Let It Snow

by Sue Moorcroft

  It was much easier to beam at Zinnia and George. ‘Have a fantastic Christmas and look after that baby. Next Christmas will be so different, won’t it?’

  Finally, the emotional stuff was over and she hurried out to her car. Then suddenly Zinnia was beside her, hugging herself against the December wind because she’d come out without her coat. ‘Are you OK, Lily?’

  ‘Of course!’ Lily made wide eyes of surprise and an even wider smile of absolute-fineness.

  Zinnia hopped from foot to foot to keep warm. ‘What about your brothers?’

  Lily fished her keys from her bag. ‘I’ve spoken to them both. We’re being civilised.’

  Doubtfully, Zinnia replied, ‘Oh. And I kept meaning to ask you – did anything ever happen with your hot boss?’

  Wanting suddenly to cry, Lily unlocked her car. ‘Should it have?’ Then she winked and hopped in, starting the car and driving away while Zinnia stared after her. She was too fragile for that conversation. After Christmas, after New Year, when Lily had decided what to do next, she might confide in Zinnia about what happened in Switzerland.

  Sunday evening was pretty busy in the pub. Lots of villagers had booked in for dinner and the Christmas lights twinkled above full tables and a busy bar. Isaac asked her into the kitchen with him and Chef to run over the final plans for Christmas Day lunch.

  Lily confirmed her dessert plans. ‘Christmas pud, chocolate mousse and gingerbread people.’

  ‘Everything’s on the order to arrive tomorrow morning,’ Chef said, fixing Lily with a mock ferocious glare. ‘And you clean up my kitchen when you’ve finished, right?’

  Lily rolled her eyes. ‘I notice you didn’t say that to Isaac. He’s going to be cooking the mains.’

  ‘I hoped you’d be helping,’ interrupted Isaac in an apprehensive voice. ‘My cooking’s OK but I’ve never catered for this many in one go.’

  ‘If you’re lucky,’ she joked. It relaxed her for them to have a normal conversation, even if it was work-related. The Christmas Day schedule in hand, she went back to serve at the bar with Flora. It might be a different kind of Christmas Day but it wouldn’t be too bad. She could spend the morning in the kitchen with Isaac. Good? Or bad? There would be several people she knew at the lunch, including Gabe, Don from Acting Instrumental and his wife, Melanie from the shop and a few other locals, and Isaac’s family were coming too. And Hayley, of course, as her Christmas plans had been with the same friends who were away on a family emergency. Later, Lily could veg in front of Christmas TV eating marzipan fruits and drinking fizz.

  What happened a couple of hours later wasn’t eavesdropping because Lily was in the back taking cutlery out of the washer and rolling it into napkins when Isaac came to sit in the alcove, opening his laptop. He didn’t ask her to give him a minute so she continued, aware of him but keeping her attention on her work.

  Then there was a be boop from the computer and Isaac said, ‘Hi, Tubb.’

  Surprised, Lily glanced up and caught a glimpse of her brother, looking round-faced as people tended to on-screen.

  Without preamble, Tubb asked Isaac if he’d take the pub on permanently. ‘The freehold’s available if you want it,’ he sighed wistfully. ‘Or you could manage it for me on a profit-share basis. I’ll be in the UK for my appointment with my consultant in January, maybe even back for good, but I don’t think my health’s ever going to allow me to return to The Three Fishes full-time.’

  Lily found she was holding her breath. A part of her was registering with dismay that Tubb having to admit his heart condition wasn’t going to go away but the largest part wanted to know …

  Would Isaac say yes?

  But Isaac, without even a tiny pause to consider, replied, ‘I’m really grateful for the opportunity but I’m definitely getting out of the hospitality business. You shouldn’t have any trouble selling. It’s a great pub with a guaranteed clientele as the only one in the village. I can stick around for a bit while you get someone else or put it on the market but my decision’s made regarding my career change.’

  OK. Lily knew that. She’d always known. There was no reason for her fingers to shake while she rolled a knife, fork and spoon into a paper napkin and stacked it with the others. No reason for a slow, leaching disappointment that turned her evening grey.

  Then Flora called through, ‘Lily, are you free to serve?’

  Lily called back, ‘Coming,’ and strode perfectly normally to where Flora was grappling with a rush of thirsty people. Lily smiled and took orders and gave no indication of inner emptiness.

  Monday morning and Lily felt distinctly Monday morningish. ‘Crap,’ she said dismally at the contents of her inbox.

  One of the two exhibitors she thought she’d be working with for the London Book Fair had decided they now couldn’t attend owing to the fabled unforeseen circumstances. They understood if she felt herself unable to return the retainer already paid. Sparks of anger whirling inside her she typed, RETAINer means I get to keep it if you welch! Then, feeling slightly better after she’d added a few swearwords she deleted everything and replied courteously that she understood the situation and did intend to keep the retainer as originally agreed.

  With a sinking sensation her eye fell on an email from the other company she was supposed to be working with. Opening it, she discovered a belated attempt to beat her down on the price already negotiated. After staring at phrases such as uncomfortable task and no choice but and as no agreement has actually been signed she politely reversed out of the relationship and wished them well.

  Her order book was now officially empty.

  Her stab at running her own business had failed.

  Not a single one of her recent pitches had borne fruit, and she was realising too late that she hadn’t put enough effort into pitching for work in the months preceding the trip to Switzerland.

  Failure was her pay-off.

  At least she could go all out to find safe employment, maybe apply for that job with the awesome Asian chain of hotels and enjoy the travel. She drummed her fingers. Or, after Christmas, she could ring Garrick and arrange to go to Switzerland to meet Los. It still seemed unreal but Garrick had sounded as if it were a virtually nailed-on offer until she’d hesitated because of Tubb’s chilliness towards her.

  Her mind strayed to her eldest half-brother. What if Tubb came back? Just because he was giving up the pub didn’t mean he and Janice wouldn’t live in Middledip. Janice had a house on this very estate. It was rented out right now because last year she’d moved into the pub with Tubb but they could make it their home. His return could be uncomfortable for Lily.

  Part of her reason to stay here had been him. Now it was him making her wonder whether she should leave. Yet, unthinkable as Middledip was without Tubb, if he stayed in Switzerland near his brother and Janice’s son … that could be the uncomfortable place to be.

  The obvious thing would be to start again somewhere that was neither Middledip nor Schützenberg. Isaac was leaving the village but it kept crossing her mind that if there was still something between them when Hayley didn’t need him any more they might be able to arrange their lives in such a way that they could carry on a relationship. In the right circumstances, she could live anywhere.

  Ever more confused and undecided, she’d just found and reread the job description for the hotel chain and opened up the application form when Carola called in wearing a hunted expression. ‘Bloody Duncan!’ she complained. ‘I’m sure he’s getting the girls to work on me to invite him for Christmas Day. Bastard,’ she groaned. ‘He didn’t give a hoot about me being on my own last year when he was all loved up with Sherri and had the girls for Christmas but now they’re making me feel like a monster.’

  ‘Isn’t he spending Christmas with his brother?’ Lily got up to fetch biscuits because it seemed like their restorative powers might be needed.

  ‘They’re going away to her family, apparently.’ Carola sighed. ‘Maybe I’ll invite him in the evening when Owen
goes off to spend a couple of hours with his mum.’ She brightened. ‘Are you sure you won’t come too?’

  ‘It’s really sweet of you but I’d rather just veg out after the Christmas lunch,’ Lily said quickly. She’d told Carola her plans had fallen through but had already decided that if she couldn’t be with her family she’d be happier alone, even before she knew about the addition of Duncan to the festivities.

  Carola glanced around the room as if for the first time, as she selected a bourbon biscuit. ‘Why don’t you have any Christmas decorations?’

  ‘When you work with the lights and tinsel at the pub all the time it’s quite restful not to have them,’ Lily invented glibly. In fact she simply hadn’t felt like getting her box of decorations out of the cupboard.

  They chatted, Lily making coffee to go with the biscuits. Carola had just left, fortified by half a packet of bourbons, when Lily’s FaceTime alert sounded and she saw Garrick calling on her laptop screen and connected the call. Shock shivered through her as she saw not only Garrick waiting to talk to her but Tubb. Frowning.

  ‘Hi,’ she said steadily, frowning back.

  Garrick greeted her genially enough but Tubb’s frown just grew blacker and he wasted no time in stating the source of his annoyance. ‘Garrick says you’re dubious about taking a role at British Country Foods because of me. I can’t have you missing the chance of a good job if you want it. I don’t even know whether I’m going to stay in Switzerland. At least come and talk to Los.’

  She hesitated. This should solve everything. If she wanted the job … Did she? She ought to want it. She’d loved Switzerland, BCF was a great company and she felt as if she’d like the work. Until recently staying in the village had been a prime aim but the roots she’d thought she was putting down in Middledip were shrivelling. It was just …

  Just Isaac.

  Garrick, looking more relaxed than Tubb, eased into the conversation. ‘What our dear brother means is he’d like to see you again and mend bridges and if you won’t come about the job he might actually have to take the initiative.’

  Lily was dumbfounded at this unexpected turn of events. ‘Mend bridges?’

  Tubb scowled at Garrick. ‘I would like to mend bridges,’ he admitted gruffly. ‘I’m sorry, Lily. I’ve been judgemental. Worse, I’ve judged you for things that aren’t even your fault. I don’t want to leave things badly between us. Los says you can stay in the annexe again. Will you come to Switzerland and talk to him? We’ve got feet of snow now so it would be fun.’

  Garrick chimed in about how great it was to live and work in Switzerland ending with, ‘I won’t hound you for an answer until after Christmas, as we agreed, but I do hope you’ll give the idea proper consideration.’

  Lily ended the call feeling dazed and having agreed to think about going out to Schützenberg again. She needed a job and this one was falling in her lap so it would be stupid to reject it out of hand. More than that, Tubb was extending the olive branch and had seemed his usual quirky but easy-going self.

  Her heart twisted at the idea of staying in Los’s annexe without Isaac though.

  Moving to another country without Isaac. Living without Isaac.

  Almost before she knew what she was doing, acting on blind impulse, she dialled his number.

  Heart galloping around her chest, she listened to the ringing tone. She’d ask to meet him away from the pub. Talk about his plans. Get an update on the Hayley situation.

  The call connected but instead of Isaac’s deep, measured tones she heard female, breathless, wobbly ones. ‘Lily? This is Hayley. I’m sorry. Isaac’s left his phone with me because I’ve dropped mine and it’s stopped working. I’m waiting for an important call from the hospital.’

  All the awkwardness she’d felt about Hayley flooded back over Lily. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll—’

  Hayley ploughed on. ‘I’m really, really sorry,’ she sniffed. ‘I know I’m getting in your way but everything’s gone wrong today. The histology …’ Her words strangled and she began to cry.

  Helpless, horrified, Lily listened to ‘not what we were expecting … can’t bear it to go on … hospital again’ garbled by sobs. Then Isaac came on the line.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, also sounding out of breath. ‘Sorry, I was in the kitchen. I’m afraid Hayley’s emotional.’

  Lily swallowed hard and mumbled over her thumping heart, ‘If you need this line clear for the hospital to ring, I’ll go.’ How had she forgotten about Hayley getting her results today? And her tears … the news must have been bad.

  ‘Sorry,’ Isaac said ruefully. ‘I’ve got to take her back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon but— Oh, shit! I’ve got the call-waiting beep.’

  ‘I’ll go,’ she gabbled. ‘Hope everything goes as well as it can.’ Feeling sick she ended the call and wiped her sweaty hands down her jeans. Back to the hospital? After the results? Immediately before Christmas? That could not be good.

  What must it be like to be Hayley right now? And just when nearly everyone else was jumping into the two or three days of almost mandatory fun of the festive season.

  Lily paced up to the French doors and stared out into the wintry garden where the grass was flattened by rain and the sky looked like lead, almost exactly matching her feelings. She could hardly believe that a few minutes ago she’d been so self-centred as to think even for an instant that it was OK to check, for her own ends, what Isaac’s chances were of finally disentangling himself from his ex-girlfriend.

  I’ve got to take Hayley back to the hospital. Hayley wasn’t at the end of her nightmare but in the middle of it. Isaac wasn’t the kind of man to abandon her when she had no one else and, more importantly, Lily wouldn’t want him to.

  Hand shaking, she drank a glass of water to ease the tightness in her throat while she reviewed her life. She’d had three internships after uni and then a couple of jobs before she left to go to Spain with Sergio. There, she’d tried not to be funnelled into his family business but her design work had inevitably become part-time. When she returned to the UK she’d been sidetracked by coming to Middledip in search of Tubb and had failed to give what she grandly called ‘her business’ the attention it needed.

  Her heart might be in pieces but it was time for her to grow. Grow up. Stop waiting around for something good to happen. To take control. And right in the palm of her hand was a chance to take a giant career stride at the same time as forging some kind of relationship with her brothers.

  She rang Garrick and as soon as he picked up the phone blurted, ‘I don’t need to wait until after Christmas to decide. I’d like to meet with Los.’

  ‘Excellent!’ he boomed. ‘When?’

  Her thought processes hadn’t taken her that far. ‘Erm … When would be good for you?’

  ‘As soon as you can,’ he returned promptly. ‘Come out and have some family time – wow, how weird is it to say that? – meet with Los, spend a day or two at our offices, explore the area and meet with HR. They have a whole relocation programme and can guide you through everything you’ll need to know when considering whether you want to make the step.’

  Shakily, she laughed. ‘Shall I hop on a plane now?’

  A hesitation, then his voice softened. ‘Lily, tell me if I’m out of order, but how about you do that? Janice has been talking to Carola and we know your mums and your sister aren’t around this Christmas. When we last saw each other it ended badly but we’d like to make it up to you.’

  ‘Erm,’ she said again, rocked at the idea of doing something so crazy at no notice. ‘But I’m supposed to make the desserts for the pub lunch on Christmas Day. And I’d never get flights or get my car booked on Eurotunnel or a ferry. Would I? I’ve never tried to travel at Christmas,’ she finished doubtfully.

  ‘Surely someone else can do the desserts?’ Garrick sounded impatient and all-business. ‘If I’m able to get you booked? My assistant’s a whizz at that kind of thing.’

  ‘Oh … well …’ Lily thought about it.
What she’d be missing was Christmas morning in the pub kitchen with Isaac – so near and yet so far once again – and lunch with whichever villagers had booked. Then she’d spend the rest of Christmas alone apart from working at the pub on the evening of Boxing Day. ‘Yes,’ she said recklessly. ‘If you can do it, then do it.’ With a feeling of unreality, she gave him her passport details.

  In twenty minutes he called back to tell her she was booked on the 18.50 out of Birmingham airport tomorrow, Christmas Eve, and that he or Tubb would meet her at the airport. ‘We’ll have the key to Los’s annexe but Harry and Janice say why not stay with them? They can easily put Dugal and Keir into one bedroom and you can have the other. They’d love you to share their Christmas and Los will have his own plans.’

  ‘Really? If they’re sure it won’t be too much trouble,’ Lily said, feeling pleased to be wanted as a houseguest. Tubb was family.

  ‘We Brits will stick to exchanging our gifts on Christmas Day rather than join the Swiss doing it on the evening of Heiligabend, which is Christmas Eve. On Boxing Day – St Stephen’s Day here – Los and Tanja have invited us all for fondue. Then you’ll have your meeting with Los and other key staff on the 27th, Friday. If that goes well, the day in the office and meeting with HR will come on Monday the 30th. Then we can book you on a return flight whenever you want but you’re welcome to stay longer. You might want to go hunting for somewhere to live,’ he added tantalisingly.

  ‘Phew.’ Lily felt almost overwhelmed. But she needed a job, Switzerland looked a fantastic place to live, and her reasons for staying in the village were shrinking. She even had a moment to conjecture that if she left, Duncan could move into her apartment until he got himself sorted out. With a long slow breath in to steady herself she said, ‘That all sounds fantastic. I can’t wait.’

  When the call was over she sat back, mind in a whirl. It was happening. She was going back to Switzerland to investigate a new life. After another cup of coffee and more biscuits to calm herself down she called her mums and sister to tell them where she’d be, getting quite excited as she explained. Then she raced off to brave the shops to buy small Christmas gifts that would go in her case for Tubb and Garrick and everyone because she couldn’t possibly turn up empty-handed.