"No." She shook her head.
"It's going to be fine. I won't let anything happen to you."
Kate felt her breath catch in her throat. Sean looked so much like Jeremy right now, confident, strong, sure of himself. He had no idea...
"Captain's Cove or straight ahead?" Sean asked Kate.
"Straight ahead. Caroline always understood the way Dad thought better than I did."
"Jeremy didn't want Dad to sail into the wind," Ashley murmured. "He thought we should go east, don't you remember? But Dad said we'd lose even more time, and it was just a summer storm. It wouldn't get that bad."
Kate stiffened. If she was closer, she would have given Ashley a good swift kick, but she couldn't reach her.
"What are you talking about, Ash?" Sean asked.
"She's confused," Caroline said quickly. "Look at her, she's terrified."
"They were arguing so loudly," Ashley continued as if neither Sean nor Caroline had spoken. She looked at Kate. "I'm sorry."
"Was Jeremy talking to your dad over the radio? I thought there wasn't any contact during the storm," Sean said, also turning his gaze to Kate.
She didn't know what to say, how to answer. Ashley was at the breaking point. The current storm was bringing it all back into her head. Anyone could see that.
"Jeremy was on our boat," Ashley burst out. "I'm sorry, Kate. I can't keep it in anymore. I'm so tired of lying."
"What did you just say?" Sean demanded, looking from Ashley to Kate. "Jeremy was on the Betsy Marie. He went down with that boat. That's the truth."
Kate took in a deep breath, knowing it was over. If she didn't tell him, Ashley would. "I brought Jeremy onboard the Moon Dancer just before that leg of the race. I wanted him to sail with us, Sean." Her stomach twisted into a knot as she thought back to those awful days. "I needed him with me. No one knew, not even my father, until it was too late to turn back."
The boat bounced and Sean stiffened, taking a minute to get the boat back under control before gazing back at her. "I don't understand. If Jeremy was on your boat, then what happened to him? You all survived. Why didn't he make it, too?"
"So many things happened all at once," Kate murmured. "I'm not even sure I know the sequence of events."
"It started with me," Ashley said. "I was down in the main cabin, and I was crying. I wasn't feeling well, and I was scared. The storm was just starting then. It wasn't that bad yet. Jeremy told me it would be all right. Just like you did a minute ago, Sean." She paused. "That's when he put his arm around me, and I kissed him. I wanted to distract myself from the storm. I wanted to forget where I was. Then Kate walked in." Ashley looked at her sister. "You had the most awful look in your eyes when you saw us, like I'd just stabbed you in the heart."
"I couldn't believe it," Kate said painfully. "I misunderstood the situation. I went a little berserk, and I said things I shouldn't have." Her eyes watered as guilt swamped her. She'd never had a chance to tell Jeremy she was sorry.
"But he knew you didn't mean it, Kate. And he knew Ashley was just scared," Caroline interrupted. "Because I talked to Jeremy right after that. He understood that tensions were running high. We were all on edge. We had been for months, but when Jeremy came onboard, it tipped the scales. Dad was furious. That's why he started drinking. He'd been so good the rest of the time. But, that night, it all came to a head."
"Yes, it did." Kate wished the memories weren't flooding back, but they were, and she couldn't stop them. "Dad and Jeremy were fighting about something. I don't even know what really. I was too mad at Jeremy to talk to him about it, and then I was too busy trying to keep the boat afloat to worry about it."
"Jeremy accused Dad of cheating," Caroline said. "I was down in our cabin, and I heard them talking. Jeremy said Dad had been cheating all along, bribing some of the crew members of the Betsy Marie to slow K.C. down, stuff like that. Then Dad accused Jeremy of coming onboard for K.C. and not for Kate." Caroline stopped, an odd look in her eyes. "I just remembered that. He thought Jeremy was K.C.'s spy."
"You never said that before," Kate said.
"I didn't remember until now.”
"Get back to how my brother ended up in the ocean," Sean said harshly, drawing all three women's eyes back to him.
"It was later that day," Ashley said. "Kate was at the wheel. Caroline and I were down in the cabin. I don't know which one of us was crying more." She exchanged a poignant look with Caroline. "Jeremy came down to check on us. I guess that's when he took off his safety harness."
"And when he came back up, Dad started shouting at him," Kate continued. "I told them both to stop fighting and come help me with the sails. They started toward me, and then they collided." Kate saw the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. Jeremy rushing toward her, then Duncan getting in his way, the shove, hands, fists, arms, legs flying, Jeremy landing on his back with a crack. She had turned in horror, and as she'd done so, the boat was hit by a huge wave, and suddenly Jeremy was sliding away, right over the side of the boat and into that awful, monstrous sea. "Jeremy fell. And then he was gone, over the side," she muttered.
"Oh, my God!" Sean said, horror in his eyes.
"I remember unhooking my safety harness. I ran to the side, and I saw him in the water," Kate continued.
"And then you jumped in after him," Ashley said. "I couldn't believe it. Dad and I went running for the lines so we could rescue you both."
"I had Jeremy's hand in mine." Kate looked at the brother of the man she had loved so fiercely. "I tried to save him, Sean. I swear I did." Her voice broke. "But I couldn't hold on. His hand was too slippery, and he wasn't conscious. His eyes were closed. I screamed at him to look at me, to talk to me, but he wouldn't. And then he was gone." Kate saw the awful pain in Sean's eyes, but it was nothing to the pain she'd felt when Jeremy had disappeared. A tear ran down her face as she took in a breath and let it out. "The next time I came up, I saw the Moon Dancer in front of me, and I managed to get to the life preserver Dad had thrown out to me. He and Ashley pulled me onboard."
"We looked for Jeremy, but we couldn't find him," Ashley said. She put a tentative hand on Sean's arm, but he threw it off in anger, glaring at each of them.
"How hard did you look?"
Kate flinched. "We looked, Sean. Don't you think I would have saved Jeremy if I could have? I loved him. He was everything to me."
"But your father hated him. Maybe he made a choice that night. Maybe it was easier to let Jeremy's accusations drown."
"That's not true," Caroline said. "Dad wouldn't have done that. He might be a drunk, but he's not cruel."
"Why didn't you say something?" Sean asked in bewilderment. "All these years, you let me and my parents believe that Jeremy went down with the Betsy Marie. How could you do that?" Sean stared at them as if he'd never seen them before. And he hadn't. He was seeing them for the first time the way they really were. Kate felt naked and ugly and totally ashamed.
"We didn't set out to lie," she said. "But when we got back to shore, everyone was talking about the guys who went down on the Betsy Marie. They were comforting me, knowing that I was involved with Jeremy. Dad asked us not to correct them. When it became clear that no one knew Jeremy had been with us, it was too late to come clean."
"Because you were afraid that your father might have been held accountable," Sean said roughly. "He killed my brother. He shoved him, knocked him out, and then didn't try to rescue him."
"That's not what we just said," Kate said.
"Isn't it? That's what I heard. And then the three of you covered it up."
"Because Jeremy was dead, and nothing we said would change that," Caroline explained.
But her explanation didn't satisfy Sean. Kate could see it in his eyes, eyes that were so much like Jeremy's. Only Jeremy's eyes had never condemned her, never wished her to hell as Sean's eyes were doing now. She couldn't blame him for the hate. It was the same hate she'd felt for herself every day for the last eight years.
; "I loved Jeremy," she said. "If I could have died in his place, I would have."
"But your father saved you, so you saved him in return." Sean shook his head. "What the hell am I doing out here with the three of you? How could you even ask me to do this?"
"I asked you because I was desperate," Kate said. "That's why. Because it's not just my father who is missing. Tyler is with him, a man I care very much about. A man I don't want to lose the same way I lost Jeremy. You can hate me, Sean. You can hate all of us. We probably deserve it. But there's an innocent man out on the water who has no idea about any of this. And he doesn't deserve to die because of something that happened eight years ago, something we can't take back no matter how much we want to."
Sean stared at her for a long moment, then turned his attention to the water in front of him. "We probably won't be able to find them, anyway. They could be anywhere."
"But you won't turn back, will you?" Kate asked, holding her breath for his answer.
"Not yet," he said finally.
For a few moments no one spoke. The only sounds were those of the increasingly furious storm. Kate, Ashley, and Caroline huddled together, arms linked, drawing strength from one another as they stood behind Sean, their father's fate resting in his angry hands.
They peered through the darkness. The spotlight running from the top of the boat illuminated patches of water, but it was difficult to see much of anything. The radio continued to relay distress and rescue calls, but none that fit the description of their dad's boat.
It couldn't end like this. Not like this, Kate prayed. There were too many things she wanted to tell Tyler. And even her father. Too many questions left unanswered. Too many feelings left unspoken.
"There they are!" Ashley shouted, drawing her attention back to the water. "Look, there's Dad's boat."
Sean seemed to hesitate. For a split second Kate wondered if he would turn back, leave her father to save himself.
"Sean?" Kate questioned.
"I don't leave anyone in the water," he said abruptly, turning in the direction of Duncan's boat.
When they drew closer, Kate could see Tyler, waving and shouting something, but the wind took away his words. Not that it mattered. Kate could see they were in trouble. The boat was sitting precariously low in the water and going lower by the second. Each swell seemed to push it even farther down.
Sean steered them as close as he could, but the waves pushed them apart.
"I need someone to take the wheel," Sean said urgently.
"I'll do it," Caroline offered.
Sean hurried out onto the deck, and Kate followed quickly behind him.
"We'll throw them a line and try to tow them closer to us," Sean yelled to her.
The rain seemed to pick up as their efforts intensified, creating a thick curtain between the two boats. Kate barely felt the water or the wind. She was too focused on Tyler and her father. She didn't understand why Duncan was just sitting there doing nothing. Why wasn't he helping? Why wasn't he trying to grab the line?
The first few attempts fell short. Finally the line made it into Tyler's hands. Kate let out a gasp of relief as Tyler tried to tie the line to the boat. But he couldn't do it. The boat was sinking, she realized in horror. Her father and Tyler were going underwater. And her father didn't have on a life jacket. Why not? Had her father gone completely crazy? Unless he only had the one, and he'd given it to Tyler.
As she watched, Tyler began to shrug out of his life jacket, clearly intending to put it on her father. She clapped a hand to her mouth, realizing that he would be completely vulnerable if the boat went down. "The life preserver," Kate shouted to Sean.
Sean was already tossing a life preserver to Tyler. Tyler caught it and tried to get it over Duncan's head.
What was wrong with her father? He seemed completely out of it. Was he drunk? The horrifying thought made her sick to her stomach. Was that why they hadn't come back? Had her father taken Tyler along on some drunken joyride? Damn him!
"Dad must be hurt," Ashley said as she came on deck. "Or sick."
"Or drunk," Kate said bitterly.
"What are we going to do?" Ashley asked as they watched Tyler try to wrestle their father into the life preserver.
"I'm going in," Kate said decisively. "I'll swim over there and help Tyler."
"You can't," Ashley said. "Not again."
The last thing Kate wanted to do was jump into that black, swirling water, but she couldn't stand by and do nothing, not when another man she loved was in danger of drowning.
"I have to," she said.
"I'll go." Sean put his hand on Kate's shoulder. "You went after my brother. I'll go after your father."
"No, Sean!" Ashley screamed, rushing to the side as Sean went into the water. "No, don't go," she cried, sobbing as they waited for Sean to come up.
"He'll be okay," Kate said, putting her arm around her sister and holding her close. She was relieved to see Sean's head pop out of the water and the beginning of a strong freestyle. But it seemed to take forever for Sean to reach the boat. He was swimming in a life jacket, his movements hampered by the bulky vest, and he had his arm hooked around another life preserver. Despite the fact that he was a good swimmer, the waves kept pushing him back toward their boat.
"This is just like before," Ashley said. "I was watching you struggle in the water. Dad was trying to save you, and I didn't think I would ever see you again."
"But you did." Kate pulled Ashley into a tight hug as they both started crying. "And Sean is just as stubborn as I am, probably more so. He'll make it, and he'll save Dad and Tyler."
Kate looked toward the other boat. Sean was almost there. So close. And then Tyler was leaning over. He grabbed Sean's hand and pulled him onboard. Together, they put the preserver around Duncan's body. But he seemed to be wrestling with them, arguing, shouting something.
Please, Dad, Kate prayed. Please, just let them save you.
A huge swell came up, crashing over all three of them. One minute they were on the boat, the next they were in the water, and the boat was gone.
Kate heard screams. She didn't know if they were hers or her sisters', but they echoed the screams of the past. The storm had returned. The day of reckoning had come.
"I don't see them," Ashley cried. "Oh, my God, Kate! I don't see any of them."
Chapter Twenty-Three
It was just like before. One minute he was there, the next he was gone, Kate thought. She shook her head, wiping the rain and tears from her eyes so she could see better.
"They can't be gone," Ashley sobbed. "I love Sean. I never told him."
She'd never told Tyler she loved him, either, Kate realized. She'd let the opportunity pass by, afraid to put her heart on the line, afraid to even admit to herself that she'd fallen for him. Now it might be too late. And what of her father? Had she protected him all these years, only to lose him now?
Then the clouds suddenly parted. The moon peeked through, lighting up the water next to them like a spotlight on center stage.
"There they are!" Kate shouted. The bodies drew closer, but she couldn't tell how many. Were there two or were there three?
Finally they reached the boat, and she could see Tyler and Sean, each with a hand on the life preserver holding her father afloat. She threw the rope ladder over the side and Tyler pulled himself halfway out of the water. Then, with what looked like a superhuman effort on his part, he managed to get Duncan to the ladder.
Kate and Ashley both reached out for their father. Duncan's movements were awkward and slow. His eyes were open, but he seemed barely conscious or aware of his surroundings, and his body was like a deadweight. With Sean and Tyler pushing him up, they managed to pull Duncan over the side and onto the deck of the boat. Caroline ran up the stairs from the cabin below, her arms full of blankets. While she wrapped a blanket around her father's shaking shoulders, Kate reached out to Tyler.
He grabbed her hand and she held on tight. She would not let this man
go. He would not slip from her fingers. As he climbed up the ladder, their eyes met, and she almost burst into tears, knowing that she could have easily lost him forever. Then he was over the side of the boat and holding her in his arms, his cold lips touching hers in a passionate kiss that warmed them both from the inside out.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" she asked, pulling away from him long enough to take a good look.
"I'm fine." He turned toward Sean, who was wrapped up in Ashley's arms. "Thanks to your friend here."
Sean drew back from Ashley and stared at all of them, his gaze finally settling on Duncan, who was half lying, half sitting on the deck, his breath still coming in ragged gasps.
"You should have let me drown," Duncan said, looking at Sean. "It's what I deserved."
"Probably," Sean agreed. "But, unlike you, I don't let people die." He stomped into the cockpit, ignoring the blanket in Caroline's hand, and a moment later the engines roared to life.
Kate squatted down next to her father. "He knows everything. We told him on the way out here.”
"And he still jumped into the water?" Duncan asked in bemusement.
"He's a good man."
"Just like his brother," Duncan muttered. "I never wanted Jeremy to die, Katie. It was an accident. I didn't like him, but I didn't mean to hurt him."
She'd heard it all before. But the words of forgiveness wouldn't come. "What about Tyler? Did you mean to hurt him when you brought him all the way out here? What the hell were you thinking? Why didn't you turn back when the weather changed?"
"Katie, I—"
"You were drinking, too. Drinking and sailing without a working radio, without two life jackets! It's madness, and you know it. You taught us the rules years ago, but you keep breaking them. Over and over and over again. How many times do you think I can rescue you? How many times can I keep doing this, Dad?"
He looked at her with intense pain in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, for Jeremy, for the cheating, and for the lies I asked you and your sisters to tell." He looked over at Ashley and Caroline. "You girls were the best thing that ever happened to me after marrying your mother. I know I didn't raise you right, taking you out of school and sailing around the world. I made a lot of mistakes. I'm still making them. But I love you, girls. If you don't believe anything else, I hope you'll believe that. And I hope you'll forgive me." His sentence ended with a fit of coughing that turned his face red.
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