Let It Snow

by Sue Moorcroft

  Lily screwed up the chocolate wrapper. ‘Ohhhhh … loads. I always thought it was better to educate the people who gave us a hard time but Zinnia used to go off like a firework sometimes.’

  ‘Zinnia has a temper?’ he asked ironically. ‘You amaze me.’

  She snorted a laugh then said, thoughtfully, ‘As you were younger than Hayley I suppose that could be counted as a non-standard relationship so you know how it feels. People comment. I generally preferred to increase their understanding of our situation. As a kid I wasn’t aware that the way I’d been conceived had caused issues between my parents. Even if it was unusual, our home life was great, so how could it come from something bad? In the last year of primary school I told this snarky boy that there was no standard human being. We differ in skin tone, hair and eye colour, size and shape. We have various preferences, different physical needs, different medical needs. I told him he had no right to presume he was “normal” and therefore anyone not like him was “weird”. It was illogical, arrogant and ignorant.’

  ‘Impressive for a primary school kid,’ he commented. Then, wanting her closer, he slipped an arm around her. After a moment she sank against him. ‘It was a version of a speech Patsie often gave at home,’ she admitted with a twinkle. ‘But a passing teacher was so struck he asked me to say it all again at assembly. He asked permission from Roma and Patsie and then worked with me to shape the speech so it was no longer aimed at one individual. Teachers congratulated me afterwards. Some kids went with it and talked to me about it. Some said no, I was wrong, it was weird. I raised awareness but with mixed results because some parents, once made aware of the situation, didn’t want their kids to come to our house. Zinnia reacted to the increased scrutiny by preaching positive bias and shouting about positive discrimination and how proud she was to be the daughter of two women. I suppose you could argue that my actions impacted on her then, just as they are doing now.’

  Isaac eased her closer, careful that he didn’t brush her throbbing hand. Lily was pressed all down one side of him now. He brushed a featherlight kiss on her hair. ‘Or she thinks there’s only one way to do things – her way.’

  For several moments she was quiet. Then she said, ‘Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.’ She edged herself around so she was turned more towards him. ‘Did you just kiss me?’

  ‘I did,’ he admitted, gazing at the different-coloured flecks in her eyes – green, gold and grey amidst the blue.

  Her gaze moved across his face as if examining every feature for the truth. ‘What do you expect now?’

  ‘I don’t have expectations.’ He kept his own gaze fastened on hers, showing her he had nothing to hide. ‘I have hopes. I hope you’re going to let me kiss you again.’ He didn’t exactly make it a question but then he didn’t exactly not make it a question.

  She stared at him with level blue gaze. ‘And then?’

  He felt himself tighten at a vision of exactly how he’d like to progress. ‘That’s a conversation I would very much like to have.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘But it’s nearly five o’clock and I told Tina I’d be back by five thirty to hand over so she could be gone by six. During my shift, I have to ring round the staff and finalise the rota, make sure the beer cellar’s as sorted as possible and make up the wholesaler order for Monday morning. And pack. And I have to get some sleep as I’ll be up early and driving a minibus all day tomorrow.’

  ‘We definitely need you awake,’ she agreed, but a crease had dug itself above her eyes. ‘But,’ she said, ‘just to be clear on the headlines: you want us to begin something? Going against what you said you’ve believed in your whole working life?’

  He took a moment to think about that because he hadn’t put it that way to himself but what she said was true. Did that mean he wanted her more than he wanted his job? Wow. He’d never acknowledged such a situation before. ‘I am,’ he agreed.

  Suddenly, her face cleared. ‘I suppose we’re both in temporary jobs, so we can have temporary rules.’

  ‘Right.’ He mulled this over. ‘What are the rules of temporariness?’

  Her eyes smiled. ‘We enjoy each other while we can? And we stay in it as long as it’s what we want. Now you need to hurry back to The Three Fishes and race through that long list of jobs so you’re fresh as a daisy to drive us into France tomorrow.’

  He began, reluctantly, to prepare to withdraw, but her hand landed lightly on his knee. ‘After we seal the deal with one of those kisses you promised.’

  He barely made it to the pub by five thirty.

  Chapter Twelve

  Monday the 2nd of December began with the kind of energy that felt like chaos.

  Excited and anxious, at six Lily gave up even trying to sleep. Her uber-tender hand was like a big fat claw that had tried to keep her awake all night, even while the painkillers had tried to drag her into sleep. The resultant restless dozing had made the short night seem long.

  She showered, discovering how difficult it was to dry herself with one hand, and dressed in ski pants and a purple jumper with a pink unicorn wearing a holly wreath. Ski pants and leggings were easier to manage than jeans, with their zips and buttons, so she coaxed the zip of her suitcase open a few inches and stuffed a couple of pairs inside. Then, hand pounding, swollen and stiff, she managed to thread herself back into her sling.

  Awkwardly, with her right hand, she sent a series of Don’t forget …! texts to various members of the Middletones then ran upstairs, where Carola did her hair for her, talking about the day to come as she brushed the long blonde tresses and deftly wove them into a French plait, all the while shouting up the stairs to Charlotte and Emily that they’d better get up now and one of them could use the shower in the en suite to save time. Sitting meekly as her hair was done, Lily felt like Carola’s third child.

  Granola was all they had time for for breakfast then Lily and Carola hopped into Carola’s car and they drove to The Three Fishes where Isaac waited outside, his breath hanging in a white cloud before his face and frost twinkling around him.

  ‘Morning,’ he said, sliding into the back seat. ‘Yes, Lily, I’ve got my driving licence and I’ve also sent a scanned copy to the insurance company email address you gave me, yes, my packing is done, and yes, Doggo will be ready when we come back for him.’

  Lily giggled. ‘Sorry about all the texts. I just wanted to be sure.’

  Carola whizzed the car out of the car park, up Main Road into Great Park Street and a mile up Port Road to Acting Instrumental, nosing the vehicle slowly under the black arch and up the drive because students were arriving already.

  Don came out and as Isaac had confirmed he’d driven a comparably sized vehicle before, talked him through the minibus handover and helped scrape the ice from the windscreen while Carola turned her car round and spun off home where the Middletones were to assemble. Lily, pacing up and down by the hulk of the minibus, waited in the insurance company telephone queue. Finally she got to speak to an actual person, the formalities were completed and Isaac held the door while Lily scrambled awkwardly into the front passenger seat.

  He ran around the big vehicle and hopped up behind the wheel. ‘Wagons roll!’ He lifted a hand to thank Don and grinned at Lily. They swung by The Three Fishes – pausing in the car park long enough for a few kisses while nobody was looking – to pick up a bouncing and excited Doggo and his and Isaac’s things. Isaac hefted Doggo’s crate into the back of the bus and got Doggo into it and they rumbled up outside Carola’s house in the white minibus at eight forty-five.

  Carola, Charlotte, Emily, Neil, Eddie, Warwick and Alfie were scuffing about on the drive, shoulders hunched against the cold, suitcases lined up ready. While the excited teens tried to talk over each other, Neil and Isaac began slotting suitcases into the luggage compartment with Carola advising.

  Franciszka puffed up, towing a suitcase and beaming. She picked her seat in the minibus, which proved the cue for the teenagers to all clamber in too. From his crate, Doggo wo
ofed as if to tell the luggage handlers to hurry up. Lily stuck her head inside the minibus. ‘Everyone got their passports?’

  ‘Mum’s already checked like twenty-five times,’ Charlotte grumbled.

  ‘Check twenty-six then,’ said Lily good-humouredly and grinned as passports were dragged out of pockets and waved.

  Another few minutes and the suitcases were stacked on and around Doggo’s crate and Isaac fastened the straps that would prevent the luggage mountain shifting.

  As Lily was in charge of itinerary and paperwork she got in the front seat beside Isaac with Carola on her other side. Isaac set the sat nav for Folkestone, called, ‘OK, everyone?’ Receiving loud agreement he shoved the minibus into first gear and drove out of Carola’s drive.

  Lily breathed a long sigh of relief. ‘Phew! More or less on schedule too. Aaaand … relax!’

  Carola gave a small smile.

  ‘I said “relax”,’ Lily pointed out. ‘That means you can smile properly too.’

  With a nod and a barely perceptible widening of her smile, Carola turned to gaze out of the window at the frosty village.

  With her left hand in the sling, Lily couldn’t reach to pat Carola’s arm sympathetically but she knew Owen’s puzzling silence was eating her friend. In contrast to Carola’s reticence, the babble from the back of the bus provided a wall of sound under cover of which Lily could dip her head closer to Carola’s and say, ‘Not heard from him?’

  Carola shook her head. When she turned back to Carola her pale blue eyes were sad but she’d arranged the corners of her mouth in an approximation of a smile. ‘Don’t worry. The Middletones are on their way!’ But she turned again to gaze out of the window as they drove up the lanes, through Bettsbrough, through the centre so they could pass beneath the Christmas lights: white and ice blue snowflakes this year.

  Lily was very conscious of Isaac a few inches away in the driver’s seat, his gaze moving between the road ahead and his mirrors as he guided the big vehicle through the traffic. Evidently feeling her gaze he turned and sent her a smile that shot through her like a flame.

  ‘How’s the hand?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m trying not to think about it too much.’ Gingerly, she tried to flex her purple-banana fingers. ‘It’s not appreciating the jostling but I can put up with it.’

  Whatever Isaac had intended to reply was interrupted when his phone rang. He’d paired it with the Bluetooth system before they set out in case of calls from Tina or Tubb with pub-related queries. After a quick glance down at the screen he pressed the phone answer button. ‘Hi, Mum.’

  A woman’s voice floated from the vehicle’s speaker. ‘Hello, Isaac. Dad and I just received a parcel and it contained two lovely new coats from you. Thank you so much! You shouldn’t have spent so much money on us but they are lovely and so warm.’

  Isaac flushed. ‘You’re welcome.’ He slowed down for a lumbering lorry that pulled out in front of him. ‘They’re for Christmas really but it seemed stupid to hang on to them when it’s cold now.’

  Lily felt a little melty sensation in her chest at Isaac doing something nice for his parents and everyone else seemed to feel the same judging by the chorus of ‘Awwwww …’ from the body of the bus.

  With a self-conscious cough, Isaac added, ‘Um, Mum, I should mention I’m in a minibus heading for France and Switzerland so you’re on speaker. The trip came up so quickly that yesterday was crazy and I didn’t have a chance to tell you where I was going.’

  ‘Oh.’ Lily heard the disappointment in the single syllable. ‘So you’re already on your way to your courses, then? Aren’t you needed at that little pub any more? Won’t we see you for Christmas? Or are you coming back for that?’ The hope in the last few words was plain.

  Lily was pretty sure Isaac had to swallow before he answered. ‘I’m not on my way to my instructor courses.’ He quickly explained about the Middletones trip. ‘And I’m definitely going to be at the pub for Christmas Day. But the good news is that the owner, Mr Tubb, has asked me to invite you and Dad for Christmas lunch on the house. Will you come? It would make a nice change, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘Oh!’ This time the syllable rang with pleasure. ‘How nice of Mr Tubb. Thank you, Isaac! Let me talk to Dad about it but I’m sure we’ll come.’

  Lily’s eyes actually burned at Isaac’s mum’s pleasure.

  Isaac ended the call looking slightly embarrassed, especially when Charlotte called from the back, ‘Who’s mummy’s good ickle boy then?’

  Everyone laughed but one of the lads called, ‘Good on you, Isaac,’ and Lily knew that nobody could overhear that conversation and not be touched.

  The interchange brought her own mum’s trials sharply to her mind. Roma had told Lily to ‘just let us get on with our own disasters, darling,’ but Lily was still having trouble taking in the fact that her parents’ relationship, volatile as it had been from time to time, was in tatters. Patsie had feelings for another woman. Lily had to admit to herself that if either of her mothers had strayed she would have put money on it being Roma rather than Patsie … She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, hoping this wasn’t some long-delayed tit-for-tat over the affair Roma had had with Marvin, stirred up again by Lily wanting to know her half-brothers.

  With everything that had happened since Saturday evening she’d hardly had time to absorb the magnitude of the disaster of her parents splitting up, but sitting here as the miles passed beneath their wheels was providing her with plenty of time to think. And it hurt. Were you ever too old not to mind when this happened? she wondered. If you were, she hadn’t reached that age yet because despite the happy atmosphere and the bursts of ‘Frosty the Snowman’ currently emanating from behind her, sadness weighed her down.

  She put up her good hand to cradle the injured one, which seemed to be pounding in slow, heavy beats, just like her heart.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Isaac asked in a low voice.

  Lily blinked. ‘I need my painkillers.’

  Isaac flicked on the indicator. ‘Here are the services so you can get a cuppa to go with them.’

  After they’d pulled into the service station and climbed out Lily called, ‘Back at the minibus in fifteen minutes, please! Buy your lunch if you haven’t brought it with you because we won’t necessarily stop again before we get the train.’ They’d been on the road about an hour and a half and even if their journey continued to be trouble-free it would be a similar length of time before they reached the Eurotunnel terminal in Folkestone.

  Carola checked that her daughters were OK and then fell in behind them as they made for the service station building. Lily hooked her backpack awkwardly over her right shoulder but Isaac promptly took it from her. ‘Are you going to manage?’ His eyes looked particularly dark in the hard winter sunlight.

  She let her good hand brush against his. His skin was warm, despite the temperatures that had her zipping up her coat. ‘I’ll be fine when I’ve had my pills.’ She found herself flinching as a tide of fellow motorists pushed their way through the doors and Isaac stepped to her left side to make himself into a human shield for her throbbing hand. She used the Ladies, just about able to manage alone because of the ski pants, emerging to find Isaac waiting in the corridor outside. They grabbed coffee and sandwiches and made their way back to the minibus, weaving through the constant coming-and-going traffic in the car park.

  Carola was back before them, sitting by the window and sipping tea. She hopped out to let Lily back in between herself and Isaac, then got Lily’s codeine out of the pocket of her backpack and popped two pills to take with two paracetamol before relapsing into silence again. Isaac got Doggo out of his crate and escorted him to a nearby patch of grass. The rest of the party returned in twos and threes, chattering and laughing, the teenagers in a group, Neil and Franciszka bringing up the rear. Isaac put Doggo back in his crate. Neil called, ‘All present and correct,’ and soon they were rolling again.

  Once she’d finished her coffee, the combination
of a broken night and codeine caused Lily to sleep almost the whole way around the M25 and down the M20 to Folkestone Eurotunnel terminal. She blinked awake as Carola said her name softly. ‘We need the paperwork now, Lily.’ Then, with a return to something nearer her usual efficient persona, ‘Neil, can you collect the passports from everyone in the back and pass them forward, please?’

  Passage onto the Eurotunnel le Shuttle was ridiculously easy, Lily thought, fumbling to give Isaac everything to pass to the woman in the border control kiosk. She hadn’t used le Shuttle since returning from Barcelona two years before. It felt like a lifetime ago. Isaac was relaxed, handing over ten passports (Doggo’s wasn’t required at this point) and answering questions about their trip. Despite all the anxieties of Saturday evening and running around like headless chickens on Sunday, and despite leaving home a little late, they’d made the train. They were directed to the single-deck taller-vehicles section and Isaac drove carefully on board. The train differed from passenger versions in that it had fewer windows, more lights and no seats.

  They followed a people carrier with skis on top until they were directed to stop.

  ‘Handbrake on, engine off, windows open,’ Isaac said, suiting his deeds to his words.

  ‘I’d forgotten about opening the windows because of the pressure.’ Lily still felt fuddled by sleep and was glad that driving onto the train was easy compared with the long queues at check-in and security whenever she’d travelled by air.

  The excited chatter in the back grew louder because not many of them had travelled through the tunnel before. Doors closed to form their carriage and safety messages were broadcast in English and then French. Neil led an expedition to find the toilets. Isaac gave Doggo a drink of water and a Bonio to gnaw as they were last vehicle in their carriage so he could get to the rear doors of the minibus.

  The train was rumbling along and in the tunnel before Lily quite realised. Apart from visiting the facilities – which were tastefully wallpapered with a picture of a lavender field – she sat in her seat and ate her chicken sandwich. It barely seemed as if they were travelling at all, apart from a slight popping of the ears. She spent the rest of the time trying to curl and uncurl her hand to keep it moving and turning in her seat to peep through the headrest and chat to Neil and Franciszka in the seat behind.