A Teaspoon of Trouble

by Shirley Jump

  All these years, Carolyn had never thought she wanted that life. That she was happiest in a hectic kitchen, concocting elaborate dishes for discerning diners. But there was something so…simple and sweet about Emma’s damp head on her shoulder that made the Manhattan kitchen seem a million miles away. This was what Sandy had loved, what had made Sandy smile, and what had underlined all that joy in her sister’s voice. This was what Carolyn would have going forward—because Sandy would never have these moments again. The pressure to do right by Emma, to be the guardian she needed, mounted in Carolyn. “So, what kind of story do you want me to tell?”

  “Am I gonna like New York?”

  The question took Carolyn by surprise. “I’m sure you will. It’s really busy. And there are lots of big buildings and trains and taxi cabs.”

  Emma raised her gaze to Carolyn’s. Her eyes were wide and curious. “Did my mommy like New York?”

  Sandy had only visited Carolyn a couple of times before Emma was born. Her visits had been short, and she’d complained about the noise and the claustrophobic feel of the crowded city. In New York, Sandy had seemed to wither; while here, she had flourished. “Not a whole lot. She really loved it here and in Wyoming where you lived.”

  Emma thought about that for a second. “Can I see the stars there too?”

  “Yup. The sky is the same no matter where we live.”

  Emma was quiet for a minute. She fiddled with the button on Carolyn’s shirt. “Do you like New York?”

  “I’ve lived there a long time.” That didn’t answer Emma’s question, but the truth was, Carolyn didn’t know. She used to think she loved New York, but the closer she got to leaving Marietta, the less she wanted to go.

  For the first time since Carolyn had found out she was Emma’s guardian, she began to question whether New York City was what Sandy would have wanted for her daughter. Sandy had loved the open air, friendly neighbors, and warm world of Marietta. Something she said she’d found in the small Wyoming town where she’d later settled with her husband. It’s a great place to raise a kid, Sandy had said. The kind of place where kids can bloom.

  Returning to New York and taking over as head chef was the best thing for Carolyn’s future. But was it the best for Emma’s?

  “I’m gonna try to be happy there, Aunt Carolyn,” Emma said softly, and guilt rolled through Carolyn’s gut. “I’m gonna try real hard.”

  *

  Matt had screwed up.

  He’d won the competition, beat out his friends and neighbors with the best cookies in Marietta, helped raise a bunch of money for Harry’s House, and managed not to burn down Marietta High in the process. But his mind wasn’t on the successful afternoon, or the congratulatory texts and emails he’d gotten in the last couple hours.

  It was on the woman he still loved.

  The same woman he had run off for a second time in his life.

  He never should have said that about being in love with her. If there was one thing that would make Carolyn bolt, it was the hint of a commitment. Of being tied down to anything, especially this town.

  He went home, let the dog out, took a short run, but none of it erased the regret twisting in his gut. So he took a shower, gave Harley an extra dog bone for the extended absence, then climbed in his car.

  It was late by the time he arrived on the doorstep of Carolyn’s parents’ house. A light burned in the kitchen, and he could see Carolyn’s slim figure standing by the sink. He drew in a deep breath, rang the bell, and mentally practiced what he wanted to say for the hundredth time.

  She pulled open the door, and her face brightened with surprise. He took that as an auspicious beginning. “Matt. What are you doing here so late?”

  “I need to talk to you. Before you leave.” He took a step forward, praying she wouldn’t close the door, wouldn’t shut him out again. That what he had felt in his bedroom just hours ago was real, buildable. “Ten years ago, I let you leave and I didn’t put up a fight. I was scared back then that if I asked you to stay, you’d always be unhappy and you’d blame me. So I let you go, thinking you’d come back someday. I should have gone after you, shouldn’t have given up so easily.”

  “Nothing would have changed my mind back then, Matt.”

  He agreed. She’d been stubborn and determined, which was part of why he loved her. “Well, hopefully something will this time. I love you and I want to marry you, Carolyn. I want to have that life that we missed out on a decade ago. I want to help you raise Emma and train Roscoe and learn how to make a pie and a cake. But most of all, I want to spend every day of my life with you.”

  So much for not saying the things that scared her. But all in was far better than standing here wishing he’d said it.

  She shook her head. “Matt—”

  He could see her getting ready to shut the door, to shut him out again. He shifted closer, nudging at that stubborn wall around her heart. “Don’t say no. Not yet.”

  She stood there for a long time, letting the cold air into the house. Roscoe nosed around Carolyn’s legs and nudged Matt for some attention. Carolyn sighed and opened the door wider, which Roscoe took as an invitation to plow into Matt’s hip. “Come in. I want to show you something.”

  He hoped like hell it wasn’t her packed suitcase.

  He followed her inside, Roscoe padding along at his side, panting and excited to see his friend here. Matt gave Roscoe a good ear rub when they stopped in the kitchen.

  Carolyn put her back to the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “I packed my bags tonight.”

  Disappointment sank in him like a stone. He was already too late. He should have known better. Nothing he had said or done in the last two weeks had changed anything. “Are you leaving earlier than you planned?”

  “That was what I was thinking, yes. Get up, eat some breakfast, and get in the car.” She fiddled with the folded dish towel beside her. “I thought the best thing to do was get back to my schedule and my job.”

  He heard the resolve in her voice. He’d heard that tone before, ten years ago. Why had he thought he could change her mind?

  “I thought that was best,” she repeated, going on before he could reply. “Then I saw this on the fridge.” She motioned toward two colored pictures hanging on the fridge.

  The first was the glittery version of Roscoe that they had made in the library a few days ago. A time that already seemed like another lifetime. The second was a rough sketch of several stick figures and a couple round brown things with legs, labeled with the names of Emma’s family, his own name, and both dogs’ names.

  “Emma made that one this morning,” Carolyn said, pointing to the second picture. “She gave it to my dad, and told him she wanted her whole family to be together for the cookie contest. The brown lumps are the dogs and those little brown circles are cookies.”

  He chuckled. “Looks about like the kind of cookies I’d make before you came along and taught me how to bake.”

  Carolyn took the picture off the fridge and stared at it for a long time. “This is the family Emma has now. All the family she has. All the family I have.”

  “I’m sorry about Sandy, Carolyn, I really am. She was an incredible sister and I’m sure she was a great mom.” He could only imagine how hard it would be for him if his brother died. He knew Carolyn and Sandy had been really close. This was a loss that would be felt every day forward.

  “She was the best mom, Matt. The kind of mom every woman wants to be. The kind of mom every kid deserves to have. And she left Emma with me—” Carolyn smacked at her chest “—the one person who has no motherly instincts at all.”

  “I don’t know about that. You seem to have connected pretty well with her since you got here.” He thought of how tenderly she spoke to Emma, how hard she had tried at the library, how she had kept Emma’s dog, even though the dog was untrained. And Emma looked at her aunt with love, and a clear need to be close to her.

  Carolyn sighed, then put the picture back on the re
frigerator. “My dad told me yesterday that he might have lost a daughter but he still has his family, and that he wasn’t going to let his grief keep him from them anymore.”

  Matt was glad to hear that. He had noticed a difference in Carolyn’s father at the Bake-Off. He’d always been a good man, one devoted to his family. And now, undoubtedly devoted to his only grandchild.

  “It wasn’t until I packed my bags and set them by the door that I realized you were right.” Carolyn took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I am running away.”

  A spark of hope lit inside him. “What are you running from, Carolyn?”

  “From what I see in this picture. From what I see in your eyes.” She crossed to the sink. She braced her hands on either side and stared out into the darkness beyond the window. “Sandy was the family one, you know. The one who was always good at that. I told myself I wasn’t. That I couldn’t connect like she could, but the truth was, I was afraid.”

  He came up behind her but didn’t touch her. “Afraid of what?”

  “Afraid of losing the people I love. When my grandpa died, I shut down. I buried myself in cooking, because I told myself that was the best way to honor his memory. And in the process, I disconnected from my parents, from Sandy. All these years, I’ve blamed them for that distance, when I was the one who put it there in the first place. And when Sandy died, and left Emma to me, I wanted to run away from that responsibility. From those expectations. I kept telling myself that what I was best at was being in a kitchen, not in a family.”

  He could hear the pain and regret in her voice. He moved closer, covered one of her hands with his own. She leaned against him for a moment. “Oh, Carolyn, you’re good at so many things.”

  Carolyn straightened, and paused to draw in another deep breath. “But not at relationships. I always held a part of myself back, even with you, because I was afraid of losing it all. Then Emma came into my life, a little girl who has lost everything—her parents, her home, her world—and she’s still connecting and loving and trying. And believing in family, even if it’s not the same.”

  “Family is what you make it, Carolyn.” He rubbed the back of her hand. He could see how hard this was, being vulnerable, open. Letting him in. “Whether it’s with blood relatives or with friends.”

  “It wasn’t until Emma said to me that she was going to really try to be happy in New York that I realized the price I was making her pay, all because I was afraid. A four-year-old girl was braver than me.” Carolyn turned and faced him. “Emma was willing to try, to give up all that she knew a second time, just because I didn’t want to change.”

  They were only a breath apart, so close he could kiss her if he wanted to. But he held back, still not sure where they stood.

  “I don’t want to be afraid anymore, Matt. I don’t want to miss out on my family. I don’t want to miss out on…” a smile flickered on her face “…us.”

  He took a breath. Had he heard her right? “Us?”

  “I ran away from you once before and I’ve regretted it ever since. I don’t want to do that again.” She paused, and a smile slid across her face, lit her eyes. “I love you, Matt. I always have.”

  His heart soared. He had waited to hear those words for a decade. To have Carolyn back in his life, for now. For good? “I love you, too. I never stopped.”

  “I wasn’t really happy in New York. I missed the open air, this silly little town…” she waved at the window, and the sleepy Marietta beyond the glass “…and I missed you.”

  “Then stay, Carolyn. Don’t go.”

  “Staying means changing everything.” Doubt filled her eyes, trembled in her voice. “And I’m still scared, Matt. Scared I’ll screw it up. Scared I’ll be a terrible mother to Emma. Scared that I’m not going to be what you want.”

  He laughed, then cupped her jaw. He waited until her gaze met his before he spoke again. His stubborn, determined, smart but vulnerable Carolyn. “You’ve been everything I wanted since the day I met you. I told you, I don’t need June Cleaver. I need the one woman in the world who challenges me to be better today than I was yesterday. The woman brave enough to move across the country at eighteen, then strong enough to work her way up to head chef at one of the best restaurants in New York. And if you still want to do that, Carolyn, then I’ll pick up and move there, too. Last I checked, they need veterinarians in Manhattan, too.”

  On the drive over here, he’d decided that being with Carolyn was more important than anything else. He’d been prepared to move for her, to do whatever it took to keep Carolyn in his life. “I made the mistake of not going after you once before, and I’m not doing it again.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want you to move to New York.”

  His heart sank, but before he could say anything, she put a finger over his lips.

  “Because I’m not going back there. Well, I am, but I’m not staying.” The smile curved across her face again, and the hope that had been a seedling in Matt’s chest grew into a full-on bloom.

  “You’re not? What about your job?”

  “I called my boss and told him I’m not taking the promotion. I need to go back there for a few days, tie up loose ends, move out of my apartment. And I need to go to Wyoming sometime and deal with Sandy’s house.”

  “We could go together,” he said.

  A smile curved across her face. “I’d like that.” They shared a quiet moment, of connection, of understanding, then she went on. “Finally today, I called the owner of Rocco’s and asked to be interviewed for the head chef job. I don’t know if I’ll get it, but if I don’t, then maybe I’ll open my own restaurant. Or maybe I’ll start a catering business. Something that’s flexible enough to allow me to have that.” She waved toward the picture again. “The family I secretly always dreamed of having.”

  He glanced at the picture, then back at her. He could see the sincerity in her eyes, the determination. He had no doubt that Carolyn would approach being a mom the same way she approached everything—and in the process, she would be a wonderful mother. “You know, Roscoe is in that picture.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I know. I might need to get some more training for that dog first.”

  “I’d be glad to do that.”

  Carolyn sobered and looked up at Matt. “I was hoping you would be.”

  He took both her hands in his and drew her closer to his chest. Then he wrapped his arms around the woman he loved and held her tight. “I always thought this town was home, Carolyn, but the truth is, home is wherever you are. You’re the picture in my head, the life I always dreamed of having.”

  She peered up at him. “Then let’s start on that dream. I think ten years is long enough to wait, isn’t it?”

  He kissed her then, long and sweet. He loved the way she curved into him, the way she seemed tailor-made to fit against his body. He drew back but cradled her close. “You know, it’s ironic.”

  “What is?”

  “This all started because I needed your help in the kitchen. And here we are, agreeing to another new start, in another kitchen.” He peered down at her. “Do yo u think we have the right ingredients, Carolyn?”

  She raised on her tiptoes and gave him a light kiss. “I’m sure we do. But if we’re missing one, that’s okay. Because I love a challenge…and I love you.”

  “That’s one recipe I can follow.” She laughed, and he laughed, and they kissed again. Roscoe barked, Emma wandered sleepily into the kitchen, and they expanded their joy to hold Emma between them, with Roscoe sitting on his haunches, his tail wagging in happy approval.

  The End

  You’ll love the next book in the…

  Bachelor Bake-Off series

  Book 1: A Teaspoon of Trouble by Shirley Jump

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  Book 2: A Spoonful of Sugar by Kate Hardy

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  Book 3: Sprinkled with Love by Jennifer Faye

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  Book 4: Baking for Keeps by Jessica Gilmorer />
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  Book 5: A Recipe for Romance by Lara Van Hulzen

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  View the entire Bachelor Bake-Off series here!

  Enjoy an Exclusive Excerpt from

  A Spoonful of Sugar

  Book 2 in the Bachelor Bake-Off series

  Excerpt Copyright© 2017 Kate Hardy

  January

  Tyler frowned and sniffed the air. Was that burning he could smell?

  Oh, no. He made a dash for the kitchen, to discover smoke coming out of the stove. Three seconds later, the smoke alarm started shrieking.

  “Way to go, Carter. How to make the neighbors happy—not,” he said with a groan. He turned the stove off, then grabbed a dish towel so he could pull the cake out of the stove. The problem was obvious right away: the cake batter had spilled over the sides of the cake pan and the bits that had fallen onto the floor of the stove had burned. Great. So now he was going to have to clear that up, too, once the stove had cooled down.

  He dumped the cake pan on the stove top, then frantically flapped the dish towel underneath the smoke alarm in the hope that the air would stop it.

  Nope: it was still shrieking.

  What was he going to have to do to shut it up? Take out the battery?

  And if one of his neighbors called the fire brigade… Just no. He’d never live it down. Quite a few of the firefighters trained in Carter’s Gym—which was next to the Wolf Den dive bar in Marietta, opposite the fire station—and Tyler had a pretty good idea of the sort of jokes he’d have to put up with for the next six months if any of the fire crew found out about this.

  It had been bad enough last time, when he’d made grilled cheese for his lunch at the gym and forgot about it for just long enough to set off the smoke alarm. The fire crew had teased him for months.