That Night with You
Page 25
“There she is.” Charlie was picked up and twirled around by a tall, lanky man in a black tux and disheveled thick black hair. When her feet returned to the floor, Charlie kissed her new husband’s lips. “What are you girls talking about?” Nelson inquired in his unusually deep voice.
Madison looked over his hooked nose, full, wide mouth, and high forehead…and for a moment envied her friend. For the rest of her life, Charlie had someone to be there for her, making Madison wonder if she would ever know such contentment.
“Madison’s date never showed,” Charlie told Nelson.
Nelson’s dark brown eyes narrowed with concern. “Isn’t he your boss?”
Madison nodded.
Nelson gave Madison an encouraging smile. “Screw him. You don’t need that kind of man, Madison. There are lots of men here tonight who would do a lot better by you than your boss.”
Madison felt guilty. She didn’t want to be talking about such a depressing subject as her love life at her friend’s wedding. It was a happy occasion, and no matter how devastated she felt, she could never let it show.
“Never mind about me, Nelson. I’ll be fine.” She put on a brave smile.
“I know you will. You just need to find someone new to forget about him.” Nelson turned to his wife. “You ready to take our first dance together? The band’s waiting for us to dance before they start their set.”
Beaming, Charlie let Nelson lead her away. Lizzie and Madison watched as Nelson slipped his arm about Charlie’s shoulder as he guided her to the white-tiled dance floor set up in front of the stage.
“I need to find Barry. He left ten minutes ago to get me something to eat,” Lizzie stated as she scanned the room. “Are you going to be all right, Madison?”
She patted Lizzie’s hand. “Go and find your date. I’m just going to stay here and watch their first dance.”
Lizzie took off in the direction of the buffet tables as Madison checked her phone once more.
“Damn things,” a man spoke up behind her. “Always got to keep checking them to see if you’ve missed anything.”
Madison was about to turn to the voice when a handsome man in a black suit appeared in front of her. He was of medium height with a wide set of shoulders and lots of blond, curly hair.
“Yeah, technology,” she remarked with a shrug. “What are you going to do?”
He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “My addiction is email. I’m always checking to see if I got any. What’s yours?”
Madison put her phone back down on the bar, uncomfortable with his piercing blue eyes and how they were examining her face and figure. “I was, ah, just waiting for a phone call.”
“At a wedding?” He laughed, and the sound took Madison by surprise. It was a jovial chortle that instantly made her stop and look at the man with a renewed interest.
“I was waiting to hear from a friend.” She picked up her champagne.
He held out his hand to her. “I’m Jimmie by the way, Jimmie Kirkland. I went to law school with Nelson. You’re Madison, right?”
Madison shook his hand, recalling Charlie just mentioning Nelson’s friend. “Are you looking for Nelson?”
“Actually, he told me to come over here and talk to you.”
Madison suddenly felt foolish. “I see.”
A booming voice came over the speakers at the front by the stage, announcing the first dance of Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Peevy. Madison peered through the crowd, wanting to catch a glimpse of the important moment.
“So this friend you’re waiting to hear from,” Jimmie moved next to her at the bar, “is he a boyfriend?”
“No. He’s just a friend.” A twinge of sorrow meandered through Madison’s heart.
Jimmie’s blue eyes perked up. “Glad to hear it.”
The strains of a famous rock ballad from the eighties blared across the ballroom as the lights dimmed. Madison stood by the bar, not sure of what to say or do, when Jimmie edged closer to her.
“You’re drinking champagne?”
She nodded.
He waved down a bartender dressed all in black. “Another champagne, and a scotch and soda.” When the bartender hurried to get their drinks, Jimmie returned his unsettling eyes to her. “Nelson told me you’re an architect; where do you work?”
“Parr and Associates.”
“Never heard of them,” Jimmie confessed. “What do you build there?”
Madison told him about her design for the Martins as they waited for their drinks. She thought she would have a hard time talking to a stranger, but somehow Jimmie made her feel at ease as he asked her questions about architectural design.
Soon they were talking about more than houses, and as Madison became comfortable with the attractive lawyer, she began to relax. She found that she was laughing at his jokes and liked the way his eyes crinkled around the edges every time he smiled. When he talked he waved his slender hands about in the air, and Madison was captivated by his long, supple fingers.
A long ago disco classic was making the walls of the ballroom thump as the dance floor crowded with everyone trying to “shake their booty.” Madison gawked at the couples running to the dance floor to share in the excitement.
Jimmie reached for the champagne flute in her hand. “Come on. Let’s go dance.” He plonked her glass on the bar and held out his hand.
Madison’s stomach twisted into a knot and her eyes darted about the faces of the guests, nervous about what everyone would think if she danced with the handsome attorney. She needed to be cautious and not draw attention to….
Christ, I sound just like Hayden.
The weeks she had spent with Hayden came into focus in that instant. She had been living sequestered away with him for so long that she had forgotten what it was like to just be carefree, uninhibited, and…normal. The realization sent a shockwave through her. Was that what had been missing from her life, being normal? Madison knew what she shared with Hayden wasn’t exactly ordinary, but she had never understood how much their secretive affair had affected her. Perhaps it was time to embrace a new way of thinking.
Madison reconsidered Jimmie’s outstretched hand. “I would love to dance with you.”
As he escorted her across the ballroom, placing his hand about her waist, she thought of Hayden and how she wished it had been him taking her to the dance floor instead of Jimmie.
But he’s not here, Madison, the voice in her head reminded her.
A catchy Latin song was heating up the dance floor when she set foot on the white tiles. Emboldened by the beat, Madison started to sway her hips, laughing as she got caught up in the music. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she was having fun, kicking up her heels and living. Surveying the dance floor, she spotted Charlie with her new husband and Lizzie clinging to a lanky redhead. When her eyes returned to Jimmie, awkwardly gyrating to the music, Madison made a solemn promise: never again would she be left in such an awkward situation by a man. She was going to have to make some changes in her life…big changes. Otherwise, she would never find the kind of happiness she now knew she deserved.
***
It was around eleven when Jimmie escorted Madison to her apartment building after giving her a ride in his new black Lexus GX.
“Thanks again for bringing me home,” she told Jimmie as they rode up in the elevator to the fifth floor.
“It’s the least I can do for stepping all over your toes.”
Madison softly giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry about it. It was fun.”
He rolled his blue eyes. “Fun until you told me you were a dancer in high school. Then I felt like a total geek.”
That made her laugh out loud. “No, please. I only dabbled in dancing. You make it sound like I was a professional, but it was nothing like that.”
The elevator doors opened on the fifth floor. “But you’re a really good dancer. If I promise to try very hard not to step on your toes, would you let me take you dancing again? W
hat do you say?”
Madison followed him out into the hallway, searching her purse for her keys. “I’m tempted to give you another try. I think….” Her voice faltered as a figure moved out from the shadows by her apartment door.
He was wearing the black suit she had selected from his closet earlier that day, but he had not put on the yellow tie she had picked out, and his white shirt was open at the top. His dark, wavy hair was disheveled, as if he had been running his hands through it again and again.
“Madison,” Hayden calmly said as he came closer, his eyes riveted on Jimmie.
“Hayden, what are you doing here?”
“I went to the reception hall to collect you and was told by Mrs. Leder that you had already gotten a ride home.” He came right up to her, his gaze never leaving Jimmie.
“Ah, yes.” Madison motioned to an uncomfortable-looking Jimmie. “Jimmie Kirkland, this is my boss, Hayden Parr.”
Jimmie shoved his hands into the trouser pockets of his black suit. “I guess I should go.” His eyes shifted to Madison, and suddenly she felt like shit. “Thanks again for the dance.”
“Thank you for the ride.”
Jimmie spun around and headed back toward the elevators. Madison stood in the hallway and waited to hear the elevator doors close before she directed her gaze to Hayden.
“I can’t believe Mrs. Leder told you I got a ride home.” She went to her door and he came up behind her as she worked the lock.
“You danced with him?”
Madison glared back at him. “Well, you weren’t there.”
“Was he my replacement?”
The deadbolt gave way on her front door. “He’s a friend of Nelson’s. We talked and danced a bit. When he found out my ride stood me up, he offered to take me home.”
“I didn’t stand you up, I was late.” She felt his breath on the back of her neck. “I have to wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been here. Were you going to let him in?”
“Drop it, Hayden,” she sharply warned, pushing her apartment door open.
He followed her inside. “I’m a little late to the party and already you’re picking up strange men.” His voice was peppered with anger. “Makes me wonder what I mean to you after all.”
“I could be asking you the same question!” She hurled her purse at the sofa. “The ceremony was three hours ago, Hayden. Where were you?”
“I got held up.”
“Held up where?” she bellowed, wrenching off one of her high-heeled, chocolate and light blue tie-dyed shoes.
He contemplatively pursed his lips together before casually strolling to her side. “I was getting ready to leave for the wedding when Pat Martin knocked on my door. He wanted to talk about the house in Turtle Creek. I’ve spent the better part of the ceremony and reception trying to talk Pat out of backing out of the deal.”
She dropped the shoe in her hand to the floor and reached for the other. “What happened?”
“He and Stevie have reconsidered the build. Seems they want to renovate the place they’re in.”
“Son of a bitch!” Madison shouted, and threw her shoe to the floor. “After all the hours I’ve put in on their design?”
“My sentiments exactly, but that’s the business, baby. Some build, some don’t.”
“Why didn’t you at least call me, and leave a message…a text, anything?” She went over to the sofa and plopped down on the cushy material. “It was humiliating, Hayden, standing there, waiting for you to show up. Meanwhile, I had to listen to my friends go on and on about what an undeserving shit you are.”
“‘Undeserving shit’? Really?” He grimaced. “Then I’m sorry. Truly, Madison, but I couldn’t get away from Pat and Stevie to phone you. I couldn’t chance Stevie listening in. She would have run right back to Ellen with that, and then where would we be?”
She sat back on the couch with a thud. The entire evening she had felt rejected by Hayden and humiliated in front of her friends, but all he had been concerned about was his ex finding out about his plans.
“Where are we exactly, Hayden?”
He took a seat next to her. “What do you mean?”
“Hayden, how do you feel about me?”
“I thought we cleared this up last night.”
“No, we didn’t.” Madison shook her head, her disgust rising in the back of her throat. “You just avoided the question.”
“What will it take to convince you, Madison?”
She sat up and faced him. “The words, Hayden. I need to hear the words.”
“You’re…important to me,” he begrudgingly answered.
She glared at him, trying to find an inkling of emotion in his frigid eyes. “Important? After tonight, I’m not convinced of that.”
He leaned in to kiss her. “Then let me remind you.”
She arched away from him. “Stop it, Hayden. That’s not what I want from you right now.”
“Come on, Madison.” He stood from the sofa. “You’re mine, what else do you need to hear?”
She stood up next to him. “In all the time we’ve spent together, I don’t remember you mentioning anything about your emotions. You keep telling me I’m yours, but that is possession, not emotion, Hayden. There’s a difference.”
“I know that!” Stepping away from the couch, he raked his hand through his hair. “Jesus, what more do you want from me?”
His eyes changed, and in an instant he was like a cornered animal. Was this the real Hayden Parr?
“Shit!” His stern features softened. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just saying…. When I married Ellen, I thought I had found the woman I wanted. Afterwards, I realized I’d made a mistake. I regret ever telling her how I felt because she used it as a weapon against me time and time again. I want you in my life, Madison, but I’m a cautious man where my feelings are concerned.”
He went to embrace her, but she backed away. “This isn’t about being cautious.”
“Are you going to run away from me again?”
“I’m not running, Hayden. I’m just figuring out where I stand with you.”
“Where you stand? Dammit, Madison, you know where you stand. Stop acting like a child.”
Like a brick through a plate glass window, Madison was jarred by his comment. He was right; she had been acting like a child. She had handed herself over to Hayden and forgotten about her wants and desires in order to please him. Suddenly, something inside of her snapped. She was done with being his to control. It was time to get her life, and her future, back on track.
“Tonight at that wedding, when I was dancing with Jimmie, I realized something.” She eased back from him, wrapping her arms about her body. “I don’t want to hide behind closed doors anymore. I want to do all of those boring dating things you’ve avoided: go to the movies, dine out with friends, and be just like every other couple. I’m sick of worrying what people will think or what they will say. I’ve been pleasing everyone else but me lately and I can’t go on like that. I guess that’s what I discovered tonight. What we have doesn’t feel real…at least not to me.”
His small eyes became wide with astonishment. “Real? How can you—?”
“If it was real, you could say the words I need to hear.”
Combing both hands through his hair, he blew out a frustrated breath. “Look, Madison, I know how hard it has been for you, and I’m sorry—”
“I don’t want any more apologies, Hayden. I want you to go.”
“Go?” He eased closer, and dipping his head in front of her, he growled, “Don’t do this. Don’t push me away. You’re upset.”
“I’m not upset. I need more; more than just an arrangement. That’s what this has been. That’s all it has been.”
The flash of anger in his eyes quickly gave way to pain. She had hurt him, and that more than anything only added to her misery. Part of her wanted to fling her arms about him and take back her words, but the realist inside of her knew that could never happen. She would never
have the kind of life she wanted if she continued with him.
Turning away, Hayden went to the apartment door and paused, eyeing his hand on the doorknob. “You take some time and think about this, Madison. You must know that I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted any woman, and I’m willing to wait for you…for as long as it takes.”
Slipping out the door, he slammed it closed.
The overwhelming anxiety to chase after him flooded through her like a crushing torrent over a high dam. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her what she meant to him, and make all the apprehension inside of her go away. Shutting out her emotions, Madison vowed that it was for the best. A man that could not give all of himself would never be completely there for her. She had seen what true happiness was with another; Charlie and Nelson had shown her the right kind of relationship to make her want to avoid continuing with the wrong kind. It was time to move on.
Chapter 19
After a weekend of contemplation, Madison decided on a plan of action for her life. In order to break clean with Hayden and start anew, she had to do more than leave him behind…she had to leave her job, too. The decision made her anxious, but after going through her finances, she figured she had three solid months to find a new job before all hell broke loose.
Monday morning she marched into her office and sat down at her computer. She had been writing and re-writing her resignation letter in her head all weekend, and as she typed out her planned explanation for her hasty departure, she prayed Hayden would let her go and not put up a fight. She didn’t think she had the strength to fight him. No, Madison knew she didn’t have the strength, which scared her more than the possibility of being destitute.
A knock at her open office door made her hands come to a halt on the keyboard. Swallowing back her apprehension, she slowly pivoted around in her chair, fully expecting to see Hayden standing in her office doorway. Fortunately, a happy surprise awaited her when she beheld the intense brown eyes of Garrett Hughes.
“I just wanted to stop by and say good-bye.” Garrett closed her office door. “I’ll be leaving for New Orleans tomorrow.”