Until Now (Not Yet #2)

by Laura Ward

  I dragged my hand closer to the waist of his pants, and his eyes flew back open. Big bad Dean looked like he was in pain. Or was he holding back with all that he had? Unable to tear my eyes away from his face, I took in the tension I saw and then the pleasure as I released him from his athletic pants. He was hard, but his skin was smooth as silk. It had been a long time since I had touched a guy, and Josh had been a boy, not a man. I started slowly, moving my hand from root to tip and then increased my pressure and speed when Dean’s breaths became heavy.

  “Grace, you’re perfect. Just like that, baby.” His mouth hung open, and I panted, unable to get enough air, from the erotic view in front of me. “God, that feels so good. I want you so bad.” He pressed his mouth together, suppressing his moan as he came. I slowed my strokes and kissed his chest, his neck, his jaw, and his lips.

  Dean took my face in his hands and kissed me for a long time. His eyes were full of devotion, and his mouth worshiped mine.

  There were no more words tonight. We had officially left the land of simple and were planted firmly in the world of complicated.

  Funny thing was, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Chapter Eleven

  Dean

  JON TAPPED MY shoulder, and I opened my eyes. “What’s up?” I asked as I pulled my earbuds out. We were on a bus, driving home from our game in Ohio. IU’s upset win over Ohio State made ESPN’s college halftime show. The left side of Coach K’s mouth had lifted into the shape of a grin when he heard, but the moment I registered his happiness, it was gone.

  “You decided to ignore what I asked and what Coach K demanded, huh?” Jon sat in the seat next to me, staring out the window.

  “What are you talking about?” I looked down at my phone where I had been texting with Grace for the past hour.

  “I asked you, for me, as your best fucking friend, to not get involved with a single mom. Coach K told you that football needed to come first. Before girls. Seems to me you’re thinking with your second head,” Jon said with a glare.

  I pressed my first head back onto the seat behind me. Damn. I still wasn’t ready to talk about Grace with Jon.

  “I know I pissed you off.” I turned to face him. “But give me a little credit, you know, as your best fucking friend, to not be like all the assholes your mom dated.”

  Jon crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not like those guys. I know that. But c’mon, man. Grace isn’t just any girl. She has a child. A boy who I’m sure already thinks you’re the shit. And facts are facts. You will be leaving Indiana to play football.”

  My phone dinged with an incoming text.

  Grace: Want to head over here tonight? We’re making ice cream sundaes.

  Jon read the text over my shoulder. “Ice cream sundaes? You used to party all night after a game like we had today. This is what you want, man?”

  I scrubbed my hand over my jaw. I didn’t blame Jon for asking questions. I’d done a complete one-eighty in the past couple of weeks. Hell, I hadn’t even had a hangover since I’d been spending all my free time with Grace. I was happy to choose ice cream over beer, and that surprised me. I could understand Jon’s concern. “You said it yourself. She has a kid, Jon. That means ice cream on a Saturday night instead of shots of Patrón. I’m okay with that.”

  Jon studied me for a minute. “Does she know you’ll be leaving soon? Does the kid?”

  I texted her back before I answered him.

  Me: Sounds good

  Extra cherries for me

  Anything red… :)

  “We haven’t discussed me moving, but she knows about the NFL. We’ll work it out, Jon. We haven’t made a formal commitment to each other. We’re taking it slow.”

  “Coach K know about this?” Jon asked.

  I half snorted. “Why should he? The only thing he asked is that I put football first. That’s what I’m doing.”

  Jon didn’t respond to that—he just stared out the window at the highway zooming past us for a few minutes. “I just don’t get why you want to date a girl with a child.”

  “Full disclosure, it would be easier if Grace was not a mom. I’m not an idiot. Finn complicates her life and mine now that we’re dating. But I like that little dude. I don’t mind complicated either. Jon, I dig her. I dig both of them. And Finn is her whole world, so he’ll be a big part of mine as long as we’re together.”

  Jon turned from the window and glared at me. What the fuck was his problem? He couldn’t let this go, and it was none of his goddamn business. He opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, focusing his attention back on the window and the world outside it.

  I put my earbuds back in and closed my eyes. I tried to focus on football and replay the game in my head, but my thoughts kept drifting to Red and Finn and their ice cream sundaes waiting for me back home.

  Two hours later I knocked on their door.

  Red answered, a sexy smile on her face. “Congratulations. You played great today.” She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed my lips.

  I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around her waist, lifting her off her feet. “All I could think about on the drive home was kissing your sweet mouth, right after you eat a bite of ice cream.” I kissed along her jaw and up to her ear, lightly biting the lobe. She moaned, her grip on my arms tightening. “Your tongue will be cold and sweet, and I’m gonna suck on it.”

  Grace leaned back, her eyes dancing as they met mine. “I’m gonna hold you to that. But right now, we have company, bad boy.”

  Shit. I was all geared up. I eased her off me, difficult as I now had a raging hard-on.

  “Dean!” Finn ran out of the kitchen holding an ice cream scoop and a jar of chocolate sauce. “You’re here! Mama said we had to wait to eat until you came. I’m so proud of you. You threw that ball right to your guy. And then touchdown!” He held up his hand, and I high-fived him.

  “Thanks, little dude. I’m starving after all that ball throwing. Let’s make some sundaes.” Finn dragged me into the kitchen to show me the row of sprinkles, whipped cream, and my favorite, cherries.

  Grace opened the freezer and pulled out one container of vanilla and one of chocolate ice cream. She opened the lids and then placed the chocolate sauce in the microwave.

  “Oh yes!” Finn giggled and clapped his hands. “This is such a treat. Mama only buys ice cream and toppings for real special times.”

  I looked sideways at Grace. She was busy pulling out bowls and spoons, organizing the assembly line and avoiding eye contact with me. I hadn’t even thought about the cost of treats like these. This was a big splurge for Grace and Finn.

  I bent down and focused on Finn. “What’s the special occasion today, little dude?”

  Finn’s eyes sparkled with happiness. “You, silly! Mama tried to think of a way to celebrate your win. This was my idea! I just knew it would be the best party ever if we had ice cream sundaes waiting for you.” He threw his arms around my neck and hugged me.

  I stood up, holding him to me and turned to Grace. “This is all for me?”

  She gave me a small smile. “You’re probably used to wild parties after your game, and I’m sure our version of thirty-one flavors doesn’t quite cut it. If you’d rather celebrate with your teammates, we understand. We just wanted to do something for you… from us.”

  Finn lifted his head off my shoulder. “From us!” He laughed and wiggled free. I set him down on the ground, and he grabbed a bowl. We stood at the counter, Grace doling out huge heaps of ice cream, piles of whipped cream, and thick warm spoonfuls of chocolate sauce. I added the cherries, placing three on the top of my sundae.

  Finn sat down in his chair and ate. “Dean?” he asked, a dribble of chocolate on his upper lip. Grace leaned over and wiped it with a napkin. “Isn’t this a great way to celebrate your big win?” He didn’t wait for my answer, he just dove back into his dessert.

  “It sure is, Just Finn,” I answered him and then looked across the table at Grace.

 
She thought I’d rather celebrate with my teammates, and so did Jon. The thing was, a night of beer and Patrón had never made me feel like this.

  I scooped a huge bite of ice cream and tapped my spoon against Finn’s. “Cheers, little dude.”

  “Cheers.” He giggled back.

  We sat at Grace’s table and ate together, the three of us, celebrating my win with the best ice cream sundaes I’d ever eaten.

  ***

  WHEN YOU’VE KNOWN your friends your whole life, you form traditions with them, just like you do with your family. At Thanksgiving, tradition had been that the Goldsmiths had their holiday dinner at noon. Then I would meet my friends at the lake, we’d grab a few beers, and go to Landon’s parents’ house for their formal, catered Thanksgiving party.

  Since Landon had pissed his parents off, both by falling in love and losing his scholarship to IU, we skipped the last part of the tradition. Now we would crash his girlfriend’s home and eat a second dinner with her family.

  What I hoped we never gave up was meeting at the lake. Today was freezing, and Jon, Ricky, and I were cold enough that we wore hats, jackets, and gloves. The gloves were mostly so we could hold our beer cans without getting frostbite.

  “Where the fuck is pussy boy?” Jon leaned back against my truck, slamming his beer back.

  Ricky laughed. “Land’s on his way. Chill out.”

  I grabbed a beer and popped the tab. “I think he and Emma flew in late last night from Cali. They’re probably beat.”

  We turned at the sound of gravel crunching. An old-as-shit Honda approached, and Landon jumped out of the driver’s seat, hurrying over for one-armed man hugs and slaps on the back.

  “Nice ride. Bet you’re missing your truck back in Cali.” I handed him a beer, and he rolled his eyes with a nod.

  “Dean, watch it. My car isn’t fancy like the trucks you boys have, but it works.” Emma walked over with a smile and hugged each of us.

  Emma was hot. That was undeniable. When she was hired to teach at our high school right out of college, we were stoked. Economics was much more fun when you looked at a gorgeous blonde with great knockers. What none of us ever anticipated was that she and our boy Landon had been hooking up all summer. Of course that was only because Landon had lied about his age, but still. Landon would always be a legend in our group.

  Amy exited the backseat and walked over.

  “Amy! Hey!” I hugged her, and Jon and Ricky waved. “I thought you were in Bloomington?”

  Emma bent her head to the side and watched us. She was protective over Amy. She had been since she took her on as her teacher’s aide. I thought it was cool as shit that they stayed friends even after Emma and Landon moved to California.

  “My parents and I came home to be with the rest of our family. My aunt and uncle are hosting dinner.” She smiled and adjusted her glasses. “I am looking at apartments for next year. When my dad’s job ends, we will move back home. I am going to share a place with some friends.”

  “That’s sweet, Amy.” Jon held up his beer can in acknowledgment, and Emma frowned. “Sorry, Ms. Harris.”

  “Ugh! Cut it out, Jon. You know damn well that I’m not your teacher anymore.” She stomped her foot in frustration, and we laughed.

  I turned back to Amy. “Will you work at another preschool?”

  Emma narrowed her eyes. “Dean, how do you know where Amy works at IU?”

  Amy giggled, holding her hand over her mouth. “You want to tell her or should I?”

  I winked at Amy. “Nothing to hide, Ms. Harris.” Emma punched my shoulder. “Ow.” I rubbed it and continued. “I’m dating a senior at IU, who has a son. He’s in Amy’s class.”

  Amy nodded with a proud smile on her face. Jon frowned and popped open another beer. Landon stood behind Emma, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. They spoke at the same time.

  “You’re dating?” Landon asked mouth agape.

  “You’re dating someone with a child?” Emma screeched.

  Ricky hooted. “We’re all thinking the same thing. You’re still a damn kid yourself, Dean.”

  I saluted Ricky with my middle finger. “Settle down. Grace is awesome, and so is Finn. She’s a fantastic mom. She goes to school full time, works at Maria’s Diner, and raises Finn. Yeah, we’re dating. So what?”

  Landon still hadn’t shut his damn mouth, but Emma’s face had softened into a grin. Jon stepped forward, pointing at me. “You know what the problem is. You’ll leave them. And when you do, you’ll hurt her, but more importantly, you’ll also be hurting that kid.”

  An awkward silence surrounded us.

  “You are not going to hurt them, right Dean?” Amy’s face was contorted in confusion.

  Shitballs.

  “No, Amy. I’m not.” I glared at Jon, and he rolled his eyes and leaned back against my truck.

  “Is this serious, man?” Landon asked and took a drink of his beer.

  I frowned. Yes, it was serious. But it wasn’t Emma and Landon serious. We weren’t in love. We weren’t moving away together. I cared about her and Finn, but things were still new with us. I wasn’t sure how to answer.

  “Getting there.” I kicked at a rock with my boot. “I really like her. And Finn too.”

  “Is there a dad in the picture?” Emma asked quietly. She had told me last year that she had no relationship with her father, so this was a real soft spot for her.

  My lips pursed before I answered. “No.” They didn’t need to know the details.

  Amy rubbed her mittened hands together. “I feel sad for them today.”

  I stopped breathing and took a step forward. “Why, Amy?” I had spoken to Grace on the phone this morning. She sounded quiet, but fine.

  Amy’s eyebrows pinched together. “You know why. ’Cause they are alone.”

  I looked at my friends, my mind racing. Jon straightened and glared back. Emma and Landon exchanged worried glances. “She told me this morning she was getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner with her family.”

  Amy touched the base of her neck and paused. “Oh no. Maybe I should not have said anything. I am sorry.” She looked at Emma, and Emma walked over, wrapping her arm around Amy’s shoulder.

  “I think you need to tell Dean what you know, Amy.” Emma looked down at her friend and then at me. Pity. She had pity in her eyes. “Dean cares about Grace and Finn, so if they’re sad, he’ll want to know.”

  Amy nodded. “I do not know why, Dean, but Grace has no family but Finn. She never sees her parents. I know she and Finn are alone on all the holidays. Finn told me one time at school. He cried and asked Santa to bring him a family. Last year all he asked for was a daddy and a grandma and grandpa with white hair.” Amy’s chin wobbled at the end.

  My heart slammed in my chest. “FUCK!” I roared, slamming my beer can down on the ground.

  Amy jumped, and Emma hugged her. “You did the right thing saying something, Amy.”

  Landon stepped forward. “What’re you gonna do?”

  I reached into my pocket and grabbed my keys. Thank God I’d only had one beer. “What am I gonna do? I’m gonna go be with them!” I shouted, running to my truck.

  “Drive safe!” Emma yelled, and as I passed, Landon squeezed my shoulder. His silent nod made my chest tighten.

  I was going to take care of my girl and her boy.

  ***

  BLOOMINGTON WAS ONLY sixty miles away, and that was a good thing. The campus was dead with everyone gone for the holiday, so I parked close to Grace’s building. The smell of turkey filled the hallway, and I stopped to catch my breath before knocking on her door. I didn’t want to scare her, but I was feeling out of control. I was devastated that she and Finn were alone. I was destroyed she hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me this. And I was furious that I didn’t know how to fix the problem.

  I knocked on the door. I heard Finn call to his mom and her ask him to wait. Then the door opened, and there she was.

  She took my breath away. Sh
e was dressed simply, in jeans and a gray sweater, her hair piled on her head in a messy bun, and her brown glasses on her face. Beautiful. Perfect.

  “Dean,” she gasped and immediately blushed. As overwhelmed as I felt, I couldn’t hold back a smile. Her skin turning pink or red was one of the most adorable things in the whole damn world.

  “Can I come in?” I asked, and she opened the door wide.

  “Dean!” Finn ran over and wrapped his body around one of my legs. “Mama! We have company for turkey dinner!”

  I swallowed against the rock in my throat. Why was life so fucking unfair sometimes? I looked up into Grace’s eyes. They shone with tears behind her glasses.

  I grabbed on to her hand and squeezed. “You have room for one more at the table?”

  She choked back a sob and nodded. “Of course.” I enveloped her in a hug, and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

  I moved my mouth to her ear. “You and I need to talk later, okay?” I felt her head nod, but she didn’t speak, nor did she let go.

  I didn’t want to let go either.

  ***

  “WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE food to eat at Thanksgiving?” I asked Finn as Grace sliced the pumpkin pie. Her dinner was nothing like the one my family had. My mom cooked for days, and she fed thirty people. Grace had cooked a turkey breast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, and a pumpkin pie. Everything was from scratch and completely delicious, but it was simple. Instead of a prayer, Grace had asked us each to say what we were grateful for.

  “My mama. She loves me and feeds my belly.” Finn proclaimed.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m grateful to be here with both of you.” I looked at Finn first and then at Grace, hoping she could see how much I meant those words.

  Grace took a sip of the wine I ran out and bought right before dinner. I used the excuse that my mom would never let me join another family for dinner empty-handed, but I wanted to make Grace’s dinner special for her. She took care of Finn, but who took care of her?