Sweet Silken Bondage

by Bobbi Smith

  Luis knew he should have felt relieved that Nathan wanted to go through with the plans that had been made. It meant that the rancho would be safe. But even as he rejoiced inwardly at the good fortune, he couldn't help but feel there was something far more sinister behind his determination.

  "I am looking forward to it, just as I've always been," Luis replied, trying to ignore the sense of alarm that was growing within him.

  "Good," he said coolly. "You'll keep me informed?"

  "Yes."

  Nathan started from the house. "I'll be expecting to hear from you soon."

  When he had ridden off, Luis remained standing in the foyer, lost deep in thought. He was developing a great dislike for Nathan. There was something about the man... something about his arrogance and the way he pushed, that set his nerves on edge. For a moment, he considered that possibly Reina had been right in her judgment of him, but he pushed that troublesome thought away.

  Luis knew he should be pleased with the way things turned out. The worst thing he had feared could happen, had happened. Nathan had found out that Reina had fled. Yet, despite the revelation, the repercussions he'd expected from him after learning the news, hadn't occurred. Nathan had been angry, but not enough to call off their arrangement. Luis told himself that things were going to work out fine, yet even as he tried to convince himself, there was an edge of hesitancy to his conviction.

  Nathan was filled with rage and a violent ugly hatred for Reina as he rode for Monterey. Had he been able to get his hands on her right then, he might have strangled her. It infuriated him that she would run away like this and risk damaging his reputation. He could hardly wait for her to return so he could show her just how he expressed his displeasure with people who crossed him.

  A cruel smile thinned his lips as he imagined the punishment he would mete out on her sweet, young body. He was a master at inflicting pain in ways that never left any marks or scars. He was going to enjoy every minute of her suffering. She deserved that and more, but he had to be careful. Humili ated though he might be by her defection, he still had a larger goal in mind. He wanted Rancho Alvarez, and he intended to have it, even at the cost of being forced to marry the recalcitrant Reina.

  At least, Nathan reflected as he reached the outskirts of town, Alvarez had had sense enough to keep quiet about her disappearance. No one else besides the bounty hunters knew that she'd fled, and no one else ever would. He would see to that.

  Tense and aggravated, he changed his mind about returning to work and urged his horse in the direction of Lilly's place instead. She somehow always knew just what to say and do to ease his moods. As angry as he was, he knew a relaxing visit with her was just what he needed.

  Clay's mood was as dark as his expression as he strode the deck of the ship carrying them north to Monterey. It would only be a matter of days until they made port, and though he should have been thrilled at the prospect of almost being done with Alvarez, he was not. Nothing was right in his life any more.

  No matter how hard he'd tried since they'd made love that last night in Panama City, Clay could not deny that he cared about Reina and that he wanted her with a nearly consuming passion. She was a fire in his blood.. .an addiction from which he feared he would never be free. Every time he was close to her, he could barely stop himself from taking her. Somehow, he had managed not to touch her since they'd boarded, but it had taken a major effort of will on his part, especially since they'd been forced by circumstances to share a cabin again.

  Clay knew that if he made love to Reina again, he would never be able to let her go, and that was an impossibility. Dev's life hung in the balance. He had to take her back. He had to.

  That realization was upsetting enough for him, but the change in Reina, herself, since they'd left Panama, had affected him even more. No longer was she his arch rival, fighting and sparring with him as she constantly matched wits with him and tried to get the upper hand. Now, Reina had finally done what he'd told her to do. She'd accepted the inevitable. She'd realized he'd won, and that it was over. But in accepting the truth of her situation, she'd become withdrawn, defeated. She avoided him as much as possible and talked to him only when necessary.

  Clay knew he should be glad, for it took some of the pressure off him, but instead it left him wracked with guilt. Her spirit seemed to have been crushed. She refused to argue with him. She quietly acquiesced to whatever he wanted, and it was driving him crazy. He wanted her to be her usual vibrant self, not this icy, reserved, distant woman, who was eating little and sleeping even less. Several times during the nights since they'd been at sea, he'd awakened to find her out of bed, standing at the cabin's window, staring expressionlessly out at the sea. Her mood disturbed him. He wanted to help, but knew he couldn't. He had a responsibility, a duty. He had to save Dev.

  Clay paused at the rail, frustrated and tired. He didn't like situations where he wasn't in complete control. He raked a hand nervously through his hair as he glanced in the direction of the companionway that led to their cabin. He thought about returning there, but immediately dismissed the thought. It was torture chamber enough at night, far better that he spend as much time as possible away from her.

  The hours were passing far too slowly for Clay, though. The prospect of a stiff drink and some male conversation to distract him sounded particularly enlightening, so he headed for the men's saloon.

  Reina was sitting on the bed brushing out her hair, trying to come to terms with the inevitability of her future. It was the same struggle she'd had within herself night and day since they'd left Panama City, and she knew that no matter how hard she tried, it would never get any easier for her to accept. She was going home. She would be forced to marry Nathan. She would live the rest of her life at Rancho Alvarez with a man she didn't love and couldn't bear to be near.

  In her mind, Reina tried to picture herself living a happy contented life with Nathan and making love with him. The thought left her shuddering in revulsion. Now that she'd known true bliss with Clay, how could she ever give herself to another man?

  Thoughts of Clay besieged her then. He had made no attempt to touch her since the voyage had begun, and his obvious lack of interest only made her realize all the more how little she really meant to him. He did not care for her, and he never had. Money was the only thing important to him... just money.

  Her misery complete, Reina set aside her brush and went to the small trunk that held her things. Impatiently, she dug through until she found the one item that Emilie had included that had surprised her when she'd first discovered it...the rosary from the nun's habit. She stared down at it, wondering if prayer could really help her now. She wondered, too, if she should consider a vocation ... if a vocation could be a way out. As soon as she had the thought, she denied it. A religious life couldn't be used as an escape route. It was something much finer and more dedicated than that, and she knew she was not cut out for that life. She had to face reality. She went to her knees and began to ask, humbly, for guidance, help and the strength she was going to need to get through the coming days.

  Clay was feeling no pain as he returned to their stateroom long hours later. He had had more than his share of the saloon's fine bourbon, and numb as he was, he hoped that at least tonight he would get a good night's sleep. He needed one.

  Reina heard him fumbling with the lock. Surprised by the trouble he seemed to be having opening it, she glanced up curiously when he finally came in. Of all the things she'd come to expect out of Clay, being so drunk he could barely walk wasn't one of them.

  The stubborn lock had agitated Clay. He'd never had any trouble with it before, and he wondered why it had refused to budge now. When he finally entered the cabin, he was still a little annoyed and shut the door with extra force behind him.

  The sight that greeted him as he turned into the room caused him to pause just inside the door. Reina was sitting on the bed clad only in her nightgown, the covers demurely pulled up across her lap, her dark, lustrous hair tumb
ling gloriously down around her shoulders. A shaft of lightning desire jolted through him as his gaze dropped from her face to her bosom. The chaste gown she wore revealed nothing, but he remembered all too well the luscious curves beneath. Only by sheer grit did he manage to look away from her. He felt suddenly like an animal trapped in a maze, and he wondered dismally why he'd returned to the cabin so soon.

  Reina was so startled by the state of his drunkenness, that she spoke almost involuntarily, "You've been drinking."

  With pride, he lifted the bottle he'd carried with him, showing her that three quarters of the contents were gone.

  "All for a worthy cause, I assure you." His cause being a search for painless, temporary amnesia. He'd been trying to use the liquor to wash away her memory. He didn't want to think about the feel of her silken skin beneath his hands and her writhing body bucking under his. He discovered now, to his dismay, that his attempt had proven futile. The bourbon had only enhanced his recollections. His besotted brain was replaying them for him in a vivid, passionate sequence that pounded relentlessly at his control.

  For the first time in days, Reina's temper flared. She believed he was celebrating his triumph over her, and it stung. This victory he was so proud of would be the cause of untold misery for her. "I'm sure you believe your cause is worth celebrating."

  As if in salute, he took another drink. "And I'm not done yet."

  Needing to distract himself from thoughts of loving her, he pulled a chair over to the foot of the bed and sat down. Leaning back, he braced the chair on two legs and then rested his feet upon the bed, his long legs stretched out comfortably before him. He lifted the bottle to his lips again.

  "You're really happy that we're almost back to Monterey, aren't you?" Reina asked.

  "You have no idea" Clay answered. "You want a drink?" He held the bottle out to her, but she shook her head in refusal, her expression cold.

  "No. I have nothing to celebrate."

  "Not many of us do."

  "You do. Why, in just a few days, you'll have your big reward for bringing me back. That should make you real happy. After all, money is what you've always loved best."

  "Don't judge me by your standards, Reina. I find more value in loyalty and honor. You're the one who loves money."

  His accusation hurt, and she was embarrassed by the sudden rush of tears that burned in her eyes. "You're wrong about that, Clay, but then you've been wrong about a lot of things concerning me from the very beginning."

  She sounded so utterly sad and vanquished, that suddenly for the first time, Clay found he was questioning himself and his motives. Had he been wrong about Reina? He wrestled with the possibility, his heart softening toward her, his guard edging down. In a flash of agonized insight, he realized that what he felt for her had gone far past mere caring. He'd fallen in love with her.

  Yet even as he admitted to himself the truth of his feelings, he knew it was hopeless. Dev was depending on him. Downing the last of his bourbon, he righted his chair and stood up. Without a word, he strode from the stateroom, leaving Reina wondering why he'd gone.

  Though Reina had managed to keep her emotions under tenuous control for most of the trip, the sight of Monterey shattered what little composure she had left. She turned away from the stateroom window, glancing frantically around the jail-like confines of the cabin, her thoughts in chaos.

  Within the hour, they would be gone from the boat, and soon, very soon, she would have to face her father. .and Nathan. She imagined what would happen when they were finally reunited, and she shivered in dread. She clasped her hands nervously together to stop them from shaking. Staring around her in desperation, she knew there was only one last hope left to her... Clay. She had to tell him the truth. She had to tell him how she felt about him, even though she knew he probably wouldn't believe her and might even ridicule her and accuse her of trying to manipulate him again.

  As Clay strode down the companionway toward the stateroom, it seemed impossible to him that there were only minutes left before they could go ashore. The first week of the trip had been endless for him, but to his dismay, the last few days had flown by. He had wanted more time to think things through. He still had not resolved the conflict between his loyalty to Dev and his love for Reina, and no matter how hard he tried to reconcile the two, he remained torn. Grimly, he realized that there really was no choice open to him. He had to save Dev, his own feelings be damned.

  He paused outside the cabin, girding himself for the moment to come. He had to tell her that they had arrived. He had to tell her to pack the last of her things and prepare to go ashore. He would then accompany her out to the ranch where he would turn her over to her father. He grimaced inwardly at the thought of their parting, for he knew it was going to be the most difficult thing he'd ever done in his life. He didn't want to let her go, but there was nothing else he could do.

  "Reina, it's almost time for us to leave the boat," he announced as he let himself in.

  Reina was standing at the window, her back to him. She'd heard his approach and knew it was now or never. She faced him.

  "I know," she answered slowly, drawing a deep, fortifying breath. "Clay... there's something I have to say now before we go. It's something I should have told you long ago."

  "I think we've said about all there is to say, Reina." Clay didn't want to talk, he just,wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

  "No, we haven't even begun."

  She lifted her gaze to his, and the emotion he saw mirrored there surprised him. He frowned, puzzled and confused by the tenderness he'd read in her expression. His deeply ingrained mistrust immediately reared its ugly head, casting doubt on the small flicker of hope he'd felt.

  "Clay, I want to tell you the truth now before we reach Monterey. I want you to know how I feel."

  "There's really no need for this."

  "Oh, but there is," she said softly, going to him and putting a hand on his arm. "There's every need."

  Slowly, she leaned toward him and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. She drew back, smiling bittersweetly, and moved away.

  "Can't you feel it? Don't you know?"

  "Know what?" He watched her carefully, not quite sure what was happening. Reina had done nothing but declare how much she'd despised him from the very beginning, and now...

  "That I love you." There she'd said it. She watched and waited for a reaction from him, but when there was none, her heart sank.

  Clay was stunned by her declaration, and he had to force himself to keep his expression from revealing that surprise. He wanted to believe that she loved him. Oh, how he wanted to believe it, but why had she chosen this particular moment to tell him when they'd had weeks together?

  She's an actress! a little voice inside of him reminded. She'll do whatever she has to, to avoid going home! the voice taunted. Clay wanted to deny the warning, but she'd tried to trick him so many times before that it was difficult for him to be convinced of her sincerity this time.

  "Why are you telling me all this now?" He asked a bit angrily, torn up by the fight going on inside him.

  Reina went on slowly, "Because I wanted you to know. You see, when I get home, my father is going to force me to marry a man I don't loveNathan Marlow. The two of them arranged the marriage without even consulting me. When Father finally told me of his plans, I told him that I didn't love Nathan and wouldn't marry him. He refused to listen to me though, and no matter how hard I tried to explain that I wanted a love match like he'd had with my mother, he'd insisted that I go through with the wedding."

  The thought of Reina married to someone else stabbed at him.

  "That was when I decided to run away. I just couldn't spend the rest of my life married to a man whose very touch makes my skin crawl." Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "I didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. I think I've loved you ever since the day of the stage robbery." Reina was a proud woman, but she put her pride aside as she begged, "Clay, please, if what we've
shared has meant anything to you at all, don't take me back to my father."

  She sounded so earnest, that he felt himself wavering. He was caught between Dev's very life and his own happiness. "Reina, I can't go back on my word. I have to do this ...I..."

  Before he could say any more, a loud knock at the door sounded. It didn't matter to Reina, though, because she'd already heard his answer. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it. He didn't love her. He didn't care.

  Clay answered the door, expecting it to be someone from the boat. He was shocked when he came face to face with Luis Alvarez flanked by two big, burly ranchhands.

  "Alvarez!"

  Reina stiffened, her head snapping up as she heard the familiar sound of her father's voice.

  "Do you have my daughter, Cordell?" Luis demanded.

  "Yes, I've brought her back." He stood aside to let him enter.

  The old Californio stepped into the stateroom to find Reina standing across the room, regarding him with regal bearing, looking as lovely as ever. He'd been nervously anticipating her return, and he'd set men to watching the stage depots and the waterfront. He couldn't believe his luck that he'd happened to be in town on business today when the ship had arrived. He'd sent a man out to check with the captain to see if anyone by the name of Cordell or Alvarez had been on the passenger list, and he'd been thrilled to find that a Mr. and Mrs. Cordell were registered. He was anxious to make sure she was all right, and it pleased him to find that she seemed fine.

  "You're all right?"

  "I'm fine." Reina remained unmoving, her head held high as she met her father's gaze. She felt chilled to the very heart, for she knew any hope of happiness she'd ever had would be gone the moment she walked out of this room. A part of her wanted to cry for the loss, but the woman in her refused to show either man any weakness. Gathering the tattered shreds of her pride, she prepared to leave.

  "Here's your money, Cordell." Luis pulled a thick envelope from his coat pocket and offered it to him.