Maybe he should give up on women entirely. Except he didn’t really have that option now, not if Elizabeth was his. He had to find Jessica and discover the truth. If he was Elizabeth’s father, then he’d talk Jessica into marrying him. He’d had to grow up without both parents around, but he’d be damned if his kid would go through the same thing.
He slid back the bolt and opened the heavy barn door. Instead of turning on a light and getting the horses agitated, he whistled softly for Fleafarm in the darkness.
Tags jingling, she trotted toward him and shoved her wet muzzle in his hand.
“Come on, girl. You’ve been sprung.” He held the door open for the dog, then closed it securely after her. Fleafarm was of mixed ancestry. She had the rusty coat of a setter, four white socks and a temperament that hinted of a Border collie lurking somewhere in her background, and the body composition of a retriever.
Sebastian had found her wandering on the road, bedraggled and pregnant, eight years ago. Barbara’s impulsive nickname had stuck, but Sebastian often wished he’d insisted on a more flattering handle for the animal. Fleafarm was one great dog.
She glanced back at him as if asking for permission to go into the house. With a stab of guilt, he realized Matty had been right. The dog had thought she was being punished.
“Go on. It’s okay.”
With a little whine of delight, Fleafarm bounded up to the back door and stood there wagging her plume of a tail, her breath making clouds in the cold air. Sebastian felt like a total heel.
And he felt damned cold, too. The warmth of the house wrapped around him like an embrace when he went into the kitchen with Fleafarm. He rubbed his hands together and blew into them.
From the dining room came the sound of Elizabeth fretting. She wasn’t crying, thank God, just fussing. Fleafarm stopped dead in her tracks and lifted her floppy ears.
“It’s a baby.” Sebastian hung his hat on a peg by the door and laid a hand on the dog’s head. “Don’t reckon you’ve ever been around one.”
Fleafarm gave a sharp little bark and advanced slowly toward the sound that obviously fascinated her.
“Hey, Fleafarm!” Matty called. “Come and say hello to Elizabeth.”
The dog moved warily into the dining room. Then she cocked her head and gazed at Matty sitting in a dining room chair, Elizabeth cradled in her arms.
Sebastian had a moment of uneasiness as the dog drew closer. “Do you think it’s okay?”
“I think it’s essential. You want Fleafarm to be protective of her, don’t you?”
He hadn’t gotten that far in his thinking. “Does it matter? Elizabeth might only be here a few days.”
“She might.” Matty glanced at him. “Or she might be here a whole lot longer. Unless Jessica mentioned a specific time frame for this caper?”
“Not exactly. The note only said she wanted me to be a godfather to Elizabeth until she could return for her.”
“Which leaves this operation completely open-ended. You’d better prepare yourself for more than a few days. I’m not sure you realize yet that your life has just been turned upside down.”
“Oh, it’s beginning to sink in.”
“Good. Facing reality is admirable.” Matty watched the dog edge closer. “It’s okay, Fleafarm. You’ve been a mommy, so you know about babies. This is like a puppy, only bigger. And less hair.” She glanced up at Sebastian. “Maybe you should come on over here and pet Fleafarm while she gets used to the idea of this baby. We don’t want jealousy getting in the way of bonding. And we don’t want Fleafarm to slobber over Elizabeth and scare her to death.”
Sebastian walked over and scratched the dog behind her ears. Then he crouched down and wrapped an arm around the silky neck, restraining her gently. The dog’s coat was cold, and Sebastian was still shivering from his jaunt outside, but he worked to control it so Matty wouldn’t have cause to say she told him so.
He turned to the dog. “You wouldn’t be jealous of that little baby, would you Fleafarm?”
She whined and licked his face.
“Oh, yes, she would,” Matty said. “But if you make sure she knows you still love her, she’ll probably guard this baby with her life. At least that’s the way it worked with my nieces and nephews and the dogs they had. You have to make sure you don’t appear to be giving more attention to Elizabeth than you do to Fleafarm.”
“This sure is getting complicated.”
Matty looked into his eyes. “You still have a choice.”
He gazed back at her. “No, I don’t.”
Elizabeth made a soft, cooing sound, like a dove on a summer morning.
Sebastian glanced at the baby in surprise and pleasure. Now there was a noise he could grow fond of.
Elizabeth stared at the dog and her little fists waved in the air. For the first time Sebastian admitted she was sort of cute, with her fuzzy crop of light-colored hair and round baby face. She cooed again.
Fleafarm whined and wagged her tail.
“Love at first sight,” Matty pronounced.
“No such thing,” Sebastian said. He wasn’t even sure what love was, period. He’d thought he was in love with Barbara, but she hadn’t been in love with him, at least not for very long—and certainly not when she was carrying on with Butch for all those years.
“Maybe love at first sight is rare for people, but for dogs and kids, it happens all the time.” Matty leaned down and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. “Well, I think that’s enough dog-baby communication for the time being.” She picked up Elizabeth and cradled her against her shoulder. Then she turned her face toward the baby and gave her another kiss. “We can work on it later, okay, sweetheart? Right now I know a little girl who needs her diaper changed.”
“I was hoping you’d done it while I was out getting the dog.”
Matty grinned. “I’m sure you were. You’d better go wash your hands, and use hot water to warm them up. No lady likes to be touched with cold hands.”
Damned if that comment didn’t get him to thinking of touching Matty, which he’d done before, but only as a friend. Now he was wondering how it would be to touch her like a lover.
She’d said Fleafarm might be jealous of the attention the baby was getting. Well, Sebastian found himself mighty jealous of the way Matty was cuddling Elizabeth, giving her kisses and nuzzling her. He’d never known Matty to be so openly affectionate, but then he’d never seen her with a baby, either.
He wondered if she’d been playful and snuggly with Butch when the two of them had been alone. If she had been that open and vulnerable, his heart ached for her, because she’d been married to a faithless man.
“Oh, don’t scowl like that.” Matty laughed. “I doubt if changing a diaper is going to be any worse than mucking out a stall.”
“Says you, the person who has no more experience than I have.” He wiped the frown off his face and was glad she’d misinterpreted it. Pushing himself to his feet, he clucked to Fleafarm and got her settled under the table, one of her favorite spots.
“Don’t worry,” Matty said. “You’ll be a diapering fool in no time.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
She gazed at him. “Are you worried that you’ll ruin your macho reputation with the guys?”
He grimaced, and her soft laughter taunted him as he headed into the kitchen to wash up. To be honest, he hadn’t thought of himself as doing this sort of chore if he ever became a parent.
With her usual dexterity, Matty had exposed another uncomfortable truth about Sebastian Daniels. Whenever he’d imagined being a father, he’d sort of skipped the baby stage in his mind. He’d pictured buying the kid a pony, helping with homework, flying kites. He hadn’t pictured changing diapers. Apparently he’d unconsciously assigned baby care to the mother. Not very enlightened.
Well, Matty wouldn’t let him get away with being unenlightened. He smiled as he soaped up and ran warm water over his chilled hands. Matty wouldn’t let him get away with a dam
n thing. He realized he’d always counted on her to tell him the truth, and at the moment he needed the truth more than anything else. He needed Matty. Thank God she’d offered to help him.
They hadn’t figured out any details yet, though. This little bundle of joy would need looking after twenty-four hours a day, and he’d feel much better if both of them were on hand, at least at first. He wondered if Matty would consider staying over until they’d established some workable routine.
Yeah, that was the answer. The three of them needed to stick together for a while. They could all drive over to Matty’s place and do her feeding and chores, then come back here and do his. This time of year the main job was making sure fences were ready for the yearlings they’d buy in May. His fences were in decent shape, and he could help Matty with hers if she needed some repairs done. In fact, it’d be sort of fun having Matty around all the time. He began to whistle under his breath.
IN THE DINING ROOM, Matty laid Elizabeth on the changing pad. Sebastian’s tuneless whistle drifted in from the kitchen, teasing her nerve endings. She was beginning to question the wisdom of her impulsive offer. Only one course of action made sense, for her to stay over at the Rocking D until they came up with a regular schedule for the baby.
On the surface it wasn’t a difficult proposition. Getting the work done on both ranches wouldn’t be a problem. Until they bought the cattle in May, they only had to fix fences and take care of the horses. Her dog Sadie got along fine with Fleafarm. Sebastian had a spare bedroom.
But every time Matty thought of sleeping here, of sharing every meal and every waking hour with Sebastian, her stomach churned. With that much togetherness, he would eventually figure out that she had a huge, incurable crush on him.
For years, she’d hidden it successfully behind a tough ranch-woman facade, but caring for this tiny baby would make that a hard act to maintain. Already she’d felt unexpected longings as she cradled the helpless infant in her arms. Maybe the reason she’d refused to take care of her nieces and nephews when they were babies was that she’d subconsciously known it would be a painful reminder that she had no babies of her own.
Sebastian came into the dining room, his hands held high as if he’d scrubbed for surgery. “My gown, nurse.”
As she gazed at his strong, hair-sprinkled forearms and capable hands, hands she’d dreamed would someday touch her with tenderness, funny things happened to her heart. “Smart aleck,” she said, and grinned because he expected that. But she was so afraid everything she was feeling shone in her eyes that she glanced away. “Come on over here and take hold of this kid so I can start reading up on how we accomplish this. We don’t want her falling on the floor when we’re not paying attention.”
“Oh, God.” He blanched and hurried over to the table. “Maybe we should just do it on the floor so there’s no chance we’ll drop her.” He moved in close, hip-to-hip with Matty.
“Yeah, down there with the dog hair and the bread crumbs. That’d be super.” She put an inch or so of space between them. After the way she’d been thinking a moment ago, body contact wasn’t a good thing. She maintained her sisterly tone of voice with difficulty. “You do a decent job of cleaning for a guy, but I wouldn’t want to put a baby on your floor. The table’s fine if we keep track of her. Here, put your hand on her chest and keep it there while I get the instructions.”
Sebastian settled a tentative hand on Elizabeth, who stared up at him without blinking. “I wonder if she knows that we’re greenhorns at this diapering business?” he said.
“If she doesn’t know now, she will soon enough.” Satisfied that Sebastian had Elizabeth secured on the table, Matty moved away and picked up the typed list of instructions. She had to give Jessica points for thoroughness. She must have been somewhat concerned about the kid to go to all this trouble.
Matty scanned the pages until she found the section on diapering. “Okay, we’ve got her on the changing pad on a flat surface and we’re making sure she doesn’t roll off. Now unsnap the sleeper gizmo so you can take it off the bottom half of her.”
Sebastian started fumbling with the small snaps with his free hand. He blew out a breath. “I can’t do it with one hand. Would it bother your feminist sensibilities to help with this one part?”
“I guess not.” But it played hell with her hormones to move in close enough to smell his citrus aftershave and feel the warmth of his body close beside her. She put down the instructions and concentrated on the snaps as best she could, considering that all she wanted was to snuggle against him and feel those strong arms around her.
“Why does she keep staring at me like that?” he asked.
Because all females do, you lunkhead. You’re gorgeous. “She’s probably trying to figure out who the heck you are.”
“I think she has my eyes.”
“You know what? I’m not so sure.” She didn’t want to believe that Sebastian had made love to Jessica, even if he couldn’t remember the incident. She hurried on with the instructions. “Now you carefully unfasten the tabs on the diaper and slowly take it off, because—” Matty started to giggle.
“Because?” Sebastian prompted.
She spoke around the laughter choking her up. “It says here that you never know what you’re going to find and you need to contain whatever you encounter.” She wiped her eyes and chuckled. “I’ll say this for your Aspen friend. She has a wry sense of humor.”
“Oh, she’s a laugh a minute, dropping babies on doorsteps like this,” he muttered as he worked at the tabs on the diaper. “Can you come over here and put a hand on this little girl while I wrestle with these tab things? I can see right off this is a two-person job.”
Matty did as he requested, which made them very chummy, their bodies bumping against each other, his warm breath on her neck, his elbow nudging her breast. She tried to remain oblivious and failed.
“What’s that perfume you’re wearing?”
“Wh-what?” She couldn’t believe his thoughts had been anywhere near hers.
“What kind is it?”
“I forget the name.” Her heart pounded. “It’s supposed to smell like jasmine. Why?”
“I like it.”
“Oh.” She tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter one way or the other. He was making idle conversation. But what if he wasn’t?
“There, it’s off.” He sighed with relief. “We lucked out. It’s just wet.”
She laughed, feeling giddy from his comment about her cologne. “I don’t think your luck will hold forever on that score, cowboy.”
“Probably not. What’s next?”
She glanced at the set of instructions she’d forgotten she clutched in her hand. “Roll up the diaper and dispose of it later. Then clean her with a baby wipe.”
“Where’s that?”
“Hold onto her.” Matty extricated herself. “I think I saw them in the box.”
“Can you imagine me doing this all by myself? I would have killed her by now.”
She found the baby wipes, pulled one out of the container and handed it to him. “No, you wouldn’t, but it does seem to take both of us to replace one experienced mother.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking.” He leaned over Elizabeth. “Hold still there, little one.”
Watching him tend to the baby with such gentleness made Matty’s throat tighten. He was going to be one hell of a daddy, if it turned out this little bundle belonged to him.
“Matty, do you think you could see your way clear to stick around here for the next few days?” he asked casually, not looking at her as he continued to work on Elizabeth.
Her heartbeat quickened. Although she’d been expecting the request, she wasn’t ready with her answer.
“I know it’ll be a pain in the neck,” he continued, still concentrating on the baby. “But I don’t see how else we can manage this. We can bring Sadie over here, of course, and I’ll help you take care of things at your place. We could drive over a couple of times a day
. If you’ve got fence to mend, I’ll be happy to help you with it.” In the silence, he glanced up at her. “You’re being mighty quiet.”
“I’m thinking.”
A coaxing light came into his gray eyes. “I really need you here, Matty. I’d be petrified to be left alone with this baby right here at the beginning.”
As if she ever could have denied him. When he looked at her like that, she’d give him anything he wanted, including her heart. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll stay over.”
4
MATTY WOULD STAY. Sebastian almost keeled over in relief. The seemingly impossible job of dealing with this baby had been whittled down to a workable size.
“I think Elizabeth’s ready for her diaper,” he said with newfound confidence. He held out his hand. “Lay one on me.”
Matty gave him one from the box. “Go to it.”
Sebastian took the folded diaper and spread it on the table with one hand while he kept the other on Elizabeth’s chest. “Seems easy enough. We’ll just work in reverse. All we have to do is—”
Elizabeth squealed and started to kick and wave her arms.
“Hey!” The diaper slipped from his fingers onto the floor as he grabbed the baby with both hands. “Now is not the time to learn boot-scootin’, Elizabeth!”
The baby stared up at him and gurgled. Then she made that soft little cooing sound he liked so much.
A knot of anxiety loosened inside Sebastian’s gut when he heard the happy little noise, the same one she’d made when she’d seen his dog for the first time. Apparently she could tolerate the idea of having a cowboy like him take care of her. Secretly he’d been worried about that. Just because Jessica had decided to leave the baby with him didn’t mean the baby would like it much.
“I think you’ve made a friend,” Matty said softly.
He was embarrassed by how pleased that made him, so he minimized the significance of it. “Yeah, any friend of Fleafarm’s is a friend of hers.”
As if in response, the dog nudged his leg. Sebastian glanced down to see Fleafarm standing patiently beside him, the fallen diaper held delicately in her mouth.
The Colorado Kid Page 4