Black Knight

by Svetlana Ivanova

  My aunt and her husband arrived home an hour later just as we were finishing up. Piper ran to hug her dad first, which reminded me of the dead relationship between me and my father. Our phone conversation still left a bitter taste in my mouth. Aunt Vikki just came and kissed each of us and smiled. She told us how relieved she was that the house was still standing. There was something about the way she didn't even miss a beat when it came to kissing me and hugging me that made me feel a whole lot better.

  They bought us each souvenir from the island and showed us tons of pictures. Robert talked about the trip when the twins asked how it went. They listened like a couple of well-behaved children. I went back to the kitchen and started setting the table. My aunt came in to help me. I pulled up the edge of a chicken enchilada with a fork to check the sides. Then I topped the remaining taco sauce and sprinkled with shredded cheese over it.

  At times, my aunt would look at me with scrutinizing gaze.

  "Are you feeling alright, Nina?" she asked. I looked up at her and gave her a smile and reassured her that I was pretty good, but there was still a flash in her eyes that meant she knew it better.

  I sighed.

  "Actually, my Dad called me just an hour ago," I told her, which caused my aunt to look up while arranging the silverware.

  "Oh, what did you say to him?"

  "Nothing much." I shrugged. It might as well mean 'nothing nice' to Aunt Vikki, but she just nodded.

  "You know you two are still family," she said. "Just give each other time."

  I thought about her words without saying anything else.

  While we were seated at the dining table, my aunt engaged each of us in giving details of our lives during the past two weeks. Jay talked nothing but football matches with his dad and before I knew it, Piper was talking about me.

  "Did you know Nina has made a friend?" she said, sending a playful glance at me. I shot her daggers, but her announcement already drew everyone's attention. By the tone of her voice, she already implied that there was something more to that friend title. Robert pretended to be eating. He was always in his neutral state when the subject of me popped up. I guessed he wasn't as uncomfortable as he was before, but that didn't mean he felt pleasant or concerned about my homosexual welfare either.

  "That's great!" my aunt said enthusiastically. "I was worried that you were lonely here."

  "Is that friend a girl or a guy?" Jay asked.

  "Jason," Aunt Vikki said with a frown at her son.

  "Well, I’m just asking since she’s..." he said but trailed off.

  Now, I had one of those murderous thoughts towards Jay. Why would people expect a gay person to be socially impaired when it came to the opposite sex?

  "It's a girl," I sighed to end the confusion. "We just have a science project together, that's all."

  Which was partly true.

  "Maybe you can bring her here for dinner sometimes," my aunt suggested. I couldn't imagine the scenario where Allecra was sitting at the table among us with all her tattoos and androgynous clothing.

  But I just nodded.

  Afterward, they thanked me for a delicious welcome home meal. Then my aunt and Robert retired to bed, saying they were too exhausted after the long hour flight. I returned to my room and did my biology homework. Did you know that fish was the first organism to have sex on this planet? I was in the middle of reviewing my math lesson for tomorrow test when I heard a knock at the door. It was Piper. She let herself in and plopped down on my bed.

  "Is that true?" she asked, looking flabbergasted.

  "Is what true?" I frowned at her incoherency as I turned around to face her.

  "That you and Allecra Knight are a couple?" she prompted.

  "Where did you hear that from?"

  "Dude, that girl and her siblings have been the topic of every conversation for months!" she went on. "Surely, if one of them is dating, it's hot news!"

  "Why are you interested in this?" I asked, still trying to get her point.

  "Why? Don't you get it, Nina? It’s Allecra Knight! She was in front of our house this morning. She was just there all dreamy and unbelievable!"

  "Unbelievable?" I raised my eyebrows at her choice word.

  "Yeah! If that could even be more possible, she is shockingly attractive up close! And damn, her eyes! I had always thought she wore contacts! Allecra is freaking perfect, like out of this world perfect. Well, there I said it, but Nina, there is something else I can't explain about her."

  CHAPTER 21

  Then my cousin turned red like a tomato.

  "Wow, someone is interested in Allecra Knight."

  "Aw, no!" Piper said and fervently shook her head. "I know I'm totally straight! But you know if she were a boy, I would at least try to have my way with her for sure!"

  "Don't tell me you're having that bi-curious symptom," I said to her with an amused smile.

  "Well, I don't know. It's just there's something about her, I can't explain it," Piper said. "She's so...so overwhelming, so vibrant, and strangely well-put together. Sometimes, it's hard to believe she is a human."

  Well, it seemed people would always find Allecra different. I guessed she hadn't been a hundred percent successful in the art of camouflage after all.

  "I couldn't agree more," I simply said.

  "You're extremely lucky, you know," Piper sighed. "I wish I had someone who would look at me like the way she looks at you."

  I fiddled with the edges of my sleeves. My thoughts drifted back to the evening I spent with Allecra.

  "Can I ask you something personal?" I said, looking at my cousin again. She gave it some thinking before she nodded.

  "If I could answer it," she said.

  "What is it like having sex with a guy for the first time?"

  Piper looked surprised at my question, but then she huffed and rolled her eyes at the memory.

  "It was super awkward and uncomfortable, to say the least," she said. "It hurt, too, like you almost couldn't tell what's tearing at you. I just wished it to be over, but it was my first time anyway."

  I inwardly cringed. I wondered if Allecra could hurt me that much. Of course, she wouldn't mean to, but the pain was still expected. I honestly had no clues what to think of that.

  "Then why did you do it?" I asked Piper.

  "I thought I had found the right person," she said. I saw a flash of remorse glittering in her eyes. Then I remembered her ex-boyfriend was Jack Conner, the most pathetic guy.

  "I'm sorry," I said apologetically.

  "Nah, that's okay. I got over it already," she said and shrugged. "Anyway, why did you ask me that out of a sudden?"

  "I'm just curious," I said.

  "If I didn't know you, Nina, I would have thought you were planning to have your first time with a guy!"

  I didn't want to tell her that it wasn't that far from the truth, except it wasn't a guy, but a girl who had a guy’s part — as if that wasn't confusing enough.

  ~*~

  The next morning, Allecra didn't show up in front of the house again. For that, I was relieved. The two worlds shouldn't be so close to each other.

  I reached school in my car. And after checking myself in the rear-view mirror for the fifth time, I decided that I was decent enough to get out. As I stepped into the sun, she was right there by the door, smiling at me. Her face startled me by its fierce comeliness. I began to think that Allecra was growing more and more attractive each time I saw her. Or was this how being in love made me feel?

  She was wearing a simple white t-shirt and a blue denim jacket. I was always struck by how well she dressed. Allecra could wear the plainest articles of clothing and manage, with the roll of the sleeves or the curl of the collar, to transform them into something spectacular. She made a girl like me envy that inborn sense of fashion.

  "Good morning," she said. She moved fluidly to my side, keeping a certain distance between us. Her turquoise eyes flicked against the sun. The electric current that was radiating from some
where within my body didn’t seem to slack. I sucked in the morning air.

  "Morning, Allecra," I said.

  "Shall we go?" she asked and I nodded. There was no need for small talks between us. For some reason, we both deemed it unnecessary.

  Whoever happened to be around watched us walk through the campus. I felt the urge to reach out and hold Allecra's hand, like a real couple. I had never felt that way with anyone I'd dated. But I felt self-conscious to touch her and afraid that I would come off as clingy. How she was always so pleasant, graceful and golden was beyond me. Piper was right — Allecra was something else. I watched the way she carried herself.

  "Why do you move like that?" I asked out of curiosity.

  "Like what?" Allecra looked at me, confused.

  "Like that." I gestured in her general direction. "You don't move like humans.”

  "Because I am—not?" Allecra raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

  "That's not what I mean." I shook my head. "You don't move like me."

  "Well, I just don't want to waste my time and energy by being clumsy."

  "So you think I'm clumsy?" I said and was ready to spit fire back.

  "You're not clumsy," she said. "You're just delicate—like a dainty flower."

  My heart fluttered at that, and I felt my cheeks redden as I stared at her smiling angelic face. I snapped my head back and started to walk again, otherwise, I would turn into a human-shaped jello right there. All the while, I could feel Allecra amused stare on me.

  We entered the building together. She walked me to my locker and carried my books for me, even though I insisted that I could hold them myself. Then we walked to Language Arts class. The students looked at us as usual when we went to our seats. Allecra pulled the chair out for me. We sat down, but she still looked at me with a hint of amusement in her eyes.

  "Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked after a while.

  "I'm hoping to hear one of your poems again," she said.

  "Didn't you say poetry doesn't make any sense?"

  "With you, it does now." She grinned. I turned my head back, ignoring the heat that crept up my cheeks. Then I remembered the poem Allecra wrote to me, the one about the sailor. Unzipping my bag, I pulled the notebook out and opened the page until I found the yellow post-it note, which contained her poem.

  "I would like to have it back," Allecra said. Her face suddenly turned serious. Her white slender hand reached out, but I pushed it away.

  "If you don't want me to keep it then why did you write it to me?"

  Allecra glared at me with conflict raging in her eyes. It was still hard to deal with her sudden mood change. But good grief - that annoyed look on her face was utterly adorable!

  "Have you ever cared about someone so much you have to distance yourself for fear of hurting that person?" she said and then turned away towards the window. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to console her but I didn't know how. After a while, the teacher sailed into the room and called the class to order.

  "Today you are supposed to write a poem about someone you love," Mrs. Smith said to our surprise. "It's a joy to be able to express this feeling with the most beautiful words possible, isn't it? You don't have to put your name, so no one knows it's you."

  Everyone stared at her blankly until the teacher pointed to the clock and said, "You've gotten ten minutes."

  There was a buzz around the room. The hand on the clock was ticking away. I wasted five minutes just staring at the blank page. Allecra didn't seem to be anxious or anything. But as my pen hit the paper, I decided to stop thinking for there was no time to think. When the teacher called 'Stop!' everyone looked up in a daze.

  "I would like to share the poems with the class," Mrs. Smith said. Jenny asked if she could go the bathroom and Michelle said she felt sick and begged to see the nurse. But the teacher ignored their reactions and simply went around the room, snatching the work from their unwilling hands. People were squirming all over the place. By the time the teacher got to me, I got a sunken feeling about what I had written, but it was too late to hide it now. After she had collected all the poems, Mrs. Smith smiled at each anxious face.

  "Not to worry, I will change the name if there's any mention and keep it anonymous," she said, but everyone was sitting poised and tense as if the teacher was to announce someone's death sentence. Mrs. Smith selected a poem from the bunch and began to read.

  ‘I think Jimmy is a flirt,

  But his skin is always pink,

  And his hair is always shiny,

  But really, he's just a jerk.’

  I thought Mary Jone was going to fall out of her chair. A guy named Taylor who sat next to her was turning bright pink. He looked at Mary Jone as if she had punched him in the gut.

  "No—I—no," she stuttered in alarm.

  Mrs. Smith liked the poem because it showed conflicting feeling about someone. Then she shuffled the papers and picked out another one and started to read.

  ‘I love her,

  Her eyes are like thunderstorms,

  Her smile is like rainbow,

  She is cute, she smells so good,

  Oh, I love her, I love her.’

  I looked at the boys, who cowered in their seats - some looked embarrassed, some snickered in amusement. But every girl in the class was smiling. The teacher said she liked it because it was straight from the heart. Allecra was just gazing nonchalantly at Mrs. Smith as the teacher went on to another one.

  ‘When darkness falls and we're apart,

  Can love heal this lonely heart?

  I love you dearly that I do.

  Sleep is good when dreaming of you.’

  I looked carefully at Allecra. She was snickering to herself. I frowned sideway at her. She was probably thinking it was mine since the poem was plagued with the same romantic naivety like the one I had written before. Suddenly I wondered who she had written about. Was it one of her seven potentials?

  Mrs. Smith flipped to another poem and began to read. I got a prickly feeling up and down my arms. My heart was clobbering so hard it might leap out of my chest. I realized what a terrible mistake I had made to write that poem in the class.

  ‘Mother, are you gone forever

  To the land so bright and fair?

  While your daughter weeps, unstopping.

  Do you hear me? Do you care?’

  Silence invaded the room. For a long moment, no one made any sound. I almost died right then and there. Mrs. Smith didn't look up from the paper.

  "Well," she breathed. "Looks like we've got a natural here."

  "It sounds pretty sad, though," Michael commented.

  I couldn't look up from my hands. All of a sudden, I found it hard to breathe. Allecra must have noticed me. Her gaze returned to my face.

  "Are you alright?" she asked in a low voice that only I could hear.

  I nodded and remained silent for the rest of the lesson until the bell rang.

  Then I rose up from my seat and whizzed out of the class. Allecra's quickened steps were behind me. I dodged around the passing students and down the hallways. She didn't try to stop me. The whole time Allecra just followed. Once I got out of the building, I continued to stride in silence until I reached a football field. No one was there at this hour. I climbed the metal stairs and then sat on one of those empty benches.

  The sky had become cloudy and gray, like a poorly painted canvas. I felt the tall figure stood by my side. She didn't say anything and just sat next to me. Her hand wound a strand of hair from my face as I stared at the empty greenness of the field. The distant trees that surrounded the campus stood like dark soldiers going to war. We both didn't speak. Allecra waited and waited. Then when I finally let my guard down, I gave into a quiet sob. Allecra put her arms around me and pulled me into her. My face buried in her chest as she rubbed my back.

  "You wrote that poem," she said, not as a question but more of a statement.

  "She died giving birth to me," I said through the flowing
tears, "Even she was gone, I’m still sad when I think about her. People would put on the sickening kind of face and say 'Oh, I'm so sorry' like it was their fault. Or they would ask a perfectly normal question like 'Where is your mother?' and I might have managed to answer with some vagueness. But it still pains me to look them in the eyes when they say these things. It's like a curse to start out your first day on earth as a murderer, isn't it?"

  I felt Allecra's lips brushed over my hair.

  "You are wrong, Nina," she said softly. "You were brought into the world by a love so deep, it can’t be measured. If your mother exists in some other universe, she needs not worry because from this moment on I will take care of you."

  I pulled away and looked up at her turquoise eyes. As usual, they were perfect and beautiful to a hypnotizing degree. I felt better just by looking at them.

  "Call it psychological thing, but I can't mother your child, Allecra," I said in a scratchy tone. "I'm just scared."

  "I understand," she said. "And you don't have to."

  Allecra pulled me back in her embrace and smoothed my hair. I wrapped my arms around her and breathed in her exquisite scent into my heavy lungs. We sat like that for a long moment.

  "Please take me somewhere else, I don't want to stay here anymore," I said. Allecra turned her head slightly downward to peek at me.

  "Where do you want to go?" she asked.

  "Somewhere away from all this dullness of the world," I said.

  "Mmm, you've got quite a request." She chuckled. "Lucky you, I'm in the mood of spoiling some crying baby today. Alright, let's get going then."

  "Where to?" I said curiously. She beamed at me.

  "You'll see."

  ~*~

  The aquarium was where Allecra took me. I had never seen an aquarium in my life. A childish excitement began to seep into my nerves once we entered the enormous place. It was like another world entirely. The interior was cold and dark when we walked inside, except for the aqua blue light from the glass windows, which were actually fish tanks.

  The tanks were so large; they took up an entire wall. There were so many displays of sea creatures. I had never seen a great variety of fish like this aside from the ones at the markets. It literally took my breath away. We watched different schools of aquatic life swimming together leisurely. The tanks were decorated with multi-colored corals and seaweeds to resemble the natural habitat of these deep water species.