filling her as she mumbled incoherent thanks through the haze of her brilliant orgasm.
She heard a click and the tension of the nylon strap was gone and she just slumped against him. He released her wrists one at a time, and sat down on the floor with her tucked in his lap. They were both sweating, and the welts along her backside were burning and aching with the forming bruises as his legs brushed against them but she didn’t care. James wrapped his arms around her, and spoke against her neck, “I’m going to figure out how to help you, pet. I’m not giving up on you, but you can’t give up on me either. You have to trust me with all of it, even the bad stuff. We either know all the good and all the bad, or we don’t stand a chance.”
Hope bloomed in her chest. Fragile and tentative.
“We still have a chance?” Her voice was shaking, but she’d finally stopped crying. Thalia felt like she’d cried for hours, and she was tired of it.
“I think we have a very good chance, but will you trust me? With all of it? No more half-truths?”
“Yes, Master. I’ll always tell you the truth, I swear.” She said it confidently, because she knew after facing the risk of losing him tonight she’d never take the chance again. He tilted her head back and kissed her, his mouth taking control. His teeth grazed her bottom lip and he moaned into her mouth, and she moaned back. She kissed him hard and murmured against his lips trying to voice how his caring, his touch, his dominance filled a place inside her. She thought his returned groans sounded just as satisfied.
She’d never risk this again. Ever.
James was in awe of Thalia as he left her lying face down on the bed asleep. He’d rubbed her down with balm on the twenty lashes of the cane he’d marked her with from the top of her ass to the middle of the backs of her thighs. All of those welts were going to bruise, most of them already had. He’d watch them.
She had needed it. Needed to cleanse her guilt, and his Dominant side had needed to punish her for disobeying him about her safety, and for breaking her promises to him. And she had been amazing, still so incredibly responsive. Her juices had dripped down her thighs while he took the cane to her, and even when he thought she might safe word, she hadn’t. She’d taken the punishment, and now it was in the past.
He went into his office to think, because while her actions were done with, her issues were still present. “What are you going to do, James?” He mumbled to himself as he leaned on
the desk.
On one level he felt better addressing the issues with Thalia, but he still felt like shit for not recognizing WHY she hadn’t been making a life for herself all these months. He hadn’t even double-checked her in the last couple of weeks... probably because on some level he’d known she wasn’t doing any of it. The nightmares had grown infrequent, but she wasn’t better. The bruises and the welts had been the easy part to heal, and the least important. She was traumatized. Of course she was. What on earth had made him think he had anywhere near the expertise to help her through what had happened to her?
Arrogant bastard.
He should have known better. He wasn’t some twenty-year-old new Dom. He should know the limits of his own abilities and know when to ask for help.
His eyes dropped to his phone. He knew whom he had to call. The same name and number he’d given out to new Doms he’d met who had questions, who wanted help and guidance. The phone was ringing against his ear before he realized he’d pulled up the contact.
A gruff voice came across the line, “Well now, James, this is a surprise.” The serious tone broke out into loud laughter that gave James the first relaxed smile he’d had all night.
“Kalen, it’s - ,” he sighed and sat back in his chair feeling some tension ease in his back, “- it’s good to hear your voice.”
“Ye sound, well to be honest, ye sound like utter shite, James. Ye need some help?” The rough brogue of his friend’s voice, and his instant offer to help, with no questions asked, lifted a bit of the weight off James’ shoulders that he hadn’t even realized he’d been carrying. He’d met Kalen when they were both twenty-year-old idiots swaggering around pubs and BDSM clubs in Europe like the world was going to be theirs. James had been on a break from university, Kalen had just gone wandering, and they’d fallen in like long lost brothers over a bottle of whisky and a mutual interest in a blonde submissive five years older than them. He loved the bloke like family, and the man knew him well.
He was also the only one who had the experience and the resources to help him and Thalia.
“Yeah, I do. Specifically I need your sister’s brand of help.” James should have called Kalen months ago, the guy had a way of dealing with life that made anything seem easier, and his sister was incredibly well informed on the lifestyle.
“Ye need to talk to Ailsa? Ye’ve known us sixteen years, over ten of those Ailsa has been a psychologist, and now ye ask to talk to her? Ye need to tell me what’s going on.” Kalen’s voice had lost all of its humor.
“Lay your hackles down, Kalen, it’s not for me.” It was James’ turn to laugh at his friend’s immediate protectiveness. He was a good friend.
“Ah, got yerself a new sub then? I thought after Shannon you’d gone celibate. It’s been over two years, James, I’m happy for ye!” Kalen’s smile was back in his voice, and then he heard another voice in the background. “Yes, it’s James, my sweet blessing. Oi -”
“James Thomas Hawkins, as I live and breathe, did I hear this right? Ye have a new girl?!” Maggie, Kalen’s spirited wife, had apparently grabbed the phone. He couldn’t stifle his laughter as he heard Kalen arguing with her in the background, and she shushed him. Actually told him to ‘shh’. She was definitely getting a spanking for that; and a sharp twinge of jealousy surged inside him that reminded him exactly why he’d pulled away from Kalen. Listening to their perfectly balanced D/s relationship cut him like a knife.
“Yes, Maggie, her name is Thalia.” James said it through laughter and another round of shushing from Maggie to Kalen. He heard Kalen’s rough voice, a quick pop, and Maggie’s squeal of delight before her voice came back to the phone laughing.
“That is a beautiful name, James, I can’t wait to meet her.” She said it quickly and then she squealed again.
“Give me the phone, dammit! I am going to bend ye over my knee the moment I’m done talking to him! Aren’t ye in enough trouble from earlier?” Several more pops as Kalen spanked his wife, and her squeals came over the phone before she laughed and he heard her kiss him. “Off with ye!”
“I can let you go, Kalen, we can talk tomorrow.” James was still smiling, but it was bitter. Listening to their banter made the gulf between what they had and his relationship with Thalia that much more obvious.
Wasn’t that why he’d called him though?
“No, I’ll settle the score with her in a bit. My palm was itching anyway!” He laughed loudly, and James realized how much he missed being around them, even though watching their interaction without having it himself was painful. “What Maggie said is true though, we want to meet her, and then Ailsa can talk to her too. Ye doubting the girl’s submissive side?”
That question was a can of worms.
Like hell he was opening it before he was face to face with Kalen to explain Thalia’s unique introduction to the BDSM lifestyle. What could he say right now without lying to Kalen – shit.
“No, um, opposite issue really. She’s... coming from a 24/7 type, and -”
“That’s not yer thing.” Kalen interrupted.
“No. Never has been, as you know, and we’ve been trying as close to it as I can manage for a few months, but -”
“It’s driving ye mad, and ye want Ailsa to determine what the girl actually wants? See if yer compatible?” Kalen interrupted him again, picking up what James himself had barely put together in the last few weeks in only a matter of minutes. He was an idiot for not calling his friend sooner. He heard Kalen sigh, and the distinct clink of ice in a glass. “Ye wouldn’t be bothering to bring her to me if ye didn’t care about this girl, James.”
“Yes, you’re right. As usual. On both points.” James took a full breath, and it felt like the first one since he’d initially seen Thalia on Marcus’ feed.
“Listen, it’s a lot easier to take a sub from part time to full time than it is to bring them back. Her whole headspace has to change, are ye sure she’s capable of that?” Kalen asked.
“She’s strong, Kalen. Brave. Fierce when she wants something. She convinced me to buy a bloody coffee pot. One that grinds the beans in the morning and sounds like a fucking jet taking off in my kitchen.” The memory made him smile, he loved how much she enjoyed it, and loved the banter it caused.
Kalen’s laugh boomed across the phone and James found himself laughing again. “So this little full-time submissive has ye, James, the powerful, business executive, Dom of too many European sex clubs to count... wrapped around her little finger?”
“Fuck off.” James was grinning as he said it, because it was true, and he really didn’t care that Thalia had him so wrapped up in her. He was enjoying it.
“That’s a yes if I’ve ever heard one! Of course ye can bring her, me and Maggie need to meet her, and Ailsa would love the challenge of talking to a full time sub who wants to suddenly go part time. Ye know she’s written so many of those journal articles about the lifestyle.” Kalen was the answer. Kalen could help them, both of them, and then at least James would know he had done everything he could to repair what Marcus had done.
He just wished he had thought of it earlier in their six months together.
“How long will it take, Kalen? In your experience.”
“Hmm...” The sound of ice clinking in a glass filled the phone line. “It depends how strong she is, and if she even wants to be part time. She may not be right for ye, James. But let’s say she wants it -”
“She’s strong and she does. At least, she told me tonight she does. She even took a pretty severe punishment to prove that she’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Alllllright…” His response dragged out. More ice clinking. Kalen and his evening scotch. “Two or three weeks could get ye guys on the right track. Ye know I’ll work with her for ye, but we’ve got people here, so it won’t be private.”
Kalen never stopped working, then again, as Master of his own submissive training school there wasn’t much incentive to take a holiday. James knew he worked quite a bit as w
ell, but his work wasn’t as rewarding as Kalen’s. Another thing to be jealous of the bastard for. He kept his voice light, “Busy time? I can wait if you need me to.”
“There’s always room for ye, James. But I’ve got five girls here, and three of their Doms. One girl is just staying with us while her boyfriend travels, and two of the girls belong to one Dom.” Kalen laughed loudly, “That is one lucky idiot.”
“Why is that?”
“He’s lucky because those two girls can’t keep their hands off each other, and he’s an idiot because those two really can’t keep their hands off each other! No matter the punishments!” They were both laughing now. “It’s been entertaining trying to keep them in line. But, in addition to all of them, I’ve got two apprentices sent my way by Eryk in Amsterdam. So, as you can tell, it’s a full house, but ye and yer sub will be welcome.”
Kalen had just lit the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. With his help there was a possibility they could both come out the other side of the six months with the possibility of more. “Her name is Thalia, Kalen.”
Striking a Balance (Thalia Book 2) (The Thalia Series) Page 10