Stars On Fire

by E. L. Todd

  When he was on top of me, he kissed me everywhere, starting at the valley between my tits and migrating to my stomach. Down and down he went, moving to my hips and kissing the skin just above my most sensitive area. Then he moved to my inner thighs.

  I knew this was going to be good…so good.

  He pulled his lips away and moved off the bed.

  “I have some in my nightstand.” I opened the drawer and grabbed a pile sitting on top. They were a variety of colors, but their sizes were the same, only their flavors were different. I’d ordered a big box from Amazon because I was too embarrassed to pick up a box at the store like a normal woman.

  His skin was still tinted with arousal, but a slight smile overcame his mouth as he grabbed one off the nightstand. He balanced on the balls of his feet and started to roll it on, getting the latex over his thick crown and rolling it all the way to his base.

  It was fascinating. My thighs squeezed together because watching him sheathe himself was as good as porn. That man could handle himself well, take care of that big package with the utmost care. My thighs started to spread open because I could already imagine how he would fuck me, how he would fulfill me and make up for all the time I’d lost.

  When he was secured, he moved on top of me once more, his chest pressing against mine as his legs hooked behind my knees. He spread me wide and maneuvered his hips between my quivering thighs.

  Then he slid inside me.

  Oh fuck.

  It took him seconds to sink in because he was a big man and I was a little woman. But with every stretch, every slight wince in pain, it felt so damn good. I felt like a young girl giving myself to a man for the first time. My arousal was so strong that it overcame the pain of his intrusion.

  My fingers dug into his hair, and I breathed against his mouth. “Yes…”

  When he was positioned all the way inside me, he locked eyes with me and moaned. “Even a condom can’t mask how good this pussy feels.”

  My hands snaked up his back, and I dug my nails into his skin. Once he started to move, I held on harder, already moaning uncontrollably like I’d never been fucked in my entire life. I used his body as an anchor to pull myself into him, to meet his thrusts with my own. Within minutes, our bodies were drenched in sweat and we fucked like rabbits. He probably got laid all the time, but he was still just as enthused as I was. He made me feel beautiful, made me feel like there was no other woman he would want to be with right now. The sex was purely physical and meaningless.

  But he made it mean something.

  I WAS surprised Neil was still there in the morning.

  Dead asleep and so sexy with that messy hair, he was a living dream. With the blankets bunched around his waist, his perfect chest and sexy abs were visible. He had fair skin with a hint of a tan, the color reminding me of black coffee mixed with a ton of cream.

  I got ready for work and walked out the door with a smile on my face.

  That lay was exactly what I needed.

  It rejuvenated me, reset my clock. It reminded me that men were still good after all—even if it was just for fucking. That man didn’t just make me come once—but twice. Too bad I couldn’t find men like Neil every night at the bars, but that only made him special. Vic said he never had serious girlfriends which boded well for me. Neil could be my fuck buddy as long as he was on Earth. It was the perfect remedy to a long drought, to a lonely night. I had a friend on speed dial who could make all my troubles go away.

  It was perfect.

  When I got to the lab, I put on my white coat and looked at the stacks of samples I had to get through. The night shift must have been slammed, and the previous technician became inundated. After I washed my hands and put on my gloves, I got to work.

  Kyle emerged minutes later, wearing a collared shirt underneath his white jacket. “Morning.”

  “Morning.” I finished my first set of test tubes and typed in the data for the patient charts. Once I was finished, I would dispose of the samples in the biohazard container and start the next batch. My most common lab was testing for white blood cells in patients with infections, but working in a hospital meant I tested anything you could think of. There was always work to do, and sometimes I didn’t even take lunch.

  He sat across from me and got to work. “How’d it go last night?”

  “Good.” I kept adding the information to the computer.

  “Must be better than good if you’re smiling like that.”

  “Smiling like what?” I looked up, feeling my cheeks pull on either side as I grinned.

  Kyle rolled his eyes. “Like that.”

  “I smile all the time.”

  “Yes, but never like a lunatic.”

  After a few hours of work, Kyle and I both took our lunch and went to the cafeteria. The food was usually bland, but it was always dirt cheap. We both got tuna sandwiches and split a bag of chips.

  Kyle was a handsome guy who had offers left and right. Sometimes people assumed I was his girlfriend, and I had to quickly tell them that wasn’t the case. The last thing I wanted to be was a cockblock.

  “It was just a one-time thing, right?” He opened his bottle of iced tea and took a drink.

  “I hope not.” Sex with Neil was better than any shag I’d had with my husband. I wasn’t going to let that go without a fight. “Sex that good doesn’t just fall off trees. If he’s down, I’m down.”

  He ate a couple of chips while his eyes were glued to mine. There seemed to be a million thoughts going on in his head, but he didn’t voice any of them. “I thought the sex we had was pretty good.”

  It was the first time he’d ever mentioned it. We’d slept together a couple of times, but when I felt guilty about using him for the wrong reasons, I ended it. He never tried to start anything again, agreeing we should just be friends. It was such an awkward thing to say that I didn’t even know how to respond. “Yeah…but I wasn’t in the right place to enjoy it at the time.” Sex right after my divorce was painful. All I could think about was the way Cameron left me, the way he turned his back on me when things got rough. I thought fucking someone would help me forget about him, but it only reminded me how much I missed him…even after the terrible thing he did.

  “And you are now?”

  “Well…I’ve been divorced for a long time.”

  “As in, you’re ready for a relationship?”

  “No,” I said with a laugh. “God, no. I just want good sex. I can’t picture myself ever being in a relationship again. They seem to pointless to me now. The only lasting relationships that exist are friendships. Love and passion fade away…just like time and everything else.”

  “I’ve never been in a serious relationship, but I can tell you that’s just not true. If you don’t believe me, look at Stacy and Vic.”

  “They haven’t been married long… Things can change.”

  “But do you think they will?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “No…” I knew they loved each other so much. Vic would never hurt Stacy…never ever.

  “It’ll happen for you, Char. Just with the right guy. Cameron was not the right guy.”

  He’d seemed like the right guy…until everything changed. “I’m still not interested right now. I’m in a good place, and I just want to be happy. Being in a relationship is the last thing that would make me happy right now.”

  “Neil isn’t the guy you want to be in a relationship with anyway.”

  I noticed Kyle never said anything bad about anyone, so for him to say this was odd. “Why? You don’t even know him.”

  “Have you Googled the guy?”

  “Um…no.” I felt weird doing that, getting to know him through someone else’s opinion. All that stuff might not even be true. “Have you?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve heard bits and pieces.”

  “He seems like a stand-up guy to me.” We’d never had a serious conversation. The times we were alone together, we got Slurpees and talked about inconsequential matters. But m
y gut always told me he was a good guy…but my gut had been wrong in the past.

  “I’m sure he is. I was referring to his ambition. The guy is one of the most famous astronauts ever. This guy takes badass to a whole new level. He has been the commander for the International Space Station and the Lunar Labs on the moon.”

  “Then what’s your problem with him?”

  “I never said I had a problem. The guy just isn’t boyfriend material. He’s not husband material. You will never be the most important thing in his life, always second. And Char, you deserve to be the sun of a man’s universe. The only sun in Neil’s universe…is the sun. That’s all I’m saying.”

  I didn’t expect anything from Neil because I’d already made all those assumptions. He had his calling, and nothing would ever change his path in life, not that I expected us to ever have a deep relationship. “Like I said, I just want to have fun. And I think Neil is a lot of fun.”

  “OH MY GOD, I’m still hungover.” Stacy sat across from me at the bar, bags under her eyes like she didn’t get any sleep. Her makeup was perfect like usual, but it couldn’t hide the exhaustion that had crept into her skin. She propped her chin on her closed knuckles and shut her eyes for a few seconds. “I had a meeting today and zoned out the entire time. My job is so damn boring. Sometimes I really consider becoming a stay-at-home mom.”

  “It’s not as easy as it seems, just to warn you.”

  She winced like she regretted the words she’d spat out. She lowered her hand then gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking, and it just came out…”

  “Don’t apologize. I know you would never say anything to hurt me on purpose. You can’t walk on eggshells around me all the time.” I got the waiter’s attention and ordered a margarita. “I think she’ll have a water—”

  “Gin and tonic,” she blurted. “And make it quick.”

  The waiter walked away and left us alone again.

  Stacy straightened in her chair. “And Vic would not let me go to sleep. He was all over me, and it didn’t matter how many times I kicked him away, he was not having it.”

  I smiled. “But you loved it.”

  “I did not.”

  I gave her a knowing look.

  She rolled her eyes. “Okay…I liked it a little bit.”

  “Your husband is in love with you and wants to fuck you. Be happy. Not all women have that.”

  “I know…” She looked apologetic again, like she realized she was being insensitive.

  “Don’t apologize again,” I said with a laugh. “We’ll never move on if you keep looking at me like a victim.”

  “But you are a victim,” she said. “What happened was entirely his fault, not yours. He’s a son of a bitch.”

  Yes, Cameron was every bad word in the book. “I don’t want to waste any more of my time talking about him. He’s not in my life anymore, so we need to stop acknowledging his ghost.” I was finally in a place where he wasn’t on my mind often. I spent my time thinking about friends, work, and now Neil.

  “That’s a great idea,” she said. “So, what should we talk about? Other than my horny husband.”

  “How about who I slept with last night.”

  Her face started to light up and hide her drunk expression. She was genuinely happy for me, basking in my accomplishments when I was winning, and bitching in my corner when I was losing. “Ooh…was it Kyle?”

  “No, we’re just friends,” I said dismissively.

  “But he’s hot and thinks you’re hot.”

  “I already slept with him, and that didn’t go anywhere.”

  “You’d been divorced for, like, a week. You were just in a bad place—”

  “Anyway, it wasn’t him.” The waiter brought our drinks, so I waited until he walked away before I continued. “It was someone tall, handsome, and has been to the moon.”

  Her jaw dropped, and the giddiness in her eyes died away. “Neil?”

  “Yep,” I said proudly. “I got that D and loved every second of it.”

  “I can’t believe you went for it. You aren’t worried about things getting awkward?”

  “Come on, we’re both adults. I just wanted one thing from him, and he only wanted one thing from me. We can still be friends. We can still keep fucking. Whatever happens, I’m fine with it. I promise you, it won’t get weird.”

  “As long as you don’t fall in love with him like all the other girls…”

  It wasn’t hard to imagine a line of beautiful women falling in love with Neil Crimson. Not only was he the dreamiest guy in the galaxy, but he was also the best in bed. Who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of their life with someone like that? But they were all stupid, assuming a man like that would ever settle down. I’d been abandoned before and understood Neil would do the exact same thing. My divorce gave me a sense of wisdom that would guide me in the right direction for the rest of my life. “We don’t have to worry about that. Now that I’m in a good place, I never want things to change. I just want to be happy, be by myself with my dog and my friends.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way, but you don’t need to feel that way forever. Not all relationships last forever…but some do.”

  Yes, Stacy was lucky that she found a man who worshiped her. Not all of us were so lucky. There were a lot of jackasses in the world, and unfortunately, I married one of them. He wasn’t a jackass when he met. Once we hit a bump in the road, it was activated. When things got tough, he didn’t see it through. He left me to take care of myself, to find an easier way out. “Anyway, I’m just looking for something fun. Neil is the same way, so it’s perfect.”

  “It wasn’t a one-night stand?”

  “Oh, I hope not. I finally found a man who’s amazing in bed. I’m not gonna let that slip through my fingertips.”

  “Even if he’s sleeping with other people?”

  I shrugged. “What he does on his own time is none of my business.” I would settle for a tiny piece of that man if I couldn’t have the whole thing. Besides, it was a major ego booster knowing I was bedding such an incredible man. I’d like to think Cameron would be jealous…but he probably wouldn’t care.

  “So, what’s he like?”

  I felt like I needed to protect his privacy. That was the unspoken code of lovers, and since I respected him, I wanted to keep it. He seemed like a guy who wouldn’t share the details of my body with a group of friends. He probably wouldn’t mention it at all. “Amazing.”

  “Big? Medium? Average?”

  I drank from my glass and shrugged.

  “Oh, come on. You’re not a prude, so don’t start being one now.”

  “I’m not gonna tell you about his junk. He’s your brother-in-law.”

  “You tell me about all the other guys.”

  “But that’s different…”

  “How is Kyle any different? You told me about his awesome wang.”

  “Yeah…and I should have kept my mouth shut.” I had been in a dark place and only thinking about myself.

  “Besides, I think I already know the answer. If Neil is anything like his brother…I’d say he’s pretty blessed downstairs.”

  He was very blessed.

  “So, he was good?”

  “Very good.” When I remembered how amazing the sex was, I wanted to march to his house and storm inside in the sluttiest lingerie I could find. Lock the doors and close out the outside world so we could enjoy each other until we were satisfied. “Best I’ve ever had.”

  “Whoa…that’s a bold statement.”

  Sex with Cameron had always been good, but since we’d ended on bad terms, all those memories had been erased. I was too busy thinking about Cameron when I was with Kyle that I didn’t really give that a chance either. But with Neil…it just felt right.

  “So, you woke up this morning, said goodbye, and then continued with your lives?”

  “He was still asleep when I woke up, so I just left.”

  She smiled. “You just left him there
?”

  “He knows the way out. He’s an astronaut…he can figure out rocket science.”

  “Vic will be annoyed, but he’ll get over it.”

  “There’s nothing to get over.”

  “You know he’s just protective of you. He loves you.”

  “Yes, I know…” Vic’s affection was very sweet. He took me under his wing and became the brother I never had. He always had my back, especially when I needed it the most. Stacy was always in my corner, but Vic was there too, and not just because he had to be. Ever since we met, we just clicked.

  “He said he’s always wanted a little sister, so I think he’s adopted you.”

  “That’s fine with me. I’ve always wanted a brother. But he needs to understand I’m a woman with needs—and his brother fulfills those needs.”

  Stacy chuckled. “Gotcha. So, what do you and Neil talk about?”

  “Um…” We didn’t talk about his job, and we rarely talked about mine. We hadn’t discussed important issues about politics or events around the globe. We were both educated people, but we hadn’t had a single deep conversation. “Just you guys and Slurpees, basically. We’ve never really talked before.”

  “You’re sleeping with an astronaut, and you’ve never asked him about space?” she asked incredulously.

  I shrugged. “I’m sure he gets asked about it a million times. The last thing he wants to do is talk about it.”

  “He’s always been pretty withdrawn about it, but since you’re sleeping together, it might be different.”

  “I don’t know…I don’t want to pester him about it. He doesn’t ask me a million questions about my divorce.”

  “Asking about someone’s divorce is totally different.” She rubbed her temple like she was fighting off a migraine. Then she brought her glass to her lips and took a deep drink.

  “Did you tell him what happened…?” Neil mentioned my divorce, but he didn’t ask any questions. Maybe he already knew exactly what happened.

  “No. He’s never asked.”

  “Has he asked Vic?”