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Oath of Honor

Page 25

by Radclyffe


  Feeling just a little bit foolish, Evyn followed her inside. “Sorry

  to drop by like this.”

  “That’s okay. I was just about to open a bottle of wine. Are you

  hungry?”

  “No, I don’t want to put you out—”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s no bother.” Louise walked through the

  apartment to the kitchen, and Evyn followed, wondering why she had

  come and realizing what she was about to say was completely unlike

  her. Louise looked great in dance leggings and a tank top. She was

  barefoot, and her hair was loose. She was everything Evyn liked in a

  woman—smart, accomplished, great sense of humor, super body, and

  generous in bed. To make it even better, she was undemanding and

  independent.

  So what was she doing here?

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  Oath Of hOnOr

  “Listen, before you pour that wine, I should probably tell you I

  stopped by to break our date.”

  Louise turned, the wine bottle in one hand and a corkscrew in the

  other. She leaned back against the counter and gave Evyn an appraising

  look. “Okay. Usually people just call.”

  “And I guess the excuse that I was just in the neighborhood really

  doesn’t fly,” Evyn said ruefully. She rested her shoulder on the doorjamb

  and ran a hand through her hair. “So, I’m feeling a little dumb here. You

  want me to go?”

  Louise laughed. “No. I want you to stay and have a glass of wine

  and something to eat. How does stir-fry sound?”

  Evyn’s stomach rumbled and she blushed. “Well, it sounds great,

  but—”

  “Evyn,” Louise said, crossing the small space between them and

  kissing her on the cheek. “I think you’re great. We have a wonderful

  time together. But we never promised anything, and I don’t have any

  expectations.”

  “It’s just that—” Evyn was more confused now than she had been

  a few minutes before. Louise must be even more bewildered. Time to

  stop dancing around the issue. “I’m thinking we might not be intimate

  again.”

  “Ah.” Louise studied her. “It’s not something I said or did, is it?”

  “No, you’re great,” Evyn said quickly. “I’m being a total ass,

  aren’t I? I’m not explaining anything really very well. I’m not even

  sure why I’m here.”

  “Don’t apologize.” Louise smiled a little sadly. “That you would

  come here to tell me this, face-to-face, is one of the reasons I’m sorry

  we have to stop at friendship.”

  “Ah hell—”

  “But there’s no law against two people who like each other being

  friends, is there?” Louise brushed her fingers over Evyn’s shoulder. “I

  like you, aside from the great sex.”

  Evyn blushed. “It’s official. I am an ass.”

  “Quite possibly.” Louise laughed and poured a glass of red wine.

  “Have some of this while I cook and tell me what’s going on.”

  Evyn sipped wine and started to relax. “I don’t know what’s

  going on. Nothing, really. That’s what makes this whole thing sort of

  ridiculous.”

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  RADCLY fFE

  “Uh-huh,” Louise said, taking food from the refrigerator and pans

  from underneath the sleek counter. “But you’re here, so why don’t you

  start with what got you here.”

  “I just got back from a detail. It was a little crazy. One of my team

  members got into trouble.” Just saying that much made her faintly sick.

  The recurring image of Wes sinking deeper into the water came back

  sharp and clear. Adrenaline surged through her blood and a coppery

  taste filled her mouth.

  Louise glanced over her shoulder and paused in her food prep.

  “You sound like it was really bad. I’m sorry.”

  Evyn sucked in a breath. “She’s fine now. It was just tense there

  for a couple of minutes. That sort of thing happens. It’s part of the

  job.”“I guess it probably is. I got the sense you never really wanted to

  talk about it, so I never pressed. If you want to tell me more—”

  “Sorry. I guess I’ve never really shared much of anything.”

  “And I never asked you to. So we’re okay on that score. Go

  ahead—you just got back from a tough assignment. And?”

  “And there’s this woman…”

  Louise smiled. “Isn’t there always? Sometimes they really turn

  your head around, don’t they?”

  Evyn laughed. “You’d think I was new at this.”

  Louise regarded her thoughtfully. “Maybe you are?”

  “I think you might be right.” Where Wes was concerned, she sure

  felt like a first-timer. All hormones and insanity and hungry for more of

  everything. She’d kept praying Wes would lean back into the cab and

  kiss her good night. Yeah, right. Nuts. “Anyhow, that’s kind of what

  this is about. This woman I’m not really involved with—not that way,

  I mean.”

  “I think I almost understand. You need to think about some

  things.”

  “Yeah—I’m sorry.”

  “I know. Me too—but it’s okay. Really.” Louise pointed a wooden

  spatula at the vegetables piled on the cutting board. “So—will you

  stay?”“Yeah. I’m starved. And thanks.”

  Louise put the utensils down, motioned Evyn closer, and kissed

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  Oath Of hOnOr

  Evyn’s cheek. “You’re welcome. I like friends with benefits, but friends

  without benefits is okay too.”

  “That’s good to know. Thanks.” Evyn wasn’t sure what she’d just

  done or why, but it felt right. It felt almost as good as the night she’d

  spent with Wes, which felt more than right. And she had no idea what

  to do about that.

  • 203 •

  RADCLY fFE

  chapter twenty-five

  You need plants,” Doris Masters said, standing with her hands

  on her hips in the center of the small galley kitchen, surveying

  the adjacent living area. She pointed to the bay windows overlooking

  Nineteenth Street. “That window seat gets enough sunlight. A planter

  or two right there—”

  “Mom,” Wes said, “I kill plants.” Behind her, Denny snickered

  and mumbled something about understatement.

  Giving the impersonal apartment a 360-degree glance, Doris said,

  “A cat would be good.”

  “You have to feed cats,” Wes said.

  Her mother pointed a finger at her. “That’s why your plants die.”

  “Better plants than a cat,” Wes muttered. Her mother smiled, but

  Wes could tell by the glint in her ocean-green eyes she wasn’t finished.

  Looking a decade younger than her age, with the same green eyes and

  brown hair shot through with burnished gold, she could have been

  Wes’s older sister—and was sometimes mistaken for one of the sibs

  when they were all out together. Wes hadn’t known Denny and her

  mother were coming, but when they had shown up a few minutes after

  the delivery truck brought her belongings from Maryland, she’d been

  glad for more than the help. Their bright, sure love helped chase away

  the shadows that plagued her. She’d slept poorly s
ince the night she’d

  spent with Evyn. The hotel bed was big and empty and cold, and every

  morning she awoke lonely. She went through the days, splitting her

  time between exercises with PPD and clinic duties, with an empty ache

  inside. Evyn was friendly but reserved, and Wes didn’t think it was an

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  Oath Of hOnOr

  accident they hadn’t been alone together since their return from Kitty

  Hawk. Evyn was avoiding her.

  “Wesley,” her mother said, “this isn’t a temporary billet. You’re

  going to live here for the next few years, and it shouldn’t look like a

  hotel room.”

  Denny finally cut in and saved her. “Mama, give her a break. She

  didn’t invite us down here to help, after all, and—”

  “Mother’s prerogative.” Doris perched on the wooden arm of the

  tan canvas sofa. “We’ll miss you at Christmas.”

  Wes sat next to her mother and took her hand. “I know, I’m sorry.

  I’d be there if I could.”

  “We’ll miss you,” her mother repeated, “and we’re so very proud

  of you. Your other sisters wanted to be sure you knew that.”

  “I know. I love you. All of you.”

  Denny flopped down beside her and bumped her knee against

  Wes’s. “So—on the personal front—”

  Wes groaned. “Come on, Denny. Don’t start.”

  Doris stroked the back of Wes’s head and feathered the locks along

  the back of her neck, as if she were still ten. “There’s more to life than

  work, Wesley.”

  “And there’s lots of life ahead, Mom. I’m fine. Just really busy

  right now.”

  “Yeah,” Denny said softly, “but are you happy?”

  Wes hadn’t expected the question and hesitated before she

  answered. Getting the third degree from her family about her personal

  life wasn’t unusual, but after she shrugged off their good-natured

  queries with some standard answer, the conversation usually moved on.

  This time, the questions felt different, or maybe she was the one who

  was different. She didn’t have a pat response, and the old explanations

  rang false, even to her. “I don’t know. I’ve never given it much thought.

  My work makes me happy—”

  “Satisfaction isn’t happiness,” Doris said.

  “No, maybe not,” Wes said, “but it’s always been enough.”

  “Things change, you know,” Denny said. “Don’t miss the chance

  for more than satisfaction if it comes along.”

  “Okay, enough. Message received.” Wes squeezed Denny’s hand,

  kissed her mother’s cheek, and stood. “You’ve got a two-hour drive and

  • 205 •

  RADCLY fFE

  I’ve got a ton of things to do.” At her mother’s frown she added quickly,

  “And I promised Emory I’d go out with her and Dana tonight. So I do

  have a social life, you know.”

  “Are you taking a date?” Denny asked, an eager glint in her eyes.

  Wes instantly thought of Evyn. Like every time she thought of

  her, the memory of Evyn pressed close in the night flooded through her.

  Pleasure warred with pain, and she schooled her face to remain neutral.

  “No.”“Huh. What aren’t you telling us?” Denny narrowed her eyes.

  “Nothing. I’m just getting together with some friends.”

  “Let her be, Denny,” Doris said.

  Her mother studied Wes with that laser-beam look that made Wes

  think her mother could see inside her head. Considering all she could

  see was Evyn naked—moving under her, rising above her, crying out as

  she came—she slammed the mental door as quickly as she could. Some

  things her mother definitely did not need to know.

  “She’ll tell us when she’s ready.” Doris rose and gathered her

  things. “She always does.” She kissed Wes on the cheek. “You’ve

  always done more than you were asked, and you’ve always been asked

  a great deal. They couldn’t have chosen anyone better. We love you.”

  “Thanks,” Wes said, her throat tight as she hugged her mother and

  sister good-bye. “I love you all too. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

  She had a couple of hours before she was due to meet Emory and

  Dana at the Black Fox. She would have canceled, but she knew Emory

  would hound her for her reasons. And what could she say? She was

  beat after a lousy night’s sleep when she couldn’t stop thinking about

  a woman who disordered her orderly world—a woman she’d be much

  better off not thinking about at all? No. She’d go out with her best

  friend and her lover and do her damnedest to put her night with Evyn

  in the past.

  She headed to the House. Work might not be everything, but it was

  everything she’d always had. Work had always defined her—her goals,

  her sense of self, her pleasure, and often her pain. There was comfort in

  the familiar, and as her family drove out of the city and the loneliness

  seeped back and lay heavy in her throat, she needed a little comfort.

  v

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  Oath Of hOnOr

  The door opened behind Evyn and she didn’t bother to turn around,

  saying to Gary, “You’re early.”

  “For what?” Wes said.

  Evyn jerked and twisted in her seat. She hadn’t expected to see

  her—they didn’t have anything scheduled. Just the night before, she’d

  submitted her report to Tom. The long and short of her assessment was

  that Wes was not just qualified, she was an excellent choice to head the

  WHMU from an operational standpoint. She worked well with a team,

  didn’t buck the chain of command, and knew when to take charge when

  medical issues demanded. She didn’t have an excuse to spend extra

  time with Wes any longer. “Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  Wes, in dark trousers and a pale blue shirt open at the throat, stood

  just inside the door, looking better than Evyn remembered, and she’d

  been remembering a lot. The instant her eyes had opened that morning,

  like most every morning, she’d thought of Wes. Wondered what Wes’s

  day would be like, if she’d moved yet—if she needed help. If she’d

  call. And in her next breath, she’d remembered how she’d lain in the

  dark torturing herself—rekindling the fire Wes’s hands had ignited in

  her belly, savoring the slow buildup while replaying the sound of Wes’s

  murmurs in her ear, her low moans, the quick gasp as she orgasmed.

  She’d fallen asleep on the crest of her own orgasm with the memory

  of Wes’s mouth moving over her skin, so knowing and so sure. She’d

  awakened ready for another and would have indulged again if her cell

  phone hadn’t vibrated with a message from base advising her she was

  needed to fill in because POTUS had decided to go OTR. At the sight

  of Wes, the low-level arousal that she had lived with all day, every day,

  leaped to life. She worked on sounding casual. “Did you get moved?”

  “Just this morning.” Wes headed for the coffeepot, poured a cup,

  and gestured with it toward Evyn. “Refill?”

  “I’m good.”

  Wes put the pot back and gathered herself. She hadn’t expected

  to see Evyn, and the surge of pleasure at fin
ding her there took her by

  surprise. “I thought you were off today.”

  Evyn shook her head with a wry grin. “POTUS decided to go

  Christmas shopping.”

  Wes rested against the counter and sipped her coffee.

  “Something tells me that isn’t your most favorite thing.”

  • 207 •

  RADCLY fFE

  “Unscheduled trips are about our least favorite. No advance

  planning, lots of civilians, way too much exposure.” Evyn laughed.

  “We like things to be orderly, controlled, planned out.”

  “Sounds a lot like my life,” Wes said.

  “Well, you know what happens when all that goes out the window,”

  Evyn said softly.

  Wes set her coffee aside. Evyn’s eyes were so dark, so deep, Wes

  couldn’t look away. The pull on her body to move closer, to touch, was

  nearly irresistible, and she gripped the counter to keep herself in place.

  “Dangerous.”

  “And scary.”

  Wes had been scared plenty in her life—scared of what would

  happen to her family when her father died, scared of what would happen

  if she didn’t get a scholarship, scared of who might pay if she failed to

  do her job in the classroom or the field. She’d countered that fear by

  working harder and longer until she was absolutely certain the outcome

  was in her control. She didn’t leave room for failure. “Sometimes being

  scared forces us to be stronger—better.”

  “Oh, no question. Nothing like a challenge to make us dig deep,

  find out what we’ve really got.”

  “And who we really are?” Until recently, Wes had known who she

  was and what she wanted. Now she wasn’t so sure.

  “That too, sometimes.”

  “This is crazy, you know that, right?” Wes murmured.

  “Maybe. Probably. I told Tom you were right for the job and field

  ready.”

  “Did you.” Wes slid her hands into her pockets, crossed her

  anklesEvyn swallowed. “Mmm. Last night.”

  “So I guess I’m not a squid anymore.”

  “Nope.” Evyn laughed.

  “No more sims?”

  “’Fraid not.”

  Wes smiled. “I’m not.”

  “No—I imagine you’ll be glad to be done with our daily dates.”

  “You too, I imagine.”

  “Not so much,” Evyn murmured.

  Wes knew exactly what she should do to extinguish the possibilities

  • 208 •

  Oath Of hOnOr

  that seemed to be growing without any intention on her part. She knew

 

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