Bad Behavior

by Kiki Swinson

  Standing there trembling beside her cousin, Honore couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her fuckin’ protégée was being tortured. Waterboarded! Tears of rage filled Honore’s eyes as she witnessed the terrifying cruelty being put down on her fellow Crushed Ice Clique chick.

  “Turn that shit off!” Cucci yelled in disgust. “Turn it the hell off! I don’t wanna see that shit! I wanna go find her!”

  “That’s not all,” Joel said as he clicked off the video. “I got a text message along with the video. Your friend Mai must have broken down and told Davie Shiloh that it was me who hired her. And she told him why, too. The text message said Davie wants half a million dollars in three days or he’ll cut off Mai’s head and drop her body in the Hudson River.”

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Honore shrieked and then covered her mouth in shock. “Half a million dollars? Is that nigga crazy? How in the entire fuck are we supposed to come up with that type of paper in three days? This Davie fool must be outta his mind!”

  “Nah, fuck the dumb shit,” Cucci said with her eyes blazing with anger. She liked Mai, she really did, and she felt responsible for talking her into what was turning out to be a suicide mission. “Tell us the damn plan, Joel!” she snapped. “C’mon, now. You better tell us the new fucking plan!”

  “There was only one plan, and that was for your friend to be careful! ” Joel ran his fingers through his mop of hair. “Look, Mai knew the risks going in, and she was willing to accept those risks for the right amount of money, isn’t that right?”

  “Unh-unh, Joel,” Cucci said in a pleading voice. “We ain’t even tryna hear that stupid bullshit! You gotta do something, goddammit. You better get with all your criminal contacts and pull some strings and help our girl out! We can work the money off some kinda way Joel, but something gotta give so we can fix this shit. Just spot us the cash so we can get Mai back.”

  “Are you crazy?” Joel said with a confused and angry look. “The girl is probably dead already! I warned you that Davie was a monster! He’s just toying with us, trying to see what else he can get out of us! Like I said, your friend went in there knowing that something like this could happen. Hell, we all knew it! I’m sorry, but one girl isn’t worth the risk of me losing half a million dollars. There are always casualties in combat, ladies. Always.”

  “So let me get this shit straight, Joel,” Honore growled. Her tears had dried up and now the flames of hell were shooting outta her hazel eyes. “You’re willing to let that insane creep-ass nigga just dead my friend because you scared to lose some money? Cucci already told you we would work the shit off somehow! We just don’t have the scratch to put up the ransom on our own right now or we would do it in a heartbeat. C’mon, now. We’re talking about a life here. Don’t tell me you’re that petty and heartless, Joel!”

  “I’m sorry ladies,” Joel said as he shook his head. “This is a high-risk and high-reward business. There’s no need to dig ourselves into an even deeper hole here. We gambled and took a long shot at this thing, and we lost, that’s all. Shit happens. I know you care for your friend, and I really feel bad for her too. Let’s just regroup and try to find another way around this situation. In the meantime, what you might want to start thinking about is whether or not Mai gave Davie Shiloh your names and whereabouts too. Because if she did, it could be bad for you. He could send some very bad people your way. You two might want to lay low for a while.”

  “Nigga fuck all that,” Cucci said as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “You might be from the ’burbs, but we from the hood, Joel! That tucking your tail between your legs and hauling ass shit ain’t how we were raised, and we damn sure ain’t running away and leaving Mai behind. Please! Ain’t nobody shook behind that goofy-ass Looney-Toons muthafucka! Davie Shiloh don’t put no fear in my heart! He bleeds the same way the next nigga do. Besides, loyalty is everything and there ain’t no price too high for that. We’re gonna find Mai. You can turn your back on her if you want to, but this shit won’t be on my conscience haunting me forever knowing I didn’t try to get my girl back.”

  “You got that shit right,” Honore chimed in. “Joel you’s a real piece of shit, you know that? How can you just be cool with leaving Mai to get mauled out there by the wolves? I mean you’re really not gonna lend us a hand, are you? Look at what we did to Sal over your ass! Me and Cucci saved your nuts when Sal tried to pull that fuck-boy move on you, now didn’t we?”

  “Yes you did, and you were paid very well for that, too,” Joel argued as he raised his voice. “Look, you two aren’t going to make me out to be the bad guy. I’m a businessman and I make sound business decisions. This situation with Mai isn’t personal and there are no hard feelings involved. Mai received a very generous down payment up front for this job. I got her a nice clean ride and put some good clothes on her back. The outcome is unfortunate, but this is what she signed up for.”

  “So that’s how it is, huh?” Honore said quietly. “This shit is just business as usual with you, huh, Joel? It’s all gravy as long as you get to cash out on our hustle, right? I get it, and like I said, one day you’re gonna get yours. With God as my witness mothafucka, you’re gonna get yours.”

  “Don’t you fucking threaten me!” Joel roared. “I picked both of your grimy ghetto asses up off the streets and brought you into my world! I taught you everything you know about diamonds and wealth when I introduced you to this fucking life! Don’t blame me because your friend got caught with her panties down. You’re the ones who sent her in there when she obviously didn’t have the proper training. We’re swimming in the deep end of the ocean goddammit, and it’s eat or get eaten down here! So whatever the fuck you want to do, go ahead and do it, but I’ve said my piece. Now if you’re still on my team, then put your big girl panties on and let’s get back to business, because there’s a lot of work that still needs to be done!”

  Joel stormed out of the living room leaving Cucci Momma and Honore standing there feeling totally helpless. They were also mad as hell, and like Joel had said, feeling guilty as fuck for sending Mai into a hungry lion’s den in the first damn place.

  “What the hell are we gonna do, Honore?” Cucci whispered as she tried to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. “That nigga Joel really ain’t gonna fuckin’ help us.”

  “Fuck Joel!” Honore spit in a low voice full of anger. “Grab your purse and let’s get the hell up outta here. Don’t nobody need Joel’s fuckin’ help! Call up the Crushed Ice Clique and get my ladies on the phone because us fly bitches are about to help our goddamn selves!”

  CHAPTER 21

  Using one of Sly McFly’s special tools, Honore picked the back door lock on the large blue house and slowly twisted the knob. She moved into the foyer with the silence of a church mouse, and Cucci, Man-Man, India, Kellie, and Breezy followed right behind her dressed in all-black cat suits. All the girls had on ski masks and gloves, and they were strapped with Glock nines that were locked, cocked, and on the ready.

  Sly McFly was sitting in a car across the street with Chimp Charlie as they scanned the area for any signs of trouble. He had a small team of shooters waiting in a nearby backyard ready to blast on the house and fire that shit up, but he wanted the girls to put in their own work first and earn their own stripes.

  Despite all that shit he had talked about not helping them, Joel had pulled some strings and used his connections to find out where Davie Shiloh’s mother lived. Honore wasn’t above cracking an old bitch in the head or knocking her on her ass, because getting Mai back was the only thing on her mind and she would use any type of leverage she could get.

  As the girls crept slowly down the hall, all kinds of delicious smells greeted their noses. They saw a light shining in the kitchen and heard someone humming a song. Honore was walking with her gun pointed straight out in front of her when she turned the corner and came upon an elderly white lady who was standing at the stove basting a turkey and tapping her foot on the floor at the same
time.

  “Drop the fucking baster, bitch!” Honore barked with mad venom in her voice. “Step away from that bird, and if you even think about screaming I’ll split your old gray melon wide the fuck open. Now who else is up in this joint with you?”

  “Nobody,” the old lady said as she looked up at the crew of masked women and gave them a slight shrug. “I live here alone,” she told them as she placed the baster on the counter and reached for a dishcloth to wipe her hands.

  The old white lady looked like somebody’s grandmama busy cooking a Thanksgiving dinner. There were pots full of delicious-smelling food simmering on the stove, and a big smoked ham glazed with pineapples and maraschino cherries was cooling on a metal rack.

  The old woman looked shocked to see the clique standing in her kitchen, but she definitely wasn’t scared. “You all could have just knocked on the door, you know. I’m sure your mothers raised you right, so I’m sure you’re here for a good reason. Whatever it is, put those guns down before you hurt yourselves. Anybody hungry? I got turkey, ham, collard greens, baked macaroni and cheese, candied yams, and yellow rice. Homemade pound cake is on the table, sweet potato pies are just about ready to come out of the oven, and ice cream is in the freezer.”

  What the fuck?

  Honore and Cucci looked at each other dumbfounded as shit, confused by the old woman’s surprising tranquility and her complete lack of fear or alarm. Honore had to look down at her hand to make sure she still had a burner aimed at the elderly chick because there wasn’t a drop of fear in her old ass.

  “Y’all go upstairs and check shit out,” Honore directed Cucci and Breezy with a head nod so they could go make sure they were alone. Cucci’s greedy eyeballs lingered on the pretty-ass ham sitting on the rack before she ran upstairs to peep the scene.

  “Where’s your grime-ball son at?” Honore demanded as her and Man-Man walked up close on the old woman.

  “I have no idea.”

  “Don’t play no games with me, lady,” Honore said as she kept her gun aimed high. “Do it look like we came here to fuck around with you, granny? If you wanna keep the rest of your teeth in your mouth then what I need you to do is pick up your damn phone and call that bitch-ass son of yours!”

  “First of all, my name is Grace,” the woman said with quiet dignity as she turned back to the stove and picked up a large spoon. “Mrs. Grace to you.” She lifted a pot lid and the mouth-watering aroma of collard greens rose in the air. “You’re my guest, you know, and I don’t appreciate you coming into my house and using that kind of foul language,” she said as she stirred the pot. “I’m pretty sure you were taught to respect your elders, so please act like it. Now,” she said, putting the spoon down and covering the pot, “what in the world has my boy done now? He’s hardheaded just like his daddy was, and he always has been. Did he do something to offend you in some way?”

  Cucci came running down the steps and gave Honore a nod.

  “It’s all clear,” she said, slightly out of breath. “There’s nobody here but us. Now has this old bird started squawking yet? Where’s her bitch-ass son, and where the hell is Mai?”

  “You’d better watch your mouth in my house, young lady,” Grace chastised Cucci as she put her hand on her stout hip and frowned. “Don’t make me send you out in the backyard to get a switch, you hear?”

  Cucci sucked her teeth. “Did this old hoe lose all of her marbles?” she whispered outta the side of her mouth at Honore. “Who she talking about whipping? Don’t she know we here to hold her ass for ransom?”

  “I’m talking about whipping you, with your fresh mouth self,” the old woman said loudly. “And those guns don’t scare me at all, and neither do those silly masks you girls have on. Now, I’ve been standing on my feet cooking all day long and I’m hungry. I’m going to cut myself a slice of pound cake and get something cool to drink. Y’all can have a seat and get comfortable and I’ll fix y’all a plate of whatever y’all want. And then we can talk.”

  * * *

  Thirty minutes later there were several dirty dishes stacked up in the sink. Empty glasses of cold milk and crystal saucers holding grubbed-up traces of pound cake and sweet potato pie were all over the table.

  “My husband was from Alabama and I learned how to cook soul food right after we got married,” Mrs. Grace explained to the deadly crew of hood chicks who were sitting around her kitchen table with their full stomachs hanging out. “Of course, he was African-American, as you can tell by my son’s looks, and he was a big man who loved to eat. Seeing as how I loved to cook, and I still do, we got along just fine.”

  Honore and Cucci were floored. They had come up outta their hot ski masks a long time ago, and when Sly McFly texted Honore to see if everything was straight, she was too ashamed to tell him that her and Cucci were busy picking food outta their teeth, Kellie was wiping off the table, and Breezy and India were at the sink busting suds and washing dishes.

  None of them could believe that a white woman had burnt up that good-ass soul food that she had served them! Cucci had greased down on so much turkey, greens, and macaroni and cheese that her stomach was poking out and her ass was about to bust outta her cat suit.

  Man-Man and India had gone to town on that glazed ham, and Honore had tore shit up too. She’d greased back two huge slices of sweet potato pie that was so good it almost made her cry.

  And now that the grubbing and the greasing was over, it was time to get down to business.

  “I’m glad you girls finally settled down,” Mrs. Grace said as she poured herself a cup of black coffee. “Now what has my Davie got you girls all riled up about?”

  “Well listen, Mrs. Grace,” Honore said as she took a deep breath. “No disrespect, but I’m just gonna tell you like it is. Your foul-behind son messed around and kidnapped a friend of ours. He sent us a video showing him beating her and dunking her head under water like he was drowning her. He said he was gonna cut her head off and throw her body in the river.”

  “That’s exactly what he said,” Cucci butted in. “Now, I don’t know if you understand what type of craziness your boy be perpetrating out on them streets, but I can tell you he’s a shot caller and a he’s a maniac too! Like my cousin said, your son snatched our friend and beat the shit outta her, and now he’s planning to kill her. Our only chance of getting her back is to use you as our bait. And since you’re his momma and his only weakness, you’re gonna pick up that phone and call him and let him know we got you and we ain’t letting you go. Matter fact, you gonna tell ya lil pyscho-ass fuck-boy that Cucci Momma said she’s gonna blow a hole straight in your goddamn throat unless he brings my friend here alive and breathing and gives up that Black Stone diamond too! Tell his ass he’s got an hour,” Cucci said, taking her gun off her waist and aiming it straight at the old lady’s head. “Nah, fuck that. Tell him your ass got an hour!”

  * * *

  About a half an hour later a dark van came screeching down the street. Honore and Cucci were staring outta the window with their masks on and guns out, while Breezy and India were posted up on the door and Man-Man and Kellie were in the kitchen standing guard on the old lady.

  The tires had barely stopped turning when the back door to the van flew open and four big niggas jumped out. One of them was half-carrying a woman who looked like she was wrapped in a blanket.

  “Okay, it’s game time,” Honore called out loudly as she rushed back in the kitchen. She jetted over to Mrs. Grace and slapped a long piece of duct tape over her mouth. “Sorry Meemaw, but I don’t trust your serial killer son! If this shit goes bad then we’re all going out blazing. If you love your life then you better make sure his ass comes correct.”

  The front door burst open and suddenly Davie Shiloh stood there in the foyer looking totally enraged. All eyes were locked in on him as Cucci, Honore, and Davie all silently sized each other up, with all their guns up.

  “Get that fucking barrel away from my mother’s head,” Davie spit, breaking the silenc
e. “I don’t know who y’all raggedy bitches are,” he threatened passionately, “but one day I’m gonna roll up behind you and slit both ya fuckin throats. Believe that!”

  “Man, fuck you, Davie!” Honore snapped as she cocked her gun and aimed the barrel dead at him. “I got this shit surrounded so you should watch ya mouth when you talking about what you gonna do to somebody! How about what the fuck we gonna do to your momma? Now tell them scrawny niggas to back away from Mai and slide that Black Stone diamond in her hand. Then all of y’all turn around and beat feet the fuck up outta here!”

  “And don’t forget to take your lovely mother with you, you bitch-ass nigga!” Cucci barked. “You lucky I didn’t beat her half to death like you did to my girl! It’s your turn to take a loss now, Davie boy! See ya on the next go round, pussy!”

  Davie nodded. “Y’all got the win this time, but tell that pussy nigga Joel I’m coming for him,” he threatened as he nodded to his men to follow Honore’s orders. “This shit ain’t over. When I see you again, I’m gonna see you. You won’t never in life catch me off of my game again! I can promise you that.”

  In a matter of moments, Mai was set free and given the diamond. She hobbled across the room, crying and trembling as she huddled behind Honore with her haunted eyes wide from shock and trauma.

  Cucci checked everything out thoroughly before she gave Man-Man the signal to let Grace Shiloh get up and walk over to her son.

  “I don’t care if this is your momma’s house,” Cucci said, glaring at Davie with her lip turned down. “You better take yo momma and step the fuck off! And if you wanna act aggy, there’s four carloads of shooters just waiting outside for you to get cute. Trust me, you don’t want your momma to catch no hot lead in her ass tonight, so don’t fuck around and get fucked around!”