The Virginians

by William Makepeace Thackeray

  CHAPTER XC

  In which we both fight and run away

  What was the use of a Colonel without a regiment? The Governor andCouncil who had made such a parade of thanks in endowing me with mine,were away out of sight, skulking on board ships, with an occasionalpiracy and arson on shore. My Lord Dunmore's black allies frightenedaway those of his own blood; and besides these negroes whom he hadsummoned round him in arms, we heard that he had sent an envoy amongthe Indians of the South, and that they were to come down in numbersand tomahawk our people into good behaviour. "And these are to be ourallies!" I say to my mother, exchanging ominous looks with her, andremembering, with a ghastly distinctness, that savage whose face glaredover mine, and whose knife was at my throat when Florac struck him downon Braddock's Field. We put our house of Castlewood into as good a stateof defence as we could devise; but, in truth, it was more of the red menand the blacks than of the rebels we were afraid. I never saw my motherlose courage but once, and then when she was recounting to us theparticulars of our father's death in a foray of Indians more than fortyyears ago. Seeing some figures one night moving in front of our house,nothing could persuade the good lady but that they were savages, andshe sank on her knees crying out, "The Lord have mercy upon us! TheIndians--the Indians!"

  My lord's negro allies vanished on board his ships, or where they couldfind pay and plunder; but the painted heroes from the South never madetheir appearance, though I own to have looked at my mother's grey head,my wife's brown hair, and our little one's golden ringlets, with ahorrible pang of doubt lest these should fall the victims of ruffianwar. And it was we who fought with such weapons, and enlisted theseallies! But that I dare not (so to speak) be setting myself up asinterpreter of Providence, and pointing out the special finger of Heaven(as many people are wont to do), I would say our employment of theseIndians, and of the German mercenaries, brought their own retributionwith them in this war. In the field, where the mercenaries were attackedby the Provincials, they yielded, and it was triumphing over them thatso raised the spirit of the Continental army; and the murder of onewoman (Miss McCrea) by a half-dozen drunken Indians, did more harmto the Royal cause than the loss of a battle or the destruction ofregiments.

  Now, the Indian panic over, Madam Esmond's courage returned: and shebegan to be seriously and not unjustly uneasy at the danger which I ranmyself, and which I brought upon others, by remaining in Virginia.

  "What harm can they do me," says she, "a poor woman? If I have one sona colonel without a regiment, I have another with a couple of hundredContinentals behind him in Mr. Washington's camp. If the Royalists come,they will let me off for your sake; if the rebels appear, I shall haveHarry's passport. I don't wish, sir, I don't like that your delicatewife and this dear little baby should be here, and only increase therisk of all of us! We must have them away to Boston or New York. Don'ttalk about defending me! Who will think of hurting a poor, harmless,old woman? If the rebels come, I shall shelter behind Mrs. Fanny'spetticoats, and shall be much safer without you in the house than init." This she said in part, perhaps, because 'twas reasonable; more sobecause she would have me and my family out of the danger; and dangeror not, for her part felt that she was determined to remain in the landwhere her father was buried, and she was born. She was living backwards,so to speak. She had seen the new generation, and blessed them, and badethem farewell. She belonged to the past, and old days and memories.

  While we were debating about the Boston scheme, comes the news thatthe British have evacuated that luckless city altogether, never havingventured to attack Mr. Washington in his camp at Cambridge (though helay there for many months without powder at our mercy); but waitinguntil he procured ammunition, and seized and fortified Dorchesterheights, which commanded the town, out of which the whole British armyand colony was obliged to beat a retreat. That the King's troops won thebattle at Bunker's Hill, there is no more doubt than that they beat theFrench at Blenheim; but through the war their chiefs seem constantly tohave been afraid of assaulting entrenched Continentals afterwards; elsewhy, from July to March, hesitate to strike an almost defenceless enemy?Why the hesitation at Long Island, when the Continental army was in ourhand? Why that astonishing timorousness--of Howe before Valley Forge,where the relics of a force starving, sickening, and in rags, couldscarcely man the lines, which they held before a great, victorious, andperfectly appointed army?

  As the hopes and fears of the contending parties rose and fell, it wascurious to mark the altered tone of the partisans of either. When thenews came to us in the country of the evacuation of Boston, every littleWhig in the neighbourhood made his bow to Madam, and advised her toa speedy submission. She did not carry her loyalty quite so openly asheretofore, and flaunt her flag in the faces of the public, but shenever swerved. Every night and morning in private poor Hagan prayed forthe Royal Family in our own household, and on Sundays any neighbourswere welcome to attend the service, where my mother acted as a veryemphatic clerk, and the prayer for the High Court of Parliament underour most religious and gracious King was very stoutly delivered. Thebrave Hagan was a parson without a living, as I was a Militia Colonelwithout a regiment. Hagan had continued to pray stoutly for King Georgein Williamsburg, long after his Excellency our Governor had run away:but on coming to church one Sunday to perform his duty, he found acorporal's guard at the church-door, who told him that the Committee ofSafety had put another divine in his place, and he was requested to keepa quiet tongue in his head. He told the men to "lead him beforetheir chiefs" (our honest friend always loved tall words and tragicattitudes); and accordingly was marched through the streets to theCapitol, with a chorus of white and coloured blackguards at the skirtsof his gown; and had an interview with Messrs. Henry and the new Stateofficers, and confronted the robbers, as he said, in their den. Ofcourse he was for making an heroic speech before these gentlemen (andwas one of many men who perhaps would have no objection to be mademartyrs, so that they might be roasted coram populo, or tortured in afull house), but Mr. Henry was determined to give him no such chance.After keeping Hagan three or four hours waiting in an anteroom inthe company of negroes, when the worthy divine entered the new chiefmagistrate's room with an undaunted mien, and began a prepared speechwith--"Sir, by what authority am I, a minister of the----" "Mr. Hagan,"says the other, interrupting him, "I am too busy to listen to speeches.And as for King George, he has henceforth no more authority in thiscountry than King Nebuchadnezzar. Mind you that, and hold your tongue,if you please! Stick to King John, sir, and King Macbeth; and if youwill send round your benefit-tickets, all the Assembly shall come andhear you. Did you ever see Mr. Hagan on the boards, when you wasin London, General?" And, so saying, Henry turns round upon Mr.Washington's second in command, General Lee, who was now come intoVirginia upon State affairs, and our shamefaced good Hagan was bustledout of the room, reddening, and almost crying with shame. After thisevent we thought that Hagan's ministrations were best confined to us inthe country, and removed the worthy pastor from his restive lambs in thecity.

  The selection of Virginians to the very highest civil and militaryappointments of the new government bribed and flattered many of ourleading people, who, otherwise, and but for the outrageous conduct ofour government, might have remained faithful to the Crown, and madegood head against the rising rebellion. But, although we Loyalists weregagged and muzzled, though the Capitol was in the hands of the Whigs,and our vaunted levies of loyal recruits so many Falstaff's regimentsfor the most part, the faithful still kept intelligences with oneanother in the colony, and with our neighbours; and though we didnot rise, and though we ran away, and though, in examination beforecommittees, justices, and so forth, some of our frightened people gavethemselves Republican airs, and vowed perdition to kings and nobles; yetwe knew each other pretty well, and--according as the chances were moreor less favourable to us, the master more or less hard--we concealedour colours, showed our colours, half showed our colours, or downrightapostatised for the nonce, and cried, "Down with Kin
g George!" Ournegroes bore about, from house to house, all sorts of messages andtokens. Endless underhand plots and schemes were engaged in by those whocould not afford the light. The battle over, the neutrals come and jointhe winning side, and shout as loudly as the patriots. The runawaysare not counted. Will any man tell me that the signers and ardentwell-wishers of the Declaration of Independence were not in a minorityof the nation, and that the minority did not win? We knew that apartof the defeated army of Massachusetts was about to make an importantexpedition southward, upon the success of which the very greatest hopeswere founded; and I, for one, being anxious to make a movement as soonas there was any chance of activity, had put myself in communicationwith the ex-Governor Martin, of North Carolina, whom I proposed to join,with three or four of our Virginian gentlemen, officers of that notablecorps of which we only wanted privates. We made no particular mysteryabout our departure from Castlewood; the affairs of Congress werenot going so well yet that the new government could afford to lay anyparticular stress or tyranny upon persons of a doubtful way of thinking.Gentlemen's houses were still open; and in our southern fashion we wouldvisit our friends for months at a time. My wife and I, with our infantand a fitting suite of servants, took leave of Madam Esmond on a visitto a neighbouring plantation. We went thence to another friend's house,and then to another, till finally we reached Wilmington, in NorthCarolina, which was the point at which we expected to stretch a hand tothe succours which were coming to meet us.

  Ere our arrival, our brother Carolinian Royalists had shown themselvesin some force. Their encounters with the Whigs had been unlucky. Thepoor Highlanders had been no more fortunate in their present contest infavour of King George, than when they had drawn their swords against himin their own country. We did not reach Wilmington until the end of May,by which time we found Admiral Parker's squadron there, with GeneralClinton and five British regiments on board, whose object was a descentupon Charleston.

  The General, to whom I immediately made myself known, seeing that myregiment consisted of Lady Warrington, our infant, whom she was nursing,and three negro servants, received us at first with a very grim welcome.But Captain Horner of the Sphinx frigate, who had been on the Jamaicastation, and received, like all the rest of the world, many kindnessesfrom our dear Governor there, when he heard that my wife was GeneralLambert's daughter, eagerly received her on board, and gave up hisbest cabin to our service; and so we were refugees, too, like my LordDunmore, having waved our flag, to be sure, and pocketed it, andslipped out at the back door. From Wilmington we bore away quickly toCharleston, and in the course of the voyage and our delay in the river,previous to our assault on the place, I made some acquaintance withMr. Clinton, which increased to a further intimacy. It was the King'sbirthday when we appeared in the river: we determined it was a gloriousday for the commencement of the expedition.

  It did not take place for some days after, and I leave out, purposely,all descriptions of my Penelope parting from her Hector, going forth onthis expedition. In the first place, Hector is perfectly well (thougha little gouty), nor has any rascal of a Pyrrhus made a prize of hiswidow: and in times of war and commotion, are not such scenes of woe andterror, and parting, occurring every hour? I can see the gentle face yetover the bulwark, as we descend the ship's side into the boats, and thesmile of the infant on her arm. What old stories, to be sure! CaptainMiles, having no natural taste for poetry, you have forgot the verses,no doubt, in Mr. Pope's Homer, in which you are described as partingwith your heroic father; but your mother often read them to you asa boy, and keeps the gorget I wore on that day somewhere amongst herdressing-boxes now.

  My second venture at fighting was no more lucky than my first. We cameback to our ships that evening thoroughly beaten. The madcap Lee, whomClinton had faced at Boston, now met him at Charleston. Lee, and thegallant garrison there, made a brilliant and most successful resistance.The fort on Sullivan's Island, which we attacked, was a nut we could notcrack. The fire of all our frigates was not strong enough to pound itsshell; the passage by which we moved up to the assault of the place wasnot fordable, as those officers found--Sir Henry at the head of them,who was always the first to charge--who attempted to wade it. Death byshot, by drowning, by catching my death of cold, I had braved before Ireturned to my wife; and our frigate being aground for a time and gotoff with difficulty, was agreeably cannonaded by the enemy until she gotoff her bank.

  A small incident in the midst of this unlucky struggle was the occasionof a subsequent intimacy which arose between me and Sir Harry Clinton,and bound me to that most gallant officer during the Period in whichit was my fortune to follow the war. Of his qualifications as a leaderthere may be many opinions: I fear to say, regarding a man I heartilyrespect and admire, there ought only to be one. Of his personal bearingand his courage there can be no doubt; he was always eager to show it;and whether at the final charge on Breed's Hill, when at the head ofthe rallied troops he carried the Continental lines, or here beforeSullivan's Fort, or a year later at Fort Washington, when, standard inhand, he swept up the height, and entered the fort at the head of thestorming column, Clinton was always foremost in the race of battle, andthe King's service knew no more admirable soldier.

  We were taking to the water from our boats, with the intention offorcing a column to the fort, through a way which our own guns hadrendered practicable, when a shot struck a boat alongside of us, sowell aimed, as actually to put three-fourths of the boat's crew hors decombat, and knock down the officer steering, and the flag behind him.I could not help crying out, "Bravo! well aimed!" for no ninepins everwent down more helplessly than these poor fellows before the round shot.Then the General, turning round to me, says, rather grimly, "Sir, thebehaviour of the enemy seems to please you!" "I am pleased, sir," saysI, "that my countrymen, yonder, should fight as becomes our nation."We floundered on towards the fort in the midst of the same amiableattentions from small arms and great, until we found the water was upto our breasts and deepening at every step, when we were fain to taketo our boats again and pull out of harm's way. Sir Henry waited upon myLady Warrington on board the Sphinx after this, and was very gracious toher, and mighty facetious regarding the character of the humble writerof the present memoir, whom his Excellency always described as a rebelat heart. I pray my children may live to see or engage in no greatrevolutions,--such as that, for instance, raging in the country of ourmiserable French neighbours. Save a very, very few indeed, the actors inthose great tragedies do not bear to be scanned too closely; the chiefsare often no better than ranting quacks; the heroes ignoble puppets; theheroines anything but pure. The prize is not always to the brave. In ourrevolution it certainly did fall, for once and for a wonder, to themost deserving: but who knows his enemies now? His great and surprisingtriumphs were not in those rare engagements with the enemy where heobtained a trifling mastery; but over Congress; over hunger and disease;over lukewarm friends, or smiling foes in his own camp, whom his greatspirit had to meet and master. When the struggle was over, and ourimportant chiefs who had conducted it began to squabble and accuseeach other in their own defence before the nation--what charges andcounter-charges were brought; what pretexts of delay were urged; whatpiteous excuses were put forward that this fleet arrived too late; thatthat regiment mistook its orders; that these cannon-balls would not fitthose guns; and so to the end of the chapter! Here was a general whobeat us with no shot at times, and no powder, and no money; and he neverthought of a convention; his courage never capitulated! Through all thedoubt and darkness, the danger and long tempest of the war, I think itwas only the American leader's indomitable soul that remained entirelysteady.

  Of course our Charleston expedition was made the most of, and pronounceda prodigious victory by the enemy, who had learnt (from their parents,perhaps) to cry victory if a corporal's guard were surprised, as loudas if we had won a pitched battle. Mr. Lee rushed back to New York, theconqueror of conquerors, trumpeting his glory, and by no man receivedwith more eager delight than by the Comm
ander-in-Chief of the AmericanArmy. It was my dear Lee and my dear General between them, then; and ithath always touched me in the history of our early Revolution to notethat simple confidence and admiration with which the General-in-Chiefwas wont to regard officers under him, who had happened previously toserve with the King's army. So the Mexicans of old looked and wonderedwhen they first saw an armed Spanish horseman! And this mad, flashybraggart (and another Continental general, whose name and whose luckafterwards were sufficiently notorious) you may be sure took advantageof the modesty of the Commander-in-Chief, and advised, and blustered,and sneered, and disobeyed orders; daily presenting fresh obstacles(as if he had not enough otherwise!) in the path over which only Mr.Washington's astonishing endurance could have enabled him to march.

  Whilst we were away on our South Carolina expedition, the famous Fourthof July had taken place, and we and the thirteen United States wereparted for ever. My own native state of Virginia had also distinguisheditself by announcing that all men are equally free; that all power isvested in the people, who have an inalienable right to alter, reform,or abolish their form of government at pleasure, and that the idea ofan hereditary first magistrate is unnatural and absurd! Our Generalpresented me with this document fresh from Williamsburg, as we weresailing northward by the Virginia capes, and, amidst not a littleamusement and laughter, pointed out to me the faith to which, from theFourth inst. inclusive, I was bound. There was no help for it; I was aVirginian--my godfathers had promised and vowed, in my name, that allmen were equally free (including, of course, the race of poor Gumbo),that the idea of a monarchy is absurd, and that I had the right to altermy form of government at pleasure. I thought of Madam Esmond at home,and how she would look when these articles of faith were brought her tosubscribe; how would Hagan receive them? He demolished them in a sermon,in which all the logic was on his side, but the U.S. Government has not,somehow, been affected by the discourse; and when he came to touch uponthe point that all men being free, therefore Gumbo and Sady, and Nathan,had assuredly a right to go to Congress: "Tut, tut! my good Mr. Hagan,"says my mother, "let us hear no more of this nonsense; but leave suchwickedness and folly to the rebels!"

  By the middle of August we were before New York, whither Mr. Howe hadbrought his army that had betaken itself to Halifax after its ingloriousexpulsion from Boston. The American Commander-in-Chief was at NewYork, and a great battle inevitable; and I looked forward to it withan inexpressible feeling of doubt and anxiety, knowing that my dearestbrother and his regiment formed part of the troops whom we must attack,and could not but overpower. Almost the whole of the American army cameover to fight on a small island, where every officer on both sides knewthat they were to be beaten, and whence they had not a chance of escape.Two frigates, out of a hundred we had placed so as to command theenemy's entrenched camp and point of retreat across East River to NewYork, would have destroyed every bark in which he sought to fly, andcompelled him to lay down his arms on shore. He fought: his hasty levieswere utterly overthrown; some of his generals, his best troops, hisartillery taken; the remnant huddled into their entrenched camp aftertheir rout, the pursuers entering it with them. The victors were calledback; the enemy was then pent up in a corner of the island, and couldnot escape. "They are at our mercy, and are ours to-morrow," says thegentle General. Not a ship was set to watch the American force; nota sentinel of ours could see a movement in their camp. A whole armycrossed under our eyes in one single night to the mainland without theloss of a single man; and General Howe was suffered to remain in commandafter this feat, and to complete his glories of Long Island and Breed'sHill, at Philadelphia! A friend, to be sure, crossed in the night to saythe enemy's army was being ferried over, but he fell upon a picket ofGermans: they could not understand him: their commander was boozing orasleep. In the morning, when the spy was brought to some one who couldcomprehend the American language, the whole Continental force hadcrossed the East River, and the empire over thirteen colonies hadslipped away.

  The opinions I had about our chief were by no means uncommon in thearmy; though, perhaps, wisely kept secret by gentlemen under Mr. Howe'simmediate command. Am I more unlucky than other folks, I wonder? or whyare my imprudent sayings carried about more than my neighbours'? My ragethat such a use was made of such a victory was no greater than that ofscores of gentlemen with the army. Why must my name forsooth be given upto the Commander-in-Chief as that of the most guilty of thegrumblers? Personally, General Howe was perfectly brave, amiable, andgood-humoured.

  "So, Sir George," says he, "you find fault with me, as a militaryman, because there was a fog after the battle on Long Island, and yourfriends, the Continentals, gave me the slip! Surely we took and killedenough of them; but there is no satisfying you gentlemen amateurs!" andhe turned his back on me, and shrugged his shoulders, and talked to someone else. Amateur I might be, and he the most amiable of men; but ifKing George had said to him, "Never more be officer of mine," yonderagreeable and pleasant Cassio would most certainly have had his desert.

  I soon found how our Chief had come in possession of his informationregarding myself. My admirable cousin, Mr. William Esmond--who of coursehad forsaken New York and his post, when all the Royal authorities fledout of the place, and Washington occupied it,--returned along with ourtroops and fleets; and, being a gentleman of good birth and name, andwell acquainted with the city, made himself agreeable to the newcomersof the Royal army, the young bloods, merry fellows, and macaronis, byintroducing them to play-tables, taverns, and yet worse places, withwhich the worthy gentleman continued to be familiar in the New Worldas in the Old. Coelum non animum. However Will had changed his air, orwhithersoever he transported his carcase, he carried a rascal in hisskin.

  I had heard a dozen stories of his sayings regarding my family, and wasdetermined neither to avoid him nor seek him; but to call him to accountwhensoever we met; and, chancing one day to be at a coffee-house in afriend's company, my worthy kinsman swaggered in with a couple of younglads of the army, whom he found it was his pleasure and profit nowto lead into every kind of dissipation. I happened to know one of Mr.Will's young companions, an aide-de-camp of General Clinton's, who hadbeen in my close company both at Charleston, before Sullivan's Island,and in the action of Brooklyn, where our General gloriously led theright wing of the English army. They took a box without noticing usat first, though I heard my name three or four times mentioned bymy brawling kinsman, who ended some drunken speech he was making byslapping his fist on the table, and swearing, "By----, I will do forhim, and the bloody rebel, his brother!"

  "Ah! Mr. Esmond," says I, coming forward with my hat on. (He looked alittle pale behind his punch-bowl.) "I have long wanted to see you, toset some little matters right about which there has been a differencebetween us."

  "And what may those be, sir?" says he, with a volley of oaths.

  "You have chosen to cast a doubt upon my courage, and say that I shirkeda meeting with you when we were young men. Our relationship and our ageought to prevent us from having recourse to such murderous follies" (Mr.Will started up, looking fierce and relieved), "but I give you notice,that though I can afford to overlook lies against myself, if I hear fromyou a word in disparagement of my brother, Colonel Warrington, of theContinental Army, I will hold you accountable."

  "Indeed, gentlemen! Mighty fine, indeed! You take notice of Sir GeorgeWarrington's words!" cries Mr. Will over his punch-bowl.

  "You have been pleased to say," I continued, growing angry as I spoke,and being a fool therefore for my pains, "that the very estates we holdin this country are not ours, but of right revert to your family!"

  "So they are ours! By George, they're ours! I've heard my brotherCastlewood say so a score of times!" swears Mr. Will.

  "In that case, sir," says I, hotly, "your brother, my Lord Castlewood,tells no more truth than yourself. We have the titles at hone inVirginia. They are registered in the courts there; and if ever I hearone word more of this impertinence, I shall call you to account where
noconstables will be at hand to interfere!"

  "I wonder," cries Will, in a choking voice, "that I don't cut him intotwenty thousand pieces as he stands there before me with his confoundedyellow face. It was my brother Castlewood won his money--no, it was hisbrother; d---- you, which are you, the rebel or the other? I hate theugly faces of both of you, and, hic!--if you are for the King, show youare for the King, and drink his health!" and he sank down into his boxwith a hiccup and a wild laugh, which he repeated a dozen times, witha hundred more oaths and vociferous outcries that I should drink theKing's health.

  To reason with a creature in this condition, or ask explanations orapologies from him, was absurd. I left Mr. Will to reel to his lodgingsunder the care of his young friends--who were surprised to find an oldtoper so suddenly affected and so utterly prostrated by liquor--andlimped home to my wife, whom I found happy in possession of a briefletter from Hal, which a countryman had brought in; and who said not aword about the affairs of the Continentals with whom he was engaged,but wrote a couple of pages of rapturous eulogiums upon his brother'sbehaviour in the field, which my dear Hal was pleased to admire, as headmired everything I said and did.

  I rather looked for a messenger from my amiable kinsman in consequenceof the speeches which had passed between us the night before, and didnot know but that I might be called by Will to make my words good; andwhen accordingly Mr. Lacy (our companion of the previous evening) madehis appearance at an early hour of the forenoon, I was beckoning my LadyWarrington to leave us, when, with a laugh and a cry of "Oh dear, no!"Mr. Lacy begged her ladyship not to disturb herself.

  "I have seen," says he, "a gentleman who begs to send you his apologiesif he uttered a word last night which could offend you."

  "What apologies? what words?" asks the anxious wife.

  I explained that roaring Will Esmond had met me in a coffee-house on theprevious evening, and quarrelled with me, as he had done with hundredsbefore. "It appears the fellow is constantly abusive, and invariablypleads drunkenness, and apologises the next morning, unless he is canedover-night," remarked Captain Lacy. And my lady, I dare say, makes alittle sermon, and asks why we gentlemen will go to idle coffee-housesand run the risk of meeting roaring, roystering Will Esmonds?

  Our sojourn in New York was enlivened by a project for burning the citywhich some ardent patriots entertained and partially executed. Severalsuch schemes were laid in the course of the war, and each one of theprincipal cities was doomed to fire; though, in the interests of peaceand goodwill, I hope it will be remembered that these plans neveroriginated with the cruel government of a tyrant king, but were alwaysproposed by gentlemen on the Continental side, who vowed that, ratherthan remain under the ignominious despotism of the ruffian of Brunswick,the fairest towns of America should burn. I presume that the sages whowere for burning down Boston were not actual proprietors in thatplace, and the New York burners might come from other parts of thecountry--from Philadelphia, or what not. Howbeit, the British sparedyou, gentlemen, and we pray you give us credit for this act ofmoderation.

  I had not the fortune to be present in the action on the White Plains,being detained by the hurt which I had received at Long Island, andwhich broke out again and again, and took some time in the healing. Thetenderest of nurses watched me through my tedious malady, and was eagerfor the day when I should doff my militia coat and return to the quietEnglish home where Hetty and our good General were tending our children.Indeed I don't know that I have yet forgiven myself for the pains andterrors that I must have caused my poor wife, by keeping her separatefrom her young ones, and away from her home, because, forsooth, I wishedto see a little more of the war then going on. Our grand tour in Europehad been all very well. We had beheld St. Peter's at Rome, and theBishop thereof; the Dauphiness of France (alas, to think that glorioushead should ever have been brought so low!) at Paris; and the rightfulKing of England at Florence. I had dipped my gout in a half-dozen bathsand spas, and played cards in a hundred courts, as my Travels in Europe(which I propose to publish after my completion of the History of theAmerican War) will testify. [Neither of these two projected works of SirGeorge Warrington were brought, as it appears, to a completion.] And,during our peregrinations, my hypochondria diminished (which plagued mewoefully at home); and my health and spirits visibly improved. Perhapsit was because she saw the evident benefit I had from excitement andchange, that my wife was reconciled to my continuing to enjoy them; andthough secretly suffering pangs at being away from her nursery and hereldest boy (for whom she ever has had an absurd infatuation), thedear hypocrite scarce allowed a look of anxiety to appear on her face;encouraged me with smiles; professed herself eager to follow me; askedwhy it should be a sin in me to covet honour? and, in a word, was readyto stay, to go, to smile, to be sad; to scale mountains, or to go downto the sea in ships; to say that cold was pleasant, heat tolerable,hunger good sport, dirty lodgings delightful; though she is wretchedsailor, very delicate about the little she eats, and an extreme suffererboth of cold and heat. Hence, as I willed to stay on yet a while on mynative continent, she was certain nothing was so good for me; and whenI was minded to return home--oh, how she brightened, and kissed herinfant, and told him how he should see the beautiful gardens at home,and Aunt Theo, and grandpapa, and his sister, and Miles. "Miles!" criesthe little parrot, mocking its mother--and crowing; as if there was anymighty privilege in seeing Mr. Miles, forsooth, who was under DoctorSumner's care at Harrow-on-the-Hill, where, to do the gentleman justice,he showed that he could eat more tarts than any boy in the school, andtook most creditable prizes at football and hare-and-hounds.