Sinner Reborn

by Morgan Kelley

  “Maybe it’s a coincidence.”

  Nate stared at him. “Do you really believe that?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “In the dreams, I can hear her telling me that once I see it again, I’ll remember everything.”

  “That’s totally weird, but I don’t see why it’s freaking you out.”

  “I was all over her in the dreams, and she was all over me.”

  “Um…okay. You’ve had sex dreams about our job. That could be a million times worse.”

  “Since I’ve seen her at my townhouse, I’ve been getting this feeling of déjà vu. It’s the little things that remind me of her, when they shouldn’t.”

  Luke tried to reassure his friend. “You know that everyone experiences that, right?”

  He shook his head. “The second I saw that tattoo, she said something to me.”

  Nate told him.

  “Okay, weird, but not the end of the world.”

  He didn't know how to get his friend to understand. “I’ve met her before in these dreams. She told us that’s what she does when she dream walks. She was giving me little clues. Avalon has saved me so many times, Luke. Each dream that I have, she’s there. Just as I feel like I’m going under, she saves me.”

  Luke hadn’t ever seen his partner this stirred up before. “Okay, breathe.”

  “So you’ve built an attachment to her based on a few wet dreams. Maybe you need to see Callie. She can talk you down from this.”

  It irritated Nate that Luke didn't understand. So, he didn't hold back.

  “She’s meant to be mine. Avalon is meant to be with me. I can feel it here.” His hand went to the tattoo over his heart.

  There.

  He said it.

  “I don’t know how I know it, but I do. I know it’s wrong. I should back away, but I feel drawn to her.”

  Luke stared at him. “Are you sure of that?”

  “Yes! I’m here for a reason, and that scares the shit out of me.”

  “Okay, so go be with her,” he stated. “There are risks, but with anything that matters, you’re going to have them. I love Maura, and she’s a damn handful. Today she killed two men, stole a car, and didn't even bat an eyelash. When you have feelings, you need to explore them.”

  “I don’t know if I can right now. I feel like I’ve been shaken and dumped out.”

  Luke patted him on the arm. “Okay, here’s what you need to do. Go get dinner, and then come back here. Maura and I will take shifts with Avalon tonight. When you’re ready to be near her, let me know. Until then, do what your gut tells you.”

  Nate closed his eyes.

  “I’m the job,” he whispered. “I’ve always been the job.”

  His friend understood. “In everyone’s life, there’s that one moment that defines us. It brings about change, Nate. You have to roll with it. I didn't think I’d be marrying a Marine who can take out two men with a silver knife and her boot, but hell… that’s what I got. Accept it and move on. This is the one time where you don’t want to overthink something.”

  He stood.

  “Am I losing my mind?” he asked. “Seriously. Do you think I’ve totally lost it?”

  He thought back to the conversation with Avalon where she knew about his mother’s necklace and his nickname. “No. I think she’s the real deal, and you need to let this play out. If you’re here for a reason, then so is she.”

  He took a deep breath. “I’ll be back.”

  Luke watched him leave. He’d never seen his friend this messed up in all his life. All he could hope was his best buddy would work his way through it. Luke knew what was on the line. He could see it in Nate’s eyes.

  Fate had a plan.

  After all, look at his life.

  * * * C a r t e r - G a i n e s * * *

  Elizabeth got the call from her team and knew it was time to update Gabe. It wasn’t like she wanted to, but there was no choice. If she didn't keep him in the loop, he’d freak out and ride everyone’s ass until they shared.

  So, she bit the bullet.

  Calling his phone, it went to voicemail. Her day was officially made. Not having to talk and share everything wasn’t a bad thing. Now, she could dodge his return call, buying them some time.

  The second she hung up the phone, her cell chimed.

  ‘I’m in a contract meeting. Update me here.’

  Well, shit!

  This sucked.

  So, instead of pretending she didn't get the message, since she knew he wouldn’t buy it, Elizabeth rattled off the bare minimum message.

  ‘We have two murder victims attached to Avalon’s family. My team is on the ground in Fredricksville working it right now. They spotted a team of para-military goons. I’ll advise later.’

  After hitting send, she got that uneasy feeling in her stomach. With a mole and security breaches, Elizabeth didn't like giving out any information period. Until they located the person playing in their files, it was dangerous, and she had an obligation to the people in her employ.

  ‘Keep me advised. If you hear from your team moving Oracle, let me know.’

  She didn't respond.

  Yeah, there was no way she was going to share anything on that. It wasn’t that she didn't trust Gabe, but something was bugging the hell out of her.

  Her gut was in a knot.

  Sitting in her chair, Elizabeth stared out the window. She needed to think. They had to be missing something.

  * * * C a r t e r - G a i n e s * * *

  After returning with dinner, Nate felt like a fool.

  It wasn’t like him to run like a coward, and he was ashamed that he let Avalon freak him out. In his long career with the FBI, he’d seen many things, and she shouldn’t have rattled his cage.

  The big problem was that he couldn’t separate personal from professional. For once in his life, the lines were being blurred. This was something that he needed to face. This was more than just a job, and deep down he knew it.

  Once he dealt with it, they could move forward. So, he did the only thing he could. He sent a text to Luke, asking them to swap places with him. When they arrived at the door, he could tell they were watching him.

  Luke must have told Maura about his melt down because the look on her face said it all.

  And that was fine. Nate completely understood that.

  They had a job to do, and he had briefly lost it. Their team was only as strong as the weakest link, and for that moment, it had been him.

  “I’m ready to take over,” he stated.

  “Are you sure?” Luke asked. “We don’t mind taking the night shift if you want to catch some downtime.”

  He shook his head. Nate knew he couldn’t run from this. Fate was driving this bus, and he wasn’t going to be a wuss about it. “I got it off my chest, and I’m ready.”

  Maura patted his arm. “You’re not the first one to get freaked out by Oracle. Most of my team started crossing themselves whenever she was near. She has a way about her that can rattle anyone.”

  That bothered him.

  Avalon wasn’t some freak. He’d never do shit like that around her. Nate knew that her heart should matter, and to him…it did.

  “Really, I’m good. I think I just needed to vent.”

  With that, he headed back to his room. When they closed the door, Luke shook his head. “He’s in denial about this whole thing. I’ve never seen him this twisted up.”

  Maura had issues with the situation. “He can’t get involved with her. She’s a job and nothing more. If he wants to do this long term, he has to think that way. It doesn’t matter that it sounds cold.”

  Placing his palms on her face, Luke stared deep into her eyes. “You don’t believe that, Maura. You know she’s so much more than that. You genuinely like her.”

  She didn't speak. “I hate when you play shrink. Stay out of my head.”

  He kissed her on the lips. “I see right through your attempt at being badass. You’ve got a he
art of mush when it comes to her, or you wouldn’t risk everything to transport her.”

  “Shut up.”

  He laughed. “Yes, Major Gaines.”

  Maura closed her eyes and released a sigh. “I want to help her get free,” she admitted, catching him off guard. “I hate having to watch her being used as some tool for the government. What happens to her if they ever decommission her? She’s not like a ship they can make into a museum. Avalon is giving up her whole life to do what’s right, and I get sick knowing we’re not doing the same.”

  Luke understood. “How do we set her free?”

  She laughed. “We don’t. The only way out is if they decide she’s useless, and then they won’t let her walk because she has too many secrets.”

  “You mean…?”

  She nodded.

  “Have faith, Maura.”

  It pained her, but she had to point out the obvious. “He’s going to get all tripped up over her. You can tell he’s going to do the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to do.”

  He dropped down on the bed. “And?”

  “Lucas!”

  “It’s not our job to lead him down his path in life, Maura. We’re his family and friends. We need to support his decisions and help him when he asks. If everyone told me not to chase you, where would we be?”

  She stared at him.

  “He took this assignment as his last one. He wanted a suicide mission, Maura. He’s my best friend and my brother by another mother. I’m not going to try and stop him from going after something that heals him. I can’t do it, and no matter how much I love you, you can’t make me do it either. We’ll let the chips fall and deal with the outcome later.”

  She snorted. “Remember you said that because on Oracle duty, the chips are actually landmines, and when they hit, they blow.”

  He pulled her down to the bed. “Why don’t we talk about something else? Maybe we should revisit the conversation we were having before Nate knocked.”

  “Lucas, you were trying to get in my panties.”

  When he wiggled his eyebrows, she laughed.

  “How about you let me get into them, Major?”

  Pulling her mouth down to his, Luke tried to convince his military girl that they should think about other things for a little while. When he finally released her from the kiss, Luke could tell from the flush across her flesh that he finally had her full attention.

  It was about time.

  “Okay, Lucas. Show me what you got.”

  And he did because no one said no to the major.

  * * * C a r t e r - G a i n e s * * *

  When he reentered the room, he found Avalon sitting on the couch staring straight ahead. It almost looked like she was in a trance of sorts.

  He wasn’t sure if he should bother her, or not.

  “I’m fine,” she offered, still not moving. “I suppose I owe you an apology,” Avalon said tersely. “I’m socially awkward, and I put you in a difficult situation. I never should have done it, and I hope you’ll forgive me. I really hope that it doesn’t make babysitting me more difficult for you.”

  She wished she had some experience with the opposite sex, but she was just a caged bird. What did she know about calling to a mate?

  He was appalled that she thought so little of herself. “I don’t see you as someone I’m babysitting, Avalon. Maybe that’s part of the problem. I don’t want you to be sorry. I’m not upset with what happened.”

  When Nate sat beside her, Avalon immediately shifted away from him. It spoke volumes. Even though she’d apologized, he’d hurt her feelings. Here, a beautiful girl had made a move on him, and he didn't get it.

  Nate had been too worried about his feelings, and his emotional baggage to care about hers. That was so very wrong, and he knew it.

  “You didn't freak me out. It was all about your tattoo. Can we talk about it?” he asked.

  “Are you going to run again?” she asked, turning to face him. “If you are, then it’s best we let it go.”

  Her vacant eyes appeared to watch him, and Nate opted to be honest with her.

  “I saw the tattoo and it rattled me. I started remembering the dreams. You’ve been giving me hints, haven’t you?”

  She shrugged.

  Nate noticed that she was shutting herself off from him. Her arms were wrapped around her body, and she was trying to escape somewhere.

  “Avalon, talk to me.”

  “Thanks for the dinner,” she said, blindly pointing at the bag on the table. “If you’re hungry, you can have it. I’m not in the mood.”

  He hated that he hurt her, especially after he promised that he’d never do that. Reaching out, he brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face, and she flinched. “How about we have dinner together?”

  She didn't answer. Instead, she uncrossed her arms and knotted her fingers together in her lap.

  He took that as his sign.

  Grabbing the bag, Nate pulled out the burgers. “You need to eat something.” It wasn’t lost on him that she was incredibly thin, and suddenly, he had the need to feed her.

  Protect her.

  Keep her happy.

  She closed her eyes. “Please don’t treat me like everyone else does. I made a mistake. I don’t want to feel like I’m a child because of it. I don’t want you to act like I need another mother.”

  “Avalon,” he began, but she stopped him.

  “You want to talk about the dreams? Well, fine! I’m guilty as charged. For all these months, I could feel your pain calling to me. It nearly brought me to my knees. I don’t know how I knew, but you were in my head begging for help, so I reached out and did what I had to do.”

  He listened to her.

  “You were on the verge of going under, so I did it to save you. If I didn't do it, Nathaniel, you’d be lost in it. Those clouds that chase you aren’t pain, they’re your death. The pain that’s living in you is so deep and dark, that I worry about you.”

  He didn't know what to say. “So you came to me.”

  “What choice did I have? You were like a wounded animal. I sought you out because I wanted to help take some of that hurt away. I know what it’s like to feel so empty that you’d rather be dead. I live it every day.”

  He saw the pain etched in her face. “For the record, Avalon, it was the tattoo that freaked me out, not that you were in my dreams. It all came rushing back, and I didn't know how to deal with it.”

  “It shouldn’t bother you. If anything, it should prove that we’re a set. I took a chance because your soul called to mine, and I was meant to be with you.”

  “Be with me? By that do you mean…?”

  She turned her head and her eyes were filled with unshed tears. “You had the dreams, Nate. I didn't. I just appeared in them to hold back what’s coming for you. They were your thoughts, and now you know what’s meant to be.”

  He didn't speak. He could still feel her fingers on his body in the dreams. Nate recalled all the loving looks they shared, and it didn't scare him.

  “I know that it’s creepy. I’m a freak, and you ran. You won’t be the first.” But he would be the last. Her ever dwindling life wasn’t meant to have anyone else in it but him.

  “So, if this is my fate, then what happens next?”

  Avalon ignored the food he’d placed on the table for her. Standing, she moved away from him. Being that close to him was hurting her. She wanted to move into his body, but he wasn’t ready for her. In fact, he might not ever be, and that was a risk she knew was out there.

  “That’s not something I control, Nathaniel. What happens now is solely up to you.”

  She crossed the room and climbed onto the bed. She needed to put space between them.

  “Avalon.”

  “Goodnight, Nathaniel. I’m tired. Sweet dreams. I’ll stay out of them.”

  He sat there in the silence of the room. He’d messed this up, and he didn't know how to fix it. In his life, there was no one to worry about but hi
mself. Yes, he had family and friends, but ultimately, he was his own responsibility. It had been that way for so many years.

  He was married to the job, and always would be.

  Then again, Avalon was the job.

  Nathaniel Carter couldn’t help but hope that somehow, she’d fit into his life.

  Could he navigate this disaster?

  He wasn’t sure. All Nate knew was if he didn't fix this, and fast, he was going to be alone in the darkness, and he didn't think he could survive that.

  * * * C a r t e r - G a i n e s * * *

  “What the hell do you mean that you’ve been spotted?” he shouted into the phone, as he flew back on his private jet. “How did that happen?”

  “Sir, we’re not here alone. We have the military on the ground. I could tell by his standard haircut and the shine to his boots.”

  “I don’t care if you have Jesus Christ there in Fredricksville, Clarence. I want you to make sure you take care of business. I paid you in advance, and that means you will deliver these services. Do I have to come back down there?”

  “Mr. Greene, you don’t have to get worked up. We have it under control. I promise you that we’re trying to locate the man we saw at the funeral. Once we do, we’ll find a way to get to him and stop his investigation.”

  “If he’s there, then you know who else is going to be digging around.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  It pissed him off that the FBI was working this case.

  “I need to find Avalon. You’re going to deliver. That’s the end of the discussion. I’ll call my contact at the FBI, and I’ll get you some information.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Now get me that freaking girl. How hard could this possibly be?”