Emily Post's Great Get-Togethers

by Anna Post

  EVENING LIGHTING: You need lighting in the evening, and what you choose is determined by the kind of party you’re having and the kind of atmosphere you wish to create. At a large party—a holiday cocktail buffet, say—bright and festive is the key to keeping the party cheery and upbeat. So you’ll want more lighting, perhaps not glaring overheads but plenty of table lamps and wall sconces. A more intimate cocktail or dinner party calls for softer lighting. Dimming overheads and using a few table lamps and candles sets the mood for conversation and even romance. For a dinner party, dim the overheads, use wall lights, and light the candles—again, just be sure it’s not too dark, or your guests won’t be able to see their food!

  CANDLES: Candles are the all-time mood setter. From pillars to votives to the classic taper, they’re available everywhere (and make a great hostess gift, too). Candles lend drama and elegance to the space and can be the feature of your table—using candlesticks of varying heights, for example, or votives at each place setting or down the center of the table interspersed with tiny arrangements. Candles are not just for the dining room table; think sideboards, mantelpieces, coffee tables, and the guest bathroom. In general, choose unscented candles. Scented candles can overpower the food, irritate some people, and create soot, which clings to surfaces. Keep safety in mind at all times. Never leave candles unattended and don’t place them near fabric or flammable decorations or in drafty areas. And be sure to extinguish any candle before it burns down to nothing.

  STRING LIGHTS: Strings of lights aren’t just for Christmas anymore. We’ve seen lights in the shapes of dragonflies, mini Chinese lanterns, flowers, chilies, spiders, pirate skulls, even lobsters. Practically every party theme is covered, and they’re all you might need for decoration. White string lights can be added to garlands and hung over windows and doorways or wrapped around a banister to add holiday sparkle. Outside, drape porches or trees with string lights to add romance to evening parties.

  LANTERNS AND TORCHES: Lanterns hung from porches or trees are another charming way to light an evening party. Luminaria—paper bags cut with a lacy pattern and filled with sand and a lit votive—light pathways or outdoor tables. Tiki torches illuminate yards or pathways and have the added benefit of keeping away insects if you burn citronella oil. Again, always keep safety in mind when fire is involved.

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  Baby, It’s Cold Outside

  Don’t forget to think about temperature! A large group of people will warm up a room quickly, as will a fire in a fireplace, so adjust your thermostat before the party begins, lowering the heat setting or raising the setting for air-conditioned spaces. Adjust as needed during the party. Outdoors, you can still enjoy cool evenings if you rent large propane heaters or use a firepit. (See also Chapter 11, A Breath of Fresh Air, page 151.)

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  Start the Music

  Computers, iPods, and MP3 players make it easier than ever to create the perfect playlist for your party. The sky’s the limit, subject to your CD collection or iTunes account. Matching the music to your party should be fun, not stressful. Give a thought to the party’s flow—when you want your music quiet and when you want it more lively. If you don’t feel like mixing your own playlist, let a store-bought collection do the work for you.

  A word on volume: Unless the focus is on dancing and you want to crank it up, lower the volume so the music subtly sets the mood and isn’t overbearing. Conversation should flow easily—no one should have to shout to be heard.

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  A Tip from Lizzie

  MAKING A PARTY PLAYLIST

  If my party were a movie, what movie would it be? That’s how I start looking for party music. I think of a movie that has the feel of my party, and then I jump on iTunes and search the movie’s sound track for songs and artists. I take those I like, search for more by those artists, and put a mix together. I think about the flow of the party, too, and program quieter songs for right around dinnertime. Hit “Play,” and the music takes care of itself for the evening.

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  The Preparty Cleanup

  It goes without saying: Your house needs to be clean and tidy if you want it to be fit for company. If you have cleaning help, see if schedules can be rearranged for the day of or the day before the party. If you’re on your own, start several days ahead, so that when it’s time to decorate or prep food, your space is ready. Dust, vacuum, polish; you’ll want any spaces your guests will use to look their best—including the bathroom. Your kitchen needs to be shipshape, too: dishes put away, dishwasher emptied, counters cleared and wiped, floor swept or vacuumed. Be kind to yourself, however—if you run out of time, sweep the table and countertops clean, hide the mess of unedited mail, magazines, and odd bits in a bag, and stuff it in a closet. (Just remember to unearth it after the party!)

  POV—What Your Guests See

  Take a big step back and give your house the once-over. Look at it the way your guests will see it. Watch for:

  THE OUTSIDE: Even if your party isn’t at night, your driveway, walkway, and entryway should be swept and any ice, snow, or slush removed. If you live in an apartment, remove any clutter from the hallway.

  PET HAIR: You may not even notice it, but guests will—and it’s a real annoyance. A thorough vacuuming of floors and furniture will also lower the chance of a reaction from guests with pet allergies.

  CLUTTER: Books, magazines, CDs and DVDs, papers and projects should all be put away or stowed in a box out of sight for the duration of the party.

  CUSHIONS, PILLOWS, AND THROWS: Plump cushions, fluff pillows, and fold throws—an instant neatening trick.

  WINDOWS: For a daytime event, wash the windows in your party room. It will make the entire room sparkle!

  A SHARED BATHROOM: If your guests must share your bathroom, turn it into a guest bath. Put all of your personal items—toothbrushes, razors, brushes, hair dryer, toiletries, and medications (yes, people snoop!)—into a temporary storage box or crate that you can store in a closet during the party. Give the room a thorough cleaning and empty the wastebasket. Fold bath towels neatly and leave clean hand towels and a fresh bar of soap for guests.

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  Remember the Loo

  Make sure your bathroom is well stocked: Have guest towels available, either hanging or a stack of cloth towels or decorative paper towels. If you stack cloth towels, have a bin for used towels. Put out a fresh bar of soap, a fresh roll of toilet paper plus a spare roll stored in an obvious place, and a neutral-scented spray air freshener. It’s also thoughtful to have some feminine supplies available, either in a drawer or in a discreet container. For a nice extra touch, add a few fresh flowers, some good hand cream, or a pretty candle.

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  The Blitz

  This is what you do when you get the fifteen-minute warning (“AHHH, my parents are stopping by in fifteen minutes!”), or when you’ve decided to invite friends over on the spur of the moment. There’s no time for the big cleaning—but a tidy house looks cleaner. So grab the disposable wipes, put on some high-energy music, and set the timer for fifteen minutes. Next, as fast as you can:

  ENTRY OR FOYER: Hang up coats and hats. (1 minute)

  LIVING ROOM: Straighten the coffee table, books, and magazines; throw out newspapers; put away CDs and DVDs; plump pillows and cushions and fold throws; quickly wipe tabletops. (4 minutes)

  KITCHEN: Put dishes in the dishwasher and close the door (then run it if the machine’s not too noisy); pile mail and papers; wipe counters, fold and hang dish towels. (5 minutes)

  BATHROOM: Put dirty clothes in the hamper and toiletries in a drawer; fold and hang towels neatly; give a quick wipe of the sink and toilet. (4 minutes)

  CLOSE DOORS TO BEDROOMS. (30 seconds)

  TURN OFF THE MUSIC and breathe deeply. (30 seconds)

  You’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish in 15 minutes!

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  A Word About Coasters

  Even if you serve guests drinks with a
napkin, condensation can leak through the paper and damage tabletops. Have plenty of coasters and stash them all around the rooms where you entertain—not just in the bar. Then, before the party starts, scatter them around anywhere a drink is likely to land.

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  Setting Up The Dining Room

  Learning to set an attractive table isn’t difficult—just let balance and symmetry be your guides. Of course, you’ll also need to know how many people will be at your table and what your menu is. Finally, everything you use should be crisp and sparkling—linens ironed, glasses and flatware spotless, and dishes shining. Let’s look at a basic setting for eight at a rectangular or oval table.

  Table Setting, Part 1

  If necessary, expand your table to accommodate eight people. Place chairs evenly around the table, one at each end and three on each side.

  Choose your linens. Place mats are less formal than a tablecloth and work well for a luncheon or a less formal dinner; tablecloths of any color are great for most dinner parties or a very formal luncheon. A white tablecloth and white cloth napkins are considered the most formal of all. Your napkins can match or complement your tablecloth or place mats. If you really want to dress up your table, table runners are another great option. On a rustic table, try some roughly woven material or a beautiful shawl folded in thirds (just make sure it’s something that can be cleaned). Once the runner is down you can place votives, flowers, trivets for wine, a bread basket, and saltcellars on it. Create place settings by putting the utensils directly on the table.

  Place mats are centered in front of each chair, about one to two inches from the edge of the table. If you use a tablecloth, spread it to hang evenly on each end and on the sides. Twelve to eighteen inches is the average drop, but don’t worry if it’s a little long or a little short—you just don’t want it hanging too low, or it’ll end up in the diners’ laps. Runners can fit exactly on the tabletop or hang off each end.

  Place the dinner plate in the center of each place mat or on the tablecloth, centered in front of each chair. (If you’re serving buffet style, you can remove the plates later. Meanwhile, they’ll help you judge where to put silverware, napkins, and glasses.)

  Next, place the silverware: The dinner fork goes to the left of the plate, dinner knife to the right of the plate, and dinner or soup spoon to the right of the knife. This is the basic setting. Utensils for other courses are placed in the order they’ll be used, from the outside in. For example, if you’re serving salad as a separate course before the main course, the salad fork is placed to the left of (outside) the dinner fork. If salad is going to be served after the main course, the salad fork is placed to the right of (inside) the dinner fork. The dessert fork or spoon may be placed above the plate, parallel to the edge of the table, with the handle of the fork facing left and the handle of the spoon facing right; or they may be brought in on the dessert plate. Never put out silverware that won’t be used at some point during the meal. Don’t put out a spoon, for example, if your meal doesn’t call for one.

  Another option is to set your table restaurant or Euro style. If you feel that having all the utensils on the table at the beginning of the meal looks too formal or cluttered, you can set the appropriate utensils for each course right before you serve it. Start out the meal with just the utensils for the first course being served. When that course is completed, clear the plate and utensils and then reset each place with the utensils for the next course. Even if you don’t use this style for all of your courses, it’s especially handy for the dessert course: Before serving dessert, clear away anything that pertained to dinner—including any unused utensils, bread, butter, salt, and pepper—then set the dessert fork and spoon. This is more of a restaurant style of service, and it’s guaranteed to make your guests feel that you’re paying special attention to them.

  Napkins are folded and placed on the dinner plate, to the left of the fork(s), or under the fork(s), depending on your style.

  Now, where to put all the glasses? Water glasses are set above and slightly to the right of the knife (think 45-degree angle). Wineglasses are grouped to the right of the water glass. If you’re serving more than one wine, follow the “outside in” rule, with the wine that’s being served first placed farthest to the right.

  Put salts and peppers (at least one set for every four people) either at each end or each side of the table. If you want to up the quality of what you’re serving your guests, small, attractive bowls of kosher or sea salt are a great alternative to saltshakers, as are pepper grinders for pepper shakers. (See She Sells Sea Salt, page 94, in Chapter 7, Fabulous Food.)

  Take a moment to study the effect. Then take another moment to straighten any crooked silverware and check to see that the bottoms of the handles are evenly aligned with the edge of the table. Perfect!

  Table Setting, Part 2

  Now for the creative part—the decorating! It’s time to add flowers, candles, place cards, or any other decorations that come to mind. The space not taken up by place settings is your available real estate. Arrange your decorations so diners sitting opposite can see each other, and choose flowers, centerpieces, and candles that complement your tablecloth, place mats, or dishes.

  If you have a single centerpiece, place it in the exact center of the table. For a formal and traditional look group a series of smaller arrangements or decorations either symmetrically or in a single line down the center. You can also step outside the box and create an asymmetrical arrangement for a less formal and predictable effect. Whatever approach you take, the key is to make a balanced arrangement.

  Scatter votives in clusters of twos, threes, and fives, or zigzag the candles and alternate with little flower arrangements in small, unmatched containers, like a collection of white pottery in different shapes. Candles can also be placed symmetrically, in pairs, or grouped asymmetrically. It’s fine if they’re of differing heights—again, the idea is to create a balanced, pleasing tablescape.

  If you’re using place cards, center them above each plate.

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  Quiet, Please

  A silence cloth is a pad placed underneath a tablecloth to protect a table from spills and to muffle the sound of silverware, plates, and glasses on the table. The pad can either be cut to the size of the table or overhang the edges. Years ago, silence cloths were made of felt; today thick felt is hard to find, so most silence cloths are made from padded vinyl or plastic. These can be stiff, though, and while they protect the table they can make candles and glasses a little wobbly. We both like to use a thin ivory or white microfleece blanket. Besides keeping the tablecloth nice and smo oth, it has the added benefit of letting it drape beautifully.

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  The Buffet

  Another important consideration is how the meal will be served. Plating the meal in the kitchen may take a few extra minutes, but it has certain advantages: It lets you compose and garnish each plate to your liking, and it also gives you portion control. If you’re planning to serve the food buffet style, you’ll need to set up your buffet table ahead of time. Think about traffic flow when deciding on location—you want your guests to move easily through the line and to the table. Protect surfaces such as wood with a tablecloth or runner, or use trivets or hot trays under hot dishes. Stack the dinner plates at the beginning of the line and lay out platters and serving utensils for each item being served. Hint: Use a Post-it to label each serving bowl or platter with the dish that will be going in it. That way, when it comes time to fill them, you or your helpers will know exactly what goes where.

  Setting A Beautiful Table

  Part of the fun of hosting a dinner party is setting the table: creating a centerpiece and choosing the linens, dishware and glasses, serving pieces and candles. Cooking and style magazines are full of ideas for simple ways to dress your table. Let the occasion, theme, or season inspire you. A beautiful table only enhances the dinner party ambience. Here are some ideas:

  Summer. Fill a glass bowl wit
h lemons or peaches; put bright zinnias or garden flowers in canning jars; place heirloom tomatoes of different colors in a wooden bowl. Straw or raffia place mats or runners give a summery feel, and outside, colorful oilcloth is cheery and practical.

  Lobster dinner. Sprinkle beach glass and shells down the center of the table; use new dish towels for “lapkins.” Butcher paper on the table is fun for lobster, crab, and crawdad dinners, and makes for easy cleanup.

  Easter. For the centerpiece, surround a tray of green grass with a scattering of dyed or colored eggs in varying sizes; use tiny pots of tête-à-tête (mini) daffodils as place cards.

  Let the cuisine determine the decor. For example, a Chinese menu could be enhanced by a black tablecloth, white plates, and red napkins wrapped with white bands printed with fortunes; hang Chinese lanterns and arrange a centerpiece of red chrysanthemums.

  Winter white. Simplicity can be stunning. Set the entire table in different textures and shades of white and off-white, with one, two, or three coral red camellias for color.

  Fall harvest dinner. Lay clipped bay branches or other local greenery directly on a bare wood table, radiating out from the center on a round table or down the center on a rectangular table. Nestle tiny apples, quinces, pomegranates, the last of the season’s small peaches, and purple grapes with lots of bloom (that delicate mistiness) among the greenery. Scatter votives around the table.

  Setting The Buffet Table

  Traditionally, the meat is first, then side dishes, with any gravies, sauces, or condiments at the end. We actually like to do the reverse: green salad first, then side vegetables or starch, and then the protein, which can nestle on top of the other elements if need be. Condiments go near their intended accompaniments—chutney or salsa verde alongside meat, herb butter next to biscuits—so it’s clear what they’re intended to be used for. Why do we prefer to do it this way? Aesthetically, guests tend to compose a more balanced looking plate when they serve themselves in this order. And psychologically, filling the plate with salad and sides first avoids the my-eyes-are-bigger-than-my-stomach syndrome, in which people load their plates with more of the meat or fish course than they can actually eat, helping to ensure that the salmon or steak won’t go to waste.